Iwagakure's Unexpected
by TransientBANG
Summary: A murder drove Deidara over the line and he broke away from his village in a flight of rage. Now blazing under the guise of anti-nationalism, he seeks to create true ART and to find a place where freedom really does come without a cost... or illusion.
1. Prologue: Invitation to Devastation

**AN:** Please keep in mind that I started this thing back in 2007, so there will be age-related discrepancies and stylistic development as the story progresses. Deidara and all canon characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto.

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**Iwagakure's Unexpected**

**By TransientBANG  
**

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**Prologue: Invitation to Devastation**

Silently, I pressed my thin body against the semi-translucent sliding doors. My ears strained to pick up the faint mutterings of my aunt and grandfather. I was glad that it was dark on my side of the papery, sail-like barrier; otherwise my noticeable silhouette would have shone blackly through it. And this wasn't a conversation I'd have liked to be caught eavesdropping on.

"I don't care how he's been behaving lately, Takumi-ue! I refuse to let him stay with me while you're gone! You know how I feel on this matter…"

"Oh, come on Tsukiko-san! I've got to do this; it's mandatory for our village's success in the weapons trade. I would greatly-"

The male speaker was cut off by a sharp exclamation from the other.

"Takumi!" There were no formalities now. "He… I don't… He has all these new ideas; it's just not the way we do things in Rock. I'll never forget the boy's mysterious, pardon me, I mean DARK past. He makes me nervous, ugh!"

My grandfather waited patiently for my aunt's outburst to subside, then he continued from where he had been cut off.

"I would greatly appreciate you taking care of him for two weeks, okay? It's not that long, and anyway, he has been so good…"

Aunt Tsukiko scoffed harshly,

"Well, I haven't yet let go of what he did to my canyon shrub last year… it never recovered. And isn't it about time you retired? You're getting on as it is, but shinobi work is so demanding…"

Now it was Grandpa Takumi who snorted indignantly.

"And you know this how? You're never too old to serve your village, look at that Chiyo-sama of Sand! I dare say she's older than me!"

There was an awkward silence in which only the sound of my pulse was audible. Then I heard the creak of aged knees raising a tired body from the table.

"This is it, Tsukiko-san. I have nowhere else to leave Deidara, you must take him."

And that was all, I, Deidara, caught before I stealthily got to my feet and sprinted lightly into the dark hallway, onto the porch, and then out on the shale strewn ground.


	2. Me and My Secret

**Me and My Secret**

I stalked through the quiet Village Hidden Among Rocks, my presence going unnoticed by the houses perched high within the canyon's crags. They were deadened by the blanket of night engulfing my home, so even the buildings built on ground level were unaware of me. Though, there weren't many. The earth was too bumpy; it was covered in rocks and boulders, some even larger than elephants. It, along with the constantly shifting geography made construction very difficult. And that was without the gale-force winds that tore through the canyons, picking up and hurling stones around as easily as one might toss a coin. Yeah, I wouldn't have been out to go listening in on my aunt and grandpa if the dangerous gusts were active. But as it was, the air was still and thickly stale.

I passed the stone-cut stairs to Suzume-chan, my friend's, house, which was situated precariously close to the edge of a crumbling ledge about 30 feet above me. I had told her many times that the rock would break off and send her front door step crashing on top of someone else's home, but she wasn't on my mind this evening. I had more pressing concerns consuming my thoughts. The ones that I spent most of my time avoiding, but were painfully brought up when people mentioned my… hmm…

I clambered between the familiar two rocks which hid my private training ground from unwanted eyes, having to shuffle along at one point where the boulders converged even closer than was usual. I slipped through like I always did, my accurate indicator as to whether I had lost weight during my bought of severe depression. I had.

I finally stumbled through the gap into my lonely retreat. It was a good sized clearing, or I thought so, at least. It had looked considerably worse before I became a chunin, but after my promotion I decided I should probably shape up a bit. That had included a few hours of backbreaking labor, carrying heavy rocks to the outermost edges of the circle. Thank goodness, though, that the sun rarely showed its face in this part of the canyons. My training ground was in constant shadows. Something I didn't mind in the least. What I did there was frowned upon by some of the other shinobi of Iwagakure. They called my experiments in… art… frivolous, and a waste of energy that could be put into my career. Grandpa Takumi-sama was a little more indulgent, his name meant "artisan", after all, but he still advised me to devote some of my time into developing a jutsu for myself.

At the moment I wasn't feeling inclined to take his advice. He had made me seem so… bad in his conversation with Aunt Tsukiko-sama… Like he was apologizing for my behaviour, and almost _begging_ her to hold on to me while he was absent, something that he did every time I eavesdropped on his conversations, no matter with who. Another thing that made me mad! (I mean angry, I'm not crazy!) Where was he going again? I fervently hoped that he wasn't taking up one of the missions I had rejected, that would be sooo embarrassing! He did that frequently, as he had never exceeded the rank of chunin, and I wasn't interested in much besides art. In my opinion, shinobi arts and REAL art were two totally different things that couldn't possibly coexist harmoniously. What did brutal bloodshed and the thoughtful insight of art have in common? I couldn't see then…

I trotted over to my favourite rock. Hmm, that's right, my favourite rock, I liked to pretend that it was just slightly softer than the others. I slowly lowered myself onto its cold surface, recoiling my hand when it touched the smooth face. My hands were… sensitive… And nights were cold here; we were close to the desert region of Sunagakure.

I was thankful for the tan coloured turtleneck sweater I had donned before my espionage dealing. The black net shirt I wore underneath it would hardly have been sufficient to keep out the chilly air. Besides that, I was wearing my dark blue, open-toed sandals, and black, knee-length shorts. My legs were freezing. The thin, transparent hairs on them stood straight up. One of those things that my peers teased me about. They called me a girl 'cause my best friend was one, and my blond ponytail worn high and proud was another one of what they called "indicators". The part of my bangs that wasn't held up in the ponytail fell gracefully over my left eye, though I could still see through it. The rest of my hair hung lifelessly behind my neck. I had small dark rings around my eyes, which everyone thought were make-up, though they actually were the result of sleep deprivation. The actual colour of my eyes was an intense sort of turquoise/aqua. The headband worn by all Iwagakure shinobi was sitting snugly over my eyes, sort of giving my bangs life, and causing them to stand up. It had the two characteristic overlapping rocks, one larger than the other, inscribed on the shiny metal surface.

I must say, that forehead protector hadn't done much protecting lately. The only reason I was a ninja was because it was my parents' wish for me, or that's what Grandpa Takumi-sama told me. I didn't really believe him. I thought that it was more like his desire, a way to keep me busy and out of trouble.

Thinking of my parents brought a knot into my chest. They weren't real to me. I had never met them. All they were, were memories kept alive in the burning fire of the other villagers' reminiscences. I disliked my parents. It was because of them that I was shunned and regarded as… abnormal. Grandpa Takumi-sama told me that I had been found in a fissure that was a known hiding spot of my parents. I had apparently been abandoned. My mother and father had fled from the village as soon as I was born. My aunt Tsukiko-sama, who was my mother's sister, and Grandpa's daughter in law, had originally been willing to raise me. But then… my deformity was discovered, and she handed me over to my grandfather. Deep down… he blamed me for their disappearance, a very human thing to do, I knew it! Takumi-sama and Tsukiko-sama were the closest family I had, but still… They only half-accepted me for who I was, just like everyone else. I would have liked to live alone, like Suzume-chan. I was old enough, 15. But as I so rarely took on missions these days, I didn't have the cash to finance that endeavour. And _I _was not about to go rough it in the wilds.

My left hand throbbed suddenly, but I didn't hold it with the other hand. I instead drew it close to my body, my face grimacing in an unsightly way. The clearing was still and silent for a moment, only disturbed by my rhythmic breathing.

I had the sudden urge to make something.

I leapt to my feet, shoving the gloomy prospect of two weeks with Tsukiko-sama from my mind.

Cautiously, I climbed over the side of the perimeter opposite from my rock. I was particularly careful to avoid falling down the steep drop that started mere inches before my foot. I could make it to the bottom of the hill if I took care not to dislodge any of the boulders. If I were to disturb the wrong one it would send an avalanche sprawling down the slant. But I was quite confident by now in my capabilities, having done this many times before.

Nimbly, I leapt forward ten feet into the air, positioning my feet ahead of my body. I already knew my path; it was well tested and worn. I landed lightly on a distant sheet of slate, my body bending radically to absorb the shock. Then I rocketed up again, jumping from rock to rock in the same form. As I hovered in the sky, moments from impact with my destination, I could have sworn I felt a slight breeze twine past my ear. Better make this quick.

I made contact with the ground a little less gracefully then I would have liked, then straightened my frame.

I was facing a thin, trickling stream that ran down the rest of the hill, though not at such an extreme or dangerous angle as my descending path. The stream and a few of its tributaries emerged from the pile of rocks behind me and disappeared into the distance of the narrowing canyon walls on either side of it. If one were to keep going, they would reach a sheer dead end after a fairly safe journey.

I stooped down beside the water, letting a finger trail through its icy silk. I took a few steps down the relatively evened-out path, walking briskly 'till I reached the spot I had been intending to find.

It was a fairly large muddy bowl which connected to the stream, and caused strands of silt to dirty the rest of the water's progress. It had been smaller originally, but I had dug it out more over time to satisfy my growing ambitions.

I knelt beside the filthy pool, taking more time than was necessary. This was a ritual, and it would be almost… disrespectful to break it.

I gazed down into the hidden depths of my imagination. That insignificant puddle. Then I pulled myself away slightly, and saw my reflection instead. My indifferent face that hid so much from everyone else.

I braced myself.

"Close it, close it, close it! You know that doesn't taste good."

Then, pulling up the sleeve of my sweater, I plunged my right arm elbow-deep into the mud.

For a few moments I groped around in discomfort, feeling the diluted dirt swirling around me and getting under my fingernails. I was worried for a moment that I might have to dig deeper again, but my fears were alleviated when my fingers scraped against the pasty feel of something far more viscous. I grabbed at the new material, getting as much of it as I could hold in one hand, then pulled against the mud suctioning my arm to the floor of the pool. I struggled briefly, and then my arm shot up, holding the greyish substance triumphantly above my head. I was splattered with brown water by the force of my limb's withdrawal, but, hey! So what! I dug under my sweater with my clean hand, unearthing a small, oily, leather sack. I shook the slimy stuff off my hand and into the pouch.

I had it.

At that moment a more than slight wind came up from behind me, ruffling my hair, and biting at my exposed arm and legs.

There was no time to go back for more.

The weather was quickly turning foul. The once clear sky was darkening with bloated clouds that hid the stars from my sight. And the air had become noticeable fresher. It almost smelled as though a good rain were coming.

Breaking out of my trance of victory, I lunged backwards, pitching my body ahead of my feet. My sandals slapped loudly on the rock surface, as I retraced my steps desperately. Carefully up the pile, frantically past the two stone sentries, and then I burst back out into civilization.

I must have been pretty preoccupied not to regard the absence of shinobi patrols as suspicious. The only time they weren't on the watch for enemies was when there was a forecast for viscous winds. Intruders didn't dare invade Iwagakure at those times. It was doubtful that you'd survive if you were caught outside.

There was no time for me to go to Grandpa Takumi-sama's house; I had to find shelter anywhere!

I sprinted hard for Suzume-chan's house. Luckily, it was closest to my base, for even if there was a house nearer to me, I couldn't rely on just anyone to open up for me. I wasn't an admired sort of citizen of Iwagakure, and everyone had locked their houses up with durable steel panels that slid around their decks. It was risky to open the protection up. Even if the roofs were made of steel, rocks and grit could still come flying through the barriers. But I knew that Suzume-chan would let me in.

I bolted up the dusty stairs, taking them three at a time in my haste. A strong gust hit me sideways, threatening to lift me off of my feet. I held fast, though.

When I reached the top of the flight, I threw my weight against the sliding protection, crying out with all of my might,

"Suzume-chan! It's Deidara! Please, open up!!"

I beat my fists helplessly, groaning in pain. I couldn't hear if she was coming to my aid, and didn't know if she could hear me either!

Then relief! I could feel the shaking of someone else working the locks off of the inside of the door, and a voice calling out to me, and only me,

"I'm coming, hold on!"

The panels broke apart by a crack, and I slipped through so fast that I fell to the boards on my stomach. The opening was slammed shut hastily.

I heard nervous laughter above me, and flipped onto my back so I could see the girl standing over me.

"Well, fancy that. Deidara-kun, you know better than to be out tonight! What on earth was so important that you'd risk your life for it out there?!"

Suzume-chan didn't look angry with me, her face merely expressed worry and a deep concern for me. That expression cut me right to the quick. Before I could answer her, she sliced through the wordless exchange.

"Come inside. You'll have a good excuse, I suppose."

So I followed Suzume-chan out of her old porch, and into an immaculate tile hallway, wondering if my excuse was _really_ going to be good enough in her eyes.

Suzume-chan indicated to the mat sitting in front of the kitchen entrance. Her long, waist length, red hair swatted me about the face as I bent down to pull my sandals off. When I looked up again, she was standing in the kitchen, messily pouring two mugs of steaming hot chocolate. A tray of wafers sat nearby. Suzume-chan made like she was going to set them down on the bluish, marble table, but I finally spoke up,

"Could we eat on the porch, please? I want to be closer to the storm…" She gave me a quizzical look, then hastened over to me, slopping the scalding liquid onto the shining floor.

"Geez, and I just washed it, too…"

"Aren't you always cleaning those stupid floors? Please, I know you have better things to do, Ms. I'M-GONNA-BE-A-JOUNIN-AT-SIXTEEN!!!!!" I smiled wryly.

"True," said Suzume-chan, passing me a mug as we walked back to the porch, "But you need somewhere to fall back on, what am I supposed to do at the end of the day when I return to a pig-sty? I'd drive myself crazy in a messy house."

We reached the closed up balcony-like porch, Suzume-chan taking a seat in one of the flimsy lawn chairs positioned at a strategic viewing point that was now hidden. I slowly slid down one of the aged pillars holding the roof up. I could feel its rough splinters lodging themselves into my sweater. The steel panels rattled disturbingly near to my ear, reminding me of how close I had cut it.

"We'll all rue the day when you can finally afford a house. I expect I'll have to clean it for you, eh?" Suzume-chan looked smug, her vivid green eyes sparkled mischievously.

I grunted in agreement. Now the question was going to come up.

"So what were you doing, Deidara-kun? Surely not training? It's been awhile…"

Her beautiful face fell slightly, as though she had just remembered something.

"Hmm, no. I needed some more clay, I mean, I overheard something… It wasn't like… no, never mind, I was listening in." I struggled for the words that would tell her what I was feeling. People told me I was good with words, but at that moment I was lost on how to explain my problem.

Her eyes narrowed slightly.

"You weren't eavesdropping on your grandpa again, were you? You'll get caught some day, you know?"

"Yeah," I swallowed my retort before it came out. I had once opened a position on an A ranked mission for her through my unhealthy habit. It had been one Grandpa Takumi-sama hadn't been able to participate in, so I'd notified Suzume-chan right away and she had been able to fill the qualifications before her all-time rival, Hisoka-san, took her place. And it wasn't like I had anything personal against Hisoka-san; he treated me with cold indifference, and I the same, but Suzume-chan was vehemently against him. His emotionless, and overflowing skills and knowledge irritated her beyond no ends. She was the kind of sporadic person who couldn't handle controlled fighting, and interpreted his calm demeanor as being snobby. I think that I had more empathy for him, but Suzume-chan wouldn't hear of it. She was my best friend, so I'd pick her any day over Hisoka-san.

"What is it, Deidara-kun? It's okay." Suzume-chan looked worried. She leaned in closer to me. I was infinitely thankful for her.

"I… I heard Takumi-sama and Tsukiko-sama talking… Takumi-sama said that he was going on another mission, and he told Tsukiko-sama that I might have to stay with her… for two weeks! And you know he won't let me stay at your place… nasty accusations…" I winced angrily. "Hmm, yeah, that among other things…"

Suzume-chan looked furious.

"Talking about you again!? I wish they'd just give it a rest. It's getting old. It's about time that they just accept you for you! Ridiculous!" she spat.

It always surprised me how defensive she was of me, even I didn't stick-up for myself.

"It's not that bad, honestly! I just think that I'm making it sound worse than it is, that's all!" I didn't want to make it sound like I had a wretched life; I knew that there were others who were much less better off than me.

Suzume-chan was silent for a minute. The grating of steel against steel distracting her momentarily. She looked suspiciously at the doors, taking a slow sip of her hot chocolate.

I heard what she had, and began to edge away from the panels. The sound of tiny pebbles and gravel had stopped its pattering against the steel in a very large section of the barrier. But there was still the wind.

And then a brain-addling crash rent the air, as what had been blocking the smaller stones hurtled into the wall. Though there was no dent left by the boulder, I still wouldn't have wanted to be sitting near the place where it hit.

Neither of us spoke for a while, it was as though nothing had happened.

I just stared at Suzume-chan, not knowing what to do.

She was a very pretty girl, definitely a girl. Her shiny red hair swirled around her form constantly, as it was surprisingly light. It was cut in uneven lengths, except for her bangs, which went down to her chin, framing her impassive face. Her eyelashes were painted black, bringing out her lively, green eyes. She wore a red sort of tank top, and kaki shorts. Her sandals were covered in wrapping almost up to her knees. She also wore bandages under her zip-up tank top, a firm believer in modesty. She wore her Iwagakure forehead protector under her bangs, like I did, but she always kept her kunai pack strapped to her right leg. She was amazing.

"What are you going to make?" asked Suzume-chan, suddenly.

"Huh? Oh, with the clay!" I thought for awhile. Something that was worth my effort for sure. "Maybe… a bird?" I looked to her for approval. She grinned in a knowing way, though I wasn't sure what she was assuming.

"Good. That sounds really good. Are you going to make it tonight?"

"Hmm, might as well. Can't go home right now, can I? Wouldn't want to, anyway…" I muttered sullenly. I pulled the pouch of clay out from under my turtleneck sweater where it was tied to my belt. I glanced at Suzume-chan from the corner of my eye. I saw no sign of a protest arising to me dumping the slimy material on her floor. So I emptied the wet mass of clay onto the weathered boards of her porch.

"Can I watch you?" she asked quietly.

"I suppose that you could, but yeah, you may watch me… I know what you mean," I replied, without looking at her. I was splitting the clay into small pieces, working the slippery material still sopping with water into more manageable chunks.

I peered back at Suzume-chan, a little nervous now. The part I regretted showing people. I knew that she'd seen them plenty of times before, but I was still uncomfortable…

Self-consciously, I turned my hands to the ceiling, opening my clenched fists. My fingers uncurled to reveal the… the… mouths on the palms of my hands. Hmm, yeah, my useful deformity. The mouths were really something else… entirely. They had teeth, and each mouth a pointed tongue. They could taste, bite, grin, frown, anything. I had almost full control over them, sometimes they did embarrassing things on their own, but for the most part, they did whatever I wanted them to do. They were mine. And through the curse that separated me from the "normal" people, I could create the most extraordinary art.

With my right hand, I took a small portion of clay from the floor and held it over the palm-mouth on my left hand. It opened wide, and I dropped the clay in. Closing my fingers over the busy mouth, I put my other hand against one of clay curds abandoned on the floor. That mouth devoured the clay just as easily as the first one had. Taste wasn't such a big factor anymore.

I concentrated, working the clay around with my tongues. I was going to make an owl. I decided that I would start with the wings. I was slightly ambidextrous with my palm-mouths, so making around the same thing at the same time would be easier than working on the wings at separate points.

Suzume-chan watched me curiously. I could count on her not being disgusted. A nice feeling.

I opened my fingers and the mouths to show her my work. Two _almost_ identical, carefully crafted wings. They weren't that detailed, that wasn't my style. I believed that the more intricate a piece was, the more it distracted from the message and beauty of simplicity. All art has something in it that the artist wants to tell you. My works depicted something of my need for freedom… a subconscious sort of want.

The next part was the body and head, the tail would be last, as I was going to give it some extra effort and make it bigger than usual.

Again, I took clay into my mouths, silently forming my creation.

Suzume-chan sat on her knees in a dazed sort of rapture throughout my work. She had slid out of her deck chair somewhere along the way. A small smile touched her lips when I finally held up the finished product.

A little great-horned owl about four inches high. Something about it gave me the impression that it could just take off and fly despite its empty, lusterless eyes. I proffered the sculpture, still warm from my body's heat, to Suzume-chan.

She took it reverently. Her expressive eyes told me just how pleased she was with it. They flickered in my direction briefly, a question evident.

"Is this for me?" she asked, almost shyly.

"Yeah, if you really want what came out of some freak's mouths," I answered sarcastically.

Suzume-chan's eyes narrowed threateningly.

"Now, now, Deidara-kun, don't go making fun of yourself again, or I'll have to hurt you. You get it enough from everybody else, you don't need to be taking it from yourself, too," she protested, not unkindly.

"I don't take myself seriously." I raised a blond eyebrow.

"And is that any better?" Suzume-chan frowned.

"What? I'm not getting you anymore," I yawned, rubbing my eyes.

"Ah, you're tired, aren't you, Deidara-kun? Your wits aren't so sharp this late."

"Hmm…" I mumbled.

"I'll go get you a spare mat… I'm assuming that you're sleeping out here tonight?" Suzume-chan had gotten up and started for the front entrance. I nodded wearily.

"Lots of blankets, please…" I called to her retreating back. She gave no indication of having heard me, but I knew she had.

I waited patiently, my arms wrapped around my thin form. I watched the small puddle left by the clay slowly drain through the cracks in the porch's boards. Hmm, I really did need to perfect a fighting style for myself. I certainly hadn't become a chunin because of my combat abilities. My tactics and careful planning had saved me in the exams. Sure, I could fight well enough, but I didn't have a specialty yet.

On a sudden whim, I swore to myself that I would have a signature technique by the end of my two weeks with Tsukiko-sama. I wasn't going to hang out with her anyway, and at that quiet moment on the floor, it felt like the right thing to do. I wanted to change my ineptitude for ninjutsu… if I could do that; it would almost be like I was altering the very image of a loser that had been given to me by my peers.

Suzume-chan appeared suddenly, her arms ladened with fuzzy blankets and an old reed mat. She let everything drop to the floor in front of me.

"There you go. If you need more, just go into the boot room. I left some on the coat hangers." Suzume-chan began to leave.

"Goodnight Suzume-chan," I said softly.

"Yep, 'night Deidara-kun." She was gone.

I set my bed up roughly, listening to the rapping of pebbles hitting the protection.

When it looked sort of comfortable, I lay down on the hard mat, pulling the covers up automatically. I was glad to have another day over and done with. The hardest thing I had left to do now was sleep. But sleep I did.


	3. A Proposition

**A Proposition**

I woke up suddenly, drenched in dew. Hazily, I tried to figure out why I was soaking wet. Vague memories of waking up and falling asleep and waking up and falling asleep brushed against the corners of my mind. I finally was able to orient myself, and concluded that I was on Suzume-chan's porch… hmm.

The wind storm was over. I wondered if I would be able to sneak back into Grandpa Takumi-sama's house without being noticed, but somehow I doubted that my absence had gone unnoticed… I would be in knee-deep…

I lifted myself off of the squishy, damp boards, letting the blankets slide down my arched back. I folded them, thinking it was the least I could do for taking off without thanking Suzume-chan. I had had a bad feeling that she might be mad at me later. Quietly, I recovered my sandals and returned to the porch.

The sliding panels unlocked from the inside, so I twisted the deadbolt into open, and shoved the barrier aside.

A fresh new dawn greeted my senses. The smell of clean air was such a welcome change from the dank, musty recycled-oxygen of the canyons. The earth had been bathed into a beautiful cleanliness, the likes of which didn't occur often.

Far below me, I gazed past my toes at the new streams of water sweeping away to my clay reservoir, carrying garbage and all of the filth of man's labor into my training grounds. Oh, well. I thought that I might make some money if a can or two wandered down into my domain. Now wasn't the time to look.

Unhindered by the wind now, I threw myself off the edge of the stairs and hit the rock 30 feet below me, coming down successfully without injuring myself. Ha, a private victory.

I sprinted for Takumi-sama's house, following the slightly uphill street that wound through the village. I felt very exposed and out in the open. I knew that I was now being watched by the black-ops, even if I couldn't see them. Hmm, disconcerting.

I was glad when the road dwindled down into a small path. The houses pressed in closer now, giving me more cover.

Then I saw it. The small and elegant house of my grandfather. And beyond that home, the Tsuchikage's massive headquarters. A place that I'd only been told I'd been to before… when I was discovered. I was still rather uncertain of what had transpired there.

I hesitantly approached the front porch that spanned around the whole building. The sliding protection had been folded back into the slots in the wall. Uh… that meant that Takumi-sama was already up! A sick feeling of anxiety writhed within the pit of my stomach.

Dread washed over me as I crept back into the hall. I slipped my sandals off and headed for my small, dark bedroom past the living room, but was met by the last person on earth that I'd hoped to see here, now, of all times!

Aunt Tsukiko-sama stood menacingly over the battered TV set, looking disappointed with it. She seemed to snap out of a trance when I entered; her wrath was suddenly turned on me.

"Deidara-san! Where have you been you been all night?! Takumi-ue was so worried about you; you could have been killed, blah, blah, blah…" I began to filter out her monologue, nodding and agreeing blankly. I finally interrupted her. "…He knew you were a disturbed child, but no, you couldn't have seriously been with that girl again…"

"Tsukiko-sama," I said loudly. She looked affronted. "Where is Takumi-sama?" I feigned partial ignorance, I didn't know if Grandpa Takumi-sama had left already.

"My word, he didn't tell you?" Tsukiko-sama looked genuinely surprised. "Left for Takumi village, ironically. He's on a mission. Now, if you had just gotten up a bit earlier, you might have been able to say goodbye," she chastised. I ignored her.

"Why are you here?" I pretended not to know again.

"My, you're slow on the uptake today…" I blocked out the slight on my comprehension. "I'm here to take care of you while he's gone. That means paying for your groceries; you're not staying at my house."

That was interesting, she had either weaseled her way out of allowing me to stay with her, or she was deliberately disobeying Grandpa Takumi-sama. Aunt Tsukiko-sama was a sly one, I'd give her that.

"You leaving money here, hmm?" I asked indifferently. "Otherwise I don't need you, Auntie-sama."

"Yes… on the counter… dare I venture into that disaster area you call a bedroom…"

She shuffled over to the battered couch opposite the tube, clutching one of the remotes in her semi-transparent hands. It almost looked as though she had slept over last night. She was still wearing a fluffy pink bath towel and her feet were sheathed in a pair of beat up carpet slippers. I guess, despite how old fashioned she was, Tsukiko-sama didn't feel as though it were necessary to reserve herself around me. She was in her pajamas, which meant that Takumi-sama had left shortly after I had pulled myself away from their conversation.

Tsukiko-sama's face was thankfully blank now. She gazed at the television with an expression that suggested that whatever she was watching held the very dominance of fate itself. All of the lines that ridged her face were the hard-earned work of years of fretting over trivial matters and other people's concerns. They brought out her sapphire eyes, so like her sister's… like mine. Her hair was black like my mother's… though it was now shot through with silver. I was only, surprisingly, blond from my father.

I was feeling pretty bummed out about having to put up with my aunt… but at least I didn't have to LIVE with her. She could be horrible sometimes… Though she didn't ever tell you outright to your face, you knew she had this kind of contempt thing going, and she always invented ways to imply that you weren't good enough for her. I was able to brush it off fairly well, unless I had to spend too much time around her… or she made fun of Suzume-chan.

Thinking that I ought to go and thank Suzume-chan, I began to leave, turning my back to the person who had turned their back on me so long ago.

"Deidara-san," came a voice dulled by distraction. I stopped. "Take a look at the missions list again. Takumi-ue told me to tell you. I think that it's important… You still know the way, right?"

"Yeah, of course I do," I answered indignantly. Come on, it hadn't been _that_ long since I had completed a mission.

Tsukiko-sama said no more, so I quietly slipped away, picking up my sandals on the way out.

I stepped onto the porch, struggling for awhile with my footwear until I had it securely on again. Maybe I'd consider looking at the mission roster later.

I set out for Suzume-chan's house, my hands securely in my pockets. I had just remembered that I was still wearing the clothes from three days ago… And I had forgotten my gloves in my room, too. Ugh! I'd have to do the hands-hidden act all day 'till I went back home in the evening.

The Village Hidden Among Rocks was finally waking up, and people were filing out onto the streets to start their day. I was happy to be able to blend.

I was almost at Suzume-chan's house when I came upon Hisoka-san. My body immediately stiffened. He was just standing there some twelve meters from her stairs, not doing anything.

I approached him warily, intending to pass him by. I knew that he knew that I knew that he was watching me… (Read it a few times, it'll make sense.)

I pinched my eyes shut when he spoke suddenly.

"Hey, Deidara-san. You got a moment and… are you okay?" he studied my tense expression curiously. I stared at him, trying to decide how to answer.

He was a bit taller than me, with cold, grey eyes, and white/platinum blond hair that brushed his shoulders in sweeping locks. On that day he was wearing a very interesting black jumpsuit with red mesh underneath it. He always looked ready for action.

My mouth opened and closed several times, then I finally spat out the words,

"I… might have time… is it important?"

Hisoka-san nodded defiantly.

"Yes… It would seem that Suzume-san does not wish to speak to me right now. Could you please give her this?" He held out a folded piece of blank paper. I didn't take it.

"Were you waiting for me?" I asked suspiciously. Hisoka-san looked annoyed.

"Yes. I thought that you might come around eventually." He shook the paper impatiently.

I wasn't wearing gloves… no good…but if it couldn't be helped…

I reached out and took the note from Hisoka-san, trying my best to keep my palms facing down. Everyone knew, but I didn't care. Never… never… again…

Hisoka-san looked bored with my lack of confidence.

"Have a nice day, Deidara-san. I expect to see you soon." He left without waiting for a reply.

"What was that all about?" I wondered, as I climbed the stairs to Suzume-chan's house. "He can expect all he wants, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna let him see me… I hope that Suzume-chan isn't in the middle of a feud with him."

I knocked on the barrier still left up from that evening. There wasn't really a door, anyway. I gazed out at the village laid underneath me. It looked far more populated from my precarious position than it normally did. I could see just about all of the houses.

My thoughts were interrupted by the slap of bare feet hastily approaching. Suzume-chan appeared a moment later, her face flushed. A dangerous sign. Her eyes were narrowed, but they looked a bit less threatening when she had realized it was me.

"Where were you? I thought that you didn't want to go home… Hey, what's that?!" she pointed violently at the note held loosely between my fingers.

"I don't know, it's from Hisoka-san. But what happened? He was waiting around your stairs." I gave her a quizzical look.

Suzume-chan snorted angrily.

"He wanted to see my new jutsu. You know… the secret one… you're the only one who's seen it, but I bet he wanted to steal it for himself, or tell me that it wasn't good enough!" She crossed her arms. I didn't quite agree with her, but I held my silence.

"We need to show him up!" said Suzume-chan suddenly, as though hit with a revelation.

"WE?!" I interrupted, before she could elaborate.

"Yes, we." Suzume-chan turned her eyes to the floor. "It's been so long since we worked together. Pretty much ever since we became chunin. I miss those times." She looked confident now. "And you're my best friend, we're a team."

My eyes widened.

"Guilt tripping, now?" I asked warily.

"No, that's not how I meant it… Please, just one more time. We'll show Hisoka-san what we're made of, and you can earn some more money." Suzume-chan smiled, her eyes closing pleadingly.

"Hmm… Okay. I was going to look at the missions again eventually… Does this mean that we will be searching for something he's already signed up for?" I asked reluctantly. I wasn't looking forward to widening the fissure that separated me from Hisoka-san.

"Yep. Do you want to go now?" She obviously did, Suzume-chan was practically bouncing on her heels.

"Yeah."


	4. Iwaguchi san

**Iwaguchi-san**

We stood before the semi-circle of desks in the assignment office, feeling strangely solemn. We had watched a genin cell get some lame job, like cleaning up the rocks from the last night's storm, and finally it was our turn.

I approached the council of elders all seated 'round their slate tables with an expression of boredom. Suzume-chan assumed a look of reverence.

Before she could state her request, one of the older men, a one wrapped in bandages to hide his unattractive face, spoke up.

"Iwaguchi-san… haven't seen you in a blue moon. Had a change of heart?" he rasped.

Only those old farts ever called me "Iwaguchi-san", the made-up surname I had been given as a joke. My real one didn't belong to me, that's what Takumi-sama told me. So I had been given a last name that literally translated as "Rock Mouth". It was subject to some ridicule… no, never mind, A LOT.

"No, Sensei-shi," I replied simply. I knew that he was smiling under those bandages.

"We've come for a mission with Hisoka-san. Are there any available?" asked Suzume-chan, in a straight-forward way that some considered cute, while others, bold.

"Eh? Sakiyama, Hisoka-san?" a feeble woman croaked.

Suzume-chan nodded.

"Why do you wish to participate in a mission with him? It is not up to you two to pick and choose which assignments you are given," said the man who had first spoken, "And I never had the impression you were ones to want to work with him. Especially you, Iwaguchi-san, you didn't respond to our summons the last three times."

I blinked.

"We would like to learn more of Hisoka-san's fighting techniques," said Suzume-chan, faking uncharacteristic humility. "We would like to become just as good shinobi as he is. If we had time to learn from one another and get acquainted, we could become so much better."

"What? You're a perfectly fine ninja, Tsuchimaru-san. Maybe Iwaguchi-san could learn from Sakiyama-san, but I don't see much motivation," said the old man, slyly.

Suzume-chan looked to me for an excuse.

"I'm plenty motivated…" I started slowly. "I was…" I glanced at Suzume-chan. "I was in fact the one who recommended that we try this out." She bobbed her head, agreeing.

"Is that so?" said the bandaged one, his eyes looking unconvinced.

"Yes, Sensei-shi," we both spoke.

"Alright then…" said the old lady, breaking the silence. Sakiyama-san has been enlisted on a mission to Takumi village later next week. He and a few other chunin are to pick up the trade party we sent down there early this morning. Things can get dangerous on the route back. Carrying so many new weapons is like a beacon for trouble. If you accept, you and Sakiyama-san, among a few others, will be reinforcements. Do you accept?"

We both said "Yes" and signed the necessary forms. I was careful to keep my hands hidden the whole time. Then we were told we would receive a message in advance when we had to go. The bandaged one advised us to train for the remaining time. I didn't tell him that I was going to anyway.

I returned to Grandpa Takumi-sama's house later that evening; I had spent the remainder of the day talking with Suzume-chan about random stuff. Thankfully, Tsukiko-sama had left, though she had forgotten to turn the TV off.

I plopped down in front of it. The village's news was being broadcasted at that moment. A woman wearing very heavy mascara was telling everyone that the fall festival would be held on the 21st of October assuming that the weather permitted it. That was in three days. I thought that I might go with Suzume-chan… maybe… if she wasn't in a killer training mood.

"…And there will be fireworks and free food for all, so don't forget to mark your calendars for our annual celebration…" said the announcer, in an unenthusiastic voice.

I was pretty hungry now, so I slouched into the kitchen to make myself something to eat. I was about to open the cupboards when I saw the crumby dishes all over the counter… No… way… I yanked the fridge open, my eyes wide.

It was gone. She had eaten my cheesecake. And where had the rest of the food disappeared to? All there was were a few crusty bowls of thousand-year-old glazed roasted chestnuts. Had Tsukiko-sama hamstered it away to her house?!

Unbelievable… Even if she had taken the food away with the thought that I wouldn't be able to eat it all by myself in two weeks, I still couldn't go shopping this late at night…!

I looked in the cupboards and found a few condiments, but nothing to make a meal out of. I figured that I'd have to go grocery shopping first thing in the morning… Ugh… they were so expensive, too. There was hardly any produce that could be grown here. I doubted that the money Tsukiko-sama had left me would be enough to feed me for any longer than two days.

I stalked off down the hall to my room. I shoved the heavy door aside and was greeted by my familiar mess. Sketches, paint sets, a clay wheel, various types of styluses, an easel, and all sorts of random scraps of paper with battle strategies and inspirations written on them ALL over the floor, table, bed, any relatively flat surface. There were a few clay sculptures here and there, a picture of Suzume-chan and me on a black nightstand, and a record list of all my fights tacked to the grey wall. A big scroll with the Iwagakure symbol was posted above my black bed.

Well, what do you want? I was an artistic teenager, and in clutter I found security.

I swept some of the dust bunnies and papers off of the bed sheets, letting them fall to the floor however they pleased. Without getting into pajamas or anything, I tucked myself under the covers. I was too lazy to take my pony tail out. Too lazy to remove my forehead protector. I figured that the sooner I got to sleep, the less time I would have to spend feeling hungry. And slowly I drifted off, inhaling the dry scent of dust.


	5. A Day in the Life

**A Day in the Life...**

"Uhn… my stomach hurts… I'm… I'm starving…" I thought blearily. My eyes snapped open, though everything was blurry for a second or two. Same mess… same shorts and sweater from four days ago. I could smell them now.

Suddenly motivated, I sat straight up. I stared at a drawing of a hand on the floor. "Uh… gotta take a shower, get new clothes, gloves, go shopping…" I muttered distractedly. I pushed off from the bed and landed with a crunch onto the paper-strewn ground. I wandered out of my room and into the bathroom across the hall.

I brushed my teeth, all three sets, and took a quick shower. Then I got changed into my work outfit. It consisted of baggy, burgundy pants that only reached to above my ankles with netting under them, and an outrageous, yellow and orange striped shirt that tucked under my belt, with a short, black zip-up shirt over it. I wore my hardly used kunai pack on my right leg, and my headband was back in place again. I also decided to include my clay pouch in my attire, so I belted it onto my left hip. I tied my long, damp hair back into its ponytail, and not wishing to forget again, I grabbed a pair of well-worn black leather gloves off of my nightstand. I took the money left by Aunt Tsukiko-sama on the counter. Then, putting on my blank expression, I shot out the door at a sprint.

People swore at me as I pushed past them, but I didn't care; my hunger burned inside my gut like a fire in my soul. Nothing mattered but filling my belly. (A sort of scary notion.)

I veered off the main path onto a road to the left, my sandals skidding in the dirt.

Ha, there it was! The one and only warehouse grocery store in Iwagakure, probably the only one in the whole land of Earth.

I eagerly approached the open, garage-like doors, snatching a grimy shopping basket from a filthy stack of them. With the confidence I feigned so often, I strode into the store.

Whoops… that mask of indifference almost cracked as I saw the rows of food towering to the ceiling. I happily began snatching all sorts of random meals off of the gray shelves. I had almost filled my little plastic basket, when I remembered I could only take what I could pay for. Which wasn't much. I sadly replaced some of the fish crackers, and was about to make my way for the till on the other end of the store when I saw Suzume-chan a few aisles down. I was going to go greet her, but something else yanked my attention away.

I heard them before I saw them. Laughing obnoxiously, and knocking things off shelves, some of my acquaintances appeared around the corner, screaming in mirth. I couldn't call them friends, heck no. They had made my earlier years in the local ninja academy absolute torture. I didn't see them often anymore, but there they were…

I attempted to press myself into the shelf behind me, but in my hast to escape detection, I pushed some of the merchandise onto the concrete floor. The boxes of ramen fell to the ground in a spectacular crash that alerted almost every person in the building that I was there. I went pale as my peers turned their malicious faces in my direction.

"Hey, Iwaguchi…" Looked like the old people _weren't_ the only ones who called me that. "Haven't seen you in _forever_." I hoped that Suzume-chan would save me, but just as quickly dismissed that thought, imagining what they'd say to me if a girl had to bail me out.

I remained silent.

The gang of three boys and one girl came up to me, beginning to make a threatening circle around me. They all looked almost the same as they had years ago. Like clones with varying builds and hair colours, but all were wearing the same type of skin-tight purple spandex. Those faces I'd committed to memory were all smiling cruelly around me.

Hmm… If I just kept my head, and thought quickly, I'd be able to avoid physical conflict and outwit those buffoons yet again. I took a fortifying breath.

"Let's be frank, here…" I began quietly, "You guys can only beat me up so many times before I callous over. I'll eventually become immune to you, and where will be the fun in that, I wonder?"

They gave me a stupid and unimpressed look.

"Always liked your words, Iwaguchi. Think you can talk yourself out of everything. Even laid off the shinobi work, I heard," said the thick looking person directly in front of me.

"Not really, hmm…" I grunted.

"What? You don't do anything!" Jeered the girl, "It's probably because of these!" Without warning, greedy fingers grabbed my hand from behind, twisting it about sharply and pulling off the glove at the same time. I tried to snatch my arm away, but I was in an awkward position to do so. I struggled, knowing that everyone's eyes were on the palm-mouth.

"Touch it…" said a hushed voice, "I dare you!"

While they were distracted with one hand, I reached down to my kunai holster with the other. I changed my mind half way there, and instead slipped my hand into the clay pouch. I couldn't eat the clay or anything, but it would still be a better idea to try something with that rather than real weapons. I had a feeling that if bloodshed were to occur, that would be the last time I shopped in that store.

I gripped as much of the gooey substance as I could in my left hand. I felt the mouth on that hand desperately trying to get through the leather to the clay. The other one still hadn't been touched.

I heard a collective gasp, then I finally felt someone tapping on the teeth, and in one fluid motion, I drew my fistful of clay (while the mouth being hurt began to lick the offending person) and threw it squarely into the face of my captor. He let go almost immediately to wipe the stuff from his eyes, screaming incoherent curses. The others were still in a state of shock; they hadn't been expecting their prey to fight back.

Acting on instinct, I gathered most of my chakra to my feet and legs, and sprung thirty feet into the air. The rafters were suddenly right there beside me. I was starting to fall, but I reached for one of the thin metal bars holding the tent-like store up, and clung to it for all I was worth. Though I held onto the frame-work with both hands, it was still all I could do to stop the inertia started by my descent from pulling me back down.

After a moment of struggling, I finally managed to wrap my legs around the bar and climb up to sit on it. I nervously looked right, left, then above me to check how well I was supported. The skinny poles and beams were not meant for holding a person's weight. I observed that I only had a limited amount of time up there.

Meanwhile, down below my dangling feet, the gang was in a state of confusion and discord. I caught fragments of accusations, insults, and an overall confusion as to where I had gone. I smiled to myself, taking pleasure in their idiocy. There was nothing better than thwarting the sluggish of mind…

The groupies seemed to have decided that it didn't really matter where I had went, because they began to retreat from the building. They knew that someone might have noticed their hostile activity by now… Ah, which meant that I should get down too.

I prepared myself for what I knew was next.

The frame shook as I shoved off from the bar and began my freefall. Short and sweet, but not the same as flying; I hit the concrete without incident. The few people that were shopping near my landing site parted to walk around me at a good distance.

When I straightened I saw Suzume-chan strolling sedately up to me. She didn't really look surprised to see me falling from the rafters. She had a preoccupied air around her.

Humming quietly, she picked up my shopping basket from where I'd unknowingly dropped it, and handed it back to me. She held a small paper bag in the crook of her left arm; whatever she'd been shopping for.

"Nice stuff, Deidara-kun," she said smugly, "You've already started your training, I see."

We headed back to the row of tills, practically the only people left in the warehouse. My missing glove was nowhere in sight.

I put my purchases on the conveyor belt of till #8, while a cranky looking woman scrutinized me.

"Ah-hah, yeah right…" I muttered, scratching my nose disconsolately. Suzume-chan glanced at me, a question in her eyes.

"Does that mean you're not up for a bit of real training today?"

"Uh…"

The woman manning the till had scanned everything now, and was looking to me for some sort of money. I handed her _all_ of the cash Tsukiko-sama had given me.

"You never want to train, do you?!" said Suzume-chan, exasperated.

The woman took some of the meatballs I had selected and threw them into a bag under the counter.

"Uh… Yeah… you should already know that, hmm?"

Suzume-chan gave the irritable looking lady some more money, and she retrieved the meatballs. I gave Suzume-chan a thankful smile. She raised an eyebrow.

"Oh well…" she sighed, "But you will tomorrow, right? Train with me, I mean." We left the checkout behind and made for the exit.

"Yeah, alright… Oh, and speaking of tomorrow, do you want to go to the fair thing with me? I just want to see the fireworks… you know… maybe buy a few… again…" I queried casually. Suzume-chan burst out laughing,

"And-and blow your aunt's plants up again?!" she choked.

I grinned maniacally.

"Yeah, that would be fun, wouldn't it?" We left the store behind us, chuckling crazily.

Suzume-chan and I walked together for awhile longer, then we split our separate ways at the intersection.

I jogged home feeling unnaturally happy. I had food, and I had a friend. That was all I needed to cheer myself up. I ate well, watched some more TV 'till 3:00 a.m., then was off to bed in a jiffy. A day well spent. But as I nodded off, I wondered what tomorrow would bring and if… I had really been lucky or clever that day.


	6. Within Becomes Without

**Within Becomes Without**

"Hmm… take the carving course… yeah… Ouch, that hurts! Pain. NO, IT'S AGONY."

"Just shut it…"

"I need a reason… too long… in the dark…"

"And who cares? Well, it's not you… don't kid me!"

"Give it time… yeah… Not hard, right? It's all fleeting… in that moment of…"

I sat up straight, sweat pouring down my back. I had heard something… Or had I dreamed it? Had those words come out of my own mouth? I couldn't remember… I didn't even know if that had happened… But what was that?! Argh!

I swept some of the papers off my nightstand, searching feverishly. A warm digital clock surfaced from among the rubbish. Its red display told me that it was 2:00… in the afternoon.

I had forgotten about my promise to Suzume-chan. I really shouldn't have stayed up so late… Shunting all thoughts of my nightmare aside, I got ready for the day as fast as I could. Without pausing to brush or tie my hair up, I sped from the house, a bag of chips in my gloved hands.

Suzume-chan usually trained in the little grounds of the ninja academy on weekends. And it was Saturday, so that was my first choice of places to search.

I took a shortcut, slipping behind the house and past the Tsuchikage's headquarters. I cut through the barren gardens, figuring that it didn't really matter if I trampled on the long-dead flowers. The academy wasn't far ahead.

I was just about to break away from the wall and back onto the sidewalk at the front of the building when I heard a great fuss ahead. I slowed my pace, not wanting to be reprimanded.

"…Ah, yes… Tsuchikage-sama is going to come… I finally convinced him!"

"…No… you seriously didn't…!"

"Yes, I did! I told you that I was persuasive…"

The voices began to die away, accompanied by fading footsteps. They didn't belong to shinobi. If they had, I would have been discovered.

I burst from the undergrowth, treading on the crunchy vines. I didn't really care about what was on the Tsuchikage's agenda; I was late!

I tore past some more corners and arrived at the school buildings. It really was a good day to be there. The little snots had school on Saturdays, but I didn't see a single one of them. Maybe they had already had lunch?

I threaded between two separate classrooms, the field finally coming into view. It was open for anyone to use and not very different from anywhere else in Iwagakure. Dusty, dirty, covered in pebbles, sliding steel perimeters, and varying sizes of stones shoved to the rectangular corners; it was pretty normal. Except for the floor; it was comprised of large, flat rocks cemented together to form a smooth surface. There were white lines drawn across it; they showed the distance between you and an enemy or object, and indicated movement paths. It wasn't the best training ground for soft landings, but the teachers of Iwagakure had a firm belief in toughening students up.

I spotted Suzume-chan immediately. She was sitting with her back against the fence; faithfully waiting. She looked as though she had dozed off, but when I approached, her head snapped up. I was greeted by an icy glare. I had expected no less.

"Should I even bother asking where you were? I know I didn't tell you what time to come… But honestly, you should have some sort of notion of punctuality!" she snapped.

I was silent.

"The one time I ask you to show up and just train, you blow it!" She started to get to her feet. "I'm not asking for that much, am I? And what's this? Chips for lunch?! How can you expect to be in top condition?" She began to advance. "Oh… why do I bother?" A hard gleam had appeared in her eyes. "We're going to show Hisoka-san, no matter what!" Suzume-chan suddenly lunged at me, kicking up clouds of dirt. A fist appeared very close to my face, but my quick reaction-time saved me. I did a limbo-like bend, narrowly avoiding a broken nose.

"I guess this means we're still going to train then, hmm?" I leapt backwards, trying to gain as much ground as possible. The empty bag of chips was forgotten.

"You let down your guard!" I heard Suzume-chan's voice call out triumphantly. "Pay attention, Deidara-kun!" The dust she had stirred up hadn't cleared yet. I knew that meant that she must be initiating her secret jutsu. The one she didn't want Hisoka-san to steal. But I already knew what it was.

I hopped to the fence, positioning myself twenty feet up its height. I clung to the unstable wire, searching below me. I was a long-range fighter and didn't wish to get into a hand to hand combat situation amidst the blinding dirt. I also knew that while I focused on finding her in the confusion, she would probably use a ground based jutsu to catch me from underground. Pretty much all of the Iwagakure shinobi had an aptitude for earth jutsus; even I used them when it was necessary. But she would be expecting me to go for a higher position, so I would have to anticipate an attack from closer by. And I'd be ready for her when she got impatient.

My hand snaked down into my kunai holster. I had prepared a number of fake explosive tags for our training last night. They were strictly for mock battles and presented no danger whatsoever, except for smelling bad when triggered. I took four out, hiding them between my fingers. I pretended to reach for a more secure spot farther down the fence, instead pasting a tag onto the bottom of my right sandal.

The cloud was slowly rising. It reached my feet, then billowed past them, engulfing me in choking dust. I hadn't been expecting that. I held on, though, not wanting to make the first move, besides signing tora and trying to dispel the fog-like dirt. It worked to some degree, and just as I was about to try again, I heard the faint whistling of air passing over a rapidly approaching object. Above me! Now was the moment I had been waiting for.

I let go of the chain fence, beginning a backwards dive to the earth below. My loose hair blew wildly about my face. I put my hands up mid air, feigning a block on Suzume-chan's rapidly approaching foot. Instead I grabbed it, using her momentum to pull her body down to my height.

Tag number one was deposited on her ankle.

She tried to punch me and succeeded, grinding her fist into my stomach. I slapped her hand away.

Tag number two.

Now I reached out for her other arm, tightening my hold on it and forcing her down below me.

There went Tag number three.

When she was underneath me, I pulled my arms and legs together, gaining speed. My right leg extended, my foot following after it, making contact with her hip and sending her spiraling down to the earth.

Tag number four was now planted.

But I hadn't been prepared for her fighting back. She had gained a hold of my leg after I had kicked her, causing me to be pulled into her rapid plummet. Red and blonde clashed, swirling slowly.

We both fell quickly, and although this had taken place in only a few seconds, we were already at the ground. We hit the stone with a painful crunching sort of thud. It sounded like something had been broken. The breath had been knocked out of me, but both of us scrambled to our feet.

"Got you!" Suzume-chan gasped. She started a complicated serious of ninjutsu signs. The dust suddenly faded. From the corner of my eyes I saw the rocks on the arena's edges begin to stir. They started to rise a few inches above the ground, swaying menacingly. They gained velocity, hurtling towards me. This was her unnamed jutsu. It was the reason she needed me to be lower down. She didn't yet have the strength to lift the bigger boulders higher. The dust had been a distraction, a genjutsu; it was part of her technique. She hadn't perfected it yet, but she could do considerable damage with the smaller stones.

"Heh… Game over…" I muttered. I performed tora, bellowing the command, "Katsu!!" The explosive tags on her arms, leg, and waist went off, issuing copious amounts of black smoke that smelt like plaster. Suzume-chan coughed and lost her concentration. The levitating rocks and pebbles fell to the stone mere feet from me.

"Yeah… You let your guard down, Suzume-chan…" I said triumphantly. "You'd be dead if those were real." She ripped the fake tags off angrily, ignoring me.

"Why does it still not work?!" she said through gritted teeth, "Was all of that training for nothing?"

"Hmm, no!" I cut in, "You were doing fine; all you needed to do was _pay attention_, okay? If you had not gotten so close to me and just waited for an opening…"

"Then I'd have just been stuck sitting there waiting for you to come down!"

"Well, you're a talented person, you don't need to rely just on that jutsu… and what are kunai and shuriken for after all?" I mused.

"Ha! Nice coming from you!" she scoffed. "And anyway… the whole point of this exercise was to hone that jutsu… so…"

"Ah, just let it go for now… Besides, I already knew your style beforehand," I yawned.

"Ugh! I knew yours, too! I know that you don't like close range fighting, I know that you use tags most of the time! You keep telling everyone that you have no fighting style, but you do," Suzume-chan protested.

"I have no jutsu… hmm," I mumbled sullenly.

"So what? You still beat me! You didn't even need one!"

"That's only because I was willing to take a few hits. To win, one must sacrifice sometimes," I stated simply. "Now can we just get over this?"

"Argh, you know I don't like to lose! I need to find out why."

"Yeah, well, neither do I. And if you win, who's the loser then?" I began to turn away. "Someone has to lose. It could just as easily have been me. One move can sometimes tip the scales."

"How can you be so… okay with that?" she asked, disbelievingly.

"I'm not!" I snapped impatiently. "Let's go… The festival should be starting soon." I said, taking note of the darkening sky. I knew that she was going to pursue the conversation, but we both fell silent when we noticed the people outside the arena.

A crowd of kids from the academy, two or three of the older chunin teachers, and one shinobi who I was certain was a jounin were all gawking at us from behind the fence. Well, the little kids were gawking, anyway. Right away I checked to see if my gloves were still on… which must have looked kind of strange. I hoped that they hadn't heard our entire conversation, but that was doubtful as our voices had risen considerable. Suzume-chan flushed and I paled as we walked through the gates of the training grounds and into the group of waiting spectators.

"That was sooo awesome!" squealed a little girl, "I never knew that you could fight like that Suzume-senpai!"

"It wasn't that special…" huffed her companion, an angry looking boy, "I expected more from her… Letting _him_ beat her… sad… His taijutsu is lousy."

I shoved past the snotty one, saying loudly,

"Shiny new headbands shouldn't crow so loudly." I stared down my nose at him. "Oh, wait… I didn't see; you don't even have a forehead protector." The kid turned maroon, and glanced away from my piercing gaze. I was glad he didn't notice how nice my headband looked… then one might be able to call me hypocritical.

"Hey, you there, pick up your garbage!" shouted one of the teachers.

"What?" I asked pointing at my chest.

"You, you left a wrapper on academy property," barked the same chunin. I'd forgotten about my empty chip bag. I was about to go back when the same little girl who idolized Suzume-chan ran out in front of me and hastily brought the rubbish to me. She looked up at me with big brown eyes.

"Uh… thanks…" I mumbled, raising an eyebrow. She looked positively overjoyed. Why would someone be happy to help me?

"You should have let him pick it up, Shira-san! How will he ever learn…?" said a disapproving sensei. A flash of irritation stirred within me. I didn't consistently litter, and come on; I had only forgotten the stupid garbage because I had been attacked…

We made away from the training grounds as fast as we could… neither of us were keen on listening to the others talk about us. Or really, Suzume-chan didn't want to watch me eavesdrop… Yeah, that was probably the true issue.

The whisperings of our battle died away… and with them, the temptation to hear them word for word. Soon a new sound, a din of boisterous laughter and excited chatter rose up. I thought that the academy kids had probably been here during most of the fight, maybe on a field trip, because the fall fair was already in full swing. I surveyed the street ahead of us.

Paper lanterns hung from strings spanning from rooftop to rooftop. They cast a dim light on the tables ladened with food and fruit punch, and the happy people below. Some of them wore traditional clothing and masks, but most of the crowd looked like shinobi.

"Expensive," had been my first thought. "I wonder if the food really is free…" I briefly saw the Tsuchikage's triangular hat sticking out of the masses of colour before Suzume-chan stepped in front of my field of vision.

Then I felt angry again. Anything she did would set me off that night. I was particularly short-tempered now. I stepped around Suzume-chan, striding away quickly. I was going for the fireworks tent. They wouldn't be set off 'till midnight. The tradition was to use EVERY single one of them, but if I paid enough, I'd break that ritual again for my own purposes. I looked up at one of the many ornaments hanging around the streets. There was bound to be a clock somewhere…then… I couldn't miss it. I spotted an elaborate one set into an arch above the Tsuchikage's chair… hmm, throne, I mean. All of that origami and frilly paper couldn't be called an ordinary seat anymore. The decadent clock told me it was 7:00. Whoa, where had the time gone? I was pretty sure that the clock wasn't set properly… I couldn't have spent five hours training… No, that wasn't possible… Maybe it was my clock that wasn't on time… Yeah… It might have been way later than 2:00 when I got up… No wonder Suzume-chan had been ticked.

I briefly acknowledged that she was still following me. I wove between the confusing tangle of bodies, leading the way to the set-up I hoped was still there.

We rounded a bend to be greeted by the circus-like tent towering over the proceedings. Its peak loomed imposingly over the celebration. I pushed my way past a few men who looked like they had had too much sake, pausing at the brightly coloured entrance. I twisted my neck around to check if Suzume-chan was coming. She narrowed her eyes and shook her head.

"I'll wait outside, thanks," she pouted. I felt a twinge of guilt. Then just as quickly, self-righteous indignation flared up. I had helped put her in a bad mood, but she had also picked at my patience. I really wanted to be _congratulated_ on a win, not mocked and reprimanded. A guy could only take so much of being told off, unless he was made of stone.

I reached into my pocket groping around for some money. I felt something papery and pulled out not a bill, but a folded piece of paper.

"Huh?" I accidentally grunted.

"What?" Asked Suzume-chan, looking over my shoulder.

"Uh… It's nothing, hmm," I replied hastily. It was the note from Hisoka-san. Suzume-chan had never taken it from me; she had forgotten about it in her fury. I had NO idea how it had gotten into the pocket of the pair of pants I had worn the day after receiving the note. Memory totally betrayed me at that moment. I wasn't going to give it to her.

Before Suzume-chan could retort, I pulled back the flap of the tent and left her, hoping she'd forget about the subject by the time I got back.

The fireworks tent was amazing… The vibrant explosives were almost piled to the ceiling. They spilled out of new crates in an unhindered flow. It made me giddy just looking at them, even in their static state. There was, of course, a guard inside. Seeing her again made me laugh. The security was just as terrible as last year. If someone threw a cigarette into the tent… The thought gave me a sick rush of adrenaline.

"I was wondering if you'd show again," said the mousy haired kunochi in a honeyed tone. Bless her, she was naïve. A few bucks and I could have my own private festival.

"Hey… Uh, you know what…?" I queried casually, digging in my pockets again. "I'm a little strapped for cash at the moment… So…" I stalled.

She stared at me.

"I… Hmm, can I pay you back later…?" I tried not to look as desperate as I felt. If I didn't get the answer I wanted I seriously considered knocking her out and making away with as much as I could carry… but that wouldn't really work. I was guaranteed to be noticed. Hmm, yeah, some teen with a rep for being a pyre-maniac carrying a bundle of explosives away into his little hideout wouldn't be conspicuous in the least!

The guard took a long time to reply.

"How… will you get back to me when you've got the money?"

"Ah… I will find you… How 'bout you wait outside the Zawaike clan's street three weeks from now, hmm?" I offered cheerfully. She agreed, then told me how much she was going to charge for each firework. The prices all depended on the size and grandeur of the firework in question, and were all over the cost of store-bought ones. But I kept my mouth shut, reminding myself that there wasn't a fireworks store in Iwagakure.

It didn't take me long to fill a large cloth bag the girl had given me with fireworks. I struggled between the final choice of a battery of Roman Candles and a particularly large finale cake. I chose the finale cake, knowing that I was dedicating myself to a couple months of forced missions.

I exited out of the back entrance of the tent, trying to be more discrete. Suzume-chan was waiting outside; she already knew the route for my more dodgy excursions.

Analyzing the bulging sack I dragged behind me, she said dryly,

"I'm not paying for that."

"I know," I said unpleasantly. "I'll just have to work it off!"

"You couldn't have just waited an hour or so to buy those, eh?"

"Why, does it really matter?"

"Yeah, I'm hungry… And I would not look too good with you at the buffet table" Suzume-chan groaned.

"Well, go get me something then. I'll wait here, hmm." I pulled the sack into the darkness of a nearby alley, then sat down beside it. "Something like oden or yakitori, please."

I got no answer from Suzume-chan as she disappeared into the crowd, and would have considered myself lucky if I got any food at all.

I sat alone in the shadows with my bag of explosives. I felt pretty numb. But somewhere just beneath the surface of my blankness, there was a seething mass of guilt and anticipation. I was subconsciously planning what to do with my purchases, and wondering why I felt so bad about Suzume-chan's mood.

Then out of the milling crowd of bodies, Suzume-chan reappeared with a steaming tray of oden. She plopped down beside me; handing me a bowlful of the stew. Mine had chicken and lettuce in it. Hers contained beef and carrots. We were so different.

"Huh?" I thought to myself, "Where did that come from… Oden is merely a taste difference, hmm. I must be going crazy from all that exercise."

But then, as I noisily slurped the broth from a plastic spoon, it occurred to me that stew was the least of our boundaries. I was reserved half the time, an almost total introvert, who faked a true self in front of just about everybody I knew. Suzume-chan was a total extrovert. She wasn't afraid to be out in the open; there was nothing she wasn't sure of. She could be stubborn and pig-headed sometimes, but she was loving.

We finished our dinner in about fifteen minutes. Well, Suzume-chan did, anyway; it took me five minutes to inhale the whole serving and go back for more while she guarded my fireworks. We were both feeling warmer towards each other, so we talked some more. The next time I looked up at the Tsuchikage's clock, it was only two minutes to midnight. I broke out in one of my wide grins.

"Let's go up!" I said looking to Suzume-chan. "The fireworks start real soon!"

"Alright, don't get yourself into a knot. You want to go on a rooftop?" she asked knowingly.

"Yeah, hmm, come on!"

I turned my shining face skywards. From between the rooftops of the alley the stars could be seen faintly as small pinpricks in the black canvas of the night. I bent my legs, forcing chakra to them instinctively, and then rocketed upwards at a slight angle, landing softly with my bag on the steel. Suzume-chan followed. We crouched down, keeping our dark forms small and still. I began to sweat all over. This was pretty much the climax of _every_ year for me.

Then… too soon, no, not quickly enough… The first cone erupted far below! It shot plumes of sparks four feet into the air.

Then more! The real ones. The fireworks that spiraled high into the evening then burst into showers of fiery brilliance! Their beauty, fleeting yet eternal. Burned into my memory like a saudering iron. The result of hours of painstaking labor and dedication. And here they would come to fruitation; they were made for the moment… for THE EXPLOSION!!!

The fireworks always brought out a strange side of my personality. They woke the dormant beast living within the dark confines of my suppressed self. The frightening, alien part of me. It was always amazing, the feeling of joy and awe brought out by the display, and the way I could almost… if just for a moment, stop pretending I was totally sane.

The flashes of light illuminated my pale face, causing my eyes to glow. There was nothing at that moment. Just me and the explosion… the BANG!!! My expression twisted into a look of maniacal enjoyment. An obsession with the death of the masterpieces falling from the sky in splinters and fragments of cardboard and plastic. That's what the fireworks were doing. They were dying. From nothingness their materials were put together and back to nothingness they would go. Worthless while immobile, worthless when gone. They were propelled to their brief glory for seconds, and then robbed of everything they had become. I needed it. THIS WAS ART.

I hardly paid any attention to the girl beside me. The one watching me warily. My best friend; forgotten in my moment of passion. Suzume-chan was nothing to me then. She wore an air of indifference… but beneath the surface, a dislike and terror of the state the fireworks had put me in. She thought it was temporary. She hoped so… But we didn't realize… that the side of me kept inside for so long wouldn't resurface for just a brief while. It would in time… become me. The explosion would be my life.

* * *

**AN**: This chapter marks one of the turning points in Deidara's personality and behaviour. I put all of that pointless blithering earlier so you could get a feel of what he was like and how he normally behaved. (And because I felt like it, ahaha...) Oh, and a few details that will become paramount in later chapters! 


	7. Mechanisms

**Mechanisms **

The next few days were a blur of torn emotions and pain. I fought a constant internal battle. A small side of me was rapidly disappearing. It was the part of me that wanted to make amends with Suzume-chan and go back to living in a passive, scheduled way. The main struggle that had me locked in pieces was my art. I was suddenly distraught with it. It wasn't good enough. There was NO MEANING to it! I destroyed almost everything I had made, and locked myself into the house for days at a time. I ate just about nothing and slept for only minutes at a time; there was no point in getting more money from Tsukiko-sama. I felt angry at myself and everybody else. My promise to have a new jutsu in two weeks was almost completely forgotten.

I sat alone on my bed, cross-legged. It had been two full days since I had watched the fireworks on Saturday night. I had a satchel of clay in front of me, and was attempting to shape the cold material between my fingers. No matter what I did, it never turned out right.

I fed my right palm-mouth some more clay. It swished it around for a bit, then spat the substance out. I clenched my fist over it, working the slimy material between my fingers and the mouth's tongue. When I relaxed my hold on the now warm matter, a whole spider was revealed. I had admittedly gotten better at sculpting. I didn't have to make parts or bits and pieces anymore. I could do it faster, too. It was the result of finally being able to dedicate myself to art and only art. But it still wasn't satisfactory. It needed something more.

I looked up slowly, turning my gaze to the table opposite my bed. My collection of fireworks had been stacked carefully in front of the one and only blinded window. The remnants of the ones I had dissected lay in organized piles of plastic, cardboard, fuses, perchlorate, gunpowder, and various other components. I had even taken out a few of the highly volatile stars and stored them in airtight containers. I aimed to understand the art of explosion… so I could make it mine.

My mind had been toying with the notion of fusing my art with explosives for quite awhile, but I hadn't yet figured out how. I had tried mixing a few of the more fickle explosive powders with my clay, I went as far as to embed stars in my work. I had then proceeded to test my experiments in front of Aunt Tsukiko-sama's house. On her canyon shrub. The result had been… destructive… And that moment… THAT WAS ART!! I saw something beautiful in my creations when they were wiped out just like that. But it wasn't perfect. They were terribly inconvenient to throw and were unpredictable as to when they would go off. They were also too… static…

I stared at a tin of black powder, not focusing on it. I… needed… to find a way to get my art around… it needed to move… If I could make it… transport itself, one piece of my artistic puzzle would finally fit. If it could move… the restraints would be taken off, then… I would find a way to make it blow up.

And then it hit me. I could still create a jutsu… and one that even I would enjoy. If I could find a way to incorporate art in my ninjutsu… if art _was_ my ninjutsu! The thought made me shiver reverently. Maybe… it was just wishful thinking…? I mean, I was going against my credo of art being totally the opposite of all things ninja. I looked down at my quivering hands, shaking from fatigue and hunger. A sudden revelation jolted my brain. It was so simple… could it really work?

I reached for the clay spider I had made a few moments ago… then a sharp rapping noise rent through the tension, causing my arm to drop tiredly. I sat in a quiet stupor. No one had called for awhile.

"Uh oh…" I groaned.

The short jaunt I had risked outside yesterday, the one that had involved the demise of my aunt's garden, had finally been noticed.

"Hello, hello…?! Deidara-san, are you there?!" Tsukiko-sama's voice squealed shrilly from behind the locked front door. I made no move to get up.

"Deidara!!" Now she was really mad. When she dropped the honorary she had granted you, it was a very bad sign.

None of the lights were on, so I figured that if I held still long enough she might give up and go home, thinking I wasn't there.

The sound of my aunt's footsteps stopped. I could no longer hear her pacing the length of the porch. I was about to pick up from where I had been interrupted when I remembered… she had a key. Takumi-sama would have left one with her, of course… How else would she have gotten into the house to watch TV and eat food… unless she had really spent the night there… Ha, I'm not going into that…

Well… now that I couldn't avoid her outright, I'd have to do something sneaky to drive Tsukiko-sama away. I… supposed that I could also test out my theory at the same time.

I picked up the spider I had dropped. It was nothing more than a model, a sculpture. It was line-work, matched to two-dimensional deformation. But…

The palm-mouth on that hand grinned suddenly. It poked its tongue out, prodding the clay.

I glared at the arachnid.

"Are you… going to blow me away…? I wonder…" I whispered to it.

I focused. I felt the burning strings of chakra snake up my arm to my hand. I pinpointed what I intended to be a small amount of the energy into the tongue. Next I transferred it to the spider, injecting chakra into the clay. I waited. Then… the… ART, it moved! I had been right! If I added chakra I could give the clay life! Just like Suzume-chan had used chakra to hurl rocks at me.

The spider stirred drunkenly, its legs tapped feebly against my palm.

"What? You want more, hmm?" I crooned to it. More chakra was donated.

I didn't have much time left. Aunt Tsukiko-sama was probably almost inside the house by now. I pulled back the blind on my window, pressing my face against the cool glass. From my position I had an angled view of the front door. I saw the saggy woman's profile displayed against the waning light of dusk. She looked to be fumbling with a set of keys on a ring. How tacky. The keys fell from her uncoordinated fingers, hitting the floor with a loud cacophony of jingles.

"Oh, gosh darn it all!" she said, euphonizing what would have otherwise been a colourful use of adjectives.

I struggled with the hatch on my window, cracking it open a sliver as Tsukiko-sama bent down to retrieve her entrance pass. A rain of dead flies and beetles showered the porch; finally granted the freedom they had strived for 'till the end. I took that brief moment to stick my hand out into the open and flip it around, depositing my art on the deck. It came down on the boards with a muffled thump. I could feel the chakra I had given to the spider, though separate from me, I was still connected to my work.

"Come on…" I thought urgently. With my mind I spurred the little creature on. It raised itself up again, hesitating.

"Go."

It started twitching violently, then, as though steeling itself for the task ahead, it began an ungainly crab-walk away from my window. I had to control myself; I almost burst out in wild laughter at the sight. My art. That was my art. It was no longer grounded. The basis to take flight was now set.

Tsukiko-sama straightening gingerly, her hand going up to her back. As if in slow motion, her eyes looked down, then flicked to the left. Horror; absolute, sheer revulsion was written all over her cruel face when her gaze fell on my first true work of art.

"Ahhh…" she started to moan, then, "…AAAARRGGAAHH!!" Her anger was quickly replaced by fear and loathing.

Tsukiko-sama dropped the keys she had had such a hard time with, reeled about, and then careened off the porch.

My tiny creation kept tottering onwards. In my moment of sadistic joy I had lost my concentration on the spider, it was now sluggishly trying to climb a folded wind barrier.

"Come back here, hmm…" I chastised it gently. I focused on the familiar feel of my own distant chakra. "A bit faster, please…" My charge started an awkward retreat back to my waiting hand, then abruptly halted. Disappointment washed over me. What was wrong with it? I tried to invoke a response again, tugging mentally at it. The living sculpture swelled alarmingly, tripling in size.

"Geez, you aren't…" Then, without any further warning,

BANG!!

The spider burst into filigrees of charred clay in a spectacular display of ART. The blast's radius just managed to slightly scorch my arm. The delicate flakes of my labour brushed against the sensitive skin. The palm-mouth on that hand spluttered disturbingly. I was still in shock.

"What… just…?" I murmured incoherently.

Realization finally took hold. The corners of my mouth rose slightly, then I gave myself over to the emotion. Demented laughter broke forth from my lips. It was wonderful! THAT WAS ART!!

I pulled my arm back through the frame, still cackling deliriously.

"These burn marks…" I spoke feverishly, "They were caused by art! Aha… ha…"

I unlocked the front door, stepping out into the undulating fumes. I breathed them in, savoring their poison.

"Yeah… Still needs some perfecting… but…" I spoke disjointedly, too engrossed with my discovery to bother with making sense. "I… I've got it now… chakra… earth based… hmm…" I turned my insane face to the sky. And to think… Aunt Tsukiko-sama had been the inadvertent drive behind my revelation…!

"Aha ha ha! Thank you Auntie-sama! You thought that was art, hmm?! Well, next time I'm gonna show you a real masterpiece!" I cried brokenly, clapping my hands together. "Ouch…"

I conversed with myself for a little while longer, and then drew back into the house, picking up the discarded keys on the way. There was no doubt I wasn't going to be disturbed again… not at least for a few more days.

And after that… I'd show everyone that art… IS A BLAST!!

* * *

**AN**: I tried to come up with a decent explanation of how Deidara's bombs work in the next chapter. I think it sort of makes sense.

Too many of those exclamation marks... needa clean 'em up! (Never mind my whining... It just feels like I need some lame excuse for how... UGH these early chapters are...)

Nanaimo bars to you if you've made it this far! And... if you'd like, Wario will kiss you too. Don't hurt his feelings.


	8. Exposed

**Exposed**

Peace.

I had done it. The transient nature of art… of true art, it was mine. I could grasp it briefly, then watch it escape from my clutches. But that was what it was all about. Where would be the appeal if I could constantly go over and examine my work? It would lose its mystique, be open to analysis and scrutiny. And that was exactly what I didn't want. How boring constant, tangible destruction would be.

It had been a full week since I had watched the fireworks grace Iwa's night visage. Now I was ready. The research I had conducted in my grandfather's house had been highly extensive. I had concluded that I was the only person capable of my technique. For, when I checked on some diagrams from my old textbooks, I found that tenketsu points were positioned right inside the tongues of my palm-mouths where a normal person's flesh and sinew would be. Usually, when you release chakra it would have to go through way more muscle to come out of one's hands, but for me, my chakra only had a short way to go, and could therefore be more concentrated and pure. I suspected that my deformity probably included the tongue in my own head having a chakra release point. There was one tricky aspect to this, though. Having the tenketsu so close to the surface of my body could make them very vulnerable. If I wasn't careful, I could accidentally reverse the flow of chakra, causing it to totally shut off. However, I could also increase the amount of chakra generated, giving me varying grades of explosives.

Then I looked at my clay's qualities. It seemed that the stuff I got from my training grounds was incredibly dense. That explained why so little energy was needed to make it expand. Sure, I could make my art bigger with just chakra, which would mean I would be using chakra to fill in all of the gaps created by the molecules separating and spreading out. But because of how solid my clay was, I didn't need much chakra to create a giant from something miniscule. All I had to do was push the particles farther apart and create a less durable type of clay. Well, I could still make very potent bombs by adding extra chakra, but too much wouldn't bond with the element material. One of the few reasons my art jutsu worked was because the clay I used was an earth material. That led me to the hypothesis that I needed earth seals to make the clay perform to its full potential. I had been delighted to discover I was correct. But there I also found its one weakness; lightening. Someone capable of creating electric type chakra could easily diffuse my bombs. I wasn't too worried, though. Almost everyone in the land of earth could only use earth chakra. I was pretty sure that was true of even me.

Movement was no longer a problem. I just needed more practice. I also wanted to take my clay on a trial-run. I sought to see if the sky was no longer a limit. And if that was the case…

I loved my work with a manic passion. I named the new jutsu… Kibaku Nendo. Nothing special. It was simple and beautiful. Exploding Clay.

The blank edges of my artistic map were now filled in. All I had yet to do was utilize my theories.

So it was after much consideration, and an all-nighter spent reading a book on aerodynamics, that I left the house for the first time in days. I took what little clay remained from my last retrieval, a couple of matches, and a few of my dodgy fireworks that I hadn't yet dismembered. I stowed them all close to my person underneath the legs of my usual baggy pants and an old, loose, brown kimono I had found under my bed. I had explosives tied around my chest and any limb that didn't look conspicuous due to the added bulk. They rubbed threateningly against the thin net shirt I had on. It felt very odd; going out in public in this fashion, like a suicide bomber. But such feelings were hard to hold onto in my euphoric state.

People gave me odd looks, pausing in their daily activities to watch the boy with the mile-wide grin staggering awkwardly down the street. If any of them remembered how I had once been, uh, the week before, they wouldn't have recognized me. There were no longer gloves hiding my "unique" hands. I couldn't have cared less what anyone thought of me. I was consumed, totally inverted.

I didn't even look up as I passed under Suzume-chan's house. I was off to my training grounds, away from the prying eyes of contemptuous critics, and stupid people who couldn't fathom art. Nothing else mattered. Though… unconsciously my hand snaked down to my pants' pocket. The paper was still there. The one Hisoka-san tried to give to her. Nothing registered, because suddenly, before I could take the slip out to look at it, a voice was shouting to me. At me. I gazed up, fearing the inevitable.

Suzume-chan had appeared on her porch, a resolute expression written all over her face. I just stared at her, my smile slipping off like greased bacon. She didn't lunge at me or start a furious tirade; she merely stepped down the cracked stairs leading to her house and then walked up behind me. I held still; waiting for my punishment. Imagine my surprise when nothing happened at all. I tilted my head backwards slightly. Suzume-chan stood quietly, her emerald eyes cast to the earth.

"I'm coming with you. Whatever you were doing for the last _week_ must have been worth it." She looked up, her eyes brimming with tears. "I tried to talk to you… three times. You could have at least… opened the door…" I licked my lips nervously.

"… And now you won't even stop by… I thought that…"

Somewhere inside of me, a feeling of apprehension was beginning to rise up. It was numbed by the fog that obsession had clouded my mind with. I felt my conscience stir far beneath the surface.

It had been awhile.

I tried to say something, but was cut off before I could begin.

"I was really angry… with you," Suzume-chan murmured. "But then… I knew it was all my fault."

"What?" I thought; totally baffled. I staved off all of my questions and protests, listening nervously.

"It was so dumb of me to bug you, wasn't it? I should have just… signed up for that mission alone. I dragged you into it again." I was lost on what to say. I hadn't really thought of that. Even if she had pressured me into going on that mission, it was still no excuse for my behavior. The old side of me wanted to tell her she had done nothing wrong and that I was the one to blame, but the false extrovert baulked at the idea of admitting flaws. I wondered if it showed on my face; what was going on inside. Suzume-chan just stayed there, her hands drawn close to her mouth. She was trembling slightly. I wanted to flee the scene with every fiber of my instinct. Finally:

"I… I… it's okay." The innocent side of my being screamed at me; "Coward!"

"Oh… But, you know… that's not all I've done. I… talked to… uh…" Suzume-chan's voice trailed away. She blushed, flicking a strand of gleaming hair out of her eyes.

"No, it's okay, hmm." I wanted to steer the conversation out of those uncomfortable waters before my deep-seated guilt got the better of me. "Let's go. I suppose it would be good if you saw what I was… making." My own words disgusted me. Lies, lies, lies, that's all they were. I was avoiding my shortcomings.

I wasn't the only one glad to continue walking. Suzume-chan was also evidently relieved to be saved the necessity of explaining herself. I really should have let her continue. Later, I would regret interrupting her.

We traipsed uneasily through the rest of the village. Minutes later, we reached the two gloomy sentinels outside of my base. Suzume-chan watched me curiously as I attempted to shuffle between the rocks without touching them. I didn't want to bump anything and end up going off like a firecracker on Iwagakure Day. But how was she to know that? Still, she uttered not one complaint at the time it was taking me to crossover.

When we were both hidden from the rest of the world I threw off my overly-large kimono and began rolling up my pant legs. Suzume-chan's eyebrows shot up when she saw the fireworks I had been carrying. She started griped about them, but I wasn't paying attention. I couldn't maintain the patience I had been displaying previously. My conscience had buried itself again; I no longer remembered my culpability.

I carefully set up the rockets and cones in strategic positions, ranging most of them around the perimeter of the clearing. I put my ratty kimono back on when I was finished, glad that Suzume-chan hadn't noticed my scalded arm. With much deliberation, I reached into one of the two pouches at my side. Suzume-chan backed away.

"Don't worry," I said quietly. "Come here." She hesitated for a fraction of a second, then came closer. I let the mouth on that hand devour a fair amount of clay before I drew it back. I held my palm face-up to the overcast sky. I felt the thick, pasty material take shape underneath my closed fingers. I sent chakra through the tongue, binding the clay inexorably with my energy. I then cupped my left hand over the right one with clay in it before opening it. Suzume-chan gave me a bewildered look. I smiled, narrowing my eyes in concentration. I raised my arms slightly, and then with a sudden pitching motion, I threw a clay dove into the air. I initiated several hand seals and the bird's wings snapped open. It had been going into a headfirst dive to the slate, but sharply pulled out of it, coming to hover in front of my outstretched arms.

"Yeah… so I did get the feathers right, hmm." Suzume-chan just stared in open-mouthed astonishment at my creation. "I've got a jutsu now," I said slyly, watching for a reaction. She seemed to recover herself slightly.

"But, how? This is really pretty, Deidara-kun, but what do you do with it?" She glanced around at the fireworks I had set up. "You can't possibly be thinking about using those…?"

"Nah, I just wanted to set them off before Takumi-sama came back. They're less noticeable during the day… and besides… I've got something much more impressive now." Suzume-chan sat down on my favourite rock, crossing her arms. She was clearly ruminating over the fuss we had gone through to smuggle the fireworks, and how I was now just going to sacrilegiously set them all off.

The dove landed on my right shoulder as I began to rummage through my pockets for the matches I had brought along. My fingers brushed past the crumpled paper again, but I always seemed to be in the wrong company when I repeatedly rediscovered it. I found a match and pulled it out.

"Blow them away… hmm," I addressed the bird quietly, turning to the rockets surrounding us. I struck the red tip on a nearby stone. The match sputtered to life; hissing menacingly. I held it briefly against the fuse of a cone, and then ran past it, setting all of the fireworks on the perimeter of the clearing aflame. Suzume-chan had gotten up and situated herself in between the entrance boulders.

"So…" I panted, running into the center of the circle. The first bunch I had ignited took off, whistling shrilly. "…Given the estimated trajectory and velocity of these…" The fireworks rose rapidly, more joining their ranks by the second. "…And the average apogee of a standard rocket…" The cones were now spraying vibrant sparks of colour around me. They crackled and sang merrily, flying hither and thither past me. I vaguely heard Suzume-chan yelling something in the background. "… All of my research indicates that this will be fast enough…!" I reconnected with the bird on my shoulder, spurring it into an almost vertical ascent. Wings whipped past my ear, then flew ahead. My little dove hurtled towards the converging fireworks.

My hands dipped back into the pouches at my side, greedily trying to satisfy their insatiable appetite for clay. When I was finished with the new chunks, I released two more birds; both swans. They flitted ahead of the slower dove; rapidly approaching the rockets. Now was it; the moment of truth. With a thud, four rockets hit each of the streamlined swans. They stuck out grotesquely like bloated acupuncture needles in my delicate creations. The first bird I had made, the dove, continued past the struggling swans. I made the sign for "ram", and far above my head the two birds detonated at the same time, causing the fireworks embedded within them to explode.

Colour… Neon blues, golden yellows, sparkling reds, poisonous purples, untarnished silvers, florescent greens, so many wonderful hues of light broke across the cloudy sky, their brilliance unfettered by the sickly light. And among the gorgeous display of festivity was my art. That whole moment's purpose had been to signify that my work… was now true. It was the paramount of that explosion, the trigger. It was something bigger than the fireworks… more important.

The dove's presence was becoming harder to distinguish within my inner turmoil. The moment that I had given my creations their transient glory, I had felt a part of me, my chakra die along with them. I loved the sensation. It brought me even closer to the true nature of art…

And I knew then and there… that was the way I was going to die.

Amidst the chaos and tendrils of my fading chakra, I finally found the dove; its healthy, borrowed energy still intact. A saying sprung to my mind again as I tenderly brought my hands together for the finale.

"Art… is a bang!" The explosion caused by the dove thundered through the air, rattling my eardrums. Its illuminating power overcame all of my senses, totally enveloping me within a mental cocoon of warmth and blinding light. The moment lasted all too briefly, and then it was gone. Only smoke and acrid fumes remained; a mere shadow of their former glory. I could no longer contain my ecstasy. I found myself writhing in demented mirth again.

Suzume-chan watched me uncomfortably. No one could relate to the "bang" moment as I could, and I didn't care to share it anyway.

My sides shuddered tensely as I tried to restrain the convulsions of glee. I really had to get a hold of myself; else I'd never be able to focus in battle.

A sharp "Crack!" suddenly caused me to look up from my crouching position. I finally noticed the other boy standing slightly behind Suzume-chan. A boy with silvery hair who observed my hysterics with an impassive expression that suggested he had no interest to spare for me or my art whatsoever. The sheet of slate he had been resting on had broken. I guess he was only good at appearing stoic, because when Hisoka-san spoke up; his voice carried all of the emotion that was missing on his face.

"What…" he paused, massaging the bridge of his nose. "…What in Earth have you been doing?" His words came haltingly, as though they couldn't quite convey his surprise. I cocked a yellow eyebrow.

"What's it to you, hmm?" I had righted myself at this point and had now crossed my arms one over the other; all blitheness forgotten. "I'm not telling you a thing," I said, backpedaling my focus on to Suzume-chan. She had put a hand up to shield her eyes from a non-existent sun-beam.

"I'm not here to steal your secrets, if that's what you think," said Hisoka-san, with more than a little bit of indignation. He had hit it dead on. I jerked my head back in surprise. Suzume-chan blanched, but I wasn't paying attention. "I've come to give you the date and exact coordinates for the beginning of mission 5075."

"Eh…?"

"The mission involving the safe transport of weapons from Takumi village back to Iwagakure."

"Oh… Well, spit it out, hmm," I cried impatiently. Hisoka-san looked taken-aback by my newly found confidence. I'm sure that's what he mistook it to be… but it was really the total affinity for my art that rendered any other petty emotions as unimportant. There was no room to be embarrassed or polite.

"Well, the first party was sent to Takumi on the 19th of October. Their estimated arrival date back here is in approximately two weeks, assuming it will take a few days to go through the Land of Earth. If we are to assist them after they cross the border, we have to leave on Monday, the 30th. That is what the council of elders have ordered of us. We are to congregate at the main entrance at 6:00 in the morning." Hisoka-san ended his speech with a sanctimonious nod in my direction.

"Fine," I said huffily. "Is that all?"

"Actually…" said Hisoka-san, delicately moving Suzume-chan aside and stepping down into the clearing. "…Now that I've seen them… those are some pretty interesting explosives you're using." I resisted the temptation to shout out that they weren't just any old explosives… they were art! "You used to use tags, correct?" he inquired.

"Yeah." When Hisoka-san was level with me he glanced at my hands. I knew he was calculating, trying to figure out exactly what I had done. He looked down at me, steely eyes pinning me in an inscrutable stare.

"You want to test out that new jutsu? It may be good in theory and… for playing with illegally bought fireworks, but how about in practice?"

"You wanna fight me?" I smirked. "This art won't go easy on you. …There is no smoke and... absolutely no illusions."


	9. Turning Tables

**Turning Tables**

Beneath my outward distain, I couldn't believe him. Did he want to show off, or something? Why did Hisoka-san figure that he had to oppose me? It was very… unlike him.

"If you win… I won't tell anyone about your clandestine firework fun," said Hisoka-san, taking off the jacket he had been wearing over his jumpsuit. His muscled arms rippled threateningly through the silky, black material. Even through a vest Hisoka-san had on, even through his uneven length cargo pants, he was still clearly formidable. He was wearing a lot of belts with shinobi equipment hooked on every leather surface. But by my figuring; the more stuff you needed to take with you, the less competent you were fighting without it. A minimalist approach was my standard. Take the bare essentials.

"Any rules you want to declare before we begin?" I said indifferently, pretending not to hear Hisoka-san's last comment.

"Yes, I think so. How else would we be able to determine a clear winner…? Unless this is to be a fight to the death." He chortled sarcastically. I didn't answer, hoping to unnerve his calm demeanor.

Silence reigned. My bottom left eyelid twitched angrily. He wasn't taking me seriously.

The face I was making, though I couldn't see it, was surely one of the most mutinous ones I was capable of twisting. Suzume-chan coughed in the background, and the moment broke.

I relaxed, slouching slightly to the side. I made a feral grin; one that was meant as a teasing threat. My glance moved languidly over a band on my opponent's upper arm. It had the kanji for earth repeatedly printed around its circumference.

I tensed up, suddenly alert. I recognized it from long ago. A time when I had been struggling with one of my most violent inner demons… I cringed inwardly at the rush of unbidden recollections.

…_He was skinny, unhealthily so. But it wasn't because he was underprivileged or unloved… _

Hisoka-san's hitai-ate glinted clearly in front of his throat as he leaned forward. I leapt backwards, discreetly depositing a miniscule spider behind a jagged rock. I guess there weren't going to be any guidelines.

I sailed through the air, still distracted. Images of a filthy, sobbing child huddled in the dark danced before my eyes like travesties of nostalgia. Nothing could ever make me go back to those days. NEVER; not when I had art.

I was staring at Hisoka-san, not seeing him, when suddenly he was gone. My thoughts moved like a swimmer through tar, my body reacted like lightening. Instinctively, I rocketed upwards, trying to escape the ground. A fist had shot through the space I had been occupying nanoseconds after I vacated it. I saw Hisoka-san briefly, an incredulous light shining in his eyes, before he disappeared in a blur of motion again.

"He's bloody fast!" my brain processed vaguely.

…_The rangy boy extricated himself from the overflowing dumpster, dropping down to the cold cement of an alleyway. They had done it to him again: tossed him aside like a broken toy when he had had no more emotion to spare for them…_

I twisted about midair, hands in the pouches at my sides. The palm-mouths ate feverishly. Hisoka-san was there again, hovering beside me. Despite his bulk, he easily outstripped my agility. I berated myself furiously for sitting around instead of training.

He threw a kick in my face, and at the same time I thrust my arms towards him, past his leg. I took the hit, feeling blood gush out of my almost-broken nose. My chin had luckily taken the brunt of the impact; sparing the carefully constructed cartilage I had called my nose.

…_He looked down at his swollen hands. Everyone hated them, so why shouldn't he? The other children had tied duct tape around them. It cut off the circulation and stung his skin, making it itch horribly. They told him he deserved to be different; it wasn't a good thing…_

From my palm-mouths spouted twin centipedes. They burst forth, twining themselves around Hisoka-san's offending leg. Suzume-chan was screaming.

"I'll kill you!" I rasped insanely.

…_The boy wriggled his pale fingers feebly. Even though the mouths on his hands didn't breath, they felt as though they were suffocating under the pressure… _

In a blind rage spiked with fear, I fell away from Hisoka-san, signing "snake". In the explosion that ensued, a shower of gravel fell from the sky, and Hisoka-san's stone doppelganger crumbled. I caught a triumphant smile on the cold face before it was obliterated. I landed softly on the hard earth, then weaved a few more seals and abruptly sank through it.

…_Deidara's gaze turned up again fearfully. He knew he would have to go home soon. Have to go past them again. They said he needed to be punished for being a monster. If that was what they thought, then it was so. They were doing an admirable thing. He had no right to be unlike everyone else… _

Hisoka-san swore somewhere above me, and then I heard the unmistakable, resounding racket of him tunneling down as well. I was ready, and planted more bombs in the form of worm-like dragons. But that wasn't for now. I knew what came next.

I allowed my hands to eat more clay.

…_But the tape was so… uncomfortable… unbearable… Perhaps if he took it off… just for a little bit, maybe they wouldn't notice. He knew it was part of the retribution he deserved. That day he had forgotten his promise and had accidentally waved to Suzume. The others had seen his deformity and rightly rebuked him. …But would they really watch him on his way back? He thought he already knew the answer…_

I resurfaced, powering myself out of the eroding pit I had created with chakra. As I had already anticipated, Hisoka-san had not burrowed down like me, but had sent another doppelganger to do his bidding. Once more, a thick body sped towards me. Yet again I prepared myself to get hurt.

…_With a painful amount of difficulty, the boy awkwardly stripped the tape from his hands. He pocketed the used garbage, intending to put it back on if the others found him without it. There were blotchy bruises blossoming all up his arms, and an irritating rash had begun to manifest itself. The lipless mouths on the palms of his hands had been beaten the worst. They were distended horribly, and throbbed with every pulse of life moving through his veins. But finally, he could open them and just let his tongues loll out…_

A fist full of chakra was driven into my chest, totally winding me. Blood spurted out of my gaping mouth, peppering my opponent in scarlet. However, unbeknownst, to him, twenty or so parasite-sized spiders crawled off of my loose clothing, transferring onto Hisoka-san's body. I saw them briefly before they disappeared into the folds of his vest and I was thrown backwards into the weathered face of the canyon wall.

…_Cautiously, like a guilty puppy expectant of reprisal via a 2X4, he crept out of the obsidian depths the other children had deposited him in. He could almost imagine the fear coming off of him in great, putrid waves and resolving itself into a physical form through which he could be tracked… _

Suzume-chan had seen my trap. She was no longer sitting in a semi-obligatory state of shock induced by relief. She had started to cry out again, and was running full tilt for Hisoka-san. I bellowed something unintelligible even to myself. She was going to mess everything up! I initiated a seal, roaring,

"_Katsu!_" Everything went as I predicted. The third doppelganger shattered, and what I took to be the real Hisoka-san immerged out of nowhere, diving at me with a kunai held tightly in his grip. He was really underestimating me, taking me head on like that. But then again, it occurred to me that this was probably another rock clone.

…_Nobody seemed to have a moment to spare for the bedraggled child called Deidara. He was blissfully ignored. His cruel keepers didn't seem to be anywhere near, either. It was a bright, gleaming world outside of his tortured mind… _

Suzume-chan reeled to a halt. She wrung her hands helplessly in a state most different from her usual belligerent self. She didn't seem to know what to do, so pulled back again, withdrawing into a crevice.

…_He couldn't help but stop to peruse some of the merchandise in the scrupulously clean stores. They told tales of belonging and indulgence. Both were foreign to Deidara, and being such fascinated him… _

The doppelganger that had been tunneling burst out of the grit beneath my feet. It attempted a hold on my ankle, but in a flash I had detonated the dragons surrounding it. Clone Number Four bowled into me, trying to slash my midriff. In a split second I had sent a rush of chakra up my arm and solidified it into a rock form over my hands. Despite the doppelganger's surprising speed, I managed to grab the knife held in its stony grasp and divert the force of its momentum to the side. I held onto the blade's razor edge, shielded by the chakra I had converted into a defense. I felt the thin scabs on my right arm stretch uncomfortably. The clone let go, leaving me with its kunai. It was hurled backwards in a violent sweep and I helped it on its way with a hefty punt with my foot. I heard the fourth doppelganger's remains crash down the slope to my clay reservoir.

…_Frivolous and decadent most of the items were, but _a_ll of the wonders shining through the windows were eye-catching. However, his gaze lingered over a black band; probably one of the least flashy pieces of paraphernalia. It had the kanji for "earth" stamped in ink on round pieces of metal punched into the leather… _

And then I twisted around, lashing my foot out at Hisoka-san. Contact. I had planned it all perfectly. I knew he would be there. I had also known he would use four doppelgangers, and I knew he would figure out that I had predicted his fight pattern. So now came the next move.

Hisoka-san recovered himself halfway through his tumble, skidding back to a halt. He stood up straighter, all signs of polite playfulness gone. His stance was reminiscent of Suzume-chan's before I had beaten her. I was toying with him now… or was it vice versa? I wanted to see what he would show me next.

"_Tera's Wrath: Tesaki-ato-chi-tsuchi-shibousha!_"

And suddenly, before I could do more than send my hands for more clay, tiny rocks and shards of earth were pelting at me. Some of them pierced my skin, embedding themselves deep in my sinew, while others bashed my nerves into submission, rupturing blood vessels beneath the surface. This was like… Suzume-chan's unfinished jutsu! Hisoka-san had taken it to a whole new level.

I was so taken aback that I could barely react to the overload on my senses. Somehow, through the pain, I managed to sculpt a tiny bird in my right hand. I let it drop to the ground, then, cringingly I made the sign for "ram" and the bird expanded rapidly, sheltering me partially from the onslaught. I looked up at my creation through narrowed slits. I hadn't been paying that much attention to the amount of chakra I had injected into the eagle. But maybe… I had subconsciously done it right…

…_And then everything had changed. Rough hands had tightened around his slight shoulders, and he was thrown into the dirt. Dust rose like ghostly clouds, and he breathed it in, shuddering. Taunting voices jeered at him and probed his fragile sanity. __**Pain… More suffering, more insults.**__ And Deidara believed them. Every single accusation and claim. He never looked into his captors' eyes, just gazed past the hazy torment of rejection, straight ahead at the arm band in the window. That had been his life. Staring through a sheet of seclusion, believing that he could never feel or be like the others on the opposite side… Where were friends when you needed them?_

Reluctantly, I connected with the vast piece of clay, spurring it away from me roughly in the direction I figured Hisoka-san was. Wings buffeted the hailing debris off course as the clay creature took flight. The rain of grit let up slightly, and giving the bird a mental boost, it launched itself off at my adversary. He was in the exact position I wanted… and if he moved to the left to avoid this attack… ha, left was the only way he could go! From where I was observing my offense, Hisoka-san would be forced to move left, or else down the hazardous incline.

Just as I hypothesized, Hisoka-san tore off along the perimeter to his right. I found the imaginary thread connecting me to the first work of art I had brought into existence at the start of our battle. At the same time, I swung the monstrous eagle around. Hisoka-san bolted towards me, weaving hand seals faster than my eye could keep up with them. An enormous boulder rivaling the size of my bird came out of the earth with a thunderous crash. My creation hit it and with a titanic "BANG!" detonated, sending fragments of stone careening like shrapnel. Hisoka-san lunged at me, but the moment he had needed to retreat from my clay eagle, the outcome of the battle had been decided.

…_Through the torture… through the exile… Deidara saw the arm band taunting him. It was engraved in his memory. It meant alienation. It meant despair. _

Those erstwhile days of… despotic agony from my peers were over. The memories ceased.

"Stop, or I'll kill you!" I barked. Hisoka-san's face wrinkled contemptuously, but he halted.

"You'd better not move either, then," he said in a surreptitious tone.

We both stood stalk still, neither believing the other. Then heads twisted about, both trying to divulge what the other had on them. Hisoka-san smiled wryly when he looked down and saw the wispy spider clinging under the belt slung across his chest. It took me a bit longer to figure out what had me in a perilous position, but it was still almost immediately evident. I turned my neck slightly to get a peripheral view of the jagged shards of rock hovering menacingly behind me. We both glared pithily at each other then my gaze slid out of focus as I plotted my next move. Hisoka-san began to laugh dryly. The hollow, mirth-less sound resounded deep within my heart.

"Oh my word, what did you do to Hisoka-kun?!"

My attention was abruptly stolen by the small group of people converging around the entrance to my training grounds. Between my horrific recollections and the resentment that was beginning to well up within me for Hisoka-san, I had had no concentration to spare for the outside world, even my art! I had taken no time to enjoy the explosions…

Panic flared briefly, then a fiery desire to drive the intruders away. If they saw my fireworks… All urges to fight disappeared, and doing the worst thing possible, I glanced around at the spots where the unused fireworks were sitting. A girl with curly, wild looking short brown hair followed the flicker of my eyes.

She had a sharp air about her, and surveyed the scene with unparalleled dominance. She wore capris and a high-necked silver tank top. Clearly, she was in charge. Among her fellows; an intense, geeky looking boy in a T-shirt, and a distracted, skirt-wearing kunoichi with spiraling blond hair, I recognized the boy wearing an unusual, long-sleeved chunin vest. I knew it was to cover up the many scars and deep gouges in his swarthy skin. Thick, interestingly clean dread locks hung in front of his knowing eyes. He was Hayashi, Kazuki, my former team mate when Suzume-chan and I had been sorted into genin cells. He was another of those outcast kids with more than a few harrowing experiences to his name… though he had never told us how he had sustained those old wounds. He, of his three companions, looked the least concerned. He wasn't a fan of Hisoka-san. They were rivals, as the rumor went.

The dark haired girl who had first spoken stepped down into the clearing, arms akimbo. Neither me, nor Hisoka-san seemed to want to relinquish the leverage we had over each other. She groaned impatiently.

"I thought you were going to be back by 6:00 at least. And when you didn't show, we figured you'd ditched us and beat… this kid up already." She looked smug. "Were you taking yourself too seriously again? Just give up, and let's get some food already!"

Hisoka-san gave her a seditious look, but relented. The meditating detritus tinkled to the ground.

"Oh… what's that on your shirt?" said the vague girl with ringlets.

I tugged the spider back with an internal command. It scuttled down Hisoka-san's leg and about twenty feet away from everyone else before I saw fit to destroy it. It burst into a thunderhead of light and sound that scorched the earth and blackened the nearby rocks. I basked in the glow of its radiance, keeping what I thought was a fairly blasé outward appearance. Apparently, it wasn't. I received a mystified glare from Hisoka-san's ex-team mates. Kazuki-san was almost smiling; a rare occurrence. The dreamy girl had flinched.

"H-e-e-e-e-y…" drawled the short boy, breaking the uncomfortable moment. "This would be a mighty fine place to cook dinner." He gestured somewhere behind him at the pack on his back.

"Nice place to have a party, too." The leader girl leered, her eyes dancing back to the fireworks.

Kazuki-san pushed past her, the previously hidden Suzume-chan following in his wake. He looked hesitant, then he leaned in and whispered,

"I'm sorry. I know you don't like visitors, but this lot told me you were duking it out in a life-or-death struggle with Hisoka. I had to show them the way." The neglect of Hisoka-san's honorary meant that Kazuki-san either had a deep understanding of his adversary, or an even deeper loathing.

I nodded hardly paying any attention.

"They also told me you and I are going to be on the same team for the weapons mission. Along with them…" he jerked a thumb back at Hisoka-san's old cell.

"Who isn't now?" I said, rolling my eyes.

The girl with the far-off expression had drifted down into our presence. She seemed not to want to have anything to do the other two people, who were now proceeding with setting up a bonfire in my training field. I assumed this person; I couldn't remember her name, was to be one of our other teammates.

I heard Hisoka-san's voice as if from a great distance.

"Hey, Toshi-chan, Shin-kun… What are you doing…?" he called exasperatedly. Hisoka-san turned back to me, giving me an almost pleading grimace. "They didn't ask you if they could…" he began, sounding like the responsible parent.

"Whatever… Just don't let them burn anything down," I grunted.

"Hey, we're okay, right?" said Hisoka-san, drawing nearer. He looked genuinely concerned.

"What? Yeah, why wouldn't we be?" I protested, unconvincingly. I'd always hold a grudge. It was one of the less pretty aspects of my character. Kazuki-san watched our exchange with a detached disinterest.

"Alright, then. I'm going to leave… I… I need some ointment or something." He jerked his hand around, indicating the bubbling welts on his arm. I hadn't noticed I'd wounded him… besides kicking him once. He must have caught the fringe of one of my explosions. Things felt better now. I had at least _hurt_ him. My own injuries hadn't been for naught.

"I'll see you in a few days. You…" Hisoka-san looked for the words to finish his statement. "You've gotten really good."

"Uh huh. Yeah, sure I have, hmm."

Suzume-chan looked indignant. I didn't know why, either.

Hisoka-san squinted at me, then turned and left, ignoring the calls of his teammates to stay.

"Glad that's over," said Kazuki-san, snorting. Suzume-chan was silent as she watched Hisoka-san's back depart. Normally she would have agreed with Kazuki-san. "Sayonara for now, Deidara-san. Hisoka was very clever to put extra chakra into his doppelgangers, but you put up more than a good fight; you've got a talent."

"Except for that taijutsu," interjected Suzume-chan disparagingly. Kazuki-san neither agreed nor disagreed as he left with the blond girl. I looked at Suzume-chan quizzically.

"What's your problem, hmm?"

"You were the one who told me about sacrifice, right? But that was just over the top… You took, what, two hits from the doppelgangers, and about a billion from the real Hisoka… san. Do you have a limit?!"

"So…? I knew he couldn't kill me with those feeble attacks," I boasted, "And you… Did you notice what jutsu he was using? The jerk even named it!" I raised both eyebrows, causing them to disappear underneath my forehead protector.

Suzume-chan turned an ugly shade of puce.

"I- it… You didn't even… I mean, you were so rude to him!" She blocked my last comment. I said nothing, just glared. A drop of blood grew at the corner of my mouth, then slipped down my chin, following the ready-made trail. My whole body ached.

"I'm going home for the night," I said coldly. Suzume-chan looked as though she were going to cry again.

"Do… do you need help… getting the splinters out?" she asked timidly. I winced as I started to make for the entrance.

"No," I replied, blatantly lying.

"What about… the fireworks?"

"They don't matter anymore. Nothing does…" And in my head I completed the sentence. "…but my art."

And that night I could have sworn I saw the wild beauty of fireworks mingling with stars in the West.

* * *

**AN: **It got extremely tiresome putting honoraries behind every name... so I made Kazuki more lenient... but that's only towards Hisoka... 

Oh, and please excuse my atrocious Japanese grammar. I just piece stuff together and hope it makes some sense! Everything should mean... something, sort of!

Anyways... Thank you VERY much for all of the reviews, and even for just reading this. You make my day!

CHEESE!!! I WANT TO PERPETUALLY EAT CHEESE!!! CHEESE!!!


	10. Setting Out for Truth

**Setting Out For Truth**

Hisoka-san's teammates had used all of the remaining fireworks in my training grounds. They had also left garbage and soda cans everywhere, not to mention a charred pyre of paper and gasoline; nobody had wood. I had gone back the next day to clean up the mess and check my clay source. When I had sent Hisoka-san's fourth doppelganger down the hill, it had dislodged some of the boulders and made everything an unstable hazard. It had taken me almost an hour to get down to the reservoir by testing the footholds with my bombs. My original puddle had been decimated under the avalanche, but I managed to salvage some clay from the nearby stream. I took as much as I could possibly find and carry. It had to last for the cumbersome mission ahead.

On Monday I set my alarm for 5:00 and woke up at 5:27. The radio had droned on for twenty-seven minutes before I finally realized the voices I was hearing weren't part of the disturbing dream I was having.

Everything hurt when I attempted to haul myself out of the tangled bed sheets. I had gotten most of the rock fragments out from under my skin, but as I straightened my stiff frame, I suspected I had missed a few. If they weren't removed, they'd fester and infect my whole body. But I still wasn't feeling much obliged to ask for help from anyone else, especially after I had already turned it down once. I'd suffer quietly and alone.

And as for the burns on my arm… they weren't so bad, and were well on their way to healing, though the urge to pick at them was terrible. I lamented the fact that they wouldn't leave scars. I would have liked a corporeal reminder of my first work of art.

Seeing I had a limited amount of time left before my appointed meeting, I jolted out of bed, randomly prizing clothes; old or fresh, it didn't matter, out of the mess. I hurriedly got ready, brushing all of my teeth and pulling my hair up into another high ponytail. Pushing my sweeping bangs aside with a hand, I tied my hitai-ate up at the back. Was I imagining it, or did it look a bit, if just slightly more worn? I grinned despite myself at the boy in the mirror. Was he maturing?

I had thrown on another striped, long-sleeved shirt and a black, zip-up, v-neck vest. It was the one I had been sort of… given when I was promoted to the rank of chunin. Okay, never mind, Grandpa Takumi-sama had told me to buy it with my own money. Well, I decided to wear it anyways.

I later realized my pants were the same ones I had been wearing the day I got torn up by Hisoka-san. I cleaned out the pockets before taking them off and replacing them with new, unscathed ones. I clutched the old gum and chip wrappers as I tore around the house gathering the rest of my possessions I deemed necessary for the mission. I found shuriken, knives and other ninja equipment in some of the weirdest places. My kunai pack, which had been absent during my fight with Hisoka-san, had somehow migrated under the sofa. I found more kunai in the kitchen sink, and one random katana that belonged to Takumi-sama inside the entrance closet.

When I had finally put all I could fit into a beaten up brown backpack, I sat on my bed once more. I started to root around under the bed sheet, beginning to pull it up by its corners.

"Bah!" I grunted, struggling with the non-resilient covers. "There's gotta be some left…" I was referring to the cash I had stored underneath the sheet.

I clenched my fists, getting frustrated. I was alarmed when I felt the rubbish in my hand. I stopped the battle against my bed to open my hand. As soon as my fingers were clear of the garbage, the palm-mouth shunted all of it off. Its tongue swept everything clear except for a slip of folded paper. I plucked it off my hand before the mouth decided to eat it.

At first I didn't realize what it was until Suzume-chan's unhappy face flashed purposefully across my memory. I couldn't believe my good fortune. I was alone, and I had the note that Hisoka-san had written to Suzume-chan. I glanced suspiciously around the room, as though expecting someone to pop up and tell me it was time to go.

Cautiously, incredulously, I unfolded the small page. My eyes narrowed cynically. The paper was almost completely filled with… gibberish. Words mixed with symbols that made no sense and little scribbles here and there. I glowered at the note. Was it a code…? Or had Hisoka-san done a header into a cliff face on one of his stupid glory-trips? The idea made me snort derisively. I figured I'd have time to… decode, or even verify if that was a real letter at all on the mission. There would have to be rest breaks and camp-outs.

My gaze turned back up to the clock again as I furtively tucked the note into one of the pockets on my pack. It was two minutes to 6:00.

I dove back under the covers, and finally after much violent coaxing and swearing, pulled my remaining money out. I didn't even take time to count the amount left. Never mind paying back the guard at the festival; I didn't care about saving cash for my covert fireworks.

As I bowled through the village, I vaguely remembered that I should have told Aunt Tsukiko-sama that I was leaving that day. It didn't take much effort to dismiss that concern. She probably wouldn't check on me again, anyway. Not after her fun with my art.

The entrance gate was rapidly getting larger as I approached it at a high velocity. I saw blurry sticks with back packs milling around before features began to paint themselves on my new team. Hisoka-san, his arms folded in front of him, Suzume-chan standing awkwardly behind him, Kazuki-san talking listlessly with the dreamy looking-girl, the pain-in-the-necks who had messed up my retreat, bickering over a bag of fish sticks, and two other people, a girl and a guy, who appeared to be a couple years older than us. Heads snapped around when my frantic footsteps got within earshot. Everyone watched me approach with varying expressions of annoyance or surprise. Kazuki-san rolled his hazel eyes skyward.

"Glad you saw fit to join us, Deidara-san," he said dryly. I flinched inwardly. I had forgotten I had a reputation for being notoriously lazy, and by doing so, I had been a sluggard again, furthering my status among the chunin. A great start to the day, but I wouldn't let it bother me for long. I had far more pressing things on my mind than appealing to others. I would never care about people like I once had.

"Can we go now?" said Toshi-san, the brown haired girl. She shot me a nasty look. "We're already seven minutes behind schedule. This is very unprofessional."

"But I won the bet, give me the chibbies first!" protested her companion, Shin-san.

"Shut up, Baka. I was only pulling your leg," she scoffed.

"Alright, alright, let's go…" sighed Kazuki-san. I guessed he was thinking something along the lines of: "This is going to be a long trip…"

As the group started walking, Kazuki-san spoke up again.

"Since we are all chunin, and of equal rank, the council of elders proposed me as leader of our squad. Do any of you have objections?" He scanned the faces behind him with a suspicious eye. I couldn't help but glance at Hisoka-san. If anyone would have trouble relinquishing his hold over power, it would be him, or maybe that Toshi-san girl.

Nobody said anything. I thought that maybe they were all petrified of Kazuki-san now that he was wearing a short sleeved shirt and all of his scars shone palely in the light.

I was smiling again, and didn't realize it until one of the older shinobi started staring at me. I let the happy façade drop, feeling resentful. I didn't want to be here, not in the least. From the corner of my eye I watched Suzume-chan, the one who had semi-dragged me into this work. She didn't look too psyched either. I got angrier. If anyone HAD to fake being excited at trying to outdo Hisoka-san, it was her.

My gaze drifted over to my other teammates. Kazuki-san was lecturing once more. He was saying something about not crossing the border, but camping out half way up the mountain range.

I spaced out, watching the blond girl's smooth strides. She was wearing some sort of dress thing over a pair of black shorts. Her outfit consisted of some more random spandex-like things on her arms, and one fingerless, net glove.

I turned my attention on Toshi-san and Shin-san. They seemed to be paying rapt attention to Kazuki-san. Toshi-san wore another of those sleeveless, turtle-neck, silver tops with capris, and knee-high sandals. Her Iwa forehead protector was tied around her waist. Shin-san had another T-shirt on, and a tight pair of jeans. His shirt was emblazoned with the words: "Free the fishes; there ain't enough fugu in the world." He would've looked like your average sushi obsessed dude if he hadn't been a wearing a headband.

Hisoka-san wore the same thing as always, along with Suzume-chan. They had on their usual, trademark outfits; Hisoka-san, his creepy jumpsuit, tools, and vest, Suzume-chan with her red, zip-up top, light brown shorts, and bandages. The two of them never seemed to explore other styles.

Kazuki-san had donned a normal chunin vest along with white pants… which I knew wouldn't stay that way for long. I watched his disfigured arms gesture forcefully. It was like somebody had pushed the "mute" button in my brain.

I last observed the newcomers. The kunoichi had close-cut, raven hair, and glasses perched daintily on her nose. Her companion had thin, coppery hair and an exhausted feel about him. Both of them wore standard chunin vests and looked like model Iwagakure shinobi. They appeared to be seventeen or eighteen years old.

"…Deidara-san… Hello, Deidara-san!"

I jumped slightly as my reverie broke.

"What, hmm?" I snapped. Kazuki-san gave me a reproving look.

"I just asked you if you had packed the necessary amount of food to sustain yourself for the next few days." I took my time to answer carefully.

"Well… I haven't been shopping for some time now. I… I'm not eating too much at the moment, yeah."

"You didn't bring anything, did you?" said Suzume-chan. It was the first time she'd spoken to me that day. "It's okay; I have enough for two people." Had she been expecting me not to pack food?

I nodded gratefully. Somebody still knew me.

* * *

**AN: **Details. It would be sacrilege to do any less. (Only for me, I'd have to bludgeon myself with a block of cheese). Don't hate me for writing a slow chapter. (Smiles wryly).

Writing's about as cheesy as the stuff I'm ingesting. Or maybe... it's late at night. No... it's not late...


	11. Rejection or Acceptation?

**Rejection or Acceptation?**

The farther we strayed from Iwagakure, the more alert everyone became. The team's heads were constantly twisting about; looking for enemies which I highly doubted would appear.

I stared at my hands for hours at a time, glad that no one else had the attention to spare for them. The palm-mouths licked their lips over and over again. Sometimes they frowned at me, other times they grinned conspiratorially, as though they had some big secret that they weren't going to tell me. Whenever I looked up, the landscape was the same. Rocks; lots of rocks. We had withdrawn far from the ravine where Iwagakure was situated and onto wild, boulder country. I passed so many caves that just begged to be explored and mined. I was reminded that I'd been found in a fissure-like cave, maybe even born in one.

The sky darkened violently, and the crisp wind carried a hint of impending precipitation. Evening had arrived, though I didn't know the exact time; I did not own a watch.

I had gotten quite ecstatic when I realized that it just might rain. We; Earth, Wind, and the minor lands that lay between us, did not generally receive many showers.

Kazuki-san finally told us to set up camp in a nearby cave. After a quick and thorough examination of the surrounding area and interior, the cavern was deemed secure for the night. The guys awkwardly unrolled thin sleeping bags, while the girls did the same on the other side of the hollow crevice. Stalagmites made finding a flat space to sleep difficult. I gawked upwards at the high ceiling. Wicked looking stalactites loomed menacingly overhead. They had long since ceased to drip with the mineral-rich waters that fueled their slow growth.

"What're you looking at, Deidara-kun?" asked Suzume-chan, appearing behind me. I pointed vertically. She cocked her head back, gasping slightly when the conical spears became visible.

"There… there aren't bats up there, are there?" She spoke in a melodramatic whisper.

"What?! Did you just say bats?" Toshi-san had jumped up from her bedspread. Her eyes moved nervously from side to side, then up and down.

"A-hah-hah! I hope there are!" said Shin-san, giving Toshi-san a fiendish look of sadistic delight. From the opposite side of the cave, Toshi-san threw her pillow at him. She performed a hand seal at lightening speed and the cushion morphed into a medium-sized rock before smacking Shin-san.

"You can't take a joke to save your life!" he wined, nursing the new bruise on his forehead. Hisoka-san moved between them before Toshi-san could retort.

"Give it a rest!" he said authoritatively.

"What if there really are bats?" whimpered Toshi-san, reaching for her pillow, now restored back to its previous squishy state. I had had enough of the drama. And I didn't look forward to explaining why I had nothing to sleep on. The food confrontation had been embarrassing enough.

I left the cave discreetly thanks to the fact that Kazuki-san and the rest of the group who weren't fooling around were hard at work planning next day's route.

The world outside was bitter and hard. A blustery breeze swept over the barren landscape, chilling me despite my thick clothing. The crevice in which we had set up base was at the bottom of a steep incline. Behind me was our sanctuary, sitting among the other colossal stones and boulders that looked like they had rolled down the hill. We had followed an animal-trail through this ditch and found the cave almost immediately.

I turned my gaze back to the slant. It was steep, but to my great disbelief, roots poked out of the crumbly dirt.

Feeling bored and a little bit reckless, I grabbed a hold of one of them. As soon as I tried to climb, the root gave out, the rest of its pitiful length slithering from its tunnel. I tossed the dead plant-life aside. I should have expected just as much from trees grown here. A lack of moisture, fertile land, and overall soil, had culminated in sickly vegetation… besides the hardy canyon shrub. I had been taken aback to discover that there even were trees still this close to Iwagakure.

I was about to snatch another pale root, when I felt a slight tap on the top of my head. I felt a drop of water filter through fair hairs and land on my scalp. It slid down the right side of my skull, itching all the way 'til it reached my forehead protector, where it was absorbed by the satiny fabric.

Without looking up, I reached for a rather thick root above me. This time I gave myself a boost, gathering chakra to the soles of my feet. I put a tentative sandal against the dusty slope, and when I tested my weight, the tree's root held. Elated, I picked up speed, thrusting my feet ahead of each other faster and faster, balancing myself with various roots and pieces of sparse foliage.

The rain began to pour down; I was quickly drenched. My bangs started to drip, turning them into a curtain of overly saturated hair. When I tried to throw them aside with a quick toss of my head, I only succeeded in plastering them to my glistening face.

After a few scary moments, I reached the top of the hill, and clutching at a vine above me, I hauled myself over the edge. I rolled over onto my back, shaking from the nerve-wracking climb. It hadn't been the height that bothered me; it was the reliance on the roots. They were unstable. They couldn't be trusted.

I now lay beneath a dead tree. I didn't know its name, but it was vast. Skeletal branches clawed the air, as though trying to rip the very sky open. The ancient plant spoke wordlessly of its struggle through the years, and its ultimate defeat and demise.

My hand drifted down to the pouch belted to my left hip. The palm-mouth needed no goading. It imbibed the clay; positively devouring it. When I withdrew my hand and opened it, a sparrow took wing. It struggled above me, fighting the overpowering droplets pelting against its smooth back. I watched it through squinted eyes, contemplating a new theory.

I turned my head suddenly when above the drone of rain hitting the hollow tree's limbs, I heard the sounds of shifting earth and labored breathing. I sat up, peeking over the cliff-like edge. Two shinobi surfaced, panting. They climbed up, plopping down beside me on the moist grass. It was the girl with ebony hair and her companion, the weary looking boy.

I surveyed them with supercilious indifference. The kunoichi looked a bit hurt by my expression. I let it slip slightly into a faint smile, feeling a bit foolish. The boy was still gaping incredulously down the slope, as though in denial that he had actually climbed that high up.

"Uh, Kazuki-san told us to look for you," said the girl, nervously. "You're Deidara-san, right?"

"Yeah, I am," I said, un-sticking my bangs from my face. She was silent as she watched me play with my hair. I think she was waiting for me to ask her what her name was. I didn't comply. I lay back down, staring at the rain and blinking when it hit my eyes. I felt like I was gazing into space and moving at light speed past the stars; the water droplets.

"Uh… Well, I'm Amaya…" said the kunoichi. "…And this is Isamu-kun, my former teammate…" Her voice trailed away as she pointed to the boy.

"Yeah?" I said, lazily. "That's good for you." The boy's head whipped around suddenly, and I caught a flash of wrathful spite on his features before I blinked again.

"What's your problem?!" he snapped. "We were told to get you, okay? Stop being such a snob! If you wanted to go and have a pity party alone, then you shouldn't have signed yourself up for serious shinobi work!"

"I straightened, glaring at Isamu-san. Normally, I would have taken the insults, but he had hit a nerve. My mind was furiously processing a come-back.

"What do any of you give if I stay out here, hmm?!" I barked. "Just stop watching me! I-I don't want to be here! Leave me alone!"

The sparrow I had created had settled itself on one of the wizened tree's bows, but in my outrage, it fluttered to life again, diving around my ponytail.

Amaya-san looked terrified. She shrank away from us, her eyes bugging out and following the bird's progress.

"What's that?" she asked timidly.

"Come on, don't talk to him, Amaya-chan!" said Isamu-san, crawling towards her. He put an arm over her shoulders.

"You wanna know what this is?" I cried, waving my arms in the air. "It's my art!" I made the seal for "ram" and the sparrow exploded, although it was subdued by the rain. I drank in the two peoples' expressions. Though they seemed amazed, they weren't looking at the space where my clay had self-destructed. They were staring at my hands, now hanging limply by my sides.

"What are you _looking_ at?!" I roared, quite deranged. It was always that way. When you see a disability or abnormality at a glance, like an odd birth mark or a particularly gruesome wound, you can't help but get a second look, maybe even a third. Because the first time you weren't really sure if you saw what you thought you did. Sometimes people assumed I had old, healed cuts on my palms, but on their second furtive glance, it usually hit them.

But never did it matter so much as now! If people couldn't see past my strange body, then how could they ever understand art?! They couldn't. It was as simple as that. If the world was going to be superficial, then I would never let it in.

I thrust my hands into the two petrified shinobis' faces.

"Don't look away," I said in a deadly whisper. Amaya-san flinched, her eyes pinched shut.

"Stop it!" Isamu-san bellowed, drawing her nearer.

Then her eyes slowly, but surely, cracked open. And she gazed face-to-face with my palm-mouth. She didn't look afraid anymore, but fascinated.

I pulled my hands back, hugging myself. I was trembling now with the after affects of my anger and… something else I couldn't recognize. I got up and turned away. I was almost… feeling guilty. Maybe that outburst had been too much. I had probably just succeeded in making two new enemies.

The obsessive half of myself shunned the idea, nagging me with thoughts like: "They don't care about you, so why should you show them anything different? Your art is only for you; nobody else. They have no right to be shocked!" I attempted to push the voice away. It sort of worked; now I could only vaguely hear it beneath the overwhelming pain.

I created another bird, carefully measuring out the amount of chakra I put into it. I had wanted to try this ever since Hisoka-san fought me days ago.

I executed several hand signs and the hawk grew; rapidly shooting upwards 'til it was much taller than me. Smoke-like steam poured out of the heated clay. I had never made anything this big before.

Steeling myself for the next step, I hopped upwards onto its broad back. Warm air caressed my exposed skin, gently touching salty tears. When had I started crying? I brushed the weakness away with the back of my hand.

I felt tentatively for the bird's borrowed chakra. I could feel it pulsing right through to my feet, mingling with the chakra I had sent to them. I connected with the hawk. It felt as though my circulatory system beat with my chakra network. The two were joined inseparably.

I mentally prodded the bird. Carefully sculpted feathers swung outwards, creating a wingspan over twenty feet long.

Voices were shouting at me in tones I couldn't understand. Were they mad at me or scared? Telling me off or egging me on?

But I never doubted my theory would work. And this was my moment.

The hawk crouched low, bunching its haunches. Then, when all seemed still, it rocketed skywards. Before I could comprehend what had happened and if I had even caused it, the earth was gone.

The ground lurched away as I ordering the clay to climb higher in tight spirals. Rain pelted me viciously with all of its fury and the wind would have easily blown me off if I hadn't fused my feet to the bird's back.

I crouched low, trying to become one with my creation. We were as close as we could get to being the same entity. Through me, my art lived. Through my art, I died. Over and over again in an endless cycle, seeking new and greater frontiers every time.

I whooped despite myself, all qualms abolished in the exhilarating thrill of flight. Would I ever have to come back down again? That was my earth, right there. Clay of the ground, breaking from the monotony of lying around beneath the stone for eternity. Here the two, earth and sky, balanced out, earth feeling the freedom of unhindered flight, sky tasting the security of that which is immovable and stable.

I grinned maniacally at the boulders and desolate plains far below. Was I really expected to go back to that, to all the problems and altercations of the underworld…when now…I was in Heaven?


	12. Sacrifice Supposition

**Sacrifice Supposition **

The gale played with my hair, causing it to sometimes drift around me, other moments whip as though caught within the monsoon. I had to make sure not to ascend too high, or else risk passing out from the cold and lack of oxygen. I was already freezing as it was, but if I were to lose consciousness, my creation would either go on autopilot or just shut down completely. Neither were desirable options.

There was no soaring or easy sailing. The clay bird's wings beat as fast as their massive proportions would allow. My first flight ended up being a fight for my life, even if the lethal, powerful winds weren't active. But what a glorious struggle it was! I had broken through the Rubicon of flight, just as I had exceeded my limits in art. There was no going back; I was hooked.

I was briefly given the illusion of freedom, tied only to my mission by invisible strings that tugged at my heart, threatening to rip it out whenever I got too far away. They were made of guilt and the fear of being reprimanded.

I flew nonstop until the daybreak of Tuesday morning. The rain had ceased. The fiery hues of dawn bathed my face in a shining glow that almost matched the intensity of the wide smile semi-frozen to my face. It fell drastically when I spotted the rest of my team grouping around outside the cave they had supposedly slept in.

I reluctantly commanded the hawk to descend. The clay angled its wings, fighting the wind. It dropped quickly, almost spinning into a dive. We drew near to the ground. Ten feet above it, the bird flapped its wings in several powerful down strokes and landed with a muffled thud.

Suzume-chan was the first to run up to me. The others stood back warily, watching her. I searched among the varying faces, but couldn't see Isamu-san or Amaya-san; they were avoiding me.

"Deidara-kun! Where were you? What happened? You look like you spent all night out there!" Suzume-chan was almost sobbing. I saw dried up tear streaks glistening in the light. I hoped she couldn't see mine.

"What's wrong with me?" I asked, lifting my arms and inspecting my thin body.

"You're soaking wet, and pale, and you've got shadows under your eyes!" she said, looking furious. "You're bleeding, too," she added as an after thought.

I licked my chapped lips, tasting the metallic tang of blood.

"Yeah." I slid off my clay, now icy from the storm's touch. My wobbly legs almost gave out beneath me. Kazuki-san approached me, a pretense of barely controlled ire visible just below his impassive face.

"You… are aware… that it is… strictly forbidden to leave your comrades on a mission unless otherwise directed… yes?" A vein had appeared on Kazuki-san's temple. I didn't know what to say. What could I have told him? The truth; that I never wanted to go on that stupid mission anyway, that I was sick of everybody around me and had gotten into a rather intense spat with my supposed senpais, _and_ that I think I might have permanently scarred that Amaya-san girl? So I said nothing.

"Amaya-san and Isamu-san were sent to find you, and they told me you had climbed some hill. They said you were following them back when you just disappeared!" I blinked, stunned. Were… were they covering up for me?

Kazuki-san leaned in and hissed sibilantly,

"Don't think I like bossing you around, Deidara-san. We are normally of equal rank. But I will not have my authority undermined on a whim of yours!

"So did you get lost, what happened?"

"Yeah," I said, twinging at the lie. "I was heading back, and it was quite dark. I lost them around a bend, I guess, hmm." I felt pretty unconvincing. "And then, I thought that instead of blundering around and getting even more lost, I should just stay put." I gesticulated wildly. "But then I didn't want to sit on the ground and get eaten by something!" I laughed nervously, "That's when I came to the conclusion that in the air was better than nothing at all." I finished, looking for approval from Kazuki-san. He frowned at me.

"You were being a beacon for disaster, you know that, right? We were supposed to be stealthy…" He scratched his head. "…But if it couldn't be helped…"

"It couldn't," I shot quickly.

"Fine, whatever you say. Don't let it happen again. If it does, I'm sending you back somehow…"

An empty threat; there was no way he could justify returning me alone, or with another teammate.

"If everyone is packed, we're leaving," said Kazuki-san, shouldering his satchel. I looked longingly at the hawk I had created, and then with a quick hand seal it disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

We started our trek again. Everyone decided to walk around the spot where the bird had been. I saw Isamu-san and Amaya-san briefly at the back of the group before they worked their way to the middle, between the blond girl and Kazuki-san. They avoided eye contact, both staring straight ahead at the path laid before us. I turned away, grimacing. I was on dire terms with almost everyone now.

Hours passed away like sludge worming its way through a colander. I was left to my own tormenting thoughts with nobody to pull me out of them. I wondered if everyone hated me. Had I estranged myself from Suzume-chan, or was she pushing me away all by herself? What was wrong with her? Or was I the problem…? Would this phase EVER pass?

And the obsessive, sociopath-like side of me, which I began to refer to as the "BANG" argued with brief emotional flashes that told whole stories. Memories of explosions, fireworks, and art… among rejection, pain, and ridicule. I got angry with my recollections; I knew they were trying to suppress all guilt and human empathy. They were having a go at denying my flaws. At the same time, I took comfort from them and tried not to confront the truth; that I needed those feelings to keep going, to not die from the overload of everyone else's influence. I needed… to numb myself.

My stomach felt as though it were devouring itself and twisting inside out. My legs were sore from my first flight. The shards of rock still under my skin felt as though they were rubbing against my muscles, cutting them over and over again in a perpetual, methodic rhythm of agony. My lips were crusted in dried blood. My body and mind hurt, as fatigue and stress took its toll.

I wanted to fly away. I wanted to join the sky again.

I attempted to watch the passing scenery. Trees were now flourishing as we had entered one of the rare lush parts of the Land of Earth. The ground, sometimes cruel, had been kind to life in this area. I knew from my imbedded map knowledge, that we should have been approaching a village soon.

It seemed that mere minutes after I had acknowledged the facts, Kazuki-san stopped abruptly. Everyone else halted jerkily, some people almost bumped into each other.

"Okay, we're coming up to one of the minor, non-shinobi villages. We are going to stay the night there, then move on in the morning. Tomorrow we pick up the pace. For now, I believe there is a river not too far away, so if you please, go and refill your canteens." Kazuki-san looked almost close to happy.

I concentrated some chakra to my ears, tilting my head. I could indeed pick up the faint traces of rushing water.

I, of course, being almost totally unprepared, had not packed myself a bottle, or anything for holding water. But, not wanting to stick up like the sore nail I was, I lagged after the group, thinking longingly of the food awaiting mere kilometers away in town.

The river was much larger than I had anticipated. It spanned across at least eight feet, twisting and writhing away into the East. I separated myself from the others, all chatting and restocking supplies. Trying to keep them within my sight, I bent down to the water's edge. My reflection was distorted and unstable in the churning liquid. It suited how I felt about myself. One minute I thought I knew my morals and beliefs, the next I didn't recognize the person who was acting with my body and speaking with my voice.

Making sure that nobody was watching me, I leaned over the bubbling water, taking a few rapid, hasty gulps. The cool sustenance forced itself down my throat, lubricating my parched tissue. My lips began to bleed again.

"Uh… would you like something for your… face?" asked a shy voice. I almost jumped ten feet into the air. Sputtering, I fell onto my backside, sprawling across the grass. I hadn't heard her approach over the sound of rushing water, but I now saw Amaya-san standing over me. She threw off an aura of anxiety.

I couldn't say anything. Nothing came to mind.

"I-I'm sorry about yesterday…" she whispered in a mortified tone. "We… I mean, I shouldn't have… you know…" She flushed; her cheeks became tinted with pink. "What I'm trying to say is: I shouldn't have… uh, looked at you like that," Amaya-san stuttered. "I… was too hasty. I looked at you, and I didn't take time to see anything else, besides… your…" she swallowed valiantly. "…Besides your hands. I didn't see at first that they're actually… quite beautiful."

I choked down the urge to state that I had wanted my art to be understood more than my hands; that that was what had gotten me worked up the most. But from some far-off corner of my mind I managed to finally salvage some grace.

"I overreacted. I'm sorry about that… that you had to see that." I looked at my toes splayed out in front of me. "I haven't been having the peachiest time lately…" I said lamely. "But I still shouldn't have taken it out on you guys." The "BANG" was fighting my admittance with every piece of its disjointed purpose.

"We shouldn't have judged you right away." Amaya-san sat down beside me. "I bet you get that a lot." She let a slender finger trail through the running water. I looked at her, feeling incredulous. She sort of understood…

"Uh, well, I used to…" I said, scrunching up my clammy toes. "But still…" The "BANG" screamed for denial. It convulsed internally with every misgiving.

"No, no, I should have realized…" We had started a game of Take-the-Blame.

"Whatever, neither of us are perfect, hmm." I tried to end the verbose apologies. Amaya-san gave me a quizzical look.

I suddenly wondered where Isamu-san was.

"Why do you do that? Say, "Hmm", I mean?" she spoke tentatively, as though treading on thin ice.

"Oh, it's a bad habit. I used to use it to unconfirm everything I said so nobody could take me seriously." I didn't know why I was being so honest with this person. Subconsciously, I knew I couldn't have told Suzume-chan this stuff. She would have gotten angry and stopped paying attention to what I was saying.

"I see. You know, "unconfirm" isn't a word."

"Really? I didn't realize that…" I said skeptically. Amaya-san sat up straighter.

"You know, besides the sarcasm, you're not such a bad guy." I resisted the urge to say, "Really?" again. It was the "BANG" trying to severe contact.

"Well, I don't strike people as being caring; I dislike hitting." I grinned through bloody lips. "…All sarcasm aside, of course." Amaya-san chuckled quietly.

From the corner of my eye I saw Isamu-san approaching. He held an abnormally large flask in his right hand. I assumed a blank expression, pretending not to notice. I instead gazed into the river again, searching among the distorted pebbles at its bottom. Without looking, I could feel the waves of absolute rage and animosity coming off of him. I knew he was glaring daggers at me.

I jabbed my arm beneath the surface of the water, fishing around until I found what I had thought I'd seen. My arm came back, grasping the prized rock I had spotted.

"What the…" Isamu-san spoke in a scathing voice. He looked at though he would have very much liked to bludgeon me with his container. The "BANG" was raring at a chance to fight. My body told me otherwise. My hands trembled with weakness and hunger as I opened the right one to reveal my precious item.

"A shmoo," I said, sounding random.

"Are you making fun of me?" rasped Isamu-san. Clearly his inner demon was begging for release, too.

"Geez, it's a type of rock," I grunted, waving the shmoo around in an arc above my head. "It's actually made of clay; the result of layers of compressed sediment lying at the bottom of a lake under the crushing pressure of tons of water for thousands of years. What was once soft has now submitted to the unstable water, and been forced to become hard. And still the water is free to be flexible… to change…" I lapsed into silence.

"You're bloody poetic now, aren't you?" snarled Isamu-san. "Like…" He didn't finish the sentence. He narrowed his eyes, as though struggling with an internal explosion.

"Actually, I was being metaphorical, hmm." I shrugged noncommittally.

"We're okay now, Isamu-kun. Please leave it alone," said Amaya-san, her eyes growing huge. I had deduced that she didn't like conflict. An odd person to choose a shinobi's life, I had thought.

Isamu-san grunted innocuously. He seemed to have realized just how agitated she had become.

"Come on… we're going again really soon." He reached out and grabbed her hand. Something in my head clicked. …The way she accepted his palm… tenderly. They were lovers.

I had never held anyone's hand before. I didn't think I ever would.

"Just… wait…" said Amaya-san, distractedly rummaging around her pack back. She pulled a small jar of salve out and gave it to me. "You never said if you wanted it, but I insist you use this. It works on anything… Is a disinfectant, too. It will probably sting, but it's better then getting sick or never healing," she said breathlessly. She visibly tightened her fingers around Isamu-san's.

"See you soon… And sorry again, I truly am." She left with him, leaning her head on his shoulder.

I watched her go, feeling oddly empty.

"Fill it with a BLAST!" said the "BANG". I shook my head, dropping the shmoo onto the moist grass. It was grayish in colour and was shaped like a ridged dime. The river was probably joined to a lake farther up West. That was how that ancient piece of clay had been borne down to me.

I was about to flick it back into the water, when I decided otherwise and stowed it into one of the front pockets of my backpack. My cold fingers brushed past the letter again, and I made a mental note to look at it that night.

...:Hours Later:..

Cell #78 of mission 5075 arrived at Seidai no Sato at twenty minutes past nine. We stuck out. The whole town looked as though it needed a serious clean-up. I had been surprised at the state it was in; I had thought the closer to fertile grounds, the better the income. The village's name meant "prosperous", for goodness sake! But it seemed that inside the walls, life was suppressed and dying. To complete the gloomy picture, there were dark clouds converging overhead.

Children with eyes as listless and hollow as my clay sculptures' peered out from behind their parents' legs. The atmosphere carried a hint of subdued excitement. Things were eerily quite. There were no voices to be heard, just the pattering of feet on the dusty paths.

We passed between tall, slanted houses that loomed over the dirt path we were following. Most of them were in disrepair and a few even looked abandoned. Plastic flapped in the breeze around broken windows that smiled like the few fake jack-o-lanterns scattered in front of the filthy storefronts. I had forgotten it was Halloween. Though, it was a foreign holiday which few knew about.

Yet again, I wondered how this place had become isolated and desolate. It should have been on a main trade route or something… but if it had been, then it would have also been a prominent highlight on the map.

I looked skywards, past the South wall. The mountain range that made communication with all of the other ninja nations so difficult towered imposingly in the distance. It was nothing compared to its size up close.

Thunder boomed out, threatening us with imminent rain. It shook me to my core, reverberating deep in the scarred earth below.

Kazuki-san maintained a stoic face. He charged ahead purposefully. I hoped he at least knew where we were going.

Ten minutes into our walk through the village and we were standing in front of the most dilapidated hotel I had seen in my life. It was only two stories high, and spread across a few lots that looked as though they had been recently torn down to make room for the hotel's renovations. The East wing of the building leaned tiredly towards the mountains in front of it, as though it had been reaching for their pristine peaks and finally given up hope. Plaster lay in derelict piles around the walls, left where it fallen from the outside. The whole place was painted an eye-bleeding shade of pink. Toshi-san finally managed to bestow us all with her opinion.

"Nice paint job," she sneered, though even she seemed a bit put-off. I smirked through the layers of salve pasted on my lips. (It had helped soothe them considerably.) I would have no problem staying at that place for the night. I was itching to see how the others would react when they saw the most likely grubby interior. And anyways… I had slept in worse places before.

Kazuki-san, still keeping his indifference intact, pushed open one of the grimy glass-front doors and stepped inside. We all made suit and followed after him.

At first I couldn't see anything. The hotel was so dark that I was momentarily blinded even after coming out of the early stages of twilight. When my cerulean eyes adjusted to the dim lighting I could make out a desk with a solitary lamp that looked like its bulb was going to die at any given moment. The stripy, peeling, green wallpaper was just as revolting as the building's exterior. But… I tried to suppress that idea, thinking I wasn't one to talk, in my own obscene clothing…

It took me a second to notice the few sullen concierges lolling around behind the desk. All of them just stared at us, looking ridiculous in their moldy red uniforms.

"H-e-e-e-luuu?" said Toshi-san, tapping her toe impatiently. "How often is it that you guys get guests with…" One of the hotel workers with a particularly moth-eaten coat got up and shouldered his way past me and Suzume-chan. The "BANG" had been silent up until this point, but now it grew irritated.

"What does he think he's…?" I said sharply.

"I think we ought to follow him?" said Kazuki-san, not sounding too sure himself. With no conformation on the matter, we tore after the fading footsteps of the rogue concierge. The echo left in his wake took us up the only flight of stairs, which was actually much higher than any of us had anticipated. It spiraled onwards, seemingly endless until we broke out onto a velvet-carpeted landing. I caught a vague glimpse of the tails of the hotel staff's jacket before it whipped out of sight beyond a bend. We slowed down as his footfalls stopped. The diminutive man stood in front of a door labeled "65". Kazuki-san was the first to approach him.

"Will we need to be paying now, or in the morning…?" The concierge pressed one lone key into Kazuki-san's loose fist. "…Uh, we kind of need at _least_ two rooms…" He looked around awkwardly. The concierge shook his head feebly and turned around, running down the hall again. Hisoka-san looked as though he were going to freak out.

"Go back! Get him to give us another key! We're paying here!" he shouted. Everyone's heads turned to him. He glared around at the confused faces. Toshi-san also appeared indignant.

"No. I don't think that's such a good idea," sighed Kazuki-san, thrusting the key into its rightful slot. "If you haven't noticed, something's definitely not right here. Last time I was here this village wasn't looking so good, but it's really bad now." The lock clicked, and the door swung inwards on its hinges. I was surprised it didn't creak.

"But that's the slums for ya," said Shin-san unexpectedly. Toshi-san punched him hard in the shoulder.

"It wasn't that way before, Baka! This place should be prospering like its stupid name," she frowned.

"Yeah, I know!" he said defensively. "But it's been this way ever since I remember it. I lived here for a month. Duh!"

I stopped listening as soon as I stepped through the chipped door frame. The acrid scent of cigarette smoke was immediately ostensible. There was ONE bed in the room, a nightstand missing a leg, and a table with a couple of chairs and a freshly used ashtray sitting on one of them. It looked as though someone had sat on a chair, propped their legs up on another, and dipped each used cancer-stick into the small pot on a third stool. The scarlet walls were adorned with cheap, copied paintings of still-life. The floor was made of scratched marble; a shadow of its former glory. One clock that had long ceased ticking rested over the headboard of the woolen bed. A single foggy window framed the darkness enveloping us from the outside. The room looked very much like it had been an employees' lounge.

"Ah, yeah right," said Toshi-san, sweeping the room with a contemptuous glance. "I'll take the floor, thanks." There were several agreeing mumbles from the others who had filed in.

"And I had half expected we'd have to flip a coin…" said Hisoka-san, rolling his cold eyes.

"I'll take the bed!" cried Shin-san, looking jubilant.

"Sure, if you want to become a louse house in your sleep," mused Toshi-san. Shin-san said nothing. Toshi-san started to laugh. I heard her mutter something about: "…Must already be one…", before I turned to Kazuki-san.

"Listen…" I said, pulling him aside slightly. "I'm just… going to get a look outside until these guys quite down a bit…hmm…" I tried to sound casual.

"Oh, no way! You're not going anywhere again!" said Kazuki-san, his voice rising. I made shushing motions.

"Hey, I just want to go on the roof, or something…" I put my hands up; choosing to ignore the way Kazuki-san's eyes followed them wherever they went. "Would you feel any better if I took someone else with me, hmm?" He considered my proposal.

"Okay. But you're only going on the roof, and I want you back within the hour; we're going to try to order takeout in about fifteen minutes."

"Yeah!" I smiled innocently.

"So… are we going now?" said a voice from behind me. I turned, my mouth slightly open. Suzume-chan stood there, her shoulders slouching.

"E-yeah…" I hadn't had her in mind. I felt so… terrible. I had wanted to bring Amaya-san, as I would have been able to examine the note in her presence. The "BANG" shrieked in protest, telling me I didn't need to care about anyone's feelings but my own.

A deep, guttural rumble began to throb through the air. It grew in decibels until it reached an almost unbearable climax and died. Then the almost indistinct patter of rain began drumming on the roof. It picked up intensity within seconds, beginning to beat down with a new vigor.

"Oh… no…" I heard the blond kunoichi say quietly. I looked where she was pointing. Water had begun to run down the top of the walls where they joined the ceiling. It bled through the paper, further helping it to part company from the wall. Puddles were rapidly growing on the cool floor, some soaking into sleeping bags that had already been set up.

"Uh… I don't think we should go any more," I grimaced, glancing back at Suzume-chan. "Sorry." She looked crestfallen, but having just gotten dry; I didn't wish to get wet once more.

Hit with a new inspiration, I walked back to Kazuki-san, who had drifted away again, and asked,

"Is there a washroom here?" He didn't question me.

"Well, yes, I expect so. How am I supposed to know where it is?" I just shrugged.

I left the room quickly, eager to escape from the team. There weren't a lot of rooms down on the West wing, so I didn't have many options.

After walking past four consecutive doors I found an ancient one on the right with a barely legible sign that had an unappealing squatter toilet insignia inscribed on it. The kanji for men was written below the ugly picture.

My nose wrinkled as I approached the door and tentatively tested it. There was something suspicious and brown coating the bottom of it, as though there had been a flood within the bowels inside.

Pinching my nose, I stepped into the most macabre scene I had ever witnessed before. The floor was mercifully… clean. But of all the porcelain bathroom… implements, there was not one I could spot that wasn't coated in an interesting sort of crust. There were no windows, just one dusty bulb hanging from a chain on the ceiling. I gagged on the fumes wafting out of the drains. My eyes watered from the stench.

Grabbing some paper towels from a role, I set layers of them on the patch of tile I could find farthest from the cubicles. I sat down feeling very chagrined. What an excellent place for shinobi work.

I took off my backpack, set it down beside me, and pulled out the slip of paper tucked in one of the front pockets. The shmoo accidentally came out with it. Fingering the rock in my right hand, I examined the note.

"Firstly," I thought. "Is this an already existing code with a key, or was this one made from scratch…? Is this even a code?" My palm-mouth began to lick at the shmoo.

It was going to be a long night.


	13. Freedom of Ignorance

**Freedom of Ignorance**

BANG!

BANG, **BANG**!

_I could hear art. I was art. I could feel it dying_._ I was dying._

I smiled lazily.

_I was on a cloud of clay. I was flying… high above the unyielding earth and troubles below._

My grin faltered.

_But it was an awfully hard cloud… I readjusted my position. _

_"Hmm…"_

"What the heck are you doing in there? Open up, open the flipping door!"

I sat up so fast that the top of my head hit a towel dispenser above me. I swore, groping around for the switch somewhere along the wall. I found it and the next moment sickly white light was spilling over the grotesque bathroom. I had fallen asleep trying to decode the missive in the dark.

I was now even sorer than I had been before. And I was hungrier than heck; my stomach was on fire. I had tried to extricate the rock shards again last night, but had been no more successful than the time before that. I had instead put dollops of salve on the still open wounds.

I stiffly got up from the floor, shouldering my backpack and tucking the note away again. I had made progress. I was pretty sure the first few lines read: _"I remember what you showed me, and I'm sorry… but I really don't know for what. You know I can try to forget, but it won't happen. I only had a suggestion, so I don't…"_ The rest was still indecipherable, as the code seemed to change every few words. And the bit I had figured out made no sense at all to me. It was ambiguous and could be seriously misinterpreted, but I knew better than to come to hasty conclusions.

I unlocked the door, standing aside as it slammed inwards. Hisoka-san stood twitching in the dusty light. He looked like he was going to fall apart at any given moment. His hair was disheveled and his eyes held a crazed gleam in them. I narrowed my own azure orbs.

"What's your problem?" I yawned. "I just fell asleep, get over it, hmm."

"We're going to get breakfast!" he yelled. I could feel his stale breath on my face. This was not the reserved, calm Hisoka-san I knew. He was totally exploding with emotion.

I gave him a strange look, pushing past him.

"Yeah, food, hmm…"

"Phew, you smell like… crap," he said, moving away from me.

"Yeah, well, that's what happens when you… fall asleep in a crapper-room," I said, reviving my cynical demeanor.

"How the… How did you fall asleep in there?" He licked his lips, observing my own chapped ones.

"Think, think, think!" I told myself furiously.

"I was washing my hands and I think I hit my head on a soap dispenser and conked out." I immediately regretted my ill-conceived excuse. I hastily closed the door behind me, hoping Hisoka-san hadn't seen the paper towels on the floor.

"You said you fell asleep…" said Hisoka-san, glaring suspiciously.

"I did!" I implored. "I was sort of half awake, and then… I just fell asleep, or got knocked out, whatever you want to call it…" In his distracted state, Hisoka-san seemed willing to let the matter rest. I wondered if he was recovering from a hangover.

"Food!" I trilled, skipping a bit. I gave him a sidelong look to see his reaction.

Hisoka-san seemed to be too caught up in the stink of ammonia to pay any attention. And there was something very tense in the air that I couldn't quite explain. A feeling of resentful animosity that had surfaced within the last few days hovered around him like a fetid cloud rivaling my own stench. The fissure separating me from Hisoka-san, the very one I had tried to keep just wide enough that it was comfortable, so that I might be able to leap across in times of dire need, had split into a gaping maw of hate. That was how I took it, anyway.

"Take a shower," he scowled, edging ahead of me when we reached our room.

"Where?" I said, disbelievingly. "Not until I eat something!" I groaned, frowning at his back.

I ran to catch up with him. Hisoka-san had already left me behind and started down the stairs. I tore down them, almost tripping on the last step.

There were the concierges, sitting mutely behind their little desk, and outside I could vaguely see my team through the greasy doors. I burst out into the fresh air, not acknowledging the hotel staff. I gulped the oxygen down thankfully.

"Oh, me-oh, my…" said Isamu-san smugly. The others began to notice my odor. I heard a few colourful adjectives describing just what I was and smelt like.

"… And came out of… drainage pipe in Leaf Village… where those… buried their… murderous Kage…" Kazuki-san gave a roll of his eyes reminiscent from the day before.

"Let's go find somewhere to eat!" I said loudly, trying to block out the vehement exclamations.

We started walking again, briskly this time; there was no lingering. We came to a musty ramen stand, surprisingly open in the wee hours of the morning. I estimated it was somewhere around 5:00.a.m. Even if it was early, it had been extremely beneficial to get some sleep before. Now I only had to deal with the gnawing hunger that clawed around my gut.

The pasty seller inspected me distrustfully as I ordered yakitori and ramen. It was as though he were expecting me to somehow cheat him out of his money. I didn't; I used almost all of the cash I had left. I didn't think about paying back debts or saving as I gobbled down the noodles like a starving man eating his first meal in weeks. (Not too far away from the truth, unfortunately.) It didn't matter, anyway. Though, I had no idea at the time… **there wasn't going to be a return in which I could repay anyone.**

It took me no time at all to inhale several more bowls of steaming food. When I was finished I made to lean back, and forgetting I was on a stool, almost fell off. I recovered myself halfway through my dive. The owner saw my hands as my arms wind milled about, and promptly made to close up shop. Everyone was forced to get up; paper bowls still in hand, and leave the place.

I sulked behind the group as we retreated. I knew they were thinking about me. I knew they were angry with me. Except for Amaya-san… and Suzume-chan. They would have some empathy, at least!

The "BANG" didn't care if anyone had pity or understanding to spare. That half of me was still set on flying and blowing things up.

I was glad to be well-shod of Seidai no Sato. The place seemed to sap off of my imagination to make up for its pitiful inventiveness. As soon as we stepped through the South gate, a new tension was evident.

Slowly, the pace began to pick up. Kazuki-san seemed to be the driving force behind it. We all followed him, gaining velocity. Soon we were full-out running. I thought it was stupid that he chose the second day of our mission to procrastinate with the speed. We should have maintained an average rate for the first two days… then we'd already have been… wherever we had to be. I hadn't been paying attention to where that exactly was...

I felt sick. I had just eaten and was now giving it everything I had. It was a better feeling than being empty and doing the same, though.

Hours began to slip away. The whole universe felt like it was made of pounding blood and harsh panting. Footfalls slapped monotonously against rock. Gravel crunched perpetually beneath me. I watched it pass, my mouth agape. It almost felt like the same strip of ground was replaying itself over and over again in front of my eyes. I hurt, I hurt, I hurt! That was all I could hear and feel; pain and the steady rasp of air rushing down my raw throat. I hated myself for not training appropriately for this mission.

I didn't see much besides the earth, but whenever I twisted my sore neck upwards to get a bearing of my surroundings, they seemed to be slanting upwards. We were constantly climbing. The trees had begun to disperse again, along with all sentient beings. I saw a scrawny cougar disappearing into the half-dead shrub once, but besides that, there was nothing living. And the mountains… that vast range of seemingly impenetrable stone, was getting larger with every hour. But, still… _It wasn't quick enough! _

It seemed as though a century of torture and stone had passed before I sensed a slight change in the mood. Things were… if I wasn't imagining it, slowing down! The atmosphere had lost some of its hopelessness.

Shin-san suddenly collapsed. The rest of us skidded to a stop, turning back to him. He lay in a heaving pile on the dry trail. He lifted his head weakly.

"I-I… I'm not… not a… sprinter…" he gasped, turning his blackish eyes down. "Can run forever… just-just not that fast!" He grimaced. The whole front and back of his T-shirt was soaked with sweat. The salty liquid ran through his fair eyebrows and down his face in rivers.

Toshi-san, looking exasperated, poured one of her three water bottles' contents on his head.

"I could have drank that!" he managed to bark between his puffing. I half-expected a grammar correction from Amaya-san.

"Nuh uh… you've got your… own…" she wheezed.

"Break… yes, a break!" said Kazuki-san, slumping onto the dirt. There were no arguments as everyone fell into relaxed poses. Kazuki-san seemed to have just realized that he had pushed us too hard. The only person who looked unfazed by the pace we had been clocking at was Hisoka-san. But he still looked ruffled in the same way as before. He noticed my stare, and shot me a venomous glare that would have killed if looks could do that. I averted my gaze, trying to be unnaturally contrite.

I decided to watch Amaya-san for the time being. She was talking animatedly with Isamu-san. They both seemed to have recovered themselves by now. I looked down at my hands, feeling like a stalker.

Then, all of a sudden I heard the sound of rock rustling past earth. It was the discreet tinkling of no more than three pebbles going down a slant.

I shuffled around from the position I had swayed into, staring at an embankment of boulders that was behind me. Every one of my senses was pinpointed on that one area. Something was out of place.

Suzume-chan, who had been taking a swig from her canteen, followed my eyes sharply, the bottle still held to her lips. She looked both ways, before mouthing the words,

"I heard something earlier. Take a look?" She cocked her head, nodding furtively. I blinked, mirroring her.

We both got up in almost the same fluid movement. I saw her drop the container, before her knees bent and she leapt over the mount. I followed her in one swift bound. I heard the others cry out in shock and confusion in the background, but I was suddenly confronted with a new dilemma.

In front of me Suzume-chan grappled with a shinobi. Some foreign one, too, judging by the clothing of the intruder. I saw thin brown hair and feral eyes from beneath a turban-sort of thing wrapped around the other's head. An unnaturally long and wicked kunai glimmered from their hand.

I hit the ground, crouching low and thrusting my hands into the pouches at my waist. Suzume-chan tried to grab the ninja by his hair… her hair. The wrappings fell away, and the person, who was revealed to be a teenaged kunoichi, jerked away from her. I saw a headband with an hourglass on it, before the shinobi was right in my face. Palm-mouths working furiously, I released a pair of birds into the pandemonium. I did a backwards flip, nearly ripping a few muscles in the process, to escape from my next hastily planned move. Putting my hands together and doing a few lightening fast mathematical calculations, I roared,

"Katsu!"

The birds detonated at precisely the right distance from the Sand shinobi, sending her hurtling away. Suzume-chan jumped up, and in midair, landed a kick to the girl's head, countering her momentum. She crumpled into a heap at the foot of the knoll and didn't move. The knife clattered down among a cluster of rocks.

I ran up to her still body, internally bemoaning my taijutsu again. I picked up a ropey wrist, putting two of my fingers against the tendons visible through her skin. I felt nothing.

"I hope you didn't kill her! Are you okay?" I said hoarsely to Suzume-chan.

"No! I mean, I'm fine! If she's dead, it's because you blew her up!" she said, horror written across her face.

"It's not my fault!" I said, panicking. "I predicted the correct distance to hit her without destroying her! Look, no burns!" I swept my free hand through the air.

Then… I felt it; a pulse! I fell back with a sigh of relief. I didn't want her death on either of our consciences. I had killed before… but that had only been once. I never forgot that person's face. Still, I couldn't shake off the disturbing feeling that the "BANG" would have liked another full-scale explosion. I staved it off with the reasoning that another body to my count would slow the mission down.

"What? Is she alive?" said Suzume-chan, bouncing on her heels beside me. It looked like she was getting weak at the knees

"Yeah, hmm."

"Phew… I was really scared there for a moment… But it wouldn't have been my fault. I avoided all vital veins and arteries, thanks." Suzume-chan watched me, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, so did I!" I said defensively.

Heads peeked around the top of the hill, and the rest of our team appeared silently around us.

"No way…" said Kazuki-san… in a shocked whisper. "This person… couldn't have been following us… For how long?" He babbled disbelievingly. "You guys are alright?"

"Oh… a Sunagakure shinobi," said his friend, the blond girl. She approached the prone figure lying among the rocks, picking her way delicately through the debris left from the fray. Of all the people surrounding me at the moment, I knew the least about her.

The Iwa kunoichi leaned over the Sand ninja. Blond ringlets fell around her face as she examined the outsider.

"This person… isn't with her nation anymore," she said, after a pensive moment.

"How do you know?" asked several people at once. She observed them all indifferently, as though trying to decide if they were worth an answer.

"She has a lot of interesting goods on her person. Like these…" she held up a small sack that had been tied to the girl's belt, turning it upside down in her hand. When she held the contents up to the light, sparkling gems could be seen glinting ostentatiously. Toshi-san let out an audible gasp before stifling it.

"…And this woman…" continued the blond "...has a lot of food and supplies not needed for short-term missions. Where are her teammates?" she said, cocking her head strangely. "She looks like a rogue ninja on the run. She must have grabbed everything she could carry before escaping."

The odd use of the word "escaping" perturbed me slightly.

"…Why else would she be so heavily burdened? Why else would she be here? It's forbidden for shinobi from other nations to cross borders unless authorized. And let's face it; it's no easy feat to pass over the mountains."

"Why was she following us… or whatever, then?" said Amaya-san, looking nervous.

"Why indeed," said the blond, smiling vaguely. She stepped away, picking up the discarded kunai. "I suggest you guys take her weapons and deal with restraining her before she wakes up."

Kazuki-san grabbed some scratchy-looking, thick rope from his satchel. I knew it was a special kind of shinobi-proof one. With help from Isamu-san and Shin-san, he tied her wrists and ankles together. It was almost… cruel how tight he bound the knots.

I stood around unhelpfully, fighting myself again. I almost regretted I heard that Suna shinobi.

"Who's going to carry this girl, hmm?" I finally spoke, voicing a concern. "What are you planning to do with her? If I know anything of customs and laws, shouldn't she be free if she managed to cross the Land of Wind's borders? She's no longer under their dictatorship." Toshi-san looked up from the third knot she was finishing.

"Maybe… But if we get her back over the border, she'll be fair game for a bounty. No village wants their ninja running around unchecked. There's always a reward for catching the rogue ones."

"That's ridiculous, hmm!" I spat, feeling offended by the very idea of getting money for condemning a person.

"He's got a point," said Hisoka-san. I glanced at him. He glared at me. "We can't cross the border just to give Sunagakure their shinobi back. We'd have to go through Amegakure, or one of the uncharted minor countries before we even reached the Land of Wind! That's a _massive_ detour. There's no way we can reach Kaze no Kuni in a short amount of time… "

My gaze hardened on Hisoka-san.

"…Besides, it has nothing to do with the mission." He finished speaking, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"Hey, missing-nin are really useful, too," said Isamu-san. "Do you really think the Tsuchikage is going to want to let this girl go? We could possibly be giving Suna back their personal information, like kekkei genkais and chakra types… seriously; we'd be in big trouble if we returned this shinobi."

Kazuki-san searched the faces arrayed around him. He seemed to be looking for more suggestions.

"We… can't carry her, I think. We're almost at the base of the mountains, but it'll still slow us down considerably…" he said slowly.

"We… we could try sealing her…"

Everyone looked around to see who had spoken. Amaya-san was clenching her fists and staring at her feet.

"Huh? But who's good enough to seal a human being?" asked Suzume-chan, looking horrified. "And even if we do seal her, what're we going to do once we come back for her?"

"We could let the jounins deal with that… There are a few on the return party, I heard. And… I can perform a human seal," said Amaya-san quietly.

"Where in the world did you learn that, hmm?" I asked, widening my eyes, surprised again.

"From my… mother. She used it in the last war. I was eight when she began to teach me. She used it against the Konohagakure shinobi when she caught them and needed to store them on the battlefield. They were used for interrogation later on."

Kazuki-san nodded.

"That was a terrible time…" He rubbed his arms unconsciously, as though remembering the deep scars in them anew.

Hisoka-san turned an unsightly shade of purple at the mention of the Third Secret Ninja War. It was common knowledge that his father, Sakiyama, Kakko, had been killed on a mission to protect a bridge that went to Kusagakure from the Konohagakure shinobi. Apparently his murderer was a very well-known jounin… who was only thirteen at the time. Hisoka-san would never get over the humiliation and anger he felt towards the Leaf Village. He had wanted to avenge his father's death when the Kyubi devastation hit Konoha two years later, as that would have been when the village was at its weakest, but Tsuchikage-sama hadn't allowed an invasion of any kind. We had been eight at the time.

"Well, I can't think of anything better to do. This is rather unexpected… It's really perturbing that we didn't notice her sooner… And I'm lost on why this girl would want to go through the trouble of climbing the mountains to get here… she must have taken the old Kusagakure pass… But why didn't she stay there?" said Kazuki-san. Nobody had an answer.

"Go ahead… If you can seal her somewhere safe until we come back, do so. We'll be back in a day or so, anyway." Amaya-san looked towards Isamu-san who gave her a fortifying smile.

She came forward, kneeling down beside the shinobi. She put her palm against one of the kunoichi's limp, bound hands.

"What're you doing?" asked Shin-san. Amaya-san looked hesitant, but she answered,

"Drawing out chakra to analyze it. I need to figure out what kind of chakra she has before I bind her to a material of the same element. There's a tenketsu point deep in our hands..."

I knew that already. I felt my left palm-mouth clench its teeth.

Amaya-san closed her eyes, furrowing her brow.

"Okay… I'm pretty sure it's… Wind chakra… no surprises there." She got up, staring into some space above the hillock's top. "I need something of the wind… come on…" My eyes flickered left and right.

"But… the wind isn't a tangible substance…" I said quietly.

"Then find something that was in the wind."

Isamu-san bent down and rooted among a crevice in between the stones.

"Will this work?" he asked. He held up a feather that looked like it had come from a pigeon.

"How'd you find that, hmm?" I asked incredulously. He didn't answer me, just passed the feather to Amaya-san. She took it gently.

"I guess this is as close as we can get…" she said anxiously. "Now… I need everyone out of here…is that okay?"

"Yeah…" said Kazuki-san, raising an eyebrow. He turned and climbed over the mound back onto the path. I frowned, following reluctantly behind the others. I noticed that Isamu-san didn't come after me.

There was some indistinguishable exchange between the two, muffled by the rock and dirt. Then there was silence. Nobody could see what was happening. Some people, like Toshi-san and Shin-san craned their necks, attempting to see over the top. I heard muttering coming from the other side, then a grunt of pain. …Then smoke came pouring up into the sky from Amaya-san and Isamu-san's position.

Suzume-chan and I both looked at Kazuki-san for approval. We felt responsible for the rogue shinobi. He nodded, calling out as we flew back over the hill,

"We're coming. Is everything alright?"

There was no answer.

When I crossed over with Suzume-chan there was no grisly scene of blood and catastrophe like I had half expected. There was nothing. Just Amaya-san and Isamu-san sitting on the bumpy earth and looking shocked. The cloud began to diffuse and disperse. I saw Amaya-san holding the feather in between her thumb and forefinger. She was deathly pale and seemed to be sick.

"It's okay…" she said, waving a concerned Isamu-san off. "It… just takes a lot of energy…"

"Hey," said Shin-san, appearing beside the blond girl. "We could take her with us now, couldn't we…? I mean…" He bent forward. "…It worked, right?"

"Yes… it did," said Amaya-san uncomfortably. She put the shiny feather into her backpack without asking for permission. I could see she felt an overwhelming amount of guilt and liability.

"We should get going, then. This break has been far too long," Kazuki-san said, examining his watch.

Amaya-san took Isamu-san's hand for comfort. I could have sworn I heard her whisper,

"I wish I didn't tell them I could do that…"

...:Hours Passed:...

I realized just how tight shinobi were grounded to their villages after my first encounter with a missing-nin. It scared me… It was almost like the moment you put on your hitai-ate, you were dedicating yourself to a lifetime of slavery. There were such things as wandering shinobi, who still paid allegiances to their villages and could travel their country. However, they still couldn't cross borders. It was another of those illusions of freedom.

My life was beginning to feel like one big cover-up… and things were going to get worse. It was like someone had taken the blinds away and allowed me to see everything for the first time. Shinobi were bound to their villages like slaves. Their secrets, their heritage, their bloodlines didn't belong to them, but to their place of origin. That was why, according to Kazuki-san and Isamu-san, we couldn't return that kunoichi. Just like a lost possession found by someone other than the owner, she was now the property of Iwagakure.

As I ran in formation again, I wondered what Amaya-san knew besides human sealing. It was amazing and mortifying that a child could have learned such a technique.

There seemed to be a lot of scary after-affects cropping up out of the past war. I had been six at the time, and didn't remember much… except for one lone memory in particular that never seemed to go away. Seemingly insignificant, it haunted me forever.

_I had been kneeling down to breakfast two days after my birthday. Takumi-sama was going to head out on a war mission that afternoon. It could have been the last time I'd have ever seen him._

_I could still smell the oatmeal he was preparing when there had been a frantic knock on the door._

_It was strange how Takumi-sama had seemed to hold his breath before opening the panels. I had sneaked down the hall to see who was there. Grandpa Takumi-sama had been blocking part of the frame… but I saw them; a pair of worn, tired looking shinobi. I only remembered parts of their faces. Blue eyes, brown hair, jounin uniforms... There had been a man and a woman. Both had seemed to be aged beyond their years by conflict and stress._

_Takumi-sama's head snapped around when he heard my footsteps, and he had appeared angrier than I'd ever seen him before. There was such agony written on his face; it was terrible._

_He had called me, and stunned, I had come up to the doorstep and gazed into the faces of the strange shinobi. Their features were hard to grasp for long. There had been a shifting quality about them. But they had given me the… weirdest look I had ever received. Was... was it love? Takumi-sama had said,_

"Look well upon these two, Deidara-kun. They are going to die today. These are the bravest of shinobi. Grow up to be like them… and your parents will be proud."

_I had stared at them with big eyes. The female ninja had said something that sounded reproving to Takumi-sama, and he had then shunted me away to my room and locked the door. The two shinobi had called to me as I was pushed away. I didn't know why… but they had said_,

"Goodbye, Deidara."

_And the emotion in their voices... it had been a shock like icy water to the brain._

The memories were clouded by years and the ignorance of my view at the time, but they were somehow important. That had been my only half-clear recollection of war. It made me feel… oddly warm and cold at the same time. …Almost… as though… there was a future for me.


	14. The End Begins

**The End Begins**

We ran… the pace had been more merciful than before… but it still took a lot out of us. It had been five hours since we reached the foothills of the unnamed mountains. We had leapt through pathless ravines and gullies, steadily climbing the harsh mountains. I thought gladly of how I hadn't been in the original retrieval party… if I had, then I'd have had to carry all of those weapons up the other side of the mountain, like Takumi-sama now had to. I understood why this had been such a long mission for him; trade agreements and papers that needed signing were the least of his problems.

The mountains were larger-then-life. It felt as though we were traveling up the back of a sleeping giant, ready to rear up and shake us off. The footing was unstable most of the time, and getting sick rushes of excitement, I often wondered how many lives the twisted sentinels had claimed.

Darkness had fallen and engulfed the valleys of stone in a cold, merciless blanket of uncertainty. The stars felt close enough that one might reach out and touch them.

We had covered several particularly deadly gorges, but upon the fourth, Kazuki-san stopped and had the rest of us halt.

"We're just about at the designated meeting point. We're an hour late, though, so we'll be passing over this hole to make up time. We're going to be taking an easier route on the way back, but it's essential that we arrive at the base camp at no later then 12:00a.m." His gaze swept over the group assembled around him. "Are you all ready? This is one big crack we'll be taking on." An understatement. The thing facing us was a gaping chasm! It was running towards us in a vertical pointing split, with narrow ledges on either side of the abyss and walls of stone leaning against them.

There were murmurs of consent from the others. Kazuki-san nodded. Without further ado, he began a brisk walk towards the ledges.

There was plenty of room at first, but the left side which he had chosen began to dwindle into a thinner foothold as the rock pressing against his back grew closer and the pit below consumed the ledge.

In single file the rest of the team began to follow. I ended up somewhere between Hisoka-san and Suzume-chan. Hisoka-san was behind me, and when I looked back every once and awhile to see how far I had gotten, he shot me acrimonious expressions.

My stomach felt as though it were disappearing every moment I took to glance down past my feet at the blackness below. There was no visible end to it, and every time a clumsily placed step dislodged a stone, there was no resounding echo from it hitting the bottom of the pit.

I desperately wanted to summon myself a bird of clay and fly over the all-consuming crevice… to… escape the helpless sort of fear of falling. The height didn't bother me, only the aloneness I felt from my separation from the clay. I reminded myself that I could still use chakra to climb if necessary. And as I watched my clammy feet shuffle along the foothold, I told myself, somewhere deep down, not to be _entirely _reliant on my exploding clay. I still had some mediocre taijutsu, skills with other explosives, and rapid improv thinking. Yeah, I'd be fine, I reasoned.

I had reached the halfway point and dared to look around past Suzume-chan at the ledge ahead. It was gone. Wasted down to nothingness was a five foot gap in front of Kazuki-san. Gazing at the ledge on the opposite side of the chasm, I saw why he had preferred this side. The other had a twelve foot section missing.

The situation brought a memory floating back to the surface of my mind. When I had first seen the end of the "safe" ledge, I had experienced the same feeling as when I had been participating in the chunin exams three years ago. They had been held in Takigakure, as Iwagakure was still in a state of mutual conflict with Konohagakure.

I remembered that in the third stage of the exam I had been caught in the waterfall level of the maze beneath the ground. The whole place had been a genjutsu constructed with the utmost level of convincing effects.

Suzume-chan and I had been separated from Kazuki-san, and part of the exam stated that we stick together no matter what. Panicking, we had run blindly in circles, 'till Kazuki-san had seemingly turned up between two showers of cascading water. Being so relieved, we had both let our guards down and I had ended up stabbed in the guts by a fellow genin disguised as him.

In the terrible agony, the genjutsu broke only on me, and I found myself standing with my toes over the edge of a gently dripping waterfall that fell away into darkness. With all blinds taken off of my senses, I had been able to defeat the genin with absurd ease considering my condition. But having seen how close I had come to death had totally drained me.

We had passed the exam, of course- reconnected with Kazuki-san, and all- but it had taken me a few days to entirely shake off the stomach wrenching feeling that had nothing to do with the rusty pipe embedded in my midriff and the tetanus shot that had made me very ill. Being so close to the unknown… and having not even realized it… Now that had been a scary… almost fortifying sensation. (Yeah, the two can coexist in my understanding.)

So it was back on the forefront of a new struggle that the memory had randomly popped up.

Kazuki-san swayed slightly, turning his head stiffly to look back on the rest of his team.

"You can all jump this, right?" he made the question sound like an order. Nobody answered him; all seemed too absorbed in hugging the wall to give any kind of consent. "It's no big deal," said Kazuki-san, as though pleading for a reply. Yet again, none came.

He took a few more steps towards the hole. He gaped down it in open awe. Behind him, Shin-san followed, but Kazuki-san threw up a hand to ward him off. Precariously, he began to back up, and seeing what he was doing, Shin-san also retreated.

Kazuki-san was a good ten feet away from the missing bit of ledge before he started forward. His footfalls sent pebbles and sheets of slate spiraling down from their safety. I watched him with an unhealthy fascination, as he reached the edge and took off, leaping into a shallow arc and landing on the other side. His fingers scrabbled desperately against the rock wall, then, finally finding a secure cranny for his right hand, he looked back on the rest of us.

"Come on." He edged along to give some more space.

Shin-san, who had been behind Kazuki-san, began to shake.

"No… no, I don't want to…" he muttered, attempting to back away. Toshi-san jabbed an assertive finger towards him.

"Go!" she commanded.

"I… I really suck… I hate jumping… I can't run…" he said disjointedly.

"I'm gonna push you off if you don't get out of my way!" said Toshi-san, sounding like she was only half-joking. Being in such a volatile position wasn't doing any good on the group's nerves.

"No, you won't be pushing him off!" said Kazuki-san, shouting from his perch. "Now let's go... You can do it."

After five full minutes of persuasion, forceful and otherwise, Shin-san finally made it, and everyone else followed. I watched Suzume-chan sail over the crevice with no difficulty whatsoever. And, picking up on the waves of unpleasant feelings from Hisoka-san, I made no spectacle of crossing the missing ledge.

Taking only two steps back, I lunged forward, driving chakra to my legs and kicking off from the unstable corner. I flew over open space. My eyes moved downwards involuntarily, and I saw the inky blackness pressing up from the abyss below, threatening to pull me down with it. Then I landed heavily on my right foot, three feet from the hole that had been challenging me.

Sighing, I made to follow the others who were already ahead of me, not bothering to look back at Hisoka-san.

Shin-san almost collapsed when he reached solid mountain again after Kazuki-san. I nearly laughed at the face he was making. Getting over the obstacle had put me in a sadistic, good mood.

"Only a kilometer… until we reach camp," proclaimed Kazuki-san.

"Yeah, yeah, all good…" I said exasperatedly. I was getting bored of his constant status reports… and he didn't feel like the person I had spent over a year with on a genin cell. In my sarcastic state I didn't really care about how close we were to the designation. I wanted to go back to Iwagakure and experiment some more with my kibaku nendo. Maybe give it colour when it exploded… yeah.

Kazuki-san pretended not to have heard my smart comment.

We were pressing on again. Kazuki-san led as usual… and as I ran, bolting forward in quick movements, then lazily drifting back into formation, I let my mind dwell on the unpleasant prospect of the return trip. A needless worry, but how was I to know at the time…?

I found myself staring at the ground again, though given the speed at which I was running, and the amount of time it took for my eyes to pick up movement, I didn't see much. When I registered this fact at last, I looked ahead of me again only to see the others slowing down.

I had pretty good chakra control, so I boosted my senses with some chakra to confirm a suspicion. It took me a few seconds to first smell, then hear the people concealed amongst the boulders. They were good… would have been able to remain undetectable if not for their numbers. I could pick up the scent of faint body odor… and slow, calm heartbeats. Their frequencies varied to the point of them all being distinguishable as separate people. Around fifteen of them. One tune of life stood out, the familiar one that I had listened to many times late at night while taking in every word its owner had to say.

Apparently, Kazuki-san had considered my complaint; he said nothing as we came up to the hidden shinobi.

Slowly, blurry silhouettes began to materialize from the nothingness. I could see stony-faced ninja ranking mostly from chunin to jounin all arranged around a tall young man. He hopped down from a mound of gravel, planting himself with much bravado between his comrades and my own.

"State your business here and what Tsuchikage-sama values the most," he said, looking at everyone in turn. He didn't seem to know who was in charge… and none of us… except for Kazuki-san knew what this person was talking about.

"Reinforcements for the weapons transaction with Takumi village, and the Tsuchikage holds courage in the face of an inevitably averse outcome in highest regard," said Kazuki-san, reciting what I guessed were well-worn lines. "Do you agree?"

"Yes…" said the leader of the other group. "Now you all need to join hands and one of you needs to touch me."

We looked around at each other awkwardly.

"What the…" mumbled Hisoka-san. Then his eyes lit up with understanding and his voice trailed away.

"Huh? I don't get it, hmm?" I grunted. Everyone had linked hands by this point but me.

"Just do it, Deidara-san, it's nothing bad." Amaya-san tried to console me. I grudgingly obliged, feeling foolish. I was only touching the fingertips of the people beside me, not wanting them to make contact with my palm-mouths. I hoped they wouldn't do something embarrassing.

We all stood there for a moment, looking quite stupid. Then, I felt a slight rush seep into my right hand's digits from Shin-san's hand. It oozed up them… and then… like fire injected into my chakra system, pain erupted in my palm as the sensation hit the mouth.

"Argh!" I cried, recoiling from the other boy's touch.

The foreign chakra continued to climb up my arm 'till it dissipated, beginning to diffuse into my cells. I grabbed the burning hand with my other one, squeezing it and trying to cut off the circulation.

"That… bloody hurt!" I snarled, looking up from my throbbing palm. "You… messed up the chakra flow… tenketsu…" I griped angerly.

Not caring about what the others thought, I held my palm-mouth out and watched it slobber in pain all over the rest of my hand. It didn't take long for the puddle of saliva to overflow and begin dripping in viscous strings to the ground.

"Deidara-kun?" came a voice I hadn't heard for two weeks.

I glared in the direction of the sound. A man who few would have believed to be 67 pushed his way between two of his team members to come up to my hostile form. I grimaced in the direction of his unreadable expression.

He had a surprisingly smooth face; hardly lined at all, with curly, silver hair that shone like iron filings. He had a tiny goatee sprouting from his chin and large glasses with thick frames set upon his hooked nose. He wore long, dark green and tan clothing underneath his stained and weatherworn chunin vest. He was my grandfather.

"Deidara-kun, what are you doing here? I thought you were staying with Tsukiko-san…" asked Takumi-sama, sounding incredulous.

"Why do you think I'm here?" I said vindictively. "I signed up for this… mission!"

"Calm down, there's no need for you to take that tone of voice with me; remember who you're talking to," he spoke soothingly. I crossed my arms, getting drool all over my striped shirt in the process.

"Hey, Takumi-san! Do you know this kid? Get away from him, he just avoided the test," said a burley, bear of a man.

"No, this is my… grandson…" the words came haltingly, as though he were ashamed to admit it.

"You can't know…"

"Yes, I can," interrupted Takumi-sama. "I'm familiar with the boy's condition and chakra transfer checks aren't a good idea with his hands. They disturb the tenketsu."

I gawked slightly at Takumi-sama. How did he know? I had only just figured out about my hands' tenketsu points a week ago, or something!

The other team's leader shrugged, and waved off the brute's protests.

"Fine, be it on your own head, Takumi-san. Anyways…" his eyes moved from person to persons' face. "What can one kid do? We'll carry on with the others."

At that moment, I would have liked to show him what "one kid" could do! The aspersion stung me. The uninjured palm-mouth gritted its teeth; sharing in my fury.

"Come with me, Deidara-kun," said Takumi-sama, gently putting a hand on my shoulder. I shrank away from the contact, ducking under his arm. There was nothing genuine about his consolations.

Frowning, Grandpa Takumi-sama led me a little away from the others who had joined hands again. Noticing my wrathful gaze was turned in their direction he said,

"They're sending chakra through their bodies and into the others' through tenketsu points on their hands. It's a way to pick up each person's unique chakra signature and get it all in one shot. It's how we confirm that both teams are the real deal. It doesn't work with you because of the tenketsu points in your hands being so close to the surface; it damages them and can reverse the flow of…"

"I know!" I sniped.

"Really?" asked Takumi-sama, looking mildly interested. "What have you been doing while I've been away?"

"…" I hesitated. "Art." Takumi-sama's eyebrows shot up faster then you could say "ninjutsu".

"Really," he repeated.

"Yeah," I said coldly. Then, despite myself, I dug my good hand into one of my pouches. The palm-mouth rabidly ate the clay, and when I withdrew it and opened my fingers, a stork stood daintily on the mouth's tongue. I tossed it into the air, making a one handed seal to cause it to take flight.

Takumi-sama watched its progress with something close to feigned indifference. He… had a very odd expression on his face. Feeling impervious to the other shinobi around me, who had started to walk past us into the main camp, I cried the word,

"Katsu!"

The bird burst into a mini-shower of sparks and light.

BANG!

I could see Takumi-sama from the corner of my eye. His eyes were shielded behind the glare of white that briefly shone across his glasses, but his mouth was open ajar.

"What in the…" The lean leader had turned back and was squinting at us.

"It's nothing," said Takumi-sama. Then in an undertone, he whispered to me, "Interesting… is this a jutsu?" I nodded slightly. Without another word, Takumi-sama followed the rest of the ninja and I copied him.

Base camp was comprised of nothing but a few shabby sleeping bags and backpacks under a genjutsu field. The whole set up was invisible until you stepped beneath the dome-like outer range. I knew that there had to be someone very skilled in genjutsu arts to make something like this, as genjutsu usually involved getting directly into the brains of a limited amount of people, rather than projecting an illusion in an area.

Even with the aid of a genjutsu, nobody started a fire as the rest of the shinobi gathered around an outcropping of rocks. Everyone had set up sleeping bags and were planning watches when I settled myself down between a snug pair of stones beneath a flat-faced boulder.

My hand was still pounding with every circulation of blood that ran through it, and I was pretty sure by this point that the chakra flow had been messed up. I figured I'd tweak it a bit when it stopped hurting so much. When I leaned back to look at the night sky, I felt the shards of stone dig deeper into my flesh… and by now, I **knew** that they were infected. Puss was dampening the back of my shirt from the still open wounds.

I exhaled heavily, watching my breath disappear in a cloud of mist. It was terribly cold in my thin clothing.

The stars shone like diamonds set into dark silk. Some of them changed colour, from blue to green, then orange.

My hand slipped into my pouch again, and when I brought it out, there was another sparrow, like the one I'd made when I'd been introduced to Amaya-san and Isamu-san. But, with closer observation, or maybe just my imagination, this sparrow had a more delicate look about it. Yet… it seemed stronger than the last… or maybe it was just the absence of rain pelting down onto its back that made it all the more powerful.

I was about to bring my hands together to blow it up, when I changed my mind, instead rooting around in my backpack. When I found the note again, I read over the bit I had translated.

"_I remember what you showed me, and I'm sorry… but I really don't know for what. You know I can try to forget, but it won't happen. I only had a suggestion, so I don't…"_

I stared at the fragile piece of paper. What in Earth was Hisoka-san talking about?

I got out a pen, warming it between my fingers.

"Deidara-kun, what're you doing here?"

I jumped, a curse on my lips.

"What?" I managed to spit.

Takumi-sama was standing behind me on top of the rock against my back. He looked down on me and the note, which I hastily stowed away again.

"I just wanted to know what you were up to. I get nervous when you're away from the group," he smiled. I didn't return the amiable gesture.

"I was sitting alone. Have you got a problem with that?" I asked arrogantly. If he was going to treat me like some moron prankster, then I figured I might as well play up to the part.

"Deidara-kun, what's wrong?" he said sharply. "You've picked up quite the attitude!"

"Nothing!" I said, flat-out lying. Takumi-sama dropped the subject, coming down to sit beside me. He slid to my level, looking up at the midnight darkness.

I settled the sparrow I had made down onto a hill away from us.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" said Takumi-sama suddenly. A hand dove into his vest pocket and resurfaced with two small slips of plastic. "It's your sixteenth birthday tomorrow… or today." He looked at his watch.

"Uh… it is?" I asked uncertainly. I hadn't even thought about my birthday…

"Well… yes, that's when we're assuming you were born." A blank look set into his eyes. He winced slightly, holding out the papers. I took them.

Two pictures. One was of a dark haired woman with large, saphire eyes that looked firm and unconquerable. The other was of a man with medium length, loose blond hair, and a friendly smile playing about his taunting, azure eyes. My parents, I knew.

"They're for you," said Takumi-sama quietly.

I didn't respond. I just stared at the two totally opposite faces. I wondered why they were in separate pictures. And… why was Grandpa Takumi-sama actually acknowledging my birthday, when even I hadn't remembered it? It usually wasn't made a big deal of, it was greeted with… surprise that the "deformed one" had survived another year.

Seeming unable to contain himself, Takumi-sama began to talk.

"Your mother, Deidara-kun… she was tough… unyielding! I'm surprised your father could even win her heart over! And…Taiki-kun, he was so gentle and understanding. But you should have seen him when he got angry! Only things that were near to him, like Mayu-chan, your mother, and his nindo, if insulted could make him lose his patience. He was such a dear fellow…" reminisced Takumi-sama.

"What was his nindo?" I spoke quietly.

"Well…" said Takumi-sama thoughtfully. "I think it was to put love and empathy before even his shinobi dedication… and some odd idea involving fighting with paint brushes." He lapsed into silence.

"I taught him to paint. But…" he struggled for words. "…Your parents would be very proud of you. You're getting more serious in your shinobi work."

".."

Takumi-sama said nothing more. He got up and walked towards the rest of the people, leaving me to my own thoughts. I never understood why he hadn't taught me how to paint. It probably had something to do with his idea of me being "unworthy" to do so and so…

I retrieved the note and my pen, and picked up my decrypting.

_...:Hours Later:.._

Someone was crying.

Things weren't well.

Something was missing.

The summoning scrolls full of weapons had been stashed close to the only two jounins. Everyone but the person on the first watch had supposedly hunkered down and gone to sleep. Who was on the 5:00 watch?

I had deciphered a bit more of the letter… in the dark. Now it read:

"_I remember what you showed me, and I'm sorry… but I really don't know for what. You know I can try to forget, but it won't happen. I only had a suggestion, so I don't see why you had to get so worked up. I thought that if we broke your jutsu down into more manageable bits, like even smaller rocks, then you could slowly build up to bigger ones. Personally, I think the smaller, sharper rocks are more deadly and better suited to your strengths. We should train again some time, to test this out, you know…"_

That had seemed innocent. It explained why Suzume-chan had been in such a mood when we registered for the mission… and it also gave hints as to how Hisoka-san had known about her jutsu… and used it against me. I was a little choked up about her not telling me, though… What was the big secret?

Crouching stiffly on my knees, I peered over the stones surrounding me, adjusting my enhanced chakra-vision. The rocks that everyone had been gathered around, the ones that had seemingly posed as a campfire… someone was now sitting on them. I widened my eyes, trying to gather more light. Suzume-chan… and she was… sobbing…

I glanced around helplessly, looking for aid that wouldn't come.

"… Incompetent… and… what to do...?"

I caught whispers saturated with tears. She was huddled in a little ball of despair, hugging her knees.

Part of me told me to comfort her, another said it would be easier to let her be… and she deserved it for shutting me out… if she did… I wasn't sure if it was vice versa now. Maybe I was the problem? Yeah.

Over the weeping form of Suzume-chan, I saw the deep purples of early dawn and the hints of gold in the distant sky. I was running out of private time.

I did nothing to help Suzume-chan. Not a thing. I returned to my missive decoding, trying to block out the sounds of her sorrow.

Light washed over the sheet in my trembling hands. I pressed it against my thigh, almost punching a hole through it as my pen's point swept over the paper, revealing the next words.

"_I even have an idea for its name, if you want to hear. But…"_

My throat physically closed as I read the next six words.

"_You know… I miss you again."_

I gasped for breath, looking up at Suzume-chan's shuddering silhouette, then back to the mesmerizing scrap.

Something clicked… the nexus. And… like a freight train plowing ahead at full speed, the rest of the note hit me. It made sense just like that. The next words made themselves apparent instantaneously.

"_You have time for Deidara-san, but you hardly come visiting anymore. I'm pathetic in that way. I'm jealous."_

"…Hardly… what… how long…" I wasn't even paying attention to what I was thinking.

"_I love you."_

I almost tore the paper in half. Why did I hurt so much… in my heart… my heart…?

"_I know- I hope you don't have feelings for Deidara-san, but it's still hard for me. What with you not telling him about us and all. If you did, we might be able to work something out."_

"**NEVER!"** shrieked the "BANG", awakening in full-force.

I read on:

"_Please let me know what you want to do with that jutsu. Send a reply with Deidara-san, or something. I think he's reliable, and even if he isn't, I doubt he can decode this letter. (Don't get mad at me, I'm just telling you the truth.)_

_-Hisoka" _

I was convulsing with ire. More insulted… then when children had thrown rocks at me, more insulted then when Takumi-sama had confessed his disappointment in me, more insulted then when a particular classmate had tried to cut one of my palm-mouth's tongues out with a kunai… more insulted than I could ever remember being! And why… why did EVERYTHING hurt? My body, my mind… And more then that… something even deeper!

Never had oxygen become so hard to breath. Never had blinking been so difficult. I was agonizingly aware of my entire body.

**Why did I feel this way?**

I couldn't have… I didn't… love her, did I?

The vibe of unease I had felt earlier… it was still present.

Then a thunderous crash rang out. I heard sandals scuffling across granite and earth.

Suddenly people were standing over me. We were under attack.

Sanguinary hues bathed my vision. The world went red.

* * *

**AN:** Yes, this chapter turned out longer than I expected... longer than the last... And there I was, going: "I'm gonna make this a short chapter!" Right. I'm sorry about the inconsistant: ...:Hours Past:... things. I can't remember what I did before... and is it really of that much consequence?

I've finally discovered the joys of turkey slices, cheese, mayonaise, and buns... combined to make the only sandwich I will ever eat.


	15. Abomination of the Earth

**Abomination of the Earth**

And something finally perforated my conscience.

It all made sense now. The resentful looks, the discomfort, the lies. All of the pieces were finally together. I had been the only one of the two of them… not to know. The one shut in the dark room.

I sent a clay swan flying as fast as it was designed to go at one of the masked, faceless enemy shinobi. It dove into range, and I weaved a hand seal, detonating it.

It hit with deadly accuracy. Blood splattered my face, mixed with chunks of quivering flesh.

Nothing mattered.

The lives I tore down to reach my new goal were of no consequence. There was only one thing on my mind, only one thing I could focus on: finding Hisoka. And after that… destroying him.

My victim's two companions quailed as the remains of their ally splashed them in scarlet.

I began a resolute walk towards them, my hands going into my pouches. They reached for ninjato belted to their backs. But nothing could save them… nothing could…

I released spiders swollen with chakra, launching them at my opponents. The arachnids hit their faces and clung to them before the two could even pull their weapons out.

BANG!

BANG!

The two explosions almost blended into one. Except for the fact that the bomb created by my right hand hadn't been able to make a clean job of the visage it had planted itself upon.

The palm-mouth throbbed as I stepped over what was left of the ninja.

Chaos greeted my senses. Iwagakure shinobi fought unknown enemies here and there. Bodies were already beginning to pile up among the rocks. But it mattered not who was winning, if I killed friend or foe… I had only one concern.

It was like everything moved in a surreal, slow-motion-like state.

Who were the people reaching out for me from the dirt? Whose faces were they?

Was that Amaya-san lying there still and cold?

I carved myself a path of destruction, sending clay animals forth to decimate all in my path. People fell beneath the onslaught, blown to bits or seriously burned by the force of my rage.

_"Doton: Retsudotensho!" _I heard someone initiate a jutsu.

The ground near my right shifted in a spiral, then collapsed in on itself, burying ninja and pulling Amaya-san's corpse down with it.

I passed Takumi-sama, still in the midst of a one-on-one spar with an opponent. He was horrified by the carnage left in my wake. I knew that he couldn't suggest what he was feeling.

"Deidara!" he called out in a panic. His adversary dealt a neat punch to his jaw.

I wasn't listening. There was nothing to spare for him.

A shinobi skidded into my view. A Sunagakure hitai ate flashed in the light.

She had wispy, brown hair… and eyes that almost could have matched my own wild spite.

Recognition hit me. This was… the kunoichi Amaya-san had sealed…

She grinned evilly.

"Surprised? Nah, you seem a little distracted…" she jeered. Her voice barely registered.

I took a step forward, dipping my hands into my clay pouches. Nobody was going to stand in my way.

I released two snakes that reared up and slithered towards the girl.

"Argh!" I grunted in pain.

One of the serpents, the one created by my right hand, had stopped its assault and drooped to the stone, lifeless and neutral.

I jerked the aching hand around, trying to shake the hurt off. I lost concentration, and the other snake exploded some feet from my target.

"…Where're you going?" asked the Suna ninja, leering widely. "It wouldn't be to help your friend over there, would it?" She pointed behind her, and unwillingly, my eyes followed her finger. I saw Suzume-chan in heated combat with two of the intruders at once. And behind her… so that they were almost back-to-back, Hisoka, also fighting two shinobi.

I staggered forward.

"…Almost… now… I've got you…" I thought, narrowing my eyes.

"Oho! Not so fast, dear!" said the girl, blocking my movements. "If there's one thing I don't forget, it's who wronged me."

I could relate to that…

"…And your little friend left me quite the bruise." She rubbed her temple, cocking her head manically.

"So? I got you, too, hmm," I said impatiently. My hands went back to the clay reserves. The girl hardly seemed to consider my comment.

"I can kill two birds with one stone… and all I need to do is… take your girlfriend down… aha ha ha…" Her head rolled back, exposing her neck.

She bolted away from me in mid-sentence. I leapt after her, anxiety flooding my gut beneath the injustice.

Then, when the girl was no more than two meters from Suzume-chan, Takumi-sama came hurtling through the mass of catastrophe.

Kunai clashed as the two shinobi met in mid-air. They fell to the ground, fighting with lightening fast reflexes.

I could already see the toll of battle wearing down on Takumi-sama's aged body. Sweat rolled off his exposed skin, mingling with what seemed to be tears.

I dove past them, nearing the two teenagers. They fought in perfect harmony… almost in a practiced way. How long had they been keeping me in my little obsessive box?

I reached down… an almost forgotten instinctive movement triggered. I was wearing my kunai holster… My fingertips hooked around the rings of four kunai tops.

Drawing forward with a fluid sweep of my arm, I fired the quadruplet of knives at Hisoka and Suzume-chan's opponents. They hit with satisfactory, muffled thumps.

Blood spurted forth, and one of them fell never to get up again. The other three were so distracted that Suzume-chan and Hisoka-san could finish them off.

"Thanks, Deidara-kun…" Suzume-chan panted. I strode past her. "Where're you going? The other intruders are…"

Hisoka had been doing his best not to acknowledge my presence, but it became impossible for him to do so when I continued my stiff walk towards him, shoving him hard in the chest. He staggered slightly, trying to recover himself, but I pushed harder, driving him into a cliff-wall.

"Think I'm stupid, hmm?" I hissed. "How long have you two been having a nice laugh?"

Hisoka looked totally bewildered… then when his steely eyes met mine, I saw a flash of understanding pass between us.

"What do you think you're talking about…?" he asked, turning his gaze away. "Get your hands off of me before I break them."

"You know full-well what I'm talking about!" I shouted. "How long have you been hitting it off with Suzume-chan?!"

Hisoka looked me over apathetically.

"You didn't give her the note… did you?" he said in a barely audible tone.

Suzume-chan turned from her observation of the fight scene to see me pinning Hisoka to the rock.

"What the heck are you…" She stopped talking.

Hisoka wrapped his thick fingers around my wrists. I tried to pull one of my hands away to reach for a weapon, but Hisoka didn't relent.

His grip tightened. I felt the blood flow stop… He twisted my skin, stretching the old scab from my first work of art. It split open again.

"Is he trying to cut off my chakra?" I thought, struggling.

I leaned back and he didn't let go.

Faster then Hisoka could react, I kicked my feet out in front of me and drove my heel into his stomach. He let go, winded, and I launched myself off from his abdomen. I landed in a crouch close to the ground.

Hisoka was attempting not to double over. His cold eyes flickered between me and Suzume-chan, taking in all of the surroundings.

Suzume-chan had covered her mouth in a defensive gesture. She seemed to want to run away.

"Tell me!" I howled. "One of you… just tell me! I'm so sick of lies and secrets! Why couldn't you tell me?!" My voice had cracked in emotion.

"Deidara-kun…" started Suzume-chan. "…I was waiting for the right time…" She clasped her hands nervously. "I didn't think you'd mind…"

"I wouldn't have cared if you just told me at the start!"

…Or would I have?

"You wouldn't… have cared," stated Suzume-chan timidly. "… I thought you…"

"Why didn't you tell me at the start? You could have… you could have!" I yelled.

"We knew you'd react like this," said Hisoka, regaining some breath.

I started shuddering. My chin was nearly level with my chest.

Both shinobi regarded me with confusion.

Then laughter broke forth from my lips. Or some travesty of mirth… There was nothing amusing that had triggered the sound… there was no joy in it. It was hollow and empty. It was brought on by the pure, cruel irony of my situation. They were both telling me different stories.

"Can we leave this for later?" barked Hisoka. "We're dying out here!"

The maniacal noise faded away. My eyes widened madly.

"We are, aren't we?" I lunged forward, crying hoarsely, "But if we're already dead, then what's there left to kill?!"

Suzume-chan threw herself between me and my prey. I dodged her lithely, delving for clay.

My hands spat ten foot centipedes at Hisoka, who leapt up into the air to avoid them. He threw shuriken at them, pinning the insects to the earth where I let them explode. More shuriken came for me instead, and I countered them with some of my own rusty throwing stars.

With one hand I wrapped explosive tags to kunai; with the other I created a bird with two sets of wings. I tossed the bird up and away, throwing the tagged kunai at Hisoka a split second later. He had nowhere to go.

He jumped to avoid the knives, at the same moment I triggered the bird into a dive for him. I made the sign for "snake".

"KATSU!" I shrieked.

BANG!

All of the explosives detonated, buffeting Hisoka between their blasts. He dropped like a stone thrown into a lake.

I bolted upwards and lashed out at his limp body. Then his head came up… he was still conscious!

He grabbed my ankle… and before I knew it…

A resounding "Snap!" rang out. Horrendous pain flooded my senses!

I groaned, landing on my back in the dust. The agony and emotional turmoil had culminated in tears. Against my will, they began to blossom at the corners of my eyes.

"Can't you just answer me…?" I moaned, clutching at my broken ankle.

Nothing.

I looked pleadingly to Suzume-chan.

"You hate me… don't you?" I whispered.

"No! I never hated you, Deidara-kun!" she said, mortified.

A nerve tore somewhere inside of me.

Trembling, I got up on my injured leg's knee, balancing it so I could heave myself to my one good foot. I stood with my right foot gingerly tapping the ground.

"You…" my voice shook. I swallowed, watching Suzume-chan. "Eternity. That's forever, right? What happened to being open with me? …Just you and Hisoka. There's no room for me anymore."

Suzume-chan gaped at me, she was about to speak, but I cut her off.

"… Don't you dare tell me there is! You're either all for me or all against me. There is no in-between with you. You know why?" She was silently crying. "…Because that's the way you are… who you are… And there are some things…. THAT… YOU… JUST… CAN'T CHANGE!" I was shouting again. "It's in your nature…" My breathing came in quick and deep gasps now. I was hyperventilating at this point.

But I felt detached from my body now. All of the pricks, bruises, breaks… I felt them as though from behind a veil of steel.

I sent my mind out… far away. I could feel the clay, cold from its night-long neglect… distant, but a part of me. It was me.

I commanded the sparrow to take flight. It took off from the tree I had left it on. I knew it was rising now, high above everyone's attention.

Like an intaglio sunk beneath my face… My inside turned out. My expression morphed into a mask of tangled sentiments.

I stared at Hisoka.

"Die."

I threw myself at him, ignoring the jolt of shattered bone against flesh, as my ankle took my full weight briefly. My hands flew for kunai again.

And the next moment I was smashing into the stunned Hisoka.

A sharp discomfort tore across my arms. Hisoka had slashed me with a hastily drawn weapon. I stabbed out with my kunai, jabbing them into shallow sinew.

Blood. There was blood everywhere.

My frail body was no match for Hisoka's toned muscles. He threw me off, grazing my stomach with a sai from one of his belts in the process.

I landed hard, sprawling onto my front.

But it was all part of the plan. My hastily constructed vengeance would prevail, I knew it! I savored every blow I took from Hisoka with the knowledge that I'd soon be returning them ten-fold.

Time slowed. I could take in every moment of my hate. I signaled the bird down. I was the clay. I was going to kill Hisoka.

I threw the kunai I still gripped in my slippery hands at Hisoka. He still hadn't looked up.

There it was: the second I needed.

As if in slow motion, Hisoka blocked the small knives… and my creation plummeted.

Two meters.

One meter.

I was going to finish him off through and through. Leave nothing behind.

Half a meter.

The bird neared Hisoka's head.

AN INCH!

My hands came together in victory.

"KATSU!" The word came out like a proclamation of indescribable euphoria.

Then everything was moving again… Things had stepped out the standstill inside my brain.

A shuriken whizzed past my nose and hit the sparrow, driving it to the earth. It lay on the ground, defeated.

No "BANG".

I whipped around, sitting up.

Takumi-sama was standing over me, a shuriken still held loosely in his hand.

I felt numb. There were too many emotions jostling in line for my comprehension and not one of them could break through.

Hisoka glanced around… Shocked beyond any reaction.

"What… are you doing to me…?" The words came out as though someone else were speaking them. "Why are you getting involved?" It felt as though I had vertigo. My vision spun.

"I should be the one asking that," said Takumi-sama, rubbing the shuriken held between his fingers.

"What are you not telling me?!" I screamed. "You're not telling me anything either! How are you involved in this…?" I cracked. "WHAT ARE YOU HIDING FROM ME? WHO AM I?"

Takumi-sama twitched, blinking.

"Deidara-kun… I don't understand," he said slowly. "What are you talking about?"

"Everything!" I sobbed angrily. "You interfered! Why?"

"Deidara-kun… You were going to kill your fellow teammate! And what you were doing earlier…!" said Takumi-sama, his voice rising dangerously.

"…They lied to me…" Tears welled up in the corners of my eyes. "…Just like you."

Takumi-sama was silent.

"I was afraid it might come to this…" he said coldly.

"What?" I said, confused.

"You'd never be happy with what you have? Would you?" said Takumi-sama, his face totally unreadable. My own expression was blank. Inside a seething mass of ire was beginning to swell.

"Is it so wrong to of me to want to know… simple things that everyone does about… their family… their origin?!" I spluttered. "…But you never told me! Excuses, excuses… lies!"

I received no answer. I cursed, trying to get to my feet. Pathetically, I fell onto my backside again. Takumi-sama had turned his eyes down.

"You know, don't you?" I said, sheer fury in every syllable. "You know why I am the way I am!"

"…It wasn't… It didn't matter. It doesn't matter… I may have made a terrible mistake…" stuttered Takumi-sama.

"Tell me. Just do me one favor in my life, and tell me the truth." I had my palm-mouths positioned so that they could devour clay as quickly as possible.

Suzume-chan looked from person to person, channels of salty despair running down her scuffed face.

Hisoka seemed stunned by how close he had come to destruction. He had his eyes pinched shut and his fists clenched tightly. He was totally off guard.

The fighting continued around us… though it was as if we were behind our own invisible barrier of horror.

Takumi-sama sighed… His brow wrinkled, giving the impression of a great weight he were about to slide off.

"Now? You really want to hear it now?'

"Tell me," I said impatiently.

Takumi-sama took a shallow breath. A strange look came across his features; a mix between uncontrollable rage, agony, guilt, and resentment.

"You really have failed… You have blown everything. Attacking your comrades will surely result in the most stringent of punishments. You may even lose your rank.

"Your parents…" Takumi-sama worked arduously to express himself. "They gave you the most incredible gift you could have imagined… And it wasn't…" he said, gesticulating at my poised hands. "…Those atrocities!

"They gave you back your life, Deidara." He had dropped the honorary.

"Several days after you were born… and, yes, you weren't born in a cave, you weren't found in one… it was discovered that you had a chakra deficiency disease. You had barely any chakra at all, and everyone needs some to survive. You would die within the week if something wasn't done… and you'd certainly never be able to become a shinobi.

"Mayu-chan was a medic-nin… and she knew that the only way to save her new son was to donate chakra of the same type from another person until your system matured and you were able to create your own chakra." His voice shook. "The manner of going about such a sacrifice was to be kept secret. It was a very high-level ninjutsu, and needed three people besides the patient. The technique was performed by cutting open certain points in the body where tenketsu or gates were located and reversing the flow to directly take in the donors' chakra. A deep wound was needed to directly transfer chakra into the other person's system… and for it to in time become their own. It also needed a middle person to regulate the proceedings, put a bond of their own chakra over the connection point, and disconnect the donors before they lost too much of their chakra; they could do nothing as the process continued. A dangerous procedure…

"Both of your parents had the same type of chakra as you… and Taiki-kun asked me to be the bond." Takumi-sama swallowed back tears. I was entirely absorbed in every word.

"We took you to one of the fissures down by the west canyon… And there we started the transfer. We cut deep gashes into your little hands… and Mayu-chan and Taiki-kun slashed their own hands and started the life-saving technique. I held you… And you were in such pain… But…

"Then, after five minutes of you draining their chakra… it all went wrong. I don't know what happened… I think… I think I didn't disconnect their hands from yours… in time… There was… so much blood. And… my poor Taiki-kun… and Mayu-chan… They… they were…"

"What?!" I was held in a terrified rapture.

"…They were permanently disfigured. Missing… bits… here… and there… You were left… with their flesh to cover your injuries. You took part of them! You were left with mouths on your hands… the best way to seal the wounds off." He was shaking with the recollections.

"…And do you know what they told me before we started the work on you…?"

I narrowed my eyes.

"It only works with the best of intentions. They told me if the "bond" didn't want the procedure to work… then it wouldn't. And you know why I didn't want it to happen?" He glared at me suddenly. I flinched, my palm-mouths, snapping shut. "…Because it would mean… that my little boy… my Taiki-kun…wouldn't be able to continue his life as a shinobi. Neither would Mayu-chan. My child… would forfeit his dignity, his skill… for this mere baby that had such low expectations for survival!

"Now it doesn't matter either way! …And you… You don't even care." He paused.

"They left the village hours after you were… created as the creature you are today. I don't know where they went. Then… just days after your sixth birthday… they came home to help fight the war against Konohagakure. I don't know if you remember…"

My whole body felt like it had been turned to ice. The two strangers who had come to call at breakfast so long ago…

"They came back in a henge to disguise their appearances… It had taken them six long years to recover some of their chakra… but they had come back to Iwagakure to assist our failing forces. To finish their lives. After I locked you in your room, they told me they had nothing left to lose… and couldn't raise you in their condition… They were tired of living a half-life.

"And that afternoon… when I returned to the battlefield… they were already gone. Did a suicidal move that took over twenty Konoha shinobi with them," Takumi-sama's voice faltered. The tears really began to pour out now.

I shook my head slowly… So they had gone out with a "bang".

"In an attempt to relieve myself of the overwhelming guilt," continued Takumi-sama. "I studied what had happened that fateful day we tried to save your life. I wanted to know… if it really was my fault that the procedure hadn't worked… if I was to blame for driving my only child and his wife to their demise.

"And now… I know how to… almost perfectly replicate the circumstances of your curse… without anyone else's help. Alone. That is… if it was really my ill intentions that caused the failure. Another possibility was that your disease… was so powerful that your own body overdid the process… The whole thing was so convoluted," Takumi-sama mused darkly.

"There is only one way to know for sure… The jutsu will be fairly ineffective if your disease is gone… Which it should be by now. Sure… I might be able to kill you without the jutsu… But if I were to attack you with it right now… and it were to be successful… It would be my blame."

A shiver ran down my spine. I couldn't take in everything Takumi-sama had just told me… but the last bit hit me somewhere sensitive.

…What? You aren't going to…" Suzume-chan said, mortified.

I had forgotten she was there… listening to every detail of my shameful past… the past I hadn't even known about.

Takumi-sama turned in her direction.

"There's no honor left in him. He will destroy us all in his insatiable lust for destruction."

"Art…!" I said roughly. My hands inched towards the clay pouches at my waist. Then I stopped… my forehead furrowing beneath my newly dented hitai ate.

"Why… mouths?" I asked… thinking of all the things that could be used to suture or sear a wound shut.

"I often wonder myself… Your whole body was affected by the experiment, or technique, so it's unclear," Takumi-sama said stoically. I knew he wasn't telling me the whole truth.

"Really…?" I spoke quietly. "I thought there might be a reason… an explanation for them… They have put me under persecution, bigotry, distain from you…" I said, looking up into his purplish eyes. "…So much torment… I was… I am the anathema of the Earth. Yet now, I couldn't imagine life without my ignominies. Because they…" I discreetly pushed my fingers into the slimy clay beneath my waiting palm-mouths. "…They're my fuel… my art's base!"

In the blink of an eye, my hands had extended and opened face-up to reveal two birds of prey sculpted to perfection sitting on my palms.

I threw them, weaving a seal in the process. The eagles expanded in a shroud of mist. I spurred them on with a solicitous jab from my mind.

"JUST DIE!" I screamed, "**IT'S NOT MY FAULT!!**"

The birds were on a straight collision course with Takumi-sama… then he was gone.

I looked wildly about, still unable to get up. My ankle throbbed jarringly. I grabbed it, gasping in pain. Then… behind me…

I scuttled about, trying to see the presence looming so near. I heard a tap against the stony ground to my right. My head whipped in the direction of the noise… Takumi-sama was there. Then he was at my left!

My eyes couldn't even pick up the movement anymore.

I focused my distant chakra inside the eagles, calling it back.

Too late.

I tried to draw a kunai, but Takumi-sama was suddenly there right in my face. His stale breath suffocated me.

"You've brought this upon yourself… I'm fixing my mistake. I'm erasing my iniquities today," he whispered, slitting his palm with a discarded weapon. He drew his right hand back, tightening his fingers into bloody claws. What was he going to do? Rip my heart out?

Seeming to read my thoughts, he said in sardonic tone,

"Though I'll die with you if I'm culpable … you'll eat your own heart. You'll consume yourself. A fitting end for such a selfish person."

A horrific inkling stretched across my mind. He wasn't going to seriously…

It was too late to get a weapon… too late to protect myself. My own grandfather was going to kill me… and for what? To prove that it wasn't his fault my parents were maimed and had committed suicide? To destroy all reminders of his shattered past? Or just to stop me from killing more people? I deduced it was a mixture of all reasons.

I stared into his quivering face… then over it, intending to bring my eyes to the sky before I left this world…

But then… I saw something that was all the more disturbing then my impending death… The sight chilled me to the bone, freezing my blood.

Suzume-chan had started a sprint for me… Her guard was totally down in her moment of fear…

"Deidara-kun!" she cried, love breaking through her voice.

And behind her… so close, was the Suna shinobi… with a wicked kunai held tightly in her pitiless fingers.

"NOOO!!" I tried to crawl towards her, past Takumi-sama who was also distracted.

The Sand ninja gained more ground.

Hisoka had finally noticed what was happening, and was bolting towards his girlfriend's side.

Everything was too late.

The girl pitched herself forward, flying through the air for the briefest of moments… then the three pronged knife buried itself in Suzume-chan's back.

"Got you… sucker!" the kunoichi screeched triumphantly.

She stopped. Just like that, all impetus gone. The Suna shinobi also halted, holding the blade steady.

Suzume-chan tried to turn. The other girl wrenched the kunai around. It sprouted out of Suzume-chan's body just beneath her collarbone.

Hisoka and I were both yelling and sobbing. He had at least reached the enemy. With a wrath unseen even when fighting me, Hisoka attacked the foreigner with a kusarigama he had been carrying on his person.

The sickle-ended chain swung with deadly accuracy… So fast that it became a blur of vengeance.

Suzume-chan sank to her knees… clutching at the knife tip protruding from beneath her neck. Her eyes moved languidly towards me. The windows to our souls met.

Takumi-sama turned his attention back to me. I had fallen forward in my attempt at walking.

Suzume-chan's lips mouthed words that never were given voice to. She raised her gaze up to the heavens… tears came forth, up from a seemingly never-ending source, streaming freely.

"…I'm… I-I'm so sorry…" Her final request came to me; strangely clear even from the distance and turmoil that separated us. "…Don't… die…"

She collapsed, crumpling onto the dirt.

Gone.

I was silent. There was no point in trying to release my emotions; not one of the wide spectrum of feelings could even get close to conveying my remorse.

Things were never as pretty as the old men and retired shinobi described them. When they spoke of death in the line of duty, they told tales of heroic ends, sometimes self-sacrificing deeds, dying in the arms of comrades and loved ones… Famous last words, never to be forgotten.

Was this Suzume-chan's demise: "Don't die."?

She hadn't fallen gracefully… she hadn't died like the actors in the cheap movies that sometimes played in Iwagakure's recreation center. She hadn't even gone out with a "bang".

But those words. They couldn't be ignored.

Takumi-sama thrust his arm back, making talons of his fingers again.

"Nothing changes this!" he bellowed, spittle flying from his gaping mouth.

I controlled the eagles with my chakra, making them wheel around. They plowed forth, coming for both of us.

"THIS IS EVERYTHING!" I roared, raising my left hand and making a two-fingered seal.

The eagles approached.

Takumi-sama's twisted hand plunged forward.

The clay birds were almost there.

It was almost like Takumi-sama's fingers had turned into drills between the brief space of time it had taken for them to cross the gap separating us.

They made contact with the left side of my chest, burning holes through my shirt… then delving right through my skin.

"_Shimon- Gate of Death_… open!" rasped Takumi-sama.

It took two full seconds for the sensation to hit me… The most excruciating agony I had ever felt in my entire life!

Weakly, I tried to regain my contact with the clay… but my chakra was ebbing away… my life was draining…

Takumi-sama began to mutter feverishly, making seals with the hand that wasn't planted in my chest.

The pain worsened… I gladly would have ended my life to escape the torture. It was like a dull, rusty, dagger was being dug through my flesh, tearing bone, muscles, nerves, arteries, veins; everything that got in its way aside.

Air… I could scarcely breathe it… but I felt it chill my heart… my open, beating heart now exposed vulnerably.

Blood enveloped the entire area around Takumi-sama and me.

His whispers began to get more rapid, picking up speed and sounding like the crackling of static.

The only thing keeping my spine erect was Takumi-sama's fist, still embedded in my chest and holding me up.

More of the crimson liquid spilled out… but not just from me now.

Takumi-sama's features were getting fuzzier. Pain marred my vision… but I could see blood pouring out of the half of his face that was now missing.

With a colossal tug, his hand slid forcefully from my…

There was only sinew and tendons covering the bones of his fingers.

I fell to the earth, getting my last glimpse of the caricature of a man that had called himself "family".

"I'm the one to blame." I heard his voice for the final time.

Coming from beyond the suffering… I felt relief.

It really wasn't my fault.

The sky was so blue, so beautiful. It shone with a new radiance I'd never seen before.

Then it all faded.


	16. What's Left When It's All Gone

**What's Left When It's All Gone**

My eyes fluttered slightly, but everything outside of my head was blurry.

I tried to remember what I had been doing… Why did everything hurt… why was I so sore?

Flashes of memory burned in my mind. I had been… killed?

"Am I alive? Where am I?" I thought hazily.

My keirakukei network was throbbing and pulsing unpleasantly… as though an excess of chakra was trying to break out of the thin tubes. My heart seared with every beat to sustain me.

A shrill ringing began to fill my ears. I tried to raise my hands upwards to muffle the sound, but they shrieked in protest, so I let them drop, prone at my sides. I was finally able to deduce that I was laying on a table of sorts… maybe a bed… I wasn't upright as I had unconsciously presumed earlier.

The noise reverberating inside my skull began to lose volume. It soon reached a point where it became distinguishable as voices. The words still didn't make sense. Low mutterings and the soft drone of some sort of machine were all that had alerted me to my surroundings… besides the pain racking through my body.

I attempted to open my eyes again, and this time was met with success. The light coming from overhead stung my vision, but I forced my eyelids open determinedly.

Now I saw pixilated figures standing over me, weaving and swaying with the motion of my sight.

"…Who…?" I tried to ask, but no sound came out from my parted lips.

I sluggishly processed the information I was receiving and remembering… I should have been dead… so where was I?

A colossal roaring racket was building up from somewhere to my right. I didn't bother to turn my head. It grew in decibels, causing the table I was lying on to vibrate, then passed by, becoming fainter and echoing down some sort of metal corridor.

"…He's awake!" someone announced nervously. I didn't recognize the person… I couldn't see their face. This comment started an outburst of commotion from the others.

"What… the…?" I rasped weakly. I heard furious shushing from the first speaker.

"Oh, that hurts…" I said inside my mind. "Even talking is a…"

On the outside, I attempted to speak again.

"Who are you…?" The words took almost all of my energy to get out. Despite the massive amount of chakra swirling inside me, it didn't feel like my own… It wasn't right. Blood spurted out of my mouth as I heaved an enormous cough.

"Don't talk," said a calm female voice. "You're in critical condition."

"Yeah!" interjected a cruelly hysterical… familiar tone. "Wouldn't want this cute one to die… and after all the work I put into keeping him alive…!"

My body reacted before I could think of the consequences. I sat bolt upright, my right hand shooting out and finding the neck through which the accursed voice had resonated. My vision slid into focus, suddenly becoming sharp.

Her. The Sunagakure shinobi. The murderer of Suzume-chan. The person who still owed me her life… in exchange for the one she'd stolen from my best friend.

The kunoichi's mousy hair swirled as she flinched away from my grip. My strength and reflexes were dulled by the agony that racked my entire body. The pain seemed to sprout from the left side of my chest, winding its way up through my limbs.

"Whoa!" she cried in surprise, her gleaming eyes narrowing. "This one's got fight in 'im!"

I hacked up more crimson on my legs. I swore, panting.

"I'll… definitely kill you!" I gasped.

"If he's got this much life in him, we should get right down to the point before he recovers more… This is insane!" said a tall boy with green hair and sunken eyes.

I tensed up, wary to the point of no longer breathing. It felt like my heart was still beating out in the open… I shouldn't have been there… I felt half-dead! My hands stiffly found their way up to the left side of my chest. My fingertips brushed over a wide groove… It was raw and crusted over in blood. I flattened my palm against the indent… mouth met mouth. Oblivious to the other people in the room, my eyes, which had been staring straight ahead unfocusedly, drifted slowly down to my chest. Right over my heart was another mouth. I gaped at it in unmasked terror.

What had he done to me? WHAT had Takumi done to me?

The mouth in my chest had a strange sort of tattoo running around the opening… like a pointed globe and four wisps of cloud with three ripples running out from each grinning corner. I lifted my hand slightly, reluctant to bring the macabre thing into sight again. I felt a set of teeth deep inside my rib cage snap together. I winced, taking a sharp intake of air.

The maw opened wide, revealing wickedly sharp teeth and a long, pointed tongue that reached out greedily for sustenance. I tried to cover it again, to close it with a forceful push, but the mouth threatened to eat my own hand. Its tongue attempted to wrap around my wrist and draw my whole arm into… myself!

I groaned, doubling over as the cavern shifted deep within my body, withdrawing its tongue. I spat up more blood… this time the other three mouths decided to join me.

This mouth… it was untamed… unnatural. Despite the others not having been an original facet of my body, they were a part of me, they were mine… But this thing was unpredictable… I already knew I didn't have as much control over it as the others. This one had a feral feel about it; even I was repulsed by it.

"You, kid, what's your home village to you?" said a person with silver hair and bronze skin. Intelligent, hard eyes shone out from beneath a Kumogakure headband. He wore loose, white clothing that was patched and soiled with scarlet blotches. He carried himself differently than the others.

The young man observed my own, beaten-up Rock hitai ate with a suspicious glance.

"…Iwagakure… what does the place mean to you?" I was hardly listening to him, but I managed to take in the cloud engraved over his forehead.

"No! This isn't Kumogakure, is it? Where am I?" I panicked. The older teen pushed me back onto the cushioned gurney. I gazed past him, trying to figure out where I was. The place appeared to be… a warehouse, or something. There were huge wire shelves stacked to a low and dark ceiling. Aisles stretched down for kilometers… But everything felt stuffy and claustrophobic.

In the space of time I took to gawk at the place, a small fork lift had trundled down the strip of concrete, a crate with kana I couldn't make out on it sitting upon the bars.

"Hey, pay attention!" said the boy, hitting me lightly on the arm. The spot where he had made contact stung irritably. I showed him none of the hurt he had triggered when I acknowledged his impatient face.

"Tell me where I am first!" I said sharply.

"You're under no circumstances to negotiate, Iwa," said the other. "Tell me what your village is worth to you. I mean…" he narrowed his eyes. "That was quite the display back there… You totally helped us win."

"What?" I thought, my stomach rising in a knot. "It wasn't my fault...!"

"Went ballistic, you did… You killed some of our own… but you took a ton of your fellows."

I went even colder then I had been before. These were… the people who had attacked our base camp… They were bandits, or something!

I clamped my mouth shut, refusing to divulge anymore information… to set the blame any more heavily on my shoulders.

"Come on now…" said the shinobi, having a go at a soothing voice. It didn't suit him. "It's not like you can make things any worse. They'd never take you back now."

I didn't care about that. I never wanted to go back to Iwagakure anyway. I just didn't… well, I didn't know what I should do. I hated almost all of them… the people I had betrayed…_ almost_ all… But the few I had cared about were… dead. Their deaths were my conviction; I wouldn't further my damage to their surviving friends.

"Come on… we'll do this later… he's not cooperating," whispered a girl with a Takigakure headband and mask obscuring the lower half of her face. I recognized her as the calm female voice.

"Yeah… just sedate him, though… This one's special; unique," responded the Kumo ninja in a faint tone.

What he had just said had barely had time to register when the kunoichi pressed one of her slender hands against the bare skin of my shoulder… The boy said something else, then his words started blending, moving from clear to slurred. I began to lose feeling starting in my limbs until my whole body went numb.

"…and leave him conscious this time…" I caught before my vision and hearing slipped out of touch. They returned seconds later… and by that time I was lying on my back again with my head turned to the left. It took a great deal of effort for me to pick my lethargic gaze up from the floor, and to raise it to the people who had been grouped around my table.

Their backs were turned now; all seemed absorbed in some sort spectacle taking place in front of them. Someone shifted and a gap was created. Through that narrow space I saw, bound and bruised… Shin-san, Isamu-san, the blond girl, one of the older shinobi from Takumi's team, and… Hisoka. It appeared that the only people who I remembered that had escaped this predicament were Kazuki-san and Toshi-san. Two; that was all. The rest were either here or lying somewhere on the abandoned battlefield.

"You!" hissed Isamu-san, catching sight of my limp form. He looked like he was going to burst out of the thick ropes incarcerating him. "You killed her! You're going to… be dead when I…"

"I had… killed Amaya-san?" my brain tried to digest that piece of information. But my mind had become as insensitive as the rest of me.

"Sure, whatever…" one of the rogue nin cut in, waving an airy hand. "…Only if you can prove you're stronger, though. What can you do? Where does your allegiance lie?"

"Iwagakure no Sato." Isamu-san spoke from between his teeth. "There's nothing you can do to make me turn away, so just give up." His voice held a resolute note in it; stronger than steel.

"Same goes for me…" said the blond kunoichi passively.

"Amen to that," shouted Takumi's fellow.

"…For sure…" Hisoka exhaled slowly, his eyes meeting mine. They were unreadable. I didn't know what was going on inside his head.

The captives looked over at Shin-san, expectant.

His face was scrunched up… I could tell he was about to cry.

"…I'll join," he said, shaking with guilt. "That's what you want, isn't it? Just don't hurt me! I'll tell you everything I know about Iwagakure…"

"COWARD!" screamed Isamu-san, struggling against his restricted movements.

The Takigakure girl and the Kumogakure nin exchanged a rapid serious of words and gestures. My eyes were drying up. I blinked, losing my vision briefly.

The silver haired leader advanced on Isamu-san, his silhouette taking on a menacing posture. His legs hid Isamu-san from my view. I saw the man's hand drift down around to a pouch belted behind his left hip. I watched his fingers retrieve a long knife, not unlike the one the Suna kunoichi had used to…

I didn't want to think about Suzume-chan. If I did, emotion might just break through… realization might have ended up catching me off guard. If that happened, I wouldn't have been able to stand the grief.

In another blink of my cerulean orbs, the blade flashed through the air, and rent a deep slash through Isamu-san's neck. His corpse toppled over, blood already beginning to pool around his shuddering body.

"You still want to be a village slave, eh?" asked the leader, clearly under the impression that he had crushed everyone else's morale. "Now this one's got it right…" He pointed at Shin-san who was in total devastation. The Kumo shinobi added to the girl who had paralyzed me, "Put this one out, too, but don't leave him awake. We'll need him later."

The kunoichi obeyed, putting her palms to Shin-san like she had to me. He was out in a matter of seconds.

Several of the other bandits, or whatever they were, began untying him.

"I repeat… Do any of you wish to put your talents to better use? Do any of you want to escape that slavery… that oppressive burden of your home? Do any of you want to be free…?" the leader asked, leaning over the lot of them imposingly.

There was no answer. They all maintained emotionless facades, behaving the way they were told shinobi should.

He surveyed them all imperiously, taking vindictive pleasure in their helplessness. His blood-stained fingers made their way up to his face… and in a truly morbid gesture, he pulled his bottom eyelid down, rolling his eyes into the back of his head.

He began at the left of the row of captives lined up against the shelf. In single file, he began to slit throats… taking as long as was possible.

The blond girl. Gone.

Takumi's teammate. Gone.

No fear. No anger. No despair. Ninja to the end; they died stoically.

The Kumo leader paused in front of Hisoka; the last of the resistors. He ducked forward, getting nose to nose with Hisoka. The knife rose.

"It's useless."

"What'd you say?" asked the leader, his eyes widening to an unnatural circumference.

"I said it's useless. You've killed my comrades. You'll kill me. You might even kill Deidara-san." My breathing went shallow. "But you can't destroy our legacy. You who are divided from your homes like the shale splits from the canyon wall; you cannot win against the shinobi nations." Hisoka smiled faintly. "I know what you want. You've taken everything but my life from me. The truly strong don't give up and abandon their post when things get rough. You're afraid," Hisoka said disparagingly. "…But you know… no matter where you seek it… _freedom's an illusion._"

My pupils contracted. I didn't want to believe his statement. Deep down… I knew he was right. I had felt that way on the journey up the mountains, but now, after I had been hurt so badly by my village… it was convenient for me to believe otherwise. I put up an internal wall of denial at that moment.

"Think you're smart, eh? You don't know what you're talking about, junior!" The leader kneed Hisoka in the face, breaking his nose. Blood streamed down his smug smile.

"Reunite me…" Hisoka sighed wistfully.

The effects of whatever technique that had been used to restrain me were beginning to wear off. My mouth formed words that couldn't be contained any longer.

"…You're… wrong," I gasped, glaring at Hisoka. He looked bemused with the contradiction… but in a disapproved way. The Kumo leader and Taki girl glanced at each other but remained silent.

"Why?" asked Hisoka politely. I wanted to smudge… obliterate that expression.

"… You've given up, thanks!" I frowned to some degree. "You're gonna just lie down and let the village walk all over you? You're just going to accept it?" He twitched.

"It was my choice! I pledged my allegiance to Iwagakure!" yelled Hisoka, turning red in the face.

Mission accomplished.

I made a feeble attempt at laughter.

"No you didn't! Your father stood over your shoulder as you signed up for the academy. He pressed you into accepting that Rock hitai ate… without even being there. Admit it, you're tied inexorably to Iwagakure… and you are the one too weak to break away, too weak to CREATE freedom."

"What? Through sheer destruction?" Hisoka flared up, disbelief snapping in his voice.

"…If I have to… But I'm at least going to fight for it!"

The light haired leader stepped in between us, blocking our view of one another.

"Now I like this one's attitude!" He gave Hisoka a withering look after beaming at me. "…You on the other hand…" he clucked his tongue. "…Why are you so set on staying with those ninnies? Is it such a crime to save yourself?"

"…She wouldn't have wanted it…" Hisoka said more to himself then to anyone else. I couldn't see him anymore.

"WHO?" I cried, growing violent as pent-up agony began to flood the dam. "Who are you talking about?" As if I didn't know… And how dare he assume he knew what _she_ would want… what Suzume-chan would think! He had been her boyfriend… I had been her best friend.

"Enough!" said the leader, his demeanor turning stormy in an instant. We broke off, falling each into our own mutual hatred.

"What are we to do with you? …I was hoping to get you in…" he said in a mock-huff that concealed something dangerous. "…Guess we'll just have to break you down and send you back to your precious masters… I don't like outspoken children."

The Kumogakure ninja dealt another blow to Hisoka's crimson face. His knife flashed in and out of sight, a whirlwind of steel and blood. Hisoka cried out, trying to suppress the pain.

Against my will, my eyes began to fail again… eventually even Hisoka's exclamations of rage died away. I wasn't sure if it was because my ears were becoming deaf… or if he couldn't scream anymore.

It could have been mere seconds… it could have been minutes… it could have been hours. I'd never really be able to tell how much time the former Kumogakure shinobi took torturing Hisoka. I wasn't sure who had more blood on them… Hisoka, or the sadistic rogue. I'd never seen anyone take so much pleasure in raw violence as this boy did. A slice above the cheekbone, a stab in the ear… perhaps a bit of nose… the possibilities seemed endless. I decided then and there that he was the least artistic person on the whole planet.

A scary part of this situation was that the "BANG" was reveling in Hisoka's punishment. I could feel it writhe in delight beneath my inarticulate face.

When Hisoka's appearance had gone from handsome to like a mauled piece of meat, the Kumo ninja finally stopped. Hisoka no longer stirred… he was so still that I would have thought him dead if not for the barely evident rise and collapse of his chest.

"Leave him on the border near the target… I want them to find him," said the leader, throwing orders at whoever seemed to be nearest.

A small group of people began to pick up Hisoka's limp body. I could already distinguish the group's anarchy. They didn't need direct assignments or detailed instructions to get the job done.

I watched them go, getting a strange feeling of finality. This was it. He'd die from his wounds if the Iwa shinobi didn't find him quickly enough… though I knew they would. And what would he be able to tell the village about his captors? How would he go about living if he survived?

"Let him go, Yasu," said the leader, turning back to the dark haired Taki nin. He stared past her directly at me.

She obliged, making haste to complete her task. I felt her hands burning hot against my skin… then feeling began to work its way up through my body. I sat up, brushing her fingertips away before she had fully completed the process.

"Hey, don't do that!" she grumbled.

"Where are we?" I said immediately. "If I'm gonna join some stupid organization, then you'd better inform me."

"Of course…" said the Kumo shinobi, inclining his head mockingly. I would have killed him for that had I the strength left in my taxed body… and had someone not removed my clay pouches along with my shirt, shoes, and ponytail.

"We are currently residing in the most illustrious Takumi Village!" he said cheerily. The smile looked gruesome coupled with the blood splattered all up his front. "My name is Tetsuo, and I am the coordinator of this humble little antinationalist team." I cocked an eyebrow. Surely he meant "terrorist cell".

"Now, I have taken an interest in your formidable talents, as witnessed firsthand on the battle scene…"

"Which, by the way," I interrupted. "How did you find out about that mission in the first place? How did _she_ get unsealed…?" I asked, gritting my teeth, my eyes flickering in the direction of the preoccupied Suna shinobi.

"Oh, it's of minor consequence, really," he yawned extravagantly, stifling it behind a red stained hand. "Just plant someone in the trade registration, watch the networks, you know." He leaned in front of the table I was sitting on, propping himself up with his hands on his knees. "And, really… Kaede wasn't stumbling into you guys for no reason at all! She was part of the trap. All we needed was a little technology, and the superlative loser skills of our own little ex Sand nin!" He might have ruffled her hair in a brotherly way if she had been in reach. I curled my lip slightly without thinking, disgusted.

"Yeah, that's right; you're a stone-cold killer! I almost forgot," he said in response to my look. A funny statement for one I had just watched murder and beat four fellow human beings. "Anyhow… we gave her a tracking device, and sealed or not, it worked and led us straight past the genjutsu field. We knew you wouldn't have been able to stash her in the landscape… her chakra's not compatible. We knew you would have to take her with you one way or another. And you were all too naïve to search her any further after you found the gems we'd given her. You guys really fell for it. It was all perfectly planned, you see."

I tilted my head, loose strands of blond hair curtaining my features.

"What do you need with all these weapons?" I questioned tentatively.

"Weapons? Why would we need weapons? I just wanted to kill some people, that's all!" He chuckled at my look of astonished incredulity. "I'm kidding, get over it! …We need weapons to make freedom… you said so yourself; we'll create it...

"However, I sense you aren't joining this cause just for that, eh?" I didn't respond. Here was one of the last people on earth I'd want to divulge my motives to… especially when they were so vague even to myself.

He paused, and when I didn't elaborate, he questioned,

"What's your name, kid?"

"Deidara," I muttered noncommittally. I could tell that honoraries weren't a big deal with these people.

"Deidara… okay," Tetsuo nodded. "Good… I can definitely find a use for you. For now, I want you to recuperate; you almost died back there. I'm not really sure what the old man did to you, but it doesn't look pleasant." He eyed the mouth on my chest with an indifferent attitude. "I think we'll move on after you get better. It's no good to linger so near to the border…. Oh…" he added as an afterthought, straightening his spine. We were the only people remaining in the building as far as I could tell. The silence was thick.

"I'll know if you have a change of heart. And be assured… you won't escape more then twenty feet before you're dead," he grinned. "Stay alive!"

Shakily, I slid off the gurney sitting randomly beside one of the towering shelves.

I followed Tetsuo through a maze of aisles and concrete. The slap of my bare feet and his heavy zori were magnified by the emptiness. Reading some of the boxes lining the shelves in passing, I deduced they were filled with shinobi tools. Did they all belong to this group?

We came upon an employee's door shrouded in thick, translucent plastic strips. I pushed them aside awkwardly, cringing when they smacked my shoulders. Now we were in a blindingly lit hallway with scrupulously clean, shiny, white walls.

Hardly through the entranceway, and I was already vomiting up blood again.

Tetsuo didn't wait for the hacking to subside. He continued, as though completely oblivious to my pain. I tried to shuffle, half bent, after him, but my legs gave out and I fell in a splayed heap to the slippery tiles.

"Come now…" said the Kumo shinobi, wheeling about and speaking unnecessarily loud. "Don't make me flip'in carry you!"

"…Ah…" I moaned, putting a hand to my chest, trying to force the hurt away. He approached me with an irascible expression. "Don't…" I said sharply.

It took all of my willpower to raise myself to a standing position again. I was shaking from the exertion.

Satisfied, Tetsuo made way, taking me through a few more corridors and finally into a room like a freezer.

Mist swirled around my exposed feet, chilling me to my core and causing me to shiver even more violently. I hugged myself self-consciously.

Tetsuo rooted around the frosty wall, finally locking his grip around a handle. He gave a hefty yank, reefing a drawer open. After a little bit of rummaging with the unknown contents, he took a frozen bag and threw it into my crossed arms. I fumbled with it, growing more choleric by the second.

It had bumped against my palm-mouths' teeth, sending a shock up my arms. But I had no strength, no resolve to fight back… I'd get him back for it later, I told myself sleepily.

"Food," cried Tetsuo. It looked like the blood soaked through his clothes and skin was hardening. "…And take this too…" He tossed an ice pack at me.

Hastily, we retreated from the cold room. My azure eyes were half closed by now… I followed the leader's heels wearily, hoping he'd take me somewhere I could lie down again…

"How old are you?" asked Tetsuo, not looking at me, just plowing on ahead.

"Fif- Sixteen…" I corrected myself.

"No, you're not," he scoffed. "You look like a fourteen year-old."

"I think I should know how old I am, hmm," I said dryly. Then I corrected myself. "Well, maybe I am fourteen…" I sighed, too tired to argue anymore. Who knew how many times I'd been lied to. My age might not even be accurate. Ugh… did it really matter?

We approached a wall of matted, metal doors with numbers written across their frames. Tetsuo stopped in front of the one numbered 43.

"Your quarters for the now," he said boredly. "Here's some medicine, as well." He thrust a familiar jar at me, and this time I caught it deftly. Salve.

"Yasu took out those, uh, rock bits you had under your skin... What a nasty job! They were a-festering! And she bandaged your arm, in case you didn't notice, so do change the wrappings occasionally, won't you? What were you doing to yourself, masochist?" Tetsuo cackled. I tried not to let my mortified feelings show.

"Uh… thanks…" I said uncomfortably, feeling a spot on my left shoulder blade where there had been a rather aggrieved wound. The absence of the shard was made evident by the fabric-like tape sticking tautly to my skin. My arm's circulation was pinched by the movement, as the bandages were wound unnecessarily tight.

"Whatever. Wouldn't have saved you if you didn't hold some promise. I mean, you're not fully recovered. There's still some blood poisoning, but you'll just have to deal with it." Tetsuo shunted me into the room. "For now, get better so you can be useful. I'll give you the gist of what we're about when you wake up… mhm…" He glanced distractedly at the blood on his hands, as though noticing it for the first time. "…I'll send someone to check in on you in awhile…" He turned away, looking delighted with his work.

"Such a pretty colour…" he murmured. Maybe he did like art a little bit.

Tetsuo passed through the frame, saying jubilantly,

"You made the best decision of your life today, Deidara… We're going to end war and fighting… forever!"

Another lie.


	17. Stimulus

**Stimulus**

"_If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else." –Peter Laurence_

Someone had left clothes in my room.

I pulled on a black and white kimono over a low-cut mesh shirt, and donned a pair of grey capris. I found a dark red sash and tied it around my waist, slinging my one remaining clay pouch to the side of my left hip bone. Besides my bangs, my hair was left lank and dead; I couldn't find anything to tie it up with.

Putting a hand against my chest, my heart beat a little faster… just behind the wild mouth. It was a disconcerting feeling… as though it might just snap the organ up if it got too exuberant.

But it wouldn't… as far as I had guessed. Takumi had missed. He had wanted me to kill myself with this thing… and I predicted he might still get his wish if I were to feed it clay, or any earthen material. Judging by how close the mouth was to my heart, and how it became more active when I was under pressure and stress, I thought it was still connected to my heart somehow… perhaps through the gate, Shimon… And if that was so, it could mean anything that went in and was compatible with my chakra might not ever come out… It might turn _me_ into a bomb… flow directly into my veins through my heart…

The idea was exhilarating…! If I could find a way to confirm my theory without killing myself just yet… then I'd know for sure that I would never die as some weak old man clinging to life like the world thought it should cling to art.

As much as I despised Takumi for the agony had put me through, I couldn't help but see a bright side in my situation… but, no, I'd never be thankful. I could become art if need be. And the time would present itself to me someday. I knew it… and I wasn't afraid.

I sat on my ugly, brown bed, putting my head in my hands. I looked down at my bare, flip-flop clad feet, staring at them through a tunnel of blond hair. I remembered observing them the same way in a time that was years ago. It had been on Suzume-chan's porch when I had had a particularly rough day at the academy. I had tried to hide most of my insecurities from her, but she had caught me that day and seen what had happened. I could recall sitting on one of her cracked, second-hand lawn chairs, before she had replaced them with new ones, and sipping tea that could only have been so bitter because Suzume-chan had just learned how to make it from scratch. It had only been a little while since she'd moved out… and at such a young age. We would graduate in three weeks from that day.

Why had she never been more then a friend? Was our relationship merely something forged from pity and the duty that everyone must feel at some point in their lives… just to help the weak, to be the one to stand up for those who just couldn't yet?

Truthfully, somewhere deep down, I knew that I mourned for what I'd never had just as intensely as for what I'd lost that day… the one that hung omnipresent in my mind. Even if I never deserved her love… anyone's love… I had craved it. In place of love, I'd made explosions to fill the emptiness. Now, it was almost as though there was no distinction between the two anymore. The need to be loved was only something that floated far beneath my conscious thoughts and feelings.

I kept thinking she wasn't gone… I thought that I could just recall her in an instant and that the only reason she wasn't here was because I was too lazy to bring her back. Her last few breaths seemed like our only meaningful moment together.

I got up suddenly, realizing that the longer I sat and went over the events of the past few days, the more likely I was break down. My tactic was going to be to avoid everything having to do with my former life until it all faded away… like memories tend to do. There would be scars… for a fact. The ones you could run your fingers over, the physical evidence of my shame written on my body… and then the wounds that were engraved inside my skull. The ones that I wanted to erase the most of all.

But pain was merely a sensation. I could turn it off if I trained myself not to pick it up.

I hovered over the doorknob that hid what came next for me. Where was I to go once I'd left my solitude? This would be the first time I'd ventured out in two days since I'd been dropped in my room to sleep off the toll of battle and stress. What was I expected to do now?

I clenched my fist around the knob, holding it unnecessarily hard. I felt the palm-mouth on my right hand send out a jolt of pain. I relinquished my grip, turning back to the watermarked sheets of my bed… if that's what you wanted to call it. It was nothing more than a mat and thin blanket in the corner of the blindingly shiny room.

I had left my pack and its meager contents behind when I'd joined the fray at base camp. But unbeknownst to me at first, I had somehow found a moment to tuck the note from Hisoka to Suzume-chan in a pocket of my old pants.

My few possessions were strewn haphazardly across the floor. I dug among the clothing heaped near the nook by my bed. The thin slip of paper I withdrew had almost been shredded to bits by my constant revisal of it. I had taken it out over and over again so often to reread its faded contents, that the print was almost gone, and my sweaty hands had begun to wear down the note's fibers. Whenever I wasn't staring blankly at the letter, I was trying to find some loophole in its contents… something to further justify what had happened to Suzume-chan and Hisoka. But analyzing that which is ridden with emotion and feelings as tangible as my art… had never been my strong point. I was good at taking apart solid stuff… science, in a sense. But I just didn't want to take anything from emotion. I couldn't really relate to it anymore. My old self was as alien as the current me had first been.

So, I asked myself… Did I really need a better reason to have reacted the way I did, to have engaged in such senseless violence? No. And as much as my conscience was trying to tell me it was my fault she was dead… I refused to accept it. Just as it had never hit me that I'd killed Amaya-san. And I had really liked her… not in the same way as I thought I had liked Suzume-chan… but nonetheless, I had taken an interest in her… she reminded me of myself a bit, or the way I used to be.

So many dead.

My mind wandered.

A part of me was gone again.

A sharp rap against the door caused my head to snap up. My heart raced, repeating the unpleasant sensation of awakening the mouth.

"You, get up… Listen to me!" a muffled voice called irritably.

I didn't respond, other than to slide the missive under the dirty blanket over my bed. I heard a key scrape into a slot and a few mechanical clinks. I had been locked in…

The door opened a tentative crack, and a partially obscured face peeked in. The sallow-skinned, emerald-haired boy with the hollow eyes glared at me. I returned his expression with interest, displeased with the interruption of my meditation.

"Tetsuo requests your presence at his afternoon meal. That means you come now; no options," he said in a longsuffering tone. "You've been sleeping for three days; it's about time you bloody got up."

The word "bloody" brought a maelstrom of mental images cascading over the internal waterfall within my head.

"What if I don't want to come…?" I hissed, pulling myself into a cross-legged position.

The other boy swore, stamping a foot against the shiny floor. The sound clacked annoyingly.

"Be it your funeral, you stubborn… He said you'd do something like this, so he said he'd come and murder you personally if you didn't show within the next five minutes."

I sneered, but thought better then to proclaim the response that was on the tip of my tongue. I would have refused the order had I not still been in such a poor condition. Despite the fitful slumber I had managed and the fact that my wounds were finally being attended to, I wasn't doing very good. The frozen package Tetsuo had given me before our parting had contained a staple diet of vegetables and a scanty portion of what might have been meat. I had had to sit and wait for several hours before the food had thawed enough for it to be chewable. Now I was ravenous. What could be the harm in eating with the psychopath? How different could we be at this point? He got his pleasure from blood and physical mutilation, whilst mine came from explosions… **art**.

I got up, swaying as blood rushed to my head. The other boy was evidently relieved. He rolled his black eyes, closing them at the end of their waiting for me to recover my senses, he spun on his heel and bolted from the surgically clean room. My tangled hair swished about as I shook my head, trying to nudge the emotions threatening to overwhelm me.

**…X.X…**

"So, Deidara… Tell me, what do you like to do? Any hobbies?" Tetsuo tucked his cheap, paper napkin down the front of his thankfully bloodless shirt. He shoved it down so far that it was of little use as he began to scarf down a plate of cold chicken and leeks. I sat across from him, eating sullenly, watching and forgetting for a moment that he was a dangerous criminal.

The "dining room" was green. Everything looked florescent green. The eyebending colour was giving me a headache. Bright chairs, counters, cupboards… A really weird table, taller then most, which you didn't have to kneel at.

Hunched over his food, Tetsuo's wild eyes flickered upwards towards my face. I guessed an answer was mandatory.

"…I like art…" I said slowly. The "BANG" begged for some elaboration. This kind of passion couldn't be expressed with, "I like art", it persisted. That kind of description was _ridiculous_.

"What art?" Tetsuo spat some vegetable chunks at me. "…You can't possibly mean that… cheese you make and blow up?"

My eyes bugged out. I accidentally dropped my chopsticks. I began to swing my legs underneath the shiny table. A million retorts were screaming for release.

"Aha… Did I hit a soft spot?" he asked nonchalantly, then…

With a movement hardly discernable, he sprang to his feet and tipped the short table and its contents onto me. I jumped up, leaping back and crashing into the wall. In a second's space, Tetsuo was against me and shouldering me hard into the jip rock.

His humid breath was moistening my forehead. My free hand reached for the clay pouch.

"_Don't mock me!_" the leader shrieked, deranged. "Don't you dare let it cross your puny mind that you can oppose me! Nothing can, nothing can!" he screamed in my face. I cried out as a sharp pain bolted through my wrists. It was as though the nerves had been severed… then I couldn't feel my hands anymore.

"Get off, you…" I spat a few colourful adjectives his way. Surprisingly… this seemed to amuse him.

Tetsuo leaned away, letting me slide to the ground. I tried to move my arms in a way as so that I could get up, but they were stuck in a position that rendered them half-bent at the elbows. They hung there, crooked and useless. Tetsuo laughed at me unkindly.

"You really aren't anything without those hands, are you? Just a brat with a bad temper and serious angst problems!"

I struggled to pull myself to my feet. I didn't care if he was going to kill me, I just wanted to make him hurt as badly as I could before I died.

"Deidara…" Tetsuo crouched down to my level, watching my fight with gravity. "You're too useful to kill yet." He shoved me back onto my backside. "And you're smarter then that, right?" he grinned.

Tetsuo straightened his lanky frame, walking over to the upturned table and seating himself in one of the remaining chairs.

"Do you know the definition of "nationalism", Deidara?"

"Yeah, who doesn't, hmm?" I said venomously.

"Tch, tch…" Tetsuo blew air between his teeth. "Now, now... No need for that tone. I was asking a mere question."

It felt like my heart was doing some insane tap-dance inside my chest. I could feel the mouth growing restless. It prodded its tongue out experimentally. The way Tetsuo had responded to my anger… it was like Takumi would have.

I coughed dryly, then blood began to splatter my capris.

Seemingly heedless to what was transpiring, Tetsuo continued.

"So, Deidara, if you know the definition of nationalism, then you should also know what it means to be an "antinationalist", yes?"

A ribbon of crimson dripped down from the corner of my mouth to the edge of my chin. I looked up into his deceitful face.

"…It means you're against nationalism, hmm… everyone knows that…" I grunted.

"NO, they don't!" Tetsuo cackled maniacally. "Look at this broken world we live in!" he kicked his feet up, propping them on another chair.

"You know… Deidara? The world would be a better place without this shinobi nation crap."

"What?" I asked suddenly, interrupting what would have been a well-planned debate. I wasn't really sure why he was bringing up shinobi nations.

"What what?" he said sharply. "You didn't join just because of my good looks!" He swept a lock of silver hair aside. "You joined because you wanted to unite the ninja of the world, didn't you?" He had cut right to the chase.

"I thought… this was about freedom…" I said slowly, feeling stupid.

"Of course it is! Stop being such a dolt!" Tetsuo said cantankerously. "Do I have to spell it out for you?"

"No!" I said quickly, realizing where he was going. "In order to gain freedom, we must destroy shinobi villages. And in order to destroy shinobi villages, we must obliterate the need for them. If there are no shinobi villages, there are no regions to compete with one another for business… no need for feudal lords. Without shinobi, crime would surely break out… giving rise to a need of unity in order to combat the increase in trouble. You could almost… given the right circumstances… unite these nations, thus getting rid of nationalism in the process, uniting the world under a central government. No villages, no shinobi strife… No obligations. Or something like that…" I trailed away.

Heh… what a lie. There was no way that was going to happen.

"Yes, it's along those lines. You get it now?"

"Hmm…" I grunted, turning my eyes to the vert tiles.

"No ninja, no wars for competition! We'll create a united world, where we will all work towards a common interest. No more fighting!" Tetsuo was so unconvincing… it was just… ridiculous.

"Yeah," I obliged dully. His gaze whipped around faster than I could finish the word. "…Ah!" I picked up the low tone, attempting to make it sound interested and fired up.

"Good. Then we're understood," he said, making the statement seem like a threat. "You get it, right? Sacrifices are necessary to save further loss of life in the future. You're not going to mope about your friends." It wasn't a question.

I tried to bring myself to my feet again. Tetsuo scrutinized me closely, neither helping nor hindering.

"You haven't answered me yet," he said coldly, as I managed to stand up next to the table. I noticed that the legs on the side that had been facing Tetsuo had been bent back so far that they'd almost snapped off.

I betrayed no emotion as I responded.

"They weren't my friends. I hated them all."

_Feed me lies-I'll give you the same_.

"That's dandy. 'Cause I took the liberty of cleaning up some more of your ex-teammates on the way to dropping that mouthy kid off," said Tetsuo, smiling most gregariously.

"…Hisoka…" I murmured.

I'd kill him some day. He'd survive this disaster. And I'd kill him.

"We're moving out. This base's getting unstable, so we're going to… ah, pass through Kaze no Kuni, then cut into Amegakure. I'd rather not go through Kuma no Kuni… funny things are happening there. And there's no way I'm taking you guys back over Tsuchi no Kuni's mountains. It was pain enough carrying hostages and your deadweight…"

I squinted at him.

"Why? What's your plan of action? Geez, what're we doing? How do we attain these goals? I thought you'd tell me," I asked him, not really caring about the answers.

"Don't you worry your pretty little head," Tetsuo said, his voice hinting at something dangerous. "That's for me to figure out. I'm not new to this. I need your… talents. And if I have those, you'll reap the benefits alongside me."

"Fine, I snapped bluntly.

I received another blow.

"Don't. You. Talk. To. Me. Like. That. You've got a lot to learn, Snot."

**…X.X…**

It had taken me no longer than the amount of time that was necessary for me to stow away my travel worn belongings and step out into the hall for everything in the warehouse to be packed away and ready for transport. By that, I mean… everything.

After a bit of wandering around, I found the room we had been interrogated in. All of the insanely tall shelves and merchandise-like items were gone. The room was left hollow and empty, like the shell of some great monster. I felt like I was standing inside the skeleton of a giant tortoise. It was odd.

I heard footsteps echoing down the corridor I had come from, and when I turned, I saw the green-haired boy leading a congregation of ragtag terrorists.

I could already tell that some of them weren't ninja. The way they moved was awkward, and they shouldered their heavy burden of scrolls with an untrained amount of difficulty.

"Here." The boy handed off some of the summoning scrolls he had had tied to his back and thrust them at me. I took them grudgingly, slinging them over my shoulder and turning abruptly, whapping him upside the head with their ends in the process. I heard him curse, but I was already at the back of the group before he could retaliate.

There was going to be no special treatment for me… that… boy would make sure of that. I would fade into the rest of those mediocre ex-shinobi and outcasts… disappear within their iniquity.

For then, I'd comply. I'd obey…

But as soon as I regained my strength… if ever I returned to full health… I'd kill whoever stood to oppose me. I'd… destroy Tetsuo if he pushed me again. His petty little, subversive dreams were nothing more then selfish ambition, and I would not fuel his desire. I'd only pursue art. And if Tetsuo's ideals didn't match up with my own, I'd drop him like a hot work fresh from a clay oven.

At first, I decided I'd have a go at this "freedom" concept he spoke of. I'd try… but I wouldn't exert myself to make anything happen. It was so inconsequential, after all. I wasn't going to live forever. If I even cared, and if I genuinely tried, then by the time we'd have a united world, I'd be old and wasted away… And like I cared about leaving a "better world" for future generations. Yeah, right. Everyone should have just let it go by now… and accepted that it had seen its day. This earth was no more. It wouldn't get better; it'd get worse. Inevitably. I wasn't one to give up easily, but I knew a lost cause when I saw one… and that was exactly where I was heading with this organization.

I followed the huddle of people through the empty plane and out into a sunlit afternoon. I had thought it was night… But my concept of time was messed up as it was, having been confined indoors for days on end in the sterile, windowless walls.

Shafts of dusty light hit the people thronging around me, pressing in on all sides. There was quite a crowd… But less than I'd expected; maybe… 60-70 of the rebels.

There was a lazy, proverbial feel to the way everyone was gathered. They conversed loudly with friends, quarreled with enemies and some even made-out, kissing passionately.

No one talked to me, or even acknowledged that I was there. It seemed like routine for new members to be picked up frequently. There was nothing outwardly interesting to distinguish myself from the others, either… in my boring, inartistic kimono. I wasn't about to start waving my hands about.

Someone bumped into me, which wasn't unusual, except that this person hit me particularly hard. I spun around, swearing angrily, only to find no one there. I blinked.

"Down here. Sorry, Deidara-san."

I followed the timid voice, turning my head to the left slightly, and then bringing my eyes down. It was Shin. The poor kid looked like he was going to pee himself… and in nice, fresh clothing, too. He had been given one of the generic, white kimonos that most people there wore, oddly combined with a pair of blue jeans.

"Hmm," I said quietly, a connotation of contempt just below the surface of my tone.

"Do you know what's going on? I've been locked in some place for… the whole time. Nobody told me what was happening, so what are we doing?"

I gave him a withering look. My respect for everyone, especially the Iwagakure shinobi had dropped to zero. Shin had only joined to save his own hide, and even if I wasn't sure why I had accepted Tetsuo's offer, I knew it wasn't for the same reasons as Shin. I had such a deep purpose… so deep I didn't fully understand it yet. But I would.

"Going to Amegakure," I said unhelpfully. I wondered if he'd seen what had happened to me.

"Oh…" Shin fell silent. I knew he was still ruminating over everything that had transpired. I didn't care if he felt guilty. I had no sympathy to offer, and empathy wasn't a real thing anymore, because no matter how bad it was for him, it wasn't the same as what I was going through.

He opened his mouth to say something else, but was cut off by a booming announcement.

"So, my fellow revolutionaries, we set off for the next frontier! Amegakure. Divide into five to six man cells, and we will commence with instructions," Tetsuo's words rang out eloquently. I saw him standing above the crowd on some sort of shaky scaffolding propped up against the wall of the warehouse.

"Really?" I thought. "That sounds like short notice." I pivoted on the spot, neglecting Shin's anxiety. "What? Just any random group of four to five people? Oh, no, five to six…"

I wasn't sure why Tetsuo had taken me aside that morning to talk to me alone. At that point, I considered that I might actually know more then the rest of the people clamoring around me.

Yep; that was anarchy.

Shin grabbed my arm helplessly like a small child. I flinched, resisting the urge to blow him up. He was so… pathetic.

In one startling instant, everyone seemed to be together in their groups. I guessed it was something they did often, as well.

Tetsuo surveyed the scene majestically, sweeping glances at everyone down his long nose. He noticed us right away. The matted, blond sociopath and dependent, little cling-on attached to his wrist. Why did I feel like my Iwagakure hitai ate was burning a hole through my forehead?

"You." He pointed a finger at me. "…And you too." The convicting finger moved down slightly. "Here." He thrust his thumb behind him.

I clapped my hands together, raising my arms and making like I intended to drive a wedge through the masses of people. They shifted aside, letting me pass with Shin.

The laughter and talk had died down to an awkward muttering. When we reached the thing Tetsuo was standing on, I was given my first clear view of Takumi Village… or part of it.

We appeared to be standing on a small mountain overlooking the village. Steel could be seen gleaming from forges and hanging off of rooftops even from our distance. It would have been an interesting place to explore. But, being up and away from the village suggested that its inhabitants weren't supposed to figure out what was happening on the summit. Reaching out with my mind, I felt a genjutsu field hovering over the building.

I wasn't given nearly enough time to appreciate all of Takumi's aspects. I wanted to see everything, I wanted to search for art… but all that was forgotten when Tetsuo gave out his next order.

"Dei… Deidara, was it? Swap headbands with Kaede. Now."

"What…?" I jerked my head around, taking in all of the people who I had just noticed were standing behind the scaffolding. The nasty, green-haired boy had made it, along with Yasu-the masked Takigakure ninja who had paralyzed me, and… the Suna girl. Murderer. She was the one they called "Kaede".

"No!" I refused pointblank.

Tetsuo was too high up to hit me, but that idiot with the grassy hair managed to make up for Tetsuo's loss. My fingers twitched, and unconsciously, my left hand began to wander down to my clay pouch.

"Thank you, Nobu…" Tetsuo sighed. His gaze shot in my direction. "Don't even think about it." He glanced at the crowd again, seeming to assure himself of something one last time before he hopped down, landing lightly beside me.

His hand shot out, but I recoiled from his touch. In the moment I took to back away, his other hand came up and grabbed the metal plate of my hitai ate. He yanked hard, and I felt the double knot at the back slip loose. My forehead protector came off in his grip, letting my bangs slip down slightly and magnifying the dead-look that had come about them.

I halted. Tetsuo handed my hitai ate to Kaede, smiling sadistically. She gave him her own Sunagakure headband, and he released it to me inturn. I took it, not sure what to make of the sweaty, accursed thing.

"Wear it," said Tetsuo firmly.

"Why?" I asked, again not really caring about the answer… 'cause either way I didn't want to touch the thing that had been in such close contact with that girl… that had probably tasted the splatter of Suzume-chan's blood!

"Ah, it's standard issue for new rogues. You gotta assume a false identity for awhile, at least until the wanted posters and such clear up, or they erase you from the bingo book. This is as far as we go; I'm not cutting your girly hair."

"Come on!" I spat. "Surely this won't fool them! Why not just not wear one at all?" I stared at the crusty old hitai ate in my hands. I resolutely tried to stop my palm-mouths from licking it.

Why hers? Why_ hers_? That… had wanted to torture me with this…

"This works better. Trust me," Tetsuo complained. I didn't.

I felt a gust of icy wind scrape over my bare forehead, like the flat of a blade.

"You look even younger with your hair down!" Tetsuo threw out. I closed my eyes, and brushing my bangs aside, tied the wretched headband on. It stank of sweat… and blood.

Casting my gaze down, I contemplated how I was expected to pretend to be a Sunagakure shinobi… if I'd even need to. From what I'd heard, the Village Hidden in the Sand was a vicious, strict place where elite ninja were bred and only the strongest survived. And from what the elders told us back in Iwagakure, our home village had been the same. But standards had fallen, and war had taken a toll on the nation's hopes and resolve. I had almost thought such losses would have given way to a new passion… but they obviously hadn't.

I watched the Suna girl tie my headband on in place of her own revolting one. She was staring ahead somewhere else, but after she finished tying a third knot into my hitai ate, she looked up and smiled audaciously.

"Is that all you _wanted_?" I said through gritted teeth, trying to make the words sound as insolent as was possible. Tetsuo observed my shaking fists.

"Yeah," he said passively. I turned; ready to disappear into the broader group. "Hold up. I didn't tell you to go. Stick around… I've taken a liking to you." He grinned, revealing his lunch again. "Welcome to the executives."

My face scrunched up into some anemic impression of contentment. I just couldn't quite manage a genuine look.

Tetsuo chose to overlook my evident lack of enthusiasm. He jumped back onto the scaffolding.

"Everyone informed now?" he shouted, his eyes flickering from person to person. I deduced that he had sent people into the groups who actually knew about the plans, whatever those were… The small posse of people closest to Tetsuo probably had more to their numbers among the overall crowd.

When no contradictions arose, Tetsuo put his hands together in a final sort of way.

"Let's go. Cells split into numerical order as assigned by your captains. Reconnaissance will go first. Inmetsu, fall back."

"Inmetsu? Destruction?" I wondered. "What was that supposed to be?"

I saw the Taki kunoichi leave with Kaede, who grabbed Shin's hand playfully and tugged him along after her. I saw her fingernails dig into his flesh. He twisted his head to look back. I noticed he hadn't had to swap his headband. I chose not to comment on it. I'd just bear their mind games for then…

I made to follow suit and pursue Shin, but Tetsuo was suddenly behind me again. I felt his hand on my shoulder… his hard, merciless grip penetrated through my kimono and seemed to make my whole body run cold.

I was extremely close to freaking out on him… but somehow I managed to contain myself. My limit was drawing near…

"Come here, Deidara… I want you to see this." He dragged me much like Kaede had taken Shin.

Tetsuo seemed to forge his way through the crowd with no difficulty whatsoever. They parted like a wave of oil at the bow of a mighty ship. Everyone seemed to be streaming away to the east, past the warehouse's steel walls and down the opposite side of the hill… out onto the rocky plains.

We pushed against the flow, breaking out finally after a moment of confusion.

I could still hear the chaotic chattering of voices… but they were getting fainter by the second. The groups were moving fast. It wasn't going to take me long to figure out why.

"Okay, Deidara. Stand back here with me… I think the preparations are almost ready."

"_Preparations? What?"_

There were still a few people hanging around the building. They were busy at work doing… something. Crouching down and… Realization hit home. I had a good idea of what they were up to now…

"You know, we're quite the itinerant little organization." Tetsuo winked dangerously. I wasn't sure what I should have made of the gesture.

I was keeping an eye on the people lingering around the key points of the warehouse… It was so huge I could only see a few of them.

The green haired boy-Nobu- was there…

"No, he couldn't have been involved in _that_…"

I began sucking in air rapidly. He was making hand seals and yelling to his fellows.

"…Because we move so often, it is essential that we don't leave traces…" Whatever Tetsuo had to say next, I never heard, because at the moment a titanic BOOM thundered out.

The many corners of the warehouse were caving in. A ton of explosions had gone off and all blended into one monotone pitch. There was light… and fire.

Tetsuo watched me hungrily, seeming to crave some sort of reaction. I denied him it.

"Yeah, nice "BANG", but not art. Harmony in discord, but still not art," I gave out my critique blandly.

We watched the rest of the demolition in silence. The building crumbled in on itself. Glass from unseen windows and plastic buckled, then shattered, creating a cacophony of snaps and plinks. Heavy beams and odd combinations of tarp bent and tore. When the dust and smoke had cleared, all that was left of the "base" was a tangled mass of steel and wire that resembled the legs of a flaming, shriveled, dead spider.

"You never know, huh, Deidara? I might just end up assigning you to the Inmetsu squad. We need some psychos to blow stuff up, after all!" he chuckled quietly.

"Why do you think I'd want to do this, hmm?" I folded my arms, speaking grudgingly. "This isn't art… Those were just upper level explosive tags, and a few sticks of dynamite. Not to mention some simple chemistry…" Tetsuo looked confounded. I hooked onto his bewilderment.

"What? You thought I'd be so simple as to just love **any old explosion**, hmm? There was no art in the first place! No care, no devotion that went into that display. It was necessity, wasn't it? There has to be art in the first place for you to make it even better," I snorted cynically.

"This is art, take a good look; you might learn something!" I whipped my hand in and out of the clay pouch at my side. Faster then Tetsuo could get over his shocked indignation, I had made a tiny sparrow from the clay. It perched astride my palm-mouth's lolling tongue in an ungainly way. I laughed crazily.

"Ahaha! Two-dimensional deformation matched to perfect lines! Or vice versa…" I couldn't help the grin that was breaking out.

Tetsuo just stared. He was totally unreadable. I couldn't tell if he was angry or impressed… or what?

"We're moving out," he said coldly. A hint of premonition flashed about the smile he hid behind his shimmering, silver hair. Did he know, was he granted some sort of portent; a look into my ill intentions for his future? His impending death?

The green-haired boy and his fellows were apparently sealing the rubble into a number of scrolls. They worked sloppily, making haste to finish their task.

Tetsuo cuffed me upside the head before started the long walk that lay before us.

* * *

**AN: **Which is it: "un", "uhn", "hmm", "h'mm", "hmph"? Know what…? Every time Deidara utters that grunting suffix, it sounds different. I went on You Tube and listened to these clips with Dei just mumbling. I admit, it sounds like he's saying "un" most of the time… in a deep, guttural way. But it also sounds like "hmm" with a very faint "hu" sound at the beginning, the "h" being almost silent. That's how I write his little quirk. I imagine it like you hear it on the anime, and most times I heard the "h" vaguely, so I decided on writing the sound like "hmm". I just had to get that out, because, being the freak that I am, I was thinking long and hard about that after I went:

"Oh… looky here… Everyone does Deidara's grunt as "un"… Urk! Is there something wrong with me! I feel exposed using the "hmm"! Perhaps I was wrong… or my hearing's faulty…" OR, amateur that I was in Dei's awesomeness, I did whatever I first saw/ heard him say. So I did research again. But, really, I guess when the Part Two manga comes out officially in English… that'll finalize it in my head… either way. (Or I'll just go into denial!) Worrisome… I need help. So… imagine the "hmm" like a deep sound with an almost indistinguishable sort of beginning. Okay? XD Thanks.


	18. Allies or Alias?

**Allies/Alias?**

I watched Nobu's ankles with almost undivided attention. They were skinny and ugly. He didn't wear zori; instead heavy boots… and no socks.

I ran my fingers gently over the bird in between my palms. I didn't know when there'd be an appropriate time to detonate it.

My hands didn't feel like they worked properly anymore. They were half-numb, as Tetsuo hadn't released his jutsu. I had had to wait for the effects to gradually wear off. Though, things would have been worse if the broken ankle I had received during my spar with Hisoka hadn't been mended.

I brushed my fingertips against the indent of an hourglass that rested over my forehead. It was foreign… and totally, completely unwanted. I hated it.

…:-:…

I thought. And conversed with myself. The "BANG" versus the reasonably withdrawn:

"Yep… yep… Add a bit of heat and take a little from… uh, type two… and we have colour, hmm!" I muttered quietly. "M equals sT4…"

_I'm gonna kill him, that dictator… real good, too. A big BANG… with… purple, yeah._

"If I'm going to finalize my art… as a jutsu, then I need to subdivide it. How will I rank it…? Well, I usually put a tiny amount… uh, 2/400ths of my chakra into a small-scale explosion for only minor burns and shock…"

_Why's she looking at me like that? Piece of filth… Murderer. Just turn away before I spit in your face._

"Should tie up my hair when we stop next time… Driving me insane…"

_It starts out orange… then it turns yellow… the outer fringes go dark red, and then in its appetite for oxygen, it starves and dissipates._

"Slo-mo… this is taking so… long… I hate monotonous… nothingness…"

_Let's eat something… I'm hungry…_

…:-:…

Seconds.

Minutes.

Hours.

Days.

Time passed like sludge slipping through a colander. It was like being caught in limbo. Nothing held any significance.

We crossed the border into the Land of Wind with absurd ease. Tetsuo had really planned how the procedure would be successful… Splitting everyone into small groups and dispersing them over the countryside had been well-planned. And that was just what I was able to deduce… for all I knew, he could have taken further measures.

Despite the apparent anarchy, he seemed to have everything under his thumb. He was strange. If I thought about Tetsuo for too long, I'd grow frustrated trying to uncover his personality. I had trouble enough trying to take apart "average" people's morals and limitations… but this one was totally erratic and spontaneous.

I began to think of him in a fondly brutal way, subliminally referring to him as the "Artist of Sporadic". It was a term that meant only to me, that I'd kill him eventually. He was no artist. Quite the opposite… Or was that just something I'd decided out of jealousy? But jealousy for what?

Whenever these musings began to draw my focus away from my calculations, I had to take a moment or two to go back to the present. I was trying to create formulas and rankings for my various explosives… and I had to be on my guard at all times. I was apt to be kicked by a passerby; most likely Tetsuo himself, or interrogated without warning.

I found that, depending on who you asked and what mood he was in, Tetsuo was either the scourge of all men, or the one who was going to pull us out of our feudal days.

I knew that getting into the Land of Rain wouldn't be as easy as passing through Kaze no Kuni… There was strict border control there… and rumors that I had labeled as "fanciful" stating that the country was in a state of civil war. I dismissed the notion as ridiculous, reasoning that they'd want to stick together, being in such a volatile state and all. Sitting at a strategic point that often staged the wars between Konohagakure, Sunagakure, and Iwagakure… not to mention Kusagakure, should have encouraged the citizens of Amegakure to band together… Well, it should have. But I'd been wrong before… despite my reluctance to admit it. Tetsuo had proven a good point when he had spoken of nobody learning about nationalism and its consequences… obviously the same principle of theory could apply to Amegakure not uniting in their time of need.

That's why I wanted to be alone. You wouldn't have any obligation to join forces, for there'd be no one to join with. I didn't need a reason, of course. But there was a ready-made one.

…:-:…

It had been three days under a full week since our terrorist organization had set out. We were on the verge of crossing over to Ame no Kuni. The scenery had evidently taken a drastic turn; going from barren, desolate, sand dunes, to a sparse few trees… then what began to build up to a forest. With these strange pines and leafy bounties, also came the most intense rain I'd ever experienced. I was under a constant, incessant downpour. Surely… It would stop, I had thought. But my certainty became non-existent after two days spent soaking wet. How could these people live in this constant moisture? It was irritating… and wore away on my already thin nerves.

I hadn't been informed on how we were to make a successful infiltration, but I had begun to work things out on my own. Groups were splitting, seemingly into… categories. Sunagakure shinobi could be seen together, Kusagakure were side-by-side, Konoha was united; all the identifiable ex-shinobi were falling into formation with each other. Tetsuo appeared to be sending them into Amegakure territory in day-or-longer intervals… I also noticed that they tried their hardest to pass through the gates at times when other outsiders seemed to be crossing as well. I guessed that some of our groups were going in under the guise of trade expeditions, or merchant shinobi. Packing the heavy scrolls about would seem average for a trader. Overall, everyone was doing their best to blend… But I still wondered how this could possibly work. Once inside the country, and even more so in the city, everyone would be under constant, 24/7 surveillance.

CRUNCH!

Heads whipped around. Tetsuo narrowed his eyes, Yasu raised an eyebrow, Nobu hocked a loogie, Kaede laughed quietly, and Shin didn't know what to express.

"…" Silence. "…Deidara… are you taking something I don't know about…? One too many soldier pills, perhaps? I told you one would do last night…" Tetsuo tentatively questioned me. I knew that his tone meant nothing; he could be implying something that was completely the opposite of what simple, "normal" human body language had within its boundaries.

"…No… of course not…" I said, my mouth full of bark. I chewed meticulously, swallowing with a rapid clench of my throat. The wood forced its way down my esophagus like a dirty centipede clawing its way through a hollow log.

Yasu shook her head.

"This one's not going to live long if you just let him have free-run like this…" she said to Tetsuo, crossing her arms. "I think there's something wrong with his…" she fell silent, looking nervous. She was probably going to say that she thought there was something wrong with my brain. However… the same could be said about Tetsuo!

I chuckled, feeling the strands of wood fiber still lingering in my throat.

Tetsuo looked as though he was going to slap Yasu, but apparently changed his mind, turning back to me.

I reached out with a sore hand, clutching at the loose bark off an evergreen tree. With some effort, I prized the rough, brown substance off and proceeded with shoving it in my mouth.

"You're crazier then me, eh?" he grinned indulgently. "Been talking to yourself the whole way… and eating all the random crap you find on the side…" He snorted softly. "Keep it up and people will think you're related to the Kusagakure monster…"

Though I had no idea what he was talking about, I chose not to give him the satisfaction of another elucidating chat.

Nobu shifted uncomfortably. A small smile crept dubiously across his face.

I didn't bother with looking perplexed… though I was. I jammed some more bark down.

"Come on, Deidara… up you get. We're going to find a place to set up base now."

I coughed, pretending I hadn't heard him. I felt the mouth in my chest shift. Then a zing of pain threaded its way through my nerves; brief but unimaginably intense.

I doubled over unwillingly. Weakness; I was showing weakness. Someone was going to start kicking me now. They did it almost every time I had an attack.

I hacked blood, shaking with the spasms of agony racking my body. I was panting and gasping for air that never seemed to reach my lungs.

Nobu grabbed the collar of my kimono and hauled me back to my feet. He was unexpectedly strong… Or I was really diminished…

"_**Just a bit farther**__." _An unpleasant voice spoke in my head. I froze, all desire to collapse again gone.

"Get a MOVE ON!" Tetsuo yelled, punting me in the backside with his sandal.

…:-:…

I was shooting suspicious glances all around the camp as the missing-nin began to set up a rough sort of base. My eyes moved warily from face to face.

"Why are we setting up base in here? Shouldn't we be going with the rest of them into Amegakure…?

"And…whose voice had that been…?" I wondered. "Is somebody trying to get into my mind?" Then I smirked… thinking how it could have just been the "BANG"; I might've been going crazy, after all.

"Deidara, get your lazy… over here!" Tetsuo barked an order. I got off the damp rock I'd been sitting on, feeling the cool slime coating its smooth surface slide past my fingertips. I cocked my head lazily, relaxing my neck and letting my head loll to the side.

"Give me that! I was looking for ages!" He spun my limp body about, yanking a scroll off that had been tied to my back. I did nothing.

Tetsuo ripped the cord binding it shut, then putting his hands together, he signed "tora" and the scroll billowed open. The writing and symbols now revealed were glowing a frosty green colour. They shone momentarily bright, then there was "poof" of smoke, and the set of chairs and table we had sat at just a few afternoons ago materialized among the wisps of steam.

Tetsuo seated himself, brushing his torn pants off. The table was still bent.

"Go make yourself useful," he muttered noncommittally.

Nobu came up to Tetsuo's chair as soon as I departed. As best as I could, I flounced away. A detached, yet dejected expression shifted about my features.

Nope. I wasn't even going to bother looking busy. I was going to go back to my rock and devise more formulas and compositions.

There it was. My slippery little seat… the most uncomfortable place in our developing base, thus the best spot to think.

"Hold up… Dei…dara."

Recognizing the voice, I turned slowly, composing my expression into one of the utmost superiority.

Nobu was only about five feet from me. Today he was wearing one of the _brown_ generic kimonos… and the same pants as me. He glared; one eye squinting and the other widening madly.

"I'm finished with my duties. Let's go for a walk, yes?" More then a suggestion?

I watched him impassively. Here was someone I could possibly torment… and there might even be an excuse, too. He was likely to do the exact same to me. Though, I didn't need a reason. I'd already decided that.

"Sure!" I smiled disarmingly. "What better have I got to do?" A lot, of course… but this might've been fun.

We slowly ambled away from all the hustle and bustle.

The trees grew thick and fast the farther we strayed from the commotion. The air took on an eerie stillness, broken only by the perpetual sprinkling. Nobu was walking to my right, so I glanced casually at the boughs drooping to my left, searching for some tasty morsels.

Nobu seemed so serene and at ease among the trees. He actually looked… pleasant. His green hair shone glossily among the dewdrops, contrasting sharply with his dark kimono.

"So why do you blow stuff up?" he asked calmly. Whoa! Total 180… he wasn't sniping at me, or sneering.

I stared, unsure of how to react. The "BANG" persisted.

"I don't blow up any old thing. I create art, and make it _true_ art through its explosion. Art is transient, after all."

Nobu shook his head; though not in disagreement.

"Why did you join this… pointless cause, then?" I was taken aback.

"What? You think it's pointless, too?" I said quickly.

"Yes, but I'd like you to answer my question first."

"Uh…" I scratched the back of my matted head.

"It wasn't to save yourself, was it? You knew he'd just cut you up if you refused with enough false passion."

I pinched my eyes shut, puzzled. Truthfully, I hadn't known that Tetsuo would react to Hisoka in that way… And IF I had known and had wanted to only save myself, then I wouldn't have gone as far as to let anyone maim my face to escape!

"No," I said, deciding on my answer. "I was struck on a whim." I was referring to the brief moment that I had wanted to do anything to flee Iwagakure and defy all that Hisoka stood for. "Now I…" I stopped short of the sentence's completion. It had just occurred to me that Nobu might have took me aside to have a little chat about my loyalties… on Tetsuo's orders. Hadn't they just had a quick moment together before we took off?

I closed my mouth, halting my end of the communication. I could already have dug myself in _way_ over my head.

"_**Lighten up. Not everyone's afraid of him.**__" _

I jumped! The voice… that dark, cold voice. That dull and… familiar voice.

"Nobu?" I gasped.

He smiled thinly. I saw small, sharp teeth. Why hadn't I noticed them before?

"You could kill Tetsuo if you really wanted to. I am not holding anything from you. Talk; I'm not with him. He only told me to take you away so we could get better acquainted." Nobu nodded. "Which means he wanted us to fight."

"I…" I was dumbstruck… and that didn't happen often. People like me continue to speak long after they don't even know what they're talking about anymore. Bravado and your own stubbornness can charade as insight.

"Let me explain; you'd like that, right?" Nobu suddenly sounded child-like. His tone had taken on a light hint that hid something bitter.

"You're his new "prize", got that? Every once in a blue moon, Tetsuo picks up an… interesting shinobi. One with a kekkei genkei, or mutation, special abilities, abnormalities… the usual unusual." Nobu rubbed his palms together, attempting to warm them. "Let me put it this way… I _was almost _his right-hand man, but now he's grown bored of my abilities. He wants something new to entertain him; a fresh oddity."

"_**He's an idiot**__."_

"But how long have you been with Tetsuo?" I asked.

"About… three months…" I gaped. Such a short time! "…But that's beside the point. We're talking about a psychopath. His attention span isn't easy to hold…

"The thing is… he wants to learn more about you."

I frowned. "What's so good about me… not these…?" I held up my hands, pretending to play it naive. I wasn't sure if I could trust this kid who had been manhandling me just hours ago… This personality change had blown me away.

Nobu narrowed his eyes.

"Watch yourself, Deidara. He might get a little too curious. Just a word of caution, alright?" The corner of my mouth was slightly upturned.

"You disliking him is all fine and dandy, but why were you giving me such a hard time earlier… and now, so sagely, offering me advice, hmm?"

"You should know that… or are you really as stupid as I first thought?" His voice had recovered its hard edge, tingeing it with a sharp bite. "I obviously can't be your ally around him. He's accustomed to the only behavior I've ever shown him. It would be out of character for me to change that suddenly."

I rolled my eyes. And he wasn't confusing me with the abrupt inconsistency … right.

And if that was so, why had he been so cold when he summoned me to Tetsuo's meal…? There were no cameras in that base. I had looked around closely upon being dumped in my room, and wandering about for various duties.

"I have to maintain my loyal façade, while making it look as though I'm jealous of your prepping for the eventual replacement of my status.

"Meanwhile… I am discreetly gathering a mutiny. Though, there's no need to be sneaky with you… it's so obvious that you don't want to be here."

"You think?" I said rudely. Nobu chose to overlook my cynical conviction.

"He's going to pretend to be indifferent to you, like he doesn't care. But you'll slowly see how you're moving closer to his inner circle. I mean, you're already hanging around us… He wasn't that forward with me.

"So while that goes on, he'll think that we believe he's too busy with examining you to notice that we're planting the seeds of destruction."

"Hold on…" I bared my teeth, snarling. "You just said you were trying to do this… all covert-like… And what? He knows you're trying to usurp him?"

"Yes… obviously!" he said impatiently, as though stating a totally ostensible situation. "You're a shinobi… Look for the hidden meanings within the hidden meanings? All that jazz? You know?"

"Yeah, yeah…" I waved an impertinent hand. "…I might have heard that a couple of times in class…"

"Anyway…" continued Nobu. "He's been setting up a little tactic here for weeding out the uprising rogues." He chortled at the word "weeding".

"What might that be, hmm?"

"I don't know, truthfully… And us being here together is part of one of his plans…" Nobu answered evenly. "Somehow… I'm actually _supposed _to convince you of something… seeing as he knows what my objectives are…"

"Bah! Then what's the point? This is like some stupid mind game… deadlock, I think, hmm."

"In a sense…" Nobu said sullenly. "But I think I'm already a few steps ahead… that is assuming he doesn't know that we have realized he understands what we are trying to accomplish."

I closed one cerulean eye, feeling slightly dazed.

Our walk had taken us through an archway comprised of dead branches.

"So, back to my original question… Why did you join? Nationalism is a deadly force that divides common people in different countries. Did you want to stop it from sinking its talons into our lands?" He shouldn't have added the last bit on. It conveyed a sort a desperation hidden within it. Unless he was trying to mislead me into thinking he supported antinationalism, or… he really did want to uphold the cause.

I couldn't even let my guard down around Nobu… he was the same as Tetsuo.

I decided to lie.

"Yeah, I hate nationalism." Now he'd ask me about the "whim" I had spoken of earlier… I needed to counter fast. "I had thought that I might join just to try it out…"

Nobu gave me a curious look.

"I wanted to get away from Iwagakure for a bit… I wanted freedom."

"An illusion," Nobu spoke quietly. I nodded.

"I switched my purpose around after that. I really do want to stop nationalism now… after I saw how you all can get along so well, the different shinobi, I mean." There; I had glossed over the "whim" I'd mentioned.

Nobu was silent. He smiled wryly.

"A nice story, Deidara. But you forgot to eliminate the reason you were picked up with that wound…" He pointed at the spot where my heart was hidden behind the mouth. "…And the loathing between you and that boy. What really happened?"

The cogs of my brain worked furiously, trying to come back at him with a rapid, yet thought-out response. It didn't really work.

"…Just a token of the battle…" I invented a new link. "…that _he_ gave me…"

"Why?" Nobu looked me over apathetically. I wondered if it was time to insert a slight amount of truth.

"I stole his girl." I didn't care if I was reversing the implications…

"You know… I was there, alright? I saw the whole thing; you don't have to lie." I knew this was a dangerous move on Nobu's part. If he really had seen the whole conflict, then he'd know I was lying. If he hadn't… and he was merely guessing that I was lying, then I'd know for a fact, based on his reaction, that he didn't really know what had happened and was just assuming that I wasn't telling him the whole truth. It worked out into a one in two chance for him. All I had to do was look convincing, and not let the exterior slip… but, this'd be silly if he really had seen everything. Or if he ended up outsmarting me. One of us was taking a gamble.

"No, I'm telling you the truth. I think you're testing me," I said, hoping the bravado wouldn't reveal itself to be such.

_"__**You are such a bad liar, Deidara. You may just be… as selfish as Tetsuo. You didn't join to defeat nationalism. Maybe you tried to tell yourself that was part of the reason, despite the fact that it really wasn't. But it was fun having you go on like that… stretching your feeble ingenuity. Your ideas interest me.**__"_

Your ideas interest me.

I swore explosively, kicking the ground. Nobu could get inside people's heads… how had I neglected that variable? Had I been focusing too hard on the details to see that he had blatantly revealed his… ability, the thing that had made him so special to Tetsuo? I was furious; absolutely livid.

"You see…" Nobu was speaking out loud now. "Even if we have different goals, we are trying to achieve them in the same way. We're on the same path till we take that fork. Until then, let's cooperate." He grinned his feral smile. "I don't really care what you do after this. So… I understand you. You can leave when we're finished our work here… purifying this honest intention of its ignoble carriers."

I was almost at a loss for words. Almost. I changed tact at the speed of light.

"Why are you in the Inmetsu Squad?" To Nobu, this might have sounded totally irrelevant, but it had been bothering me for awhile. I was jealous of anyone who pursued the art of explosion… _especially_ those who didn't realize its beauty. I wasn't jealous of them, necessarily… just the idea of them using explosives annoyed me; I was overly possessive about them…

_"__**Deidara. Nothing makes sense anyway. It'll make it easier to just go with the flow.**__"_

Nobu turned and walked away, heading for the direction of camp, signaling for me to follow.

"No can do, Nobu, hmm," I thought disdainfully. "I've gone with the flow for too long… And I vowed… **never** to go back to it."

"_**I know. But we're both pushing against the current.**__"_

As we strolled back I glanced at the trees; silent and grave. Only the rain gave voice to its fury. I had an epiphany.

"I don't like outspoken children." Those had been Tetsuo's words before he'd destroyed Hisoka's face. Maybe that was the only reason we were still alive.


	19. Trial and Never

**Trial and Never**

I woke up at dawn of the next day, a crick in my neck and a fury in my heart. This was going to be one of those angry days. One of those days that you just wanted to kill everyone. Everyone.

"Deidara! Come here you moody piece of crap!" I blinked. He must have still been upset from what I'd said last night.

When Nobu and I had returned from our walk, Tetsuo had begun probing us to see what had happened. I wasn't sure if it was a bluff. It annoyed the heck out of me, not knowing if he understood what had really transpired, or if he was ignorant… I was almost, positively certain, though, that he knew Nobu was trying to get me on his side. I was perplexed as to why Tetsuo hadn't killed him yet; truly lost. But being interrogated every time I stepped back into Tetsuo's presence was rubbing down on my thin nerves, so I'd ended up having a spaz attack… weird thing was that it wasn't even really aimed at him… it was just for anyone in general. A great deal of swearing and sniping had ensued, then in equal fury, it was returned by Tetsuo through kicks.

Now he was glaring mutinously at me, his face set into a resolute sneer. I rubbed my thigh where a dark shadow was beginning to surface, while slowly trotting up to him.

"You and I are going into Amegakure." I stuck out my bottom lip, raising an eyebrow.

"Are we?" I said, lewdly patting the back of my greasy head. "I was under the impression that you were going to command the proceedings from afar."

"And what did you think those proceedings would involve?" Tetsuo asked casually.

"Ah, you know…" I shrugged my stiff shoulders. "The usual send-the-pawns-out-to-die-for-me business… and gnawing away at an already weak society."

"You think I don't fight? You think me that cowardly?" If there had been a wall, Tetsuo would have shoved me into it. Instead, he drove me hard into the serrated cylinder of a tree trunk. He had neglected to pin my hands.

"…Are you really that stupid?" I jeered. "Do you go in and die? There's nothing wrong with sending pawns in. I do it all the time." My hand had been rummaging around within my clay pouch. Tetsuo's eyes flashed dangerously.

"Who do you think I am? Do you think I'm some royal, little prince, too concerned with my safety and control then with upholding my own cause? …And too single-minded to notice when you're trying to pull a fast on me?"

A snap of electricity ran through my arms, surging into my body from Tetsuo's hands, still clenched around my shoulders. I felt the bolt of energy hit my elbows and joints like paralyzing fire. My fingers curled unwillingly into claws. It was as though the tendons within them had been constricted… And I had just gotten over my dexterity loss from the last abuse.

"How many times are you going to do that…hmm?" I laughed quietly through the pain.

"As many times as it's necessary for you to realize your place."

"…And you're not a dictator… feh…" I rolled my eyes sarcastically.

"Deidara… I'm sure you've been told many times before, but you think you're _so _clever, don't you? That'll be your downfall, you know? Stop assuming that you can see everything around you with such insight and wisdom… Those two are nonexistent in you." He let go of me, kneading his eyebrows. I held my ground. Tetsuo's eyes almost seemed to shine yellow for a moment.

"I'm just as proud as you. You know that. Just show some restraint." I took a sharp intake of breath, stopping it halfway to my lungs. Who was he to tell me to be humble… or to stop parading around… whatever he meant? I didn't want to hear it from the "Artist of Sporadic". Especially since he had put it like that… in a chastising sort of tone that reeked of superiority.

Nobu's wan face came into view from behind Tetsuo. He looked indifferent. I moved my gaze from person to person. Nobu _knew _what I was thinking, Tetsuo had a _good guess_ at what was running through my mind… and both were telling me they knew what I was all about. I was sick of it. I was going to crack very soon.

"Geez, we've wasted enough time on this. Deidara, get your stuff together," Nobu gesticulated jerkily in the direction of the base's center. Nobu stepped up to Tetsuo's shoulder, looking serious.

"May I have a word…?" he asked smoothly.

Tetsuo grunted an acknowledgement. I began my walk to the main shelter, muttering things I wasn't even listening to. I didn't have the gusto left to know what I was thinking or saying.

I had left the small scroll containing my possessions somewhere against a tent… that I knew. But when I was almost at the approximate spot, Kaede stepped out from behind one of the towering shelves from the old warehouse that had been sealed.

"Deidara-kun, where're you going so early in the morning?" She smiled wolfishly. "You woke me up." I cursed at her as I attempted to pass her by. She stepped in front of my path, narrowing her eyes slyly.

"You're so uptight, Deidara-kun."

"Stop calling me that…" I said coldly.

"What?"

"You know bloody well!" I exploded. She was using the suffix 'kun' to address me… It was certainly more formal then just 'Deidara', but the only female who had called me 'Deidara-kun'… had been Suzume-chan. Nobody would call me such ever again.

"Come on…" she grinned knowingly. "…Deidara-kun…"

"Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!" I howled. "…Who told you?" I added in a mortified tone, thinking this to be more than mere coincidence.

"What? Nobu didn't say you'd do that if I called you, Deidara-kun…"

Nobu?

I was livid… He had been poking around in my mind? And worse… telling _her_ what he found in it?

"_Get outta my head!_" I screeched internally.

"_**What?**_"

I sent a wave of chakra to my brain, definitely not thinking before I initiated the act. The sudden rush of energy made my vision blur over into burning white, and for a moment I thought I was going to black out.

Nobu swore inside my head, then I felt a slight pull on my brain, and his presence withdrew.

"That was… stupid," Kaede wrinkled her nose sardonically. "You just tried to take him out?"

"Well, it worked, hmm!" I snapped. "Now get out of my way!"

"That's what you think," Kaede winked. "You've already got quiet the reputation for being stubborn, but fine, don't believe me." She moved aside.

"Yeah, that's what I **know**…" I walked around her, trying to put as much distance as possible between myself and the kuniochi… Her maliciously dancing eyes followed my every action, seeming to look for something. I wasn't in a good humor that day. It wasn't the time for tolerance.

"What're you looking at, hmm?" I demanded, sidestepping past her, trying to be confrontational while simultaneously getting away from her. It was a stupid idea, because now she began to follow me.

"Oh… it's just that…" she blushed, creating some mockery of coyness. "…You're kinda hot, Deidara-kun… in a whimpy way…"

I wheeled about, my mouth twisting into a snarl. My hands -both of them- crept over to where my clay pouches should have been. Only one met success, but it was hard to forget the instinctual reaction. I think it was the second time in just hours that I'd been rendered speechless again.

My fingertips brushed against the sticky surface of the clay… but a horrible pain shrieked through me via the point of contact. I'd already forgotten about my run-in with Tetsuo. One-track mind… I guess…

I heard brisk footsteps and Tetsuo appeared beside me.

"Idiot!" He smacked me hard across the back. "Get your provisions, now!"

I leered over at him, hiding behind a demented mask. I was about to go ahead and ask him _how_ I was going to be able to pick my stuff up without hands that functioned properly, but thought better of it just as my mouth opened. I grunted,

"Hmm…"

Giving some whiny answer was probably what he wanted. But he also could have been looking for some pseudo show of tough acting. How could you win in a situation like that? You just did whatever the heck you wanted to, regardless…

I sauntered away, only going a couple tents down till I found where my scroll had been left.

Too bad… no one had tried to get into it… If they had, the chakra-detonation nendo bombs would have blown them all the way to Kusagakure. They were something new I had devised on the road, and worked quite simply.

Everyone emitted a slight, if almost undetectable amount of chakra around their skin. Chakra was life, after all… and all I had to do to make my clay respond to this faint life-force, was to infuse it with so much of my own chakra, that when even the tiniest bit more was added, it would exceed the clay's molecular capacity, thus causing it to overload and detonate. And chakra type was totally irrelevant on such a small scale. Unfortunately, this wasn't foolproof because it required the utmost caution when creating, and precise calculations to make sure I didn't blow it up right in my face as I made it. It was also way too volatile and sometimes, during my experiments, I ended up putting in way too much chakra, which diffused the bombs. Basically, a little too much would make it explode, and way too much would render it useless.

Now that the bombs planted in my belongs were still active and untouchable… I proceeded with my only reasonable option. Trying to coax the bugs out.

I reconnected with my creations, wincing at how tense the bridge of chakra between my body and the separate entities of the bombs had become. It felt like… my chakra had been starched. I cursed Tetsuo through gritted teeth, as I tentatively sent out the commands to the bombs. Leg by leg, they crept through the layers of the summoning scroll. I was beginning to regret having gone through such tedious measures to protect my stuff.

"Hurry up!" Kaede's annoying voice rang out behind me. "What're you doing? Just pick it up…" A hand reached out past my shoulder.

The "BANG" reveled inside me. It was laughing heartily, sadistically at what was unfolding right before my cerulean orbs. Perfect.

I was confident that I'd be able to get away on time, and was about to launch myself back… when I remembered one of the possessions I wasn't willing to give up in exchange for taking Kaede's life.

The letter! I'd left that stupid scrap of my past in the scroll! …And looking back, I wasn't sure why I had forgotten it with the rest of my throwaway junk… Nothing else mattered… it was all there as a lure for my test subjects… but not Hisoka's missive!

"Get away!" I screamed at Kaede, grabbing her around the waist and throwing her with myself. She didn't resist. We flew through the air, powered by a burst of chakra to my feet. I lost focus on the bombs creeping out of the scroll… and in that moment…

BANG!

We spun midair, the blast's force driving us hard into a nearby tree trunk. Unfortunately, I was in a position that had me catching her heavy body and taking the tree for her. She slammed into me, her hard shoulder blades digging into my chest. I swore as I heard a crack from behind me. My spine had made a crunching sound on impact with the aspen tree.

Kaede slid down my front and slumped into a pile. I could only see the back of her head, but I knew that her eyes were wide… And when she turned to face me, they seemed robbed of their manic luster. She looked genuinely shocked. I inhaled sharply, gazing past her at the blackened spot of earth where my possessions had been sealed.

It was gone. Erased by my own idiocy.

Gone.

The only piece of solid evidence proving that it hadn't all been an incubus. That she had existed. Suzume-chan…

"…_You_…" I whispered, still staring straight ahead. "You're trying to suffocate me, aren't you?" I switched me focus, looking into her spiteful eyes.

I got up, propping myself against the tree, and prodding Kaede away from me with one of my feet. My back wasn't broken, but it felt like I'd pinched a nerve. I squeezed my eyes shut. The light shone faintly through my eyelids.

Someone to blame… I needed an escape!

"You're not going to live for even one year longer. You won't," I stated simply. "Because I'm going to kill you before this point ever comes full circle." I drew my leg back and thrust it forward, kicking her brutally hard. Kaede did nothing to soften her fall. She was flung forward, suspended momentarily on the heel of my sandal, before the energy transferred and she was thrown away. She sprawled across the ground, landing near the site where the bombs had been detonated.

I shook my head. The "BANG" wanted to murder her right then and there… but common sense told me that Tetsuo would soon be making his reentry. There would be plenty more opportunities to kill her later.

But now it was decided; I was rejecting any culpability.

Kaede lay there for a moment or two, then she slowly picked herself up, brushing off the mud that stuck resiliently to her dark coveralls. Her face was shadowed by a few locks of her wispy, brown hair… but when she brought her gaze up, I could see the smile twisted like barbed wire across her face. Her eyes were shiny and wide… but they glinted in a cold way, like someone who had just gone into shock.

"You will, huh? I don't think you should make up your mind before you know who you're dealing with. It's so cute how you hate me." She was clearly trying to say, "That's what makes you so appealing to me!" but she didn't get the chance to keep going.

Tetsuo came ambling up to the scene. He gave a quick, appraising glance over the evidence, then, swift like lightening, he gracefully moved beside me.

"Last chance, Deidara… you're on your last chance…" he said quietly, leaning into my ear. He seemed to be so angry that he couldn't even hit me.

Right… He wasn't going to get rid of me.

Yet.

And if he did stay true to his word, I'd have an opportunity to kill him and Kaede. Heh… under threat I'd have another worthless reason for action…

I came up with a bland answer.

"Tetsuo, these were my possessions, and I did what I wanted to with them. It's not Kaede's business to tamper with my things."

Tetsuo chose not to take heed of this response. He turned to Kaede, who stood her ground shakily.

"Oh, my… He's burned you a little…" She smiled in a conniving way.

"I'll proudly carry any scars," she said enthusiastically.

On closer inspection of her hateful face, I could see the raw patches of shining skin and the burn holes running along the arms and legs of her outfit. I wanted to reach around behind me to feel the tips of my hair and see if it had been singed… but that area of motion was still out of bounds.

"You're such a trooper… Go see Yasu quick…" Tetsuo brushed the back of his hand across Kaede's burned face. She smiled valiantly. He gave her a brotherly pat, then spun around to glare at me.

"You will be escorting me and Nobu through with the infiltration." He sighed dramatically. "I _was _going to bring Kaede along, but now that she's burned that'll raise suspicions on our tranquility…" I wanted to break out in laughter, but chose not to in case Tetsuo decided to change his mind.

Tetsuo prowled around beside me, inspecting my back.

"Yeah, you're not so bad; you'll do." I grimaced at his words.

"Now enough time's been wasted here; let's go… and you too, Nobu."

Nobu lifted his lower lip and looked off to his right, seemingly surprised, but obliging.

Tetsuo gave Kaede one last strange look.

"You know what to do. Wait for the signal."

She nodded, flinching slightly.

I sighed roughly. I just wanted to get whatever was coming over with.

Nobu was already walking ahead, so I put on a quick burst of speed to catch up with him. Tetsuo said another farewell to Kaede before he started to follow.

We plunged into the undergrowth. I soon found myself fighting branches and bushes that snagged at my kimono and capris. I was constantly trying to whack them away with irascible jerks of my torso. It was irritating to see Nobu just feet ahead of me and striding with absurd ease through the brush. If my eyes weren't betraying me, I could have sworn the plant life was parting itself for him.

"Hey, Nobu?"

He inclined his head slightly, not stopping.

"Where you from?" I asked, giving my voice an arrogant hint.

"…" There was a moment of hesitation, then: "Kusagakure."

"I thought so."

Nobu laughed lightly, but it was only inside my head. I winced in anger, and almost did a relapse of my previous folly.

"Is it that obvious?" he said casually. When I didn't respond, he answered himself. "..Yeah, I guess so." His pace quickened. "Where I come from, it's like a jungle. This is nothing; it would be considered infertile, or a wasteland compared to my old village's forests.

An idea.

"Don't Kusa-nin practice earth arts, but with plants, right? Combining water chakra… or something…?" I asked, avoiding a spiky branch that had moved aside politely for Nobu but was now attempting to club me upside the head.

"That's correct, most of them do," said Nobu, brushing between a pair of evergreen trees.

"…Why explosives, then?" I asked painfully. It took a lot to muster up that kind of question in Tetsuo's presence.

"…What's it matter to you anyway?" he said coldly. I think we both had forgotten to act unfamiliar while around Tetsuo… Unless this façade was another mind game Nobu was setting up…

I picked up, feeding off of the true, and not entirely acted out, hostility and distrust.

"I don't want idiots playing with the potential for art! It's not something you just throw around and sample a bit!"

Nobu wrinkled his nose, baring his sharp teeth slightly.

"You're crazy. I was dabbling in it, and had every right to. Besides, I don't believe in art."

"What?" Was this a genuine answer… as mine had been? I frowned, dodging a bush that had been trying to trip me up.

"What do you mean, "I don't believe in art"? You just not believing in it doesn't mean it's not there!" I said dissonantly. "Live everything else in denial like me, but don't refute art!" My voice rose dramatically. "It's everywhere… but it isn't… Art is the very fiber that weaves this planet together! These many works, whether by nature or manmade, they are the surreal, yet omnipresent, almost forgotten figures of our essentials! And _only_ true art is fleeting! In our insignificant lifespan we cannot comprehend how even that which may hang for millennia, is merely there for no time at all in the big scheme of things! There is no imagination without art and no art without imagination!"

"Shut up, already…" Tetsuo grumbled, cleaving a path through the trees to walk beside Nobu. "I hate philosophical crap like this… It's a waste of time." He countered the look I shot his way. "It's irrelevant whether it exists or not, because I'm getting along just fine without thinking about it, thanks."

"Agreed…" Nobu stared off into the mossy distance. He was smiling faintly. I could tell that he didn't entirely mean what he was saying.

I narrowed my eyes. It was time to eat again, I thought to myself, remembering it'd been awhile since I had last gone for some bark… However… I soon found myself painfully reminded of my temporary handicap. I couldn't grab any of the trees' bounty; my arms were still incapacitated.

Tetsuo's head turned towards me at the same moment I began to contemplate asking someone else to get me some bark, or something.

"Deidara, you were fed! What are you doing again? No one person can still be hungry!"

"Hmm?" I gave him a mutinous look.

"I saw your face… Why are you doing this?" Tetsuo said disbelievingly.

I cackled furtively. He thought I was trying to pull some tactful rebellion stunt!

"Nothing special, really." I said, deciding to humor him just this once. "My chakra's low… and I can't keep it up with the rations you're supplying. It's not terribly good for my chakra type, either. I obviously have earth-type chakra, but I definitely can't eat rocks… so I'm taking in another source of earth-type bonding element…"

"Your chakra's low? Still?" Tetsuo said sharply.

"Yeah… but that doesn't have anything to do with you." The mouth in my chest ground its teeth almost on cue.

I had been getting the disconcerting feeling that it was stealing chakra… but what it was doing with it, I didn't know. Feeling weak and lethargic, I was constantly on the hunt for new earthen edibles…

"That's stupid!" Tetsuo interjected. "It sounds like some sort of herbal remedy that your dear grammy would tell you to take!"

There was silence. All seemed appalled by the lunacy of this boldly regurgitated opinion.

"Tetsuo, Tetsuo!"

Everyone twisted about. I got whipped by a branch that Tetsuo let go of and Nobu somehow managed to avoid.

"Mmf!" I reacted to the stimulus before I could override it. My arms tried to block the blow, but all I was greeted by was a jarring twinge and a mouthful of needles. And it wasn't a mouthful of needles in my hand.

A runner appeared overhead, leaping from tree to tree. He alighted no less then two feet from Tetsuo, crouching low to absorb his impact.

Tetsuo tilted his head, appearing disgusted.

"What?" he said harshly.

The runner looked hesitant, then, seeming to realize he was in a precarious position, he blurted out a stream of panicky words.

"We tried to contact Cell Five of Kirigakure, but got no response! On the second attempt, the tracker gave out a signal halfway through the transmission before it disappeared. It hit a foreign medium, meaning…"

"It was tapped into… we've been intercepted!" Tetsuo broke in. He cursed violently. "I knew it was a bad idea to sit here for too long!"

Wasn't he the one making decisions?

"…And you didn't do anything about it?" I said smartly, speaking up before I had mulled over the disparaging comment. Luckily, Tetsuo seemed too absorbed with this new predicament to have any attention to spare for disciplining me…

"That's it… We'll try for the original stealth-operative… Then, if it fails… and it almost… most definitely will… then we will go in for the full-scale invasion."

"But won't you… need backup? Should I call for reinforcements from within? They couldn't have possibly taken out all the networks…" the runner shinobi was stuttering slightly. I could hear his heart pounding a frenzied rhythm. Everyone's heartbeat was audible, loud and clear. Yet all the rest seemed slow and steady… unfazed.

"Yeah, you do that… But give me five minutes. I think you'll know when to send the alarm out. After you've initiated that gear, I want you to send Yasu, Kaede, Shin-What's-His-Name, and the rest of my squad in." He pulled at one of his eyebrows with a thin finger.

"Actually… What am I saying? You convey all this to your superior… Who?"

"Eri."

"Yeah, do that… And get the Inmetsu in after ten minutes from the point you get Eri to activate the alarm… Bring them in from the East Gate…

"That is all, now go!" he shouted distractedly. I could almost see the strategies and plans whirring around his head.

The runner burst away in a flurry of legs and arms.

"Hey… Wait. What were we supposed to be doing in the first place? And I can't fight like this."

"Never mind that…" Tetsuo said angrily.

So much for 'informing' me.

"My arms, hmm!" I said piercingly.

"Right!" Tetsuo answered just as unkindly. He was suddenly right up next to my ear. I either wanted to cringe away in repulsion, or kill him.

As if from a great distance, I sensed his cruel grip pinching both of my wrists. I could hardly feel the pain above the constant throbbing.

"I didn't do that to you for my sake," he said, an ultimatum smothered under his contempt. "You're going to earn your keep now." I eyed him sourly. "Show me what you were bottling up."

Feeling began to slither up my limbs. Like a worm boring a tunnel through my flesh, my nerves regained their sensitivity. I gritted my teeth hard, pushing my tongue against the backs of my lower canines.

And all along, I knew he was setting me up to get mad at him for some reason… he intended to raise my ire to the max before he took my abilities on a trial run… Now he was telling me _again_ that he was so strong, it didn't matter if I was left to run amok, unsupervised in the chaos of battle. This guy had a lot of nerve… or not enough. At the time, I couldn't think up any reasons why someone wouldn't be terrified of my art… unless they were too stupid to comprehend its power. Well, there were a lot of reasons, looking back… My art hadn't progressed enough back then to affect everyone else in the same way it affected me.

I wasn't going to give him what he wanted… As much as it would pain me, I wouldn't go all-out. And how _long_ it had been since I'd stretched my legs as a shinobi… It had been a prolonged amount of time since I'd actually fought seriously… What had ensued within the last few months… no, years, had only been minor trifles and not overly intense… Even in my last battle alongside Iwagakure, I hadn't been pushing myself in my frenzied state. I had been on an autopilot induced by the "BANG".

"However… like it or not, I might get forced into combat…" I thought rigidly, stretching my still twitching fingers. Whoever was showing up to defend Amegakure, judging by their paranoia, was going to be in no position to dispense mercy.

Tetsuo released my arms, turning around and beginning a sprint for the trail. In almost perfect sync, Nobu ran alongside him. Lurching, I threw myself after them. I swayed slightly, off balance.

Ambient mist swirled around our feet and over some of the larger puddles. The trees leaned in and enclosed the air in a prickly dome of stillness that allowed only the rain to punctuate its defenses.

My toes went numb as I sloshed through a knee-deep puddle. Nobu turned mid-stride to glare at me.

"Don't run through the water. Did you see Tetsuo or me do that?" he asked.

"No kidding," said Tetsuo, slowing down and walking backwards to keep me in his view. "If there's any hope of erasing doubts, it's lost now… How's it going to look with you dripping and all soaking wet like you were being chased by one of your bloody artwork-things?"

"Too late," I said poisonously, splashing as much water onto myself as I could. I passed through the rest of the miniature lake, stepping onto the opposite side of the bank where the mud and gravel path began again.

I could tell Tetsuo would have dearly loved to smack me again, but he looked down briefly, seeming to take in my bruised and scratched up legs, now coated in muck, and chose not to. He just flipped around and abruptly picked up his pace.

It had been another bad idea to get wet. The water was so cold, that it felt like it was solidifying into ice that began coating my clothing and skin. I was shaking slightly, and yet again… I had invented a new way to waste chakra and energy.

My fingers reached out, scrabbling at the passing bark and tearing off tiny chunks. I consumed them hastily, my heart racing for nourishment.

Suddenly there was light. The trees began to thin out and a towering wall came into view in-between the shining leaves. I saw damp and half-rotten planks encompassing what looked like a massive city comprised of skyscrapers and tall cylindrical buildings. Only the peaks of these massive structures could be seen from behind the colossal defense. High above the ground, almost among the clouds, I saw guards vigilantly patrolling the top of the wall, almost hidden by the barbed wire fences and metal pikes. Looking to the path ahead, I noticed more of said pikes sprouting out of the earth near the base of the defense.

"_**See that road over there?**_"Nobu's dark voice rang out inside my head. I nodded.

"_**Tetsuo says that's the main passage into Amegakure from the rebels' side. The other one belongs to Hanzo. There are no definite boundaries or claims. This is only going as far as estimating the rough number of rebels and those loyal to Hanzo on each side.**_"

"Remind me why we are here again?" I asked loudly.

Tetsuo drew his finger across his neck like a razor blade.

"_**Keep it in your mind- don't speak. We could be detected before phase one.**_" I crossed my arms. "_**The initial attempt was to infiltrate Amegakure to find new recruits… and to…**_" Nobu kept his face calm, as usual. "_**…To test your capabilities. Now, it seems that only the second purpose still remains. It would do well to fulfill it, as things could get sticky if you're captured here.**_"

I cast spiteful glances between Nobu and Tetsuo.

"_**If you can prove it wasn't a mistake to take you in, then even if you're captured, Tetsuo will go in and try to get you back. He thinks he's strong enough.**_"

"_What? He isn't?_" I asked sarcastically.

"_**We'll see.**_" Nobu said smugly. "_**He already knows we aren't getting in without a fight. He obviously believes in his own abilities and manpower… enough so that he will fight for awhile, then safely execute a retreat. Maybe he thinks the country is more broken up then it really is? After all, even enemies work together to defeat a common foe."**_

"_Yeah._"

"_**Keep your eyes open, Deidara. You're going to need to watch the alliances. My faction will make a move when the time's right, and in that moment of seemingly inevitably defeat, we will take another of the steps towards uprooting Tetsuo.**_ _**It will be another victory for the true antinationalist theory!**_"

"_Yeah, alright…_" I said, faintly. "_What I'm following, is that I'll basically just have to stay alive and prove I can fight, hmm? And you'll take care of the rest?"_

"…" Nobu remained silent.

Tetsuo shifted beside me.

"We're backtracking a bit… I want to come up on the road a ways in… This was just the foreground for my introduction," Tetsuo said, ignorantly breaching through our uneasy solitude.

"WELL…"We stood stalk still as someone's voice broke the tranquility. "THERE'S NO NEED FOR MAKING AN INTRODUCTION ANYMORE."

My chest throbbed suddenly.

"_No, no, no…_" I thought, trying to staunch the blood threatening to flow up my throat. Blood was already coming from the mouth in my chest, beginning to soak through my kimono. It shifted restlessly, prodding the fabric of my clothing with its long, pointed tongue, licking the scarlet cloth clean again.

Tetsuo whipped around, weaving seals faster then my eyes could keep up with. A bolt of energy shot from his folded hands. He held the sign for "dragon", while electricity flew forth from his fingertips, sparking off in all directions.

A blur of motion came from my right and I saw a person in a dark poncho materialize among the thorns of a leafless bush. They had their fingers locked in "tori", the seal for "bird".

A grin spread across the eyes seen from above a rusty breathing apparatus. Tetsuo seemed entertained by this; he cracked his knuckles expectantly.

"Knew you'd do that," he said slyly. "Because this is one of the simplest tricks in the book." He wove more seals and his hands seemed to glow.

"Lightning Style: Shingai Nami!" he yelled. Then he thrust both of his hands straight out from either side of him. A column of electricity funneled out of his palms, concentrated at the start, then dispersing into a deadly wave that enveloped either side of him.

I threw myself out of their path just before the shock waves could consume me.

Nobu leapt up suddenly, jumping over Tetsuo's head and countering a foot that had come from above. He blocked with his fists, bringing his own feet up and driving his heels into the stomach of Tetsuo's attacker. The man flew away, and Nobu executed several well-timed flips that brought him down to the mud in front of Tetsuo.

At the same moment there was a brief but intense shower of water, as an assault that had been mistimed went awry. Two shinobi had been lurking in the dense undergrowth around Tetsuo, but had fallen victim to his electrical storm just as they had made a last ditch effort to initiate jutsu.

"Starting the party without me again?" came a recognizable taunt. Kaede fell gracefully from a tree she had been lurking in, keeping herself clear of Tetsuo's jutsu. She held a fistful of sand in her left hand, a curved, familiar kunai in her right… Her descent was followed by Yasu, the kunoichi I took to be a medic-nin. Yasu walked straight into the lightning jumping from Tetsuo's hands, and unharmed, she came to stand beside him.

Kaede laughed gleefully.

"Life for death! I love my job!"

_A katana drawn slowly, lovingly…_

_A sprinkle of sand tossed carelessly into the tempest._

_A burst of red._

_

* * *

_**AN:** Some weirdness here… yeah. Please ignore the inconsistencies…

Shingai Nami: Shock Wave

Yay! Deidara has officially made his debut in English! Can you believe they replaced 'Katsu' with 'Yeeaagh'? It's stupid… They could have just put the kanji there, then translated it once, and left the rest as they were originally… RIDICULOUS, I say!

Deidara says 'hmmm'…. Hahaha… One too many 'M's, I think… But still satisfyingly close to the version of the grunt I chose! (Of course I think that…) XP


	20. Holding On

**Holding On**

In quick succession, several things happened at once: Tetsuo drew a thick katana from the folds of his kimono, Kaede pitched her handful of sand into the air, Yasu lunged into a nearby bush, and Shin appeared in a swift puff of emerald smoke.

Watching from a tree I had sprang into, I saw the area of sparsely wooded turf begin to sway as though shrouded in a heat wave. The wavering air was punctuated by miniscule grains of sand swirling into the beginnings of a whirlpool. Grit flew through the air, lightly caressing Kaede's skin. Some of the grains embedded themselves in the sticky salve now pasted on Kaede's exposed wounds.

A shower of needles suddenly sprayed up from the ground.

Kaede threw her kunai up into the air, executing almost imperceptibly fast hand seals at the same time. She slammed her palms together at the finale, raising her joined hands above her head. She brought them down like a whip, and immediately the grains of sand that had been swirling serenely around her picked up velocity, becoming a spiraling vortex. Kaede raised her hands again, and the wind tunnel moved up her body, lifting over her head and coming to rest in front of her. The needles were all deflected and spun off in random directions, impaling the unwary. She caught her kunai just on time as it came back.

The thin spikes of metal that came flying towards Tetsuo melted on impact with his electric field. Nothing could get close to him… and now he was gently fingering a katana.

He struck a pose, the flat of his blade pressed between his hands in the middle of a sign I didn't recognize. His katana began to shimmer and glow.

An Amegakure shinobi started frantically forming seals. A geyser with a diameter no less then six meters burst forth from the sodden earth, plowing forth straight for Tetsuo.

"Watch my back!" he barked to no one in particular.

Nobu skirted around behind Tetsuo, slashing at an additional masked Amegakure shinobi. He rent a deep gash across the other's chest, then joined Tetsuo. Right at that moment, another column of water came crashing from the ground, just inches from Nobu's toes. Nobu signed a series of rapid seals, then thrust his hands against the funneling liquid. Water sprayed up into his face, resisting the diversion of his touch.

All at once, the geyser ceased to flow. Nobu smiled greedily, as his body suddenly took on a flaky texture. His skin began to peel, then he burst into a flurry of seeds and pollen.

I sneezed derisively, but nothing was heard over the tumult.

The blinding spores shrouded the battlefield, filling my sight with yellow and brown hues. Though, they were soon driven down by the relentless rain's conquest over the village.

They had given Tetsuo just enough time to finish charging his jutsu. He hurtled onwards, going head on for his opponent manipulating the geysers. He wielded an ion charged katana that sparked and gave off flashes of light as he swung it to his side, holding it back to increase his speed. Streamlined, Tetsuo streaked towards the Amegakure nin, and, beginning to panic, his enemy struggled to bring up a whole new maelstrom of geysers.

Lightening danced around Tetsuo and doppelgangers leapt from his sword in currents of solid energy. In unison, they all raised their katana, slicing through the geysers like they were nothing. The water dispersed and collapsed upon itself, washing some people off of their feet. Electricity jumped over the waves, sparking wildly.

The Amegakure nin blocked Tetsuo's swing with a sai just as he bore down upon him. Tetsuo pressed hard against the feeble weapon. It was all his opponent could do to hold him off. I saw the whites of his eyes flicker in terror. Sparks bounded off Tetsuo's katana.

An opening!

Tetsuo's left fist filled the spot the Ame nin hadn't been guarding: over the guts. His enemy jerked violently, and flew from Tetsuo's force. Shock waves twined around both bodies as Tetsuo lunged after his opponent. He pursued the other's descent, ripping at the corpse with precision aimed blows. The Amegakure shinobi disappeared into the undergrowth followed by Tetsuo, who managed to kill a few other enemy nin on his chase.

Turning my attention back to Kaede, I saw her engaged in a head to head battle with acupuncture needles laced in poison. The vortex of sand and wind she had summoned was now encasing her in a protective barrier that deflected almost all attack.

She raised her hand and crossed her index and middle finger. The sand spinning around the tunnel began to gather in clumps that formed themselves into kunai and senbon needles rivaling the ones being aimed at her. With a graceful movement of her arm, the weapons broke through the wind and flew off, attacking her assailants. They were easily deflected, but by the time the Amegakure nin had reacted, she was breathing down their necks with her wicked knife slashing their vulnerable flesh.

Yasu, on the other hand, was attacking Amegakure shinobi with… her nails. They were dropping like flies… All she did was slash them. She fought with some kind of unpredictable taijutsu of an unmeasured speed.

Nobu was furiously trying to stay alive with his mediocre ninja abilities. It appeared that he was trying to erect a force field.

"Having fun?" asked a voice, reeking of malice.

I launched myself from my hiding spot in the tree, simultaneously throwing a chunk of clay I had been working on into the place I had vacated. With a flip of my hands, I created a seal, and the sculpture expanded in a puff of steam that allowed me to escape under its cover.

A clay bunshin now took my place where I had sat among the branches. I flew off into the undergrowth, making a one-handed seal that caused the clone to expand.

"Katsu!"

BANG!

The doppelganger exploded in a brilliant burst of red and orange. The beauty was seemingly over before it had begun; the downpour quickly stifled its life, and the fire that had begun to rage within the tree was suffocating under the masses of water raining upon it.

Breathing rapidly, yet quietly, I searched my surroundings for my foe. Whoever it was… could have obviously killed me right there if they had wanted to… But now I was in the clear… as long as I kept my guard up.

Someone was watching me… and they weren't trying to kill me… yet. My only option was to find my opponent before they ambushed me. I hadn't come up with the most brilliant escape tactic when I conjured up that clay clone.

Desperately, I racked my brain for ways to detect an enemy. I found my mind repeatedly wandering off to strategies the local Ninja Academy had stressed. Though I'd _only_ been playing with lifeless lumps of clay then, I'd still been hardly listening to my instructors. I hadn't needed to put more effort into my studies… it all had come one way or another, and one of my sensei had said, almost cynically, that I had a gift. I had not needed to pay closer attention because of my strengths in analyzing, improvising, and adapting to any situation.

It was again; now, that I needed to reopen that forte. I only remembered a complex technique that my old genin cell leader had tried to explain. I had been the only one able to understand what he was teaching. Suzume and Kazuki had stared blankly, nodding and adding falsely insightful commentary… but they hadn't really gotten it. The _essential_, fundamental idea of it, was that you could find a hidden opponent by seeping your chakra through things of the same elemental type, or very near to it. Only a thin layer, or thread of chakra was needed, but that kind of focus and distribution required precise chakra-control; something that only I of all my teammates excelled at. This was a technique that presented more of a challenge for water or electric type chakra users, then for wind, or earth… but I could have it down pat no matter what kind of chakra was available to me.

With a shrill whistle, a shuriken suddenly embedded itself into a nearby tree. I held still, my eyes dodging around.

A violent breeze twined its way through the leaves, splattering my face with cool droplets.

No shinobi in their right mind would fire off a shuriken from their true location… unless they wished to confuse the enemy with reverse… reverse psychology.

I froze; even my heart stopping briefly. Someone had…

Repressing dread, I sent a tendril of my chakra out through a small crop of rocks. It wove its way towards the base of the tree that had been struck. I urged the chakra funneling out of my hands to worm up the tree. Sweat began to break out on my brow and my palms grew slippery from the exertion. Forcibly, I commanded my chakra up the bark. It was extremely difficult due to the tree being a combination of water and earth type elements, but somehow, I managed.

My chakra sluggishly hit the kunai and I felt a sudden pulse run along the ribbon of energy. Immediately, I severed the thin thread of chakra, temporarily closing the tenketsuo points I was operating with a slight prod to my palm-mouths.

I was inert, petrified by unease. My mind was processing all the different reasons why I had felt that fluctuation in my chakra's tempo. I shifted through hypotheses one after the other, pausing at the most sinister of possibilities.

Before I could reach a conclusion, I heard a slight 'snap'. My eyes whipped back to the kunai. No longer sitting passively, a rift had appeared along its scratched side. The split bulged, then, surprisingly, withdrew upon itself. The kunai imploded as though under great pressure.

I was uncomfortably aware of how close the weapon was to my hiding spot. And now I was angry; I didn't know what to do next. I was berating myself for not making the first move long ago.

My hands dove for my clay pouch. It was a pain only having one, but I twisted my body about awkwardly to achieve the same effect had both still been intact.

My eyes scanned hopelessly for my foe, though I knew it was a lost cause. Someone was most likely playing out of my sight with camouflage arts.

Smiling irritably, I unleashed five tiny birds from each hand, throwing them out and weaving seals with as much coordination as I could muster.

It was all a ruse… and one way or another I would break through it… with one of my own. Hopefully my enemy had been observing my last attacks… but not too closely…

Half of the sparrow-like creatures flew in close to the kunai, the other five dispersing into the trees in a star formation.

"Katsu!" I shrieked, giving up my location. The birds shuddered mid-flight, but instead of exploding, they merely expanded, and right on cue, the crumpled kunai also reacted.

**Psych.**

It burst apart in a shower of black water and shrapnel that dug into the surroundings. I countered a deadly piece of metal with my one of my own kunai. The liquid had yet to splatter me.

_Poison?_

A mild acid diluted in water, I guessed. The dark water melted through the leaves it permeated before my no longer concealed hiding place.

Heh… I still had time. The word 'katsu' alone was not enough to detonate the clay. I actually needed to do as it implied; concentrate! The plan was working.

"Katsu!" I repeated vehemently. The five birds near the tree exploded in radiant fury. The water was deflected right back to its source, thanks to some speedy calculations.

A profanity was uttered so slightly, I barely detected it within the explosions' glory. A misty silhouette flickered slightly, as the venom gathered into a seething mass where it had been thrown back.

A person. It was going to be a person... Either a bunshin or a… real person… No! It couldn't be a clone, not the way the kunai or transformed ninja had lashed out at me with the strange chakra.

I would have a kill. Oh, art… I would finally be able to take it out…

How beautiful the red would look amongst the fire. Burned up, crusted over, flaking wildly! Skin flying amok, particles of flesh… the smell; that glorious metallic, chemical odor! I wanted to kill so badly, it had passed the point of being a lustful desire, but had grown into the hideous desideratum of my art's full potential. It was addictive.

The swirling poisonous liquid compressed itself and twisted insanely. It seemed to be recoiling for a spring. I suddenly wondered where Nobu had gone when he'd dispersed into the cloud of spores. Before I could contemplate the implications of his similar technique, I found the "BANG" taking over. Subconsciously, it shoved the reasonably thinking side of my personality away, seating it shotgun for the time being. I felt more alive then ever.

There was nothing wrong with it. Never again. I refused to let stupid things like compunctions and doubt tarnish these moments.

I laughed, pulling the backup birds I had sent off in formation back to the frontline, imperceptibly guiding them through the bows of obstacles.

The pile of murky slime launched itself at me, multiplying into an equal match for my birds. It seemed to know just where to counter their movements. I hadn't planned these five bombs for an encounter with this kind of enemy… for all I knew, my opponent could have _really_ been in the bushes I sent the birds into.

Never mind that; too late… The "BANG" wasn't going to hear any misgivings. I would listen to tactics this time… and reason, but no pessimism.

The water's clones spat out thin needles of calcified minerals and venom. The spears lanced my bombs, piercing their earthen flesh, then melting into their pores.

_What the…?_

"_Katsu!_" I hollered when the clay half dove, half fell in range of the gooey person… thing… Who cared what it was.

There were five perfectly synced explosions as the bombs detonated. But I wasn't greeted by the bout of fiery rage I had expected. The birds blew up, alright, but they didn't destroy the creatures hurtling towards me… Sure, the surging liquid beings were torn apart, but they didn't evaporate, the toxins weren't set on fire, the birds… accelerated their process!

The water separated into millions of tiny particles that showered down on me as I reached desperately for more clay.

The poison was already beginning to squirm through my pores and flow in my blood. I swore, gasping as a deathly cold stole across my body, making my form heave with shaking. I could feel the beginnings of a seizure threatening my senses… I had to either calm down… or die before the mouth in my chest stole all of my rampant energy.

I struggled to bring my hands down to my clay pouch. The poison seemed to rush to my arms in response, making them heavier then lead.

_I will not… be disgraced again! No one's pulling this one on me…_

I gritted my teeth, tasting blood rupture through all four mouths. I willed myself on through the vestiges of dignity I still somehow retained. Jerkily, my fingernails scraped the cool material, my tongues digging into the viscous earth.

_Inside me… they're inside me…_

Was it even possible to pull off the kind of feint that I had in mind? What could I do besides pretend to go kamikaze- to take them with me?

My palm-mouths mashed up the clay, temporarily ingesting it before spitting it out. My fingers broke through their stupor to shape the clay.

_No…_

I bent in half helplessly, choking as a typhoon of agony broke through my veins. It twisted me up, leaving nothing but its empty stain, calling me to end it. To end everything.

I forced myself to disengage… to leave it. Nothing more then a sensation… nothing more… Pain wasn't real.

The chest-mouth gnashed its tusk-like fangs expectantly. At first, clouded as my thoughts were, I had been under the impression that the pain was stemming from the ravenous mouth, but as I gasped weakly, I became aware of a pulling sensation all over my skin. It was as though someone had punched a thousand hooks through my hide and was now attempting to yank it over my head, inside out. I cringed, finishing my bombs through the fog.

My vision began to clear, and as it did, I prepared myself for the inevitable; to cleanse myself with fire and light… anything to get the other individual out of my body.

However, now I saw something that made me all but stop. _Water_, pouring out of my skin…

I held perfectly still, watching the liquid leave my pours, mingling with sweat and blood. Right before my eyes a flickering silhouette was taking shape from the fluid. The trees wavered erratically behind the translucent figure. Like a damp canvas swiftly being painted with factory precision, colour and life began to lash across the haughty profile.

A pale girl clothed in grayish hues and slinging a breathing apparatus around her neck materialized from the water. Her features were fine and delicate, like a porcelain doll's, and her long, black hair seemed to float about her shoulders, reacting to the slightest movement of her head.

That was all I could take in of her appearance before my head unwillingly dropped. I found myself on my knees in the dirt, cringing in a most degrading fashion. My fingers fought to grasp the clay I had been working on.

"You won't be getting far," the girl said in a voice like chimes.

I gasped involuntarily.

"My Namari Abura will soon lock your joints and kill you." She said this as though it were bad joke, told so many times that it had become trite and tacky. "It will all be over soon… Though, I'm displeased that your friend also practices the secret art of Doku Mahi…"

I must have managed to look confused through the agony because she responded with a condescending look. "The art of Poison Paralysis. That waterfall girl clinging to the lightening boy uses it." I wondered who she was calling 'boy', but on closer inspection of her planed features, I had to assume that she was at least a couple years older than Tetsuo.

She must have been referring to Yasu, the medic-nin who always kept her face hidden. I had no idea that was what she was doing, but it would definitely explain why she killed with such ease.

"My technique allows me to enter my opponent's body and transfer the poisons I carry within myself. Certainly not the most efficient or quick trick in my arsenal, but good for an uppity brat like you." She leaned in, her breath chilling the side of my face. "It just goes to show that long-range doesn't always work against short-range." She laughed, the sound tinkling like bells.

Oh, I was going to kill her. And I would do such a good job of it that there'd be nothing left. Or, better yet, I'd take her apart piece by piece… all that splendor… I'd destroy it all… The thought was elating.

"You'll be dead within the hour," she said sweetly. Her words all seemed to be coated in nauseatingly honeyed tones. "You don't have the finesse to pull off an escape from the inevitable." The Amegakure kunoichi smiled benignly.

"Get going, Chiharu-san. Stop playing with your prey, everyone already knows you're the best." A sarcastic rasp drifted through the treetops, and it took me a moment to realize that it was coming from the tall, thick man looming over me. "I'm going to kill him if you don't…"

"No," she said firmly. "He wasted my time, now I'm going to make him pay me back for every second." The other rolled his eyes, and the girl shot him a dangerous look.

"Just leave him. Things are getting out of hand with these terrorists; you're needed elsewhere, not with some antinationalist whelp."

A faint whisper was audible from the kunoichi, before her hulking companion brushed her lips with a fingertip. She fell silent, basking in his touch. Without even one backward glance, they both shot away to rejoin the main fray.

I could feel my body getting stiffer by the second. My air intake was steadily declining.

I began to focus my chakra in a last ditch attempt to regain movement. If I could only break the poison down… into smaller… particles… then…

I panted feverishly, forcing chakra into my bloodstream. There was a danger that putting chakra into my blood would trigger the mouth in my chest to start leeching it out as it passed through my heart. Strangely, it was placid… surely… the wretched thing was… dying with me…

_Come on!_

My chakra connected with the poison and bonded itself to it before it could destroy any more cells. I spurred my chakra on, forcing it towards the only way I hoped it could be ejected.

By an enormous feat of willpower, I got my fingers scrabbling at my clay again. My palm-mouths dug into the sculptures I'd already molded, chewing them once more. My tongues got sluggish as soon as the poison reached the tenketsuo points. I twitched impulsively as I forced as much of the taint to pass through the microscopic regulators as I could. It burned and carved its way out of my tenketsuo into the clay I had mashed in-between my palm-mouths' teeth. The venomous substance began to congeal on the surface of the clay, but I coerced it beneath the exterior with a terse burst of chakra.

I felt the last bit of poison I had been able to group leave my body in a spurt of molten agony. My head sank a further few inches in relief, as I finished molding the volatile sculptures I had channeled the poison into. I dragged my hands through the dirt, depositing the clay figures in front of my wary eyes. I already knew that I hadn't gotten all of the toxic material out of my bloodstream… but I would definitely live and be able to fight longer now that the majority of it was removed.

I took several long, deep breaths; trying to refortify my oxygen-starved blood cells.

An inept 'crunch' alerted me to the presence of another human. My head snapped up so fast I almost gave myself whiplash.

"Whoa… Deidara-san… easy, there." Shin ducked under the branch of a gnarled tree, his hands held out in a peaceful gesture.

I glared at him; he was one of the last people I needed in the world. I almost would have rather had Nobu find me, but that thought was quickly banished on imagining what he'd have said.

"You're bleeding everywhere! Are you okay? Do you need me to help you?"

I had to bite my tongue in order not to alienate my last resource. All it would take was one moment of vindictive spite. "Well…" I gave him a malevolent glance.

Shin reached for my arm, offering his hand for support. I brushed it away none too kindly, forcing myself to my feet by willpower alone.

"What can you do, anyway?" I asked brusquely. Shin looked at me, confused. "Your specialty! What is it, hmm?"

"Oh." He turned his gaze down uncomfortably, taken aback by the abrupt change in subject. "I… don't really have one… I guess I'm an all around shinobi… sort of." His eyes brightened. "I can make pretty decent force fields, though." He displayed a tired grimace.

"Can you project them around other things?" An idea had begun to nag at my thoughts.

"Yep."

"Great," I said woodenly. A smile pasted itself onto my face, clashing horribly with the tone of voice I was using. "Now, I'm going to… uh…"

My eyes had been wondering around the surrounding bushes and over the mounds of earth torn up in tidal waves. They had just passed one such trench when a pair of bodies had flown… or almost drifted over the loam. A keening cry had broken across the aperture and then a dull smash as the two kunoichi landed in the small indentation.

The girl who had left me for dead was tussling with Yasu from Takigakure. Clearly she had taken more of an offense then I'd realized to Yasu using some sort of poison art. Neither girl seemed to have noticed Shin and me.

"Get off me, wench!" Chiharu spat viciously from behind her breathing mask, which seemed to be choking her. Yasu was half crouching over the other, one foot pinning the Amegakure nin down. Chiharu raised a parasol with her right hand, but Yasu drove another sandal into her wrist. She dropped the rigged device, taking advantage of Yasu's momentary unbalance to swing her unbound legs up and knee Yasu hard in the back.

Yasu fell forward, scraping her hands on the mound in front of her, and wheeling around to kick Chiharu in the face as she leapt to her feet. The Takigakure nin drew four shuriken from a holster tied to her back as she lunged after the Amegakure shinobi. Chiharu pulled another parasol off a belt slung over her shoulder, opening the frame to spew a rain of senbon needles at Yasu. She took over half of them, letting them impale her hidden flesh. I noticed that just before they hit Yasu, she moved her body slightly, bending her arms and twisting about to have the weapons avoid her vitals.

Yasu threw her shuriken at an unnatural velocity; they seemed to curve around mid-flight… as though there was thread attached to them. Unable to dodge them on time, Chiharu was peppered with throwing stars.

After firing off each respective assault, both girls stood stalk still, poised for the next move. Blood dripped slowly from each wound, blending with a heavy dark fluid that oozed from all weapons. Poison.

I grinned over at Shin who was watch the proceedings with rapt attention. My interest in his reaction was abruptly stolen by a burst of laughter.

Both Yasu and Chiharu were chuckling absently; mocking one another. Yasu was pulling needles from her flesh, tossing them to the side. Chiharu tore her opponent's shuriken out and paused with discarding the last one. She brought it up to her sculpted lips and licked the toxic substance off.

Yasu's eyes flashed from above the mask obscuring the lower half of her face, clearly miffed.

"Yeah, thanks for the lone; I was running low," the Amegakure shinobi goaded her, waving a hand disarmingly.

Shin couldn't take his gaze off the two kunoichi. I looked at him in disgust, and at that same moment he turned to me. I didn't bother trying to conceal my expression. He seemed hurt.

"They're poison users…" he whispered.

I snorted sardonically, "No, really?" He ignored me.

"They've found some way to survive with poison in their bodies… Theoretically speaking, they must isolate it to some body part that doesn't receive direct blood flow."

I caught on to his drift.

"Like… hair, nails, cartilage? But only in some areas… and only with the right kind of poison, hmm." I felt a repulsive twinge in my chest and remembered that I didn't have that particular kind of precise management that must have been needed to contain something so deadly within one's body. And I was still infected. All I was doing was buying more time.

"Uh huh." Shin stared ahead. "Think we should do something? We've definitely got this person outnumbered, though this seems to have gotten personal."

I didn't answer him. Instead, I picked up the two clay sculptures I'd infused with Chiharu's venom. They sat innocently in my palms, not betraying any of what they had put me through. I threw them up in the air, decisively making the choice to reveal my location. It _sure had_ gotten personal.

My hands dove once more for clay, touching down and beginning to devour the cold material just as Chiharu's eyes flicked over to the approaching birds. The moment she took to look up was instantaneously grasped by Yasu, who crossed the gap between the two of them to rake her talon-like nails across Chiharu's perfect face. Apparently unconcerned, she kicked Yasu's arm away with a vertical thrust of her leg, and threw a barrage of needles to halt the explosives. The second she destroyed my waste bombs, I cast a volley of tiny insects in her direction. I formed seals and the bugs' legs snapped out along with delicate wings that guided them through their flight.

Despite the almost undetectable speed they were moving at, Yasu noticed them and used Chiharu's body to kick off from and make a hasty retreat. I saw the scene as if in slow-motion. Yasu burst away, and the Amegakure nin's arm, still outstretched from throwing senbon needles, buckled towards her body from the force. Her violet eyes were the only thing that still seemed caught in the present. They flickered desperately…

Then the clay bombs hit her. They clung to her clothing, digging through the dark fabric. She could do nothing in the milliseconds it took for me to utter the command.

"_Katsu!_"

I saw the fire before I heard it.

**BANG!**

Life and death were mine at a caprice. Empowering… that was what art was.

**

* * *

****AN:**

Namari Abura – Leaden Oil

Doku – poison (noun)

Mahi – Paralysis

**Some of the jutsu concepts came from my brother, The Great Viking.** He's awesomeness. There will be more of Deidara fighting in the next chapter, and a shocking revelation! I like it much more than this one; can't wait to finish it and release it!

Thank you for the reviews, favourites, alerts, and for reading my work! -grins creepily- They make me happier then you think.

Picture this: Deidara with mouths in his armpits.


	21. He Who Plants Dissolution

**He Who Plants Dissolution**

Myriad hues of dark orange and yellow filled my pupils, overcoming my vision with the delights of butchery. Even from my distance I could feel the heat wash over me in radiant waves.

Then came the blood. Everywhere. The crimson liquid splattered the forest floor, drenching mangled bones and tissue, sprinkling Yasu… The smell of burning blood seeped through the trees.

"It just goes to show…" I said, smugly mimicking the dead girl's words.

"What… was…?" Shin stuttered anemically.

Yasu sternly wiped blood from her face. She looked like she wanted to say something, but her gaze suddenly shot upwards.

A thick male figure bowled out of the sky, firing off weapons. Yasu braced herself to catch his weight over a vital spot, but just as it looked like he was about to land on her, the massive ninja flipped through the air, pulling a scroll out of his pack and yanking it open. A stream of paper twined gracefully around his descending body. I recognized this person as the shinobi who had urged Chiharu to come along and help.

His expression was unreadable as he landed near the pool of blood and flesh left in my wake. He stuck the end of his index finger in his mouth and bit down on it. Tenderly, he dragged it through his companion's blood, then slashed a line of scarlet across the parchment lying about him.

"Kuchiyose no Jutsu!" Steam filled the air, causing the little fires still simmering on the nearby branches to gutter.

My hands were already back to my clay before the summoned monstrosity raised its head through the fog.

I had never seen anything quiet like it before. Its body seemed like a thick, heavy chain covered in some places with rotting flesh. Wherever the putrid meat wasn't, cold, hard steel shone through like exposed bone. The creature had no limbs; only an enormous head differentiated which end was the front and which the back… and _this_ head was ugly beyond comparison. With flaking, scabbed, grey skin, there were two holes for ears on either side, two smaller openings on the tip of its long snout that looked like nostrils, and another pair of pits just above those, from where a faint red glow emanated.

The chain-beast opened its gaping maw, revealing three rows of finely honed, yellow teeth. Saliva dripped thickly from its swollen gums, and a low, guttural snarl snapped the air's tension into sheer terror.

We stared. The man who had summoned the chain spoke quietly in an unfamiliar language. He issued a hoarse command to the creature, which tensed up unexpectedly. I couldn't tell if its eyes were moving; they were sunken too far back in its skull.

Surreptitiously, I dropped the clay I had been working on to the ground, then plunged my hands back in for some more. The worms I had released burrowed beneath the soil.

With hardly a warning, the chain-beast shot towards me, writhing through the air as though it moved across gelatin. I leapt away from my bush just on time when the monster tore through it, scattering leaves and driving dirt into the sky. Shin was right beside me as I burst out of the trees into the cleared perimeter of Amegakure's village boundary line.

Chaos was rampantly breaking out on all fronts. People fought in a blur, jutsu misfired and shred the surroundings into waste, bodies lined the trenches running along the fort. If my sight didn't deceive me, some of the deceased did not have crossed-out Amegakure headbands. They were Hanzo's…

Yasu came out of the bush after us, though the chain-beast was clearly ignoring her. It rocketed straight for me, while Yasu somersaulted to her feet on the fringe.

I felt out the worms I'd planted back in the forest. I had been sending them on a course for the man who had summoned the creature to… avenge his girl's death.

"Katsu!" I shouted. I felt the explosions course through my blood. A bit of myself died again. Smoke coiled through the leafy canopy below.

"You didn't kill him!" I heard Yasu screaming over the tumult. So much for taking out the cause of the apparition…

I swore petulantly. One of my hands was finished processing clay. I chucked a slender bird onto the breeze.

"Katsu!" I cried again, trying to hold the monstrosity back with another assault.

Chunks of scalded flesh blew off the chain's skeletal frame, its malodorous scent burning my nostrils.

My brief flight ended; I landed ankle-deep in mud. Every sense on edge, I tossed another sculpture up into the air and created a seal that caused it to expand.

A dainty, long legged heron stood in front of me, facing out to the turmoil laid in front of it. My head whipped around to glance over my shoulder at the temporarily distracted chain-beast. I tried to yank my feet out of the mire, but they stuck fast; probably the product of some jutsu. Making up my mind, I grabbed a hold of the heron's tail feathers.

"Wait!" Shin wailed from beside me. He was also trapped. Clutching at my arm, he babbled a stream of unintelligible pleas. "…He thinks I helped you… didn't kill… it stinks and it's gonna have… I can still make a barrier, but…"

"Get off of me, baka!" I cursed him, almost starting a new bomb to blow his arm off with.

The chain seemed to have recovered its bearings. Shaking its head and roaring furiously, it tore towards us, gnashing its fangs expectantly.

In a storm of sculpted feathers and earthen muscle, I forced the clay heron into flight. I almost lost my grip on its tail as my feet left the marsh… and my sandals behind. But not Shin. Oh, no… not Shin. He clung fast to my arm, nearly jerking it out of its socket.

At first, I tried to kick him off, but the more altitude we gained, the harder he seemed to clench my arm. The bird I had created was not meant to carry this much weight… and definitely not on a slant, like the one Shin was hanging on from. I fought to pull myself up by my one arm and felt my tendons snapping. Concentrating, I commanded the bird to lower its spindly feet from their folded position in flight.

"Grab its legs!" I yelled down at Shin. His pale face shone up at me, pasted in sweat.

"…They're _so_ far…" I caught his faint whisper over the shriek of flight.

"Do it now," I said, suddenly unnaturally calm. "I will swing you out as far as I can. Otherwise, I will have to blow you up, in which case you will die, and I will waste time in escaping, meaning I will also perish." I couldn't help but smile cruelly. The idea wasn't all that daunting.

I began to rock my shoulder back and forth, taking my arm with it in a slow, agonizing movement. I heard another howl of rage, very close now.

My arm reached the peak of its upside-down arc, and mercifully, I felt the pressure around my wrist drop away. Shin was flung forward into the back of the heron's legs.

Instantly, I made the bird pick up speed. I hauled myself onto its streamlined rump, then crawled the rest of the way up its slender back. Not bothering to check on Shin, I concentrated my chakra to my knees and feet, flattening myself against the cool material, and beginning a new set of bombs.

"Ugh!" I gasped as I felt the poison still lingering in my blood make another round through my heart.

I finished creating the two lethal explosives I'd started by injecting a stronger intensity of chakra into them. This kind of energy was untainted by the toxin's touch. It was pure.

Thinking back to my journey on this nation's roads, I'd had a lot of time to experiment secretly while on the move. It was during one of my rambling debates with myself that I'd decided on names for my art… and levels. For now, going by the standard method of explosive grading, I'd compromised with basing my chakra ranks and bomb potencies on the labels C1, C2, and C3 consecutively.

"C2…" I muttered, pitching the deadly duo of swans into the wake left by my steed.

Also riding the current, the chain-beast almost collided head-on with the two sleek bombs. They maneuvered out of the way, slipping past the monster's broad snout.

"Katsu!" I cried as they flew beside the creature's squirming body.

BANG!

That same horrible odor punctuated my nose, as particles of the monster blew off. It bellowed in a mixture of agony and ire, heaving with paroxysms of anger.

Suddenly there was a 'snap!' and one of the links in the chain's body broke off. The decaying joint began a freefall to the earth, then abruptly shuddered mid-flight and came shooting right at me.

_What in the bloody blue blazes...?_

The severed piece of chain came chasing after me, following in the path of the monster that had spawned it. It moved faster then its parent, and the closer it got, the more I could make out of it. A new head was manifesting itself upon my pursuer.

The chain-beast could multiply, apparently.

"Deidara!" Shin called out below me. I crawled back to my creation's tail end and leaned over to peer down its left haunch.

"They're shooting at us now!" Shin was wrapped tightly around the heron's legs. Below him the scenery was laid down in miniscule detail. The forest was behind us… but the log fortress was dead ahead. I'd been so focused on fighting the monster that I hadn't even noticed how dangerously close we had come to the border of safety. Actually, we had passed it. Flaming projectiles and arrows were aiming for us, manned by Amegakure shinobi holding the top of the fortress.

Twisting my body around, I made the heron bank sharply to avoid a volley of spikes. But I couldn't turn on time to avoid smashing into the barricade…

I took the bird into a steep climb. We shot vertically up the wall. Logs fell past my eyes in a blur, and Shin started screaming again. The creatures chasing us almost collided with the fort, and paused for just a few seconds, momentarily baffled.

I took that instant to scale the clay heron's neck and swing myself around so that I was clinging to its belly. The bird's wings buffeted me about, sending my loose hair askew. I felt a slight twinge on my forehead as the rivets holding the Sunagakure plate popped off, scratching me. The pressure shielding my brow loosened, then Kaede's headband slipped off and plummeted away.

Grinning maniacally, I crawled down to the heron's awkwardly outstretched legs, holding my hand out for Shin to grasp. He took not a minute's hesitation, clutching at me with pathetically obvious relief. I dragged him back up my creation's shoulder.

"Focus your chakra to your feet and dig in," I ordered him, pushing his hands against my clay's slippery back. I wasn't sure is he had heard me over the howling of the wind and rain, but he didn't fall when I let go of him.

My artwork suddenly pitched backwards. With a jerk, the smaller chain-beast pursuing us had lunged upwards and plunged its fangs into my heron's tail feathers. We were now sinking at a terrifying velocity; weighed down by the monster. It seemed to have swollen to an even greater size since the last time I had seen it at such a close proximity.

Our abrupt descent had saved us from a spear lanced down the wall by an enemy, but we were now in even greater peril.

I could think of only one option in the spur-of-the-moment.

"Get a kunai or something!" I hollered at Shin, taking out my own knife. "We're gonna cut the bird's tail off!"

Oh, I shuddered at the thought of all the implications that would arise from severing my art's rudder… but it couldn't be helped. Not if I planned on living another day.

Shin could hardly hold his footing (even splayed across the heron's back) so he tentatively reached out and began sawing at my creation's tail. I joined in, climbing over his prone form to hack at my beautiful work. I gazed down into the glowering chasms of the chain-beast's eyes.

"Au revoir," I sneered.

With a final jab, the rest of the tail tore off with the monster, and we rocketed into an ascent again.

"Katsu!" I made the seal for 'ram', and far below us the remnant of my clay exploded in the creature's mouth. It was just as I had deduced. Head-on attacks were the only ones effective against such a foe.

The smaller chain-beast lost to gravity, and its corpse plummeted to the ground, hitting its brethren briefly as it fell past it. The other monster's rage only intensified. Though slower than its deceased clone, it clearly held the brute force the other had lacked.

My clay creation struggled against its handicap, finally breaking over the wall and leveling out into a horizontal flight.

Guards on top of the staggering wall shot more weapons at us, and though I tried my hardest to avoid them, my bird's maneuverability had been diminished. A Morning star had come wailing at us faster then I could react and had sunk right through the heron's left wing and straight out the other side. My creation tilted erratically, and we almost pitched off into a sideways dive.

The heron's long beak began to incline downwards. My creation was top-heavy… I controlled the bird's movements cautiously now, afraid of going into a nosedive. My eyes snapped over to Shin, who was cowering down against the chiseled feathers. A couple hundred senbon needles fixed themselves within the heron's underside.

"Make a force field!" I growled. "We're going down." Shin's jaw dropped open, but he sat up a bit, trembling hard. His fingers began to trace a well-known pattern, slipping past one another, weaving flawlessly. He gritted his teeth, and clapped his hands together for the finale. A pulsing viridian bubble formed around his fingertips, then expanded. The quivering force blossomed outwards, passing over me and my steed. When we were entirely enveloped by the barrier, Shin made another strange gesture that caused the force field to suddenly stiffen into a horizontal diamond shape.

It was then that we started falling.

The heron dove, and I made it cease its frantic flapping to angle its wings smoothly. We glided over the massive wall, chased by more arrows and the remaining chain-monster. The beast snapped its colossal jaws, impatiently gaining on us.

A group of the Amegakure guards had gotten together and lobbed a platoon of umbrellas at us. They all mirrored a single seal that caused the parasols to open up and spew senbon needles and katana at us. Unaware that the monster stalking us was on their side, they relentlessly attacked it too.

Shin and I were both moaning obscenities under our breath, as the clay we sat atop spiraled to the pointed towers below, and the weapons clattered off Shin's force field, and… the chain-beast multiplied again and again…

The city scenery underneath us was astounding, and under different circumstances, I might have critiqued it on the imagination of its designers. Pipes and irrigation channels ran all along the narrow, crowded streets, and skyscrapers sprouted up into the clouds, reaching beyond even our descending heads. Water flowed freely through aqueducts suspended over apartment buildings and cramped arenas. Lights shone dully through the fog and rain below us.

I could feel my hair standing on end, even over the airstream's violent tug. A blinding white flash cloaked the city. A slow rumble started up from all around us. It dropped a couple octaves, turning into a low, resounding 'BOOM!'.

Under the sound of the thunder, the small army of chain-beasts bellowed their ghastly chorus. They began ramming themselves against the force field, shrieking and tearing around like possessed mercury and puce bullets. Shin was slick with sweat. He had his hands held in the seal for 'ox' as though they were glued together.

The buildings were rapidly growing closer, and the monsters were driving us down. I felt the bottom of my clay pouch and realized I was almost out. Taking some of the remaining clay, I began to process new bombs. I had no better plan then to crash, deal with the locals, and try to take the chains on stable footing.

One of the heron's wounded wings dipped down and the bird began tilt. We were heading towards a humongous culvert that jutted out of the side of a brick bridge. Our crooked glide took us down to a shallow pool of dirty rainwater trickling towards the enormous opening.

"This is it!" Shin panicked.

I made my creation begin flapping its wings in the finishing down strokes for a landing.

"Let go of the field!" I yelled over at Shin. His eyes spoke terror. "We're bailing before they can catch up." I jerked a thumb back at our pursuers.

We were suddenly thirty meters above the filthy ditch. Shin complied, releasing his seal and letting the barrier shatter outwards, its pieces dispersing into dust. I threw myself off of the bird headfirst, pulling out my finished bombs and slipping them onto a passing wind current. Shin followed my lead, plummeting after me.

I twisted around midair, directing my explosive falcons towards the heads of the eager monstrosities pestering us. Taking aim as best as I could, I detonated the bombs to slow the creatures down.

"Katsu!" I signed 'tora'. Three of the beasts were destroyed. Their remains pelted my back as I flipped to a feet first position for landing.

I sunk down to meet concrete below the murky water, absorbing the force of my impact with chakra. A repulsive taste filled my nose and mouth when I fell into the shallow pool of grime. I spat out sewage, coughing harshly and choking. Shin splashed down in front of me, rolling on his side through the refuse. We were both on our feet before all the water had left our lungs. Hacking roughly, we stumbled for the dark abyss before us.

On either side of us were the backs of alleys and rubbish bins, connected by the bridge that spanned over the culvert we were heading to. Behind the overpass was another wall into which the culvert burrowed away. Behind us… well, I don't really know what was behind us, because neither of us took another second to hesitate.

My palm-mouths devoured the last of my clay as I ran towards the void.

_Better make this worth it…_

My improvisation wasn't failing me now?

The darkness swallowed us as we stepped into the cavernous pipe. Water tugged at my knees, speeding my progress as we were drawn towards whatever lay in wait. All culverts led to somewhere open… right? There was no time to regret our decision or go back. Over the gentle rush of echoing water and dripping of condensation, I could hear the distinct sounds of the chain-beasts' levitating flight.

"Oh!" I heard Shin's surprised exclamation. I peered through the blackness trying to make out his silhouette ahead. He had stopped moving.

"What?" I asked bitingly.

"There's a flap or trap door here. A really big one…"

"Then why is this slime not going down it, hmm?"

"There must be more water pressure down bel-"

A wailing, deep roar started grating below us. The pipe we were in was vibrating and water droplets showered down on our heads. The mouth in my chest started throbbing unhelpfully. I began to hyperventilate.

"Deidara?" Shin's voice broke.

With a titanic crash, I felt the water around my legs pull my feet up and send me onto my back. There was only one moment to steal a breath of musty air before I was pulled after Shin down the drain.

It had to be one of the most distressing experiences of my life. The pressure of liquid constricted me at every angle, buffering me around between one current and the next, trying to knock my precious oxygen out of my chest. It didn't feel as though my lungs were about to burst… it felt like they were going to collapse. I kept the clay my palm-mouths had eaten stuffed firmly within them as though my life depended on them.

My eyes were pinched firmly shut. Small sulphur-coloured lights swam under my eyelids, obscuring the black. My brain felt waterlogged…

Then my cheek scraped coarse concrete, and the rest of my body followed after it, colliding with the back of my head. Cold water washed over me, then dispersed. I could feel warm air against my skin and past my sodden clothing, but I couldn't breathe. I lay on the hard ground, eyelids still clenched.

_Is there… water in my lungs…? No. What?_

I released my expired oxygen, taking a greedy gasp of humid air. I could hear someone else sucking air in beside me.

_Shin._

I just wanted to stay still. Never move again. Sit in the waning heat of this… place.

Shinobi instinct forced itself into place. My cerulean eyes snapped open, narrowing against a dim set of lights hanging from a dirty, plastic ceiling. The building Shin and I had washed up in looked like a greenhouse. We appeared to be lying on one of the concrete strips between several beds of spiky, pineapple-like vegetables protruding from the mud.

I weakly raised myself into a sitting position. Above us and running along a series of beams, were huge pipes with hatches that opened up over various plant beds. Even as I observed these waterways, one of them opened and spewed water on an arbor of tropical trees nearby.

I brushed a strand of soaking blond hair aside to stare across the other end of the room. My eyes met a metallic wall, then languidly moved up to gaze at a platform. There were doors up there and stairs behind them… and… _a person_?

A person?

I was sure that I had killed more then a few brain cells at this point, and was making everything up.

Nobu couldn't have possibly been standing back there so calmly, leaning into the shadows… And what was he wearing? His generic kimono had been swapped for a long, black cloak dappled with impressive red clouds lined in white. The high, stiff collar of the cloak was folded down low enough to expose Nobu's thin chest.

I glanced at Shin. Out cold.

I got up shakily. Almost on their own, my palm-mouths began chewing their clay again.

"_**I**_ _**told you to sit tight.**_" Nobu's dark voice rang out, but somehow it sounded like it was everywhere, not just in my head.

Nobu stretched out his right arm, pointing at me. A vine suddenly burst out of the flowerbed beside me and twined itself around my torso. My chest-mouth tried to bite it through my clothing. Giving Shin a casual glance, Nobu flicked his wrist and another thick vine incarcerated the unconscious Iwa shinobi.

"This is not what I was anticipating…" said Nobu, his other voice growing malicious. He grinned, his sharp teeth glistening.

"_**I told you of a true antinationalist theory.**_"

"But what you're grasping for isn't the half of it."

Nobu closed his eyes. "Homen suru…" he whispered.

His image started to ripple and fade beneath his cloak. Through the blur, I could see the right side of his body getting darker, while the left half paled into a sickly white. Something plant-like… was sprouting from under his clothing, up around his shoulders. Two large, spiky leaves had grown over on either side of Nobu, towering around his head. The sleeves of his cloak seemed to become empty. Beneath his strange two-tone skin, I could tell that Nobu's features had taken on a hungry, feral quality. The only thing that had remained the same was his short, unruly green hair.

Nobu opened his eyes. Both were round, yellow and pupil-less. The right eye -the one on the black half of his body- had no visible sclera.

"My name is Zetsu," said the white side. This voice had an oddly apologetic note to it. Like it was open to reason, and didn't mean all the trouble it had put me through.

"_**I have been undercover in the organization you joined for half a year… not three months.**_" When the dark side spoke, it carried the same condescending, bossy tone that Nobu's voice had when he'd talked to me in my mind. It was low, rough, and heady. I couldn't tell if the words were now in my brain, or out loud. The dark half's mouth barely moved when it uttered its explanation.

"I was sent here by my own organization to destabilize this one. It was making our goals difficult to attain… and we were looking for new candidates for our-"

"-_**No**_," the dark side interrupted irritably. "_**My only intention was to set this group upon itself, so that it would crumble from within. It was only until I saw your… unique ability that I told Leader-sama of a veritable replacement for… him.**_"

The disagreement between the two halves took me by surprise.

He had seemed so composed until he revealed himself as Zetsu, not Nobu. Now, here was someone who had probably gone his whole life shunned until there was no one willing to talk to him… but himself. Or maybe listening to so many people's hopes, ideas, dreams, beliefs, and darkest secrets had torn him apart so badly that the reasons each thought had used to justify its existence had split him into two separate entities, unable to agree on a set of defining characteristics.

Intriguing, but not worth a lot of thought. Not art.

_He's crazy… _

"Maybe," Zetsu's white side agreed.

"What do you mean? Who am I supposed to be a replacement for?" I demanded, not caring if the answers I got didn't make sense anyway.

"I'll tell you another time. We're not ready to take you on yet."

"Who?" I asked, frustrated. "What organization? I don't want to join anything else!"

Zetsu ignored me.

"The only reason I'm revealing myself now… the only reason I brought you here… is that my work is done. My faction is ready to strike Tetsuo's weakened side. I've planted the seeds of destruction. Not to mention…"

"…_**We lured Hanzo's followers out.**_" Zetsu nodded in a satisfied way. "_**Both of our enemies lowered each other's numbers.**_" Was he implying that the Amegakure dissenters were in league with him, but the side loyal to following the old leader wasn't?

"I'm giving you a heads-up for when we come for you… and when Tetsuo begins to suspect you."

"_**We will come for you, Deidara. You'll be a useful asset to Akatsuki.**_"

Shin groaned quietly beside me. Zetsu's glowing eyes slid over to him. He was silent, his head slightly cocked, as though listening to someone.

A flood of chakra suddenly seeped into the room. It stifled all the thoughts and actions my mind was sifting through. I almost forgot to breath. This kind of power was incredible… The massive chakra preceded its owner long before the tall figure stepped out of the shadows of the platform Zetsu stood on.

"Good job, Zetsu." The man's voice was deep and imposing; indescribably so. I couldn't see this person's features; no matter how hard I focused on him, his whole frame was cloaked in wavering shadows and darkness. Only his frightening eyes were discernable. His pupils were surrounded by multiple green and pink irises. Was this 'Leader-sama'?

"We don't need the extra anymore," he said solemnly. "He's served his purpose."

Zetsu didn't need any coaxing. He turned his attention back to the vine constricting Shin. I watched the pointed tip of the lethal plant slither around Shin's throat. It tightened fluidly and Shin's neck broke with a sickening 'snap'.

Some end. No resistance. No 'BANG'.

"Hey!" I shouted against my better judgment. He was mine to kill… mine to exercise art on! Only art, nothing else.

I cringed instinctively when the all seeing eyes of the stranger fell upon me.

"You will have plenty of opportunities to kill when you join Akatsuki," he deadpanned. A clammy sweat broke out all over my body. "And it was necessary. Listen to me, Deidara."

He knew my name.

"You will return to your terrorist leader and tell him that the failure of this operation was due to Nobu's traitorous ways, and that he was in league with the Amegakure shinobi. Don't underestimate the simplicity of this falsehood. He will take care of the rest, I assure you. No one will accept this defeat for long. This Tetsuo will begin to root out the rebels and that is when I want you to leave."

Surely it would raise even more suspicion if I abandoned Tetsuo at that time… and I highly doubted he'd let me. Though, maybe that was the point. I said nothing.

"Zetsu brought you here so you'd be prepared for this." I opened my mouth, about to say I'd been chased here by the vengeance of some Amegakure shinobi, when it clicked that those particular ninja I'd attacked… in fact, almost all of the Amegakure shinobi from the side of the wall we fought on, were the ones in league with Zetsu and… Leader-sama?

"Now that you're informed, he'll take you back to the frontline so you can resume the charade." The eyes bore into me. "I trust you will make up more than one sufficient lie. And tell _Tetsuo_ that this boy…" he gestured imperiously at Shin. "…died at the hands of _true_ freedom."

The vine wrapped around my midriff slackened, then crumbled away. Shin's cadaver slid limply to the ground. The mouth in my chest began snapping its teeth the moment the plant released its binding pressure.

"Uah…" The diluted poison was still taking its toll on my body. To my embarrassment, blood began to pour out of all four mouths. I wasn't even coughing this time. The scarlet liquid dripped steadily, staining my clothing.

Vaguely, from a distance, I heard a commotion overhead. One of the irrigation pipes' hatches flew open and a torrent of compressed water came smashing down to a flowerbed containing large, waxy, pink fruit. Hovering under the weight of the raining slime, the chain-beasts hunting me appeared. They had all grown to bloated proportions. There must have been at least eight of them…

I spat a glob of coagulated blood onto the cement.

Nostrils flaring, the monsters dove at me. I was about to release the last of the clay I'd stored when all of the creatures froze. Their tiny eyes were staring blankly at the man standing beside Zetsu on the platform.

Leader-sama hissed something in a raspy pitch. The chains answered him insistently. The man reprimanded them curtly. Growling resentfully they disappeared in several puffs of smoke; back to the summoning planes.

By the time my eyes had moved back to the shadowy man's position, he was gone. His surging chakra didn't disappear right away. The tendrils of energy still leapt about the room like invisible sparks from a bonfire, dying in bursts of brilliance as they flew farther from their fuel.

Zetsu glided serenely down a set of concrete steps, coming to stand no more than forty feet away from me. He paused, seeming to examine the stalk of some ugly, carnivorous plant. A Venus Flytrap. The resemblance between its sharp leaves and the ones enveloping Zetsu's upper body was uncanny.

Leaning awkwardly over the plant, he spoke conversationally. "It was fun when I told you I was in Tetsuo's Inmetsu squad. Your reaction was entertaining. Truthfully, I don't have an inkling of what is involved in explosive work. I joined that team before you weren't any the wiser to my ignorance."

"_**A waste of time**_," the dark side snapped. Zetsu seemed to vacillate indecisively.

"Oh, well," the white half shrugged. He hesitated for a moment, then swept away from the menacing plant, half-limping towards me.

I stiffened uncontrollably. There was something very inhuman about the way he moved. One moment he flowed gracefully from one spot to another, the next he was staggering around, as though fighting against something twisting around inside him.

"Plant manipulation is very similar to Mokuton jutsu."

"_**You wouldn't know what that is, boy.**_"

"Yes, otherwise you would have spotted the lie immediately when I told you the people of my village used Tsurukusa jutsu." Zetsu inclined his head slightly.

I was confused, but clearly not needed in this conversation.

"Tsurukusa jutsu… Vine and plant arts are mine alone."

"_**And that Orochimaru thought he had done something special with harnessing Mokuton…**_" the black side sneered.

This might have started out as an explanation for Zetsu's interference in my life, but it had turned into some sort of rant about jutsu I didn't want to know about. So what? I hadn't noticed that he'd been making up a bunch of phony stories about Kusagakure-nin… Whatever… neither had Tetsuo.

"_Don't Kusa-nin practice earth arts, but with plants, right? Combining water chakra… or something…?"_ I had asked.

"_That's correct, most of them do," _Zetsu had told me as Nobu.

Zetsu crept up to my side, stealing an odd glance at Shin's body before turning to stare at me. His eyes moved discreetly over the blood soaked into my black and white kimono.

"_**I'm hungry. Cut the crap; there'll be time for this later.**_"

"Oh…" Zetsu contemplated his own suggestion. "Yes." He looked me over with something close to a wistful expression.

"I'm going to warp you back to the gate you were fighting at."

The trap around his shoulders loomed over me, making me feel tiny. I could see every knotted detail and swollen vein running up from his chest. Sweat was glistening clearly on his dark side.

"So you're not going to explain anymore?" I asked haughtily. "I'm not going anywhere with you people… whenever you come to get me. I really couldn't care less about nationalism and all that…"

"_**Shut up. I don't care either,**_" the dark half snarled.

"What do you care about, then?" I asked, a sarcastic grin slipping onto my features.

Zetsu didn't answer me. He had closed his eyes and begun muttering inaudibly. His two-tone lips moved quickly.

My vision began to blur and I suddenly felt disembodied. I tried to move, but none of my muscles complied. I was fading away… my worst fear.

The last I caught of Zetsu was his back as he stooped down over Shin's corpse, whispering feverishly.

"_**Bony… lean…**_"

"Better than nothing."

In a swirl of pollen, I was gone.

* * *

**AN:**

Homen suru – to release (from an obligation)

Mokuton jutsu – Wood Release Arts

Tsurukusa – Vine

Again, some of the jutsu concepts came from my brother, **The Great Viking**. He's superlative.


	22. Fallible Steps

**Fallible Steps**

When my eyelids flickered open again, I was sitting atop the bulb of some nauseating plant seeded among a grove of stinking flowers. Stunned, I pushed myself away from the repulsive things, remembering the acuity I had gotten from that final look at Zetsu.

Raising my guard, I stalked away from the small copse towards the sounds of chaos and battle growing ever louder in the distance.

"Sound the alarm! Someone start the signal!" I heard people screaming and swearing in panic. The source of the terrified voices was soon upon me. Ragtag shinobi ran past me, most vanishing in transportation jutsu, like the one Zetsu had used. Some of them were dropping dead as they fled- most likely the victims of poison.

Still I continued on, shoving against the flow of the crowd, diverting anyone who got too near to me with violent kicks.

"Retreat," someone said very close to me. I knew the words were aimed at me.

Yasu was trotting towards me, disheveled and woebegone. From above the cloth masking her face, it looked to me as though she had aged by five years. She was coated in sticky, dried blood.

I kept up my pace.

"I told you to retreat. That's an order from your superior," she said tepidly.

"Oh, really? That's new. Where's Tetsuo?" I asked condescendingly. I wondered if Yasu had decided to take over for him. Was he dead?

"He's just not giving up. As his second in command, I ordered everyone to withdraw. We're fighting a losing battle. This whole venture was foolhardy." Of course, I knew the true nature of said venture. It was unimportant to Tetsuo; no matter the outcome… it was just a test.

"I want to see." I shouldered my way past Yasu. She seemed too drained to push the point.

"The Amegakure ninja are chasing our forces away. It's just Tetsuo and someone from the rebels' side," she warned. "They might come back and hem you in with him."

"Sure."

She shook her dirty head, leaving me on my way.

I wove through the trees, quietly drawing nearer to the fray. A chaos, like titans clashing, rang through the trunks, rocking the overhanging boughs to their core. As I entered the area where the trees began to thin out, I halted and soared up onto a higher branch. I slipped through the rustling leaves, poking my face out between a pair of twigs.

Yards away from my perch, Tetsuo was hovering over fifty feet in the air, his arms outstretched. Surrounding him were four metal plates, and stemming from them was an electrical storm. The crackling, sparking, barrier of lightning lashed out at his surroundings without discretion, seeking for a way to ground itself. It jumped from raindrop to raindrop as the tempest bore down on the two combatants.

Tetsuo's opponent was obviously no ordinary enemy, to be able to survive under those conditions. He was sapping energy from Tetsuo's shock field, and turning it against him. Everywhere this pallid, stringy man walked bore life to powerful torrents of steaming vapor and blisteringly hot water. When he took a few slow, steady steps closer to Tetsuo, the swamp of boiling mud expanded around himself. Despite being constantly hit with discharges from Tetsuo's aura, he remained unfazed. His fingers moved nimbly, sliding one over the other in a series of complicated seals.

"_Suiton: Suiso Kojikomeru no Jutsu!_" he trilled.

"Know what he's doing?" A thoroughly despised voice floated up to me. I averted my eyes from the fight to look down on Kaede, who was standing at the base of the tree I'd perched myself in. Her coveralls were burned, faded, and torn. There were crimson smears all over her face, and her dark eyes still held a disturbingly familiar bloodlust in them. They mirrored my own azure orbs.

"What _are_ you doing?" I asked disgustedly. "Get out of here before someone decides to scrap your sorry hide, hmm."

"Haha… you're quite the lady-killer, huh, Deidara-kun? You take the phrase to a whole new level. Have you actually killed any men before?" She grinned up at me. Turning dangerously sweet, I returned the spiteful gesture.

"Well, what can I say? I can't help it if I was born dead-handsome. I'm just too darn sexy, hmm."

"You got that right." We exchanged unfathomable stares before Kaede hopped uninvited onto the same branch as me. She wriggled over beside me, getting unnecessarily close.

"That Amegakure ninja is pulling hydrogen out of the water," Kaede said smugly. "He borrowed Tetsuo's electricity to separate the compound."

"Yeah, that much I got, thanks," I retorted silkily.

"He's not going to get far with it, though," Kaede mused. "It'll ignite before it even gets close to Tetsuo. He must know that… so what's he planning?"

"I don't care," I said emotionlessly.

"Where's Nobu, Deidara-kun?" she asked abruptly. I gave her an impassive look.

"He was a traitor."

"Ha ha ha, well, of course he was," she said scathingly. "That was obvious. But what did he do?"

"I'll leave that for Tetsuo's ears, hmm." I smirked. "If he survives, that is."

Fire was enveloping Tetsuo's field in a haze that shielded him from my eyes. The sky took on a frightening, choleric air. The darkening storm overhead swirled and grew violent. Sleet began to pour down, and thunder groaned nearby.

"I've been watching this for awhile. The other shinobi has exhausted his ingenuity trying to get through Tetsuo's aura; it'll be over soon. Tetsuo saved his energy. I think Yasu gave up on him too soon. Tetsuo will be…" Kaede's words drifted off. I followed her gaze.

The flames engulfing Tetsuo's orb dispersed; robbed of their oxygen. Lightning crackled overhead, and a sudden rumble throbbed through the air, seeming to cause even my marrow to pulse with its jarring rhythm. The metal plates hovering around Tetsuo's form plummeted to the earth, planting themselves into the soil.

Kaede reached for my arm, and at the same time I drew a kunai to block her movement. I glared at her from between the strands of damp hair playing around my eyes. A blinding flash lit up the clearing in front of the gates and a biting wind tumbled between the branches of our hiding place.

I took just a moment to protect my eyes with the back of my free hand, and could have sworn I felt the heat and brightness of the sudden illumination lick along my palm-mouth. My hair stood on end.

"No…!" Kaede breathed nervously. She cursed, confusion and anger mixing on her features.

I struggled to get a look at the breathtaking scene, squinting from between my fingers.

Lightning… a column of pure, untamed electricity had bolted down from the miserable skies and connected with Tetsuo's small, seemingly weak form. It jumped over his haughty frame, crackling and discharging in violent bursts of raw power.

I scratched one of my eyebrows indifferently. "Hmm?"

For once, Kaede ignored me. She was absorbed in the conflict's sudden climatic turn. I looked away from her, back to Tetsuo, who appeared to be hunched over in unfathomable agony. He held his sparking head between his charged hands. The lightning broke away abruptly, but energy continued to spill over Tetsuo's form. Slowly, he uncurled his floating figure…

Surges of power leapt off of his body, and his skin almost seemed to… glow. Flesh was visibly melting and peeling off of him, flying up to dance along the currents of electricity.

He crossed his arms over his chest in a threatening manner, raising his clenched fists up over his eyes. Silver locks of hair pulsed around his bronze face.

Tetsuo's wiry opponent made a frown that I could see even from my distance. His lips mouthed something I was unable to read and he raised one arm in a seal, while sweeping the other in an arc around his knees.

"_Kyokutan Koritsu no Jutsu..._" Kaede whispered the enemy's unheard words beside me. "This can't be good… There's not enough time for the boss to mess around!"

The Amegakure shinobi opened his mouth and took a colossal breath of the invisible hydrogen. His lowered hand, unhindered by a seal, whipped up and the marshy sludge below him rose with the movement. The thick liquid coiled up his legs and encased his immobile figure. It seemed to grow gelatinous and flexible, for the incarcerated ninja within threaded both of his hands together in a seal and charged forth.

Tetsuo watched the other's progress with abating interest.

_"Go Senko Kieru no Jutsu!" _Tetsuo croaked hoarsely. A massive column of lightning hurtled off of his body and flashed in a jagged path that struck the oncoming shinobi. Tetsuo screamed as the power left his body, taking blood with it. The Amegakure-nin staggered mid-stride, but continued towards Tetsuo. Segments of his armour hardened and fell off behind him only to be replaced by more of the marshy substance his footfalls spawned.

"No… not any more… _wait!_" Kaede moaned.

"His body is deteriorating," I observed. "Tetsuo's only got four strikes left, correct?"

"Well… yes." With a great deal of effort, Kaede turned back to me. "This is his grand move… But if he doesn't safely and slowly release that energy… he'll be killed. These… diffusion 'strikes' are what really does him in. He's got about ten minutes max when fully charged. But each shot he takes lowers his time by two or more minutes… before he dies." She swallowed dryly and her pupils dilated dramatically. "No mere human can live under this for a second. I don't know how he does it, but somehow he insulates his organs… and this character fighting him… knows something about this too!" She cursed at her moment of obvious helplessness. Still, she was beyond breaking down and weeping. It was as though you really did have a limit as to how many tears could be shed. The wells within our souls' windows had gone dry… or been sealed. Who had rolled the stone over my despair…?

"Gonna help him, hmm?" I mocked her. Her iron façade was crumbling, and I wasn't above tearing the last of her defences off. Besides, she wouldn't do anything… she was easy to read.

"…" Kaede was silent. "You…" Her grim expression suddenly inverted itself. "You and I are going to get along so well in the coming months." She couldn't quite smile yet.

"What coming months, hmm?" I scoffed, leering at her. _You'll be dead by then_.

A loud crack brought our focus back to the raging battle. Tetsuo had fired another bolt of lightning and a large chunk of armour had been torn from the Amegakure shinobi's body. The missing plate was replaced hastily, as the enemy was almost within Tetsuo's shield. But the damage had seemed to be repaired _almost_ too quickly…

"Ahaha…" Kaede laughed dementedly. Her face was suddenly bathed in the ashen glow emanating from Tetsuo's energy as he floated back a few paces from his assailant. His slight retreat brought us frighteningly close to the confines of his dangerous aura. I glanced from person to person, coolly assessing the situation. If what I thought was going to happen did indeed transpire… then we were definitely in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I began to slip away through the tree's branches. Kaede grabbed my arm before I could slash her with my kunai knife.

"Oh, you'll be wanting to stick around…"

"Let go, baka…! You can stay." I jerked away impatiently, and at the same moment, the Ame-nin broke through Tetsuo's field. Tetsuo rocketed backwards… straight for the trees.

"Ugh!" I cried as the outer fringe of the shock waves hit me. It felt as though small fires were starting up inside each and every one of my joints, and I was sure that my recent run-in with Chiharu's poison was not helping.

This time Kaede followed me as I leapt away into a safer perch.

The Amegakure ninja was getting closer and closer to Tetsuo's electricity core. Tetsuo did nothing. He remained fixed in the same place above the canopy.

His opponent suddenly shot into the air, bridging through the sky towards Tetsuo. A wave of conductive water followed his ascent like turbulence.

"Now he's gonna open that one section on his armour… and he's going to vomit out all that hydrogen right by Tetsuo… and somehow get away…" I muttered. "Or…" It suddenly dawned on me what the other option might be. Kaede frowned at me.

He might die with Tetsuo; might kill himself to take out the terrorists' leader. "Oh, fun…" I spoke softly. "Gonna go out with a 'BANG'?"

"NO!" Kaede shrieked as realization hit her too. "Tetsuo!"

The crust around the Ame-nin's mouth fell away suddenly… just as Tetsuo sent his third lightning strike at his enemy. The Amegakure shinobi opened his mouth and exhaled in a whoosh of hydrogen.

"NOOO!" Kaede's voice broke like glass struck with a fist. She swore profusely, but her oaths were drowned out by the massive explosion.

BANG!

A substantial wall of warm air buffeted us among the bows, tousling my damp hair. I clung to the tree's smooth bark, feeling the trunk shudder below me and an intense light wash over my face. Smoke swirled around us like some fell fog. The odour was stifling and some of the nearby trees were already in flames.

"Aaahh…!" I heard a loud and agonized moan right beside my ear. "Tetsuo!" Kaede screamed again.

"Shut up!" I roared back at her. "Just shut up! He's dead!"

Kaede's dry coughing and my anger was interrupted by another voice.

"Dead… feh…" someone spat arrogantly. I flinched in surprise.

"T-Tetsuo!" Kaede stuttered uncharacteristically.

"Come here… Now!" Tetsuo's voice commanded through the smoke. Kaede hopped down from the branch we were squatting on and rushed off, disappearing into the swirling darkness. I followed more slowly, seething inside.

The grey haze dispersed after a short trek through the acerbic air. Tetsuo's battered body surfaced amongst the scattered debris, laying several feet under the ground in a crater. One of the huge sheets of engraved metal he had been using to gather electricity and attract lightning was covering most of his upper body.

"Gently!" he barked at Kaede, as she tried to lift the massive plate. Her shaking hands were rendering her strength quite useless.

"You shielded yourself… you shielded yourself at the last minute from that explosion…" Kaede was babbling absently.

"Yeah, lot of good it did me… blasted thing crushed my legs when I fell…" he added another adjective at the end of his exclamation for emphasis.

"How did you ever lose all that electricity without killing yourself?" Kaede asked, looking mortified. My eyes moved over what little of Tetsuo's body I could see, tracing the outlines of his wounds. His arms were propped at odd angles, and most of the first few layers of skin were burned off… in other places, his flesh had melted and fused in ugly, raw folds.

"That's just the thing…" Tetsuo mumbled. His adrenaline fuelled anger was beginning to fade. "Get Yasu… get Yasu… I don't want these… scars to stay… Tell her to do the same as the… last time." Tetsuo barely had eyelids left to shut over his hard pupils, which slowly slid into the back of his head.

My subconscious mind began to race. I was alone with a comatose terrorist leader and a petty subordinate… whom I hated with all my heart. The rest of the company had retreated, and the Amegakure shinobi would soon be coming back to their village. Time for a murder?

The conclusion had just formed as another wave of nausea crashed over me. I vomited behind Kaede, retching up blood for a bit. There wasn't enough chakra left for the deed… Later, I promised myself. I'd take the next convenient opportunity.

"Deidara, help her lift that…" In my puking fit, I'd failed to notice Yasu's stealthy return. She was now glaring at me reproachfully. "If you could come over here to gawk at him, you can just as well lend a hand." There was a large tear in Yasu's mask and through it I could see a bit of her black lips. Her painted mouth was curved downwards.

"Came back, did you?" Kaede asked maliciously.

"Watch your tone with me," Yasu bit back sharply. "Now help us, Deidara." She swiftly crossed the gap between herself and Tetsuo's still form. Gripping the edge of the plate, she heaved upwards and threw the whole thick sheet into the air unaided.

I reluctantly paced over to Tetsuo and shoved a shoulder under one of his mangled arms. Kaede numbly followed suit.

"You need to fix the-" Kaede started, but was interrupted by Yasu.

"I know, I know… the scarring. Well, that'll have to wait," Yasu snapped.

"Are we leaving his Kagayakashii plates here?" Kaede's eyes flickered towards the discarded shields laying here and there on the battlefield.

"Yes… The summoning scroll isn't here to return them. There's no time…" said Yasu.

"He's not going to be happy."

"Save your words…" And I knew what the rest of Yasu's sentence implied.

_For if he survives._

_

* * *

_**AN:**

Suiton: Suiso Tojikomeru no Jutsu – Water Release: Hydrogen Confine Technique

Kyokutan Koritsu no Jutsu – Extreme Isolation Technique

Go Senko Kieru no Jutsu – Five Flash Fade Technique

Kagayakashii – Glorious

Yep, this was the intended dénouement (in my mind) for the massive chapter that included this one and the last two… whoops! Oh, and about Tetsuo's techniques… I wrote this chapter a long time ago… and I'm regretting how long I took to get it out… because now it looks like I'm copying Sasuke's jutsu from Chapter 391. (CURSE YOU, SASUKE!) But I'm not… My brother, **The Great Viking**, and I collaborated to create all of the jutsu in this chapter. (Though, I still doubt their originality.)

Okay… can't think of anything else to mention, besides that I was half asleep when editing this and on autopilot when writing. (Tsk, tsk…) Thank you for all of your support, reviews, favs, and alerts! I sincerely hope you're enjoying this.

I always have plans! Muhahaha…


	23. Requiem

**Requiem**

_Suzume-chan stood across from me, panting and doubled over from exertion. I was running directly towards her, then I turned, rounding the corner of the arena. Each of my steps fell heavily, and I could feel my joints buckle under my weight and the stress of the stony floor I treaded on._

"What's this, Tsuchimaru-san? Why have you stopped?" _Sensei barked._

_Suzume-chan stood up a little straighter, but could barely choke out her excuse._ "I… can't… keep going…" _she gasped._ "I just… need a break…"

"You've only done 243 of the 300 laps I assigned. Sakiyama-san, Hayashi-san, and Tanto-san are already finished. Do you think that on a real shinobi mission you can just take a break? If you can't keep up, you die. Now get going again," _our teacher said coldly._

_The bright, unnatural lights overhead flickered erratically as I passed under their domain. From the corner of my eye, I saw Suzume-chan start jogging again before s__he broke into a full out sprint. Her long, red hair streamed out behind her like a shining banner. I could hardly hear her slapping footfalls over my own laboured breathing._

"Why didn't you wait for me?" _Suzume-chan's voice came from behind me. She approached my side, slowing to keep with my even pace._

"Well… what Sensei said was true,"_ I admitted quietly, wishing I could pull ahead of her._ "I mean, I need to raise my marks in taijutsu anyway… so I had to keep going, hmm?"

_Her face scrunched up._ "That's… just junk, okay? If you really are a true shinobi, then you're good enough to cover each others' backs, even if someone gets hurt, or falls behind."

"You sound as though you're trying to get at something like… we should protect the weak.

"You shouldn't be a shinobi if you can't take care of yourself," _I said blandly._

"Oh, whatever, Deidara-kun… You don't get it, do you?"

"I'm just speaking the truth."

"I think you're just repeating what you were told."

_I gave Suzume-cha__n an irritable look._ "I am not parroting our instructors. This is the brutal reality of it, and no amount of sentimentality is going to change it. If you fall behind, then you are responsible," _I spoke with an air of finality._

"Well… these are just stupid laps…" _she spat._ "And when are we gonna be running laps in real life or on missions?"

"Yeah," _I nodded dully._ "Well, it's for raising our stamina… I also hate running laps, but like I said, I do need to raise my marks… or I'll fail my taijutsu practical."

_There was silence for a few more minutes, broken only by our puffing and pounding feet.__ Suzume-chan started to wheeze again as she loped beside me._

_I finally slowed down and began to walk quickly around the inside of the arena, breaking away from Suzume-chan and joining the increasing number of academy students milling around outside the great rectangle._

_She looked at me questioningly, coughing._

"I'm done," _I answered her glance. Her expression turned hard, and she continued running, averting her gaze from mine._

"I'm not going anywhere…" _I said quietly, but she didn't hear… or listen._

**.x.X.X.x.**

"Hey… I just remembered that we're gonna graduate real soon…" _Suzume-chan's voice broke through the crisp silence of a winter night._

_I stared up at the gleaming stars before answering her slowly. They looked like tiny, distant, glimmering fireworks._

"Yeah, we are, hmm," _I said apathetically. Suzume-chan rolled over slightly on the domed roof, scrutinizing me._

"Is there anything that gets you excited?" _she asked quite seriously._

_I glared at the blackness overh__ead, feeling the subtle, rough texture of the rock building dig into my spine._

"Yeah… there're a few things…" _I said darkly._ "But they're stuff that most people don't understand."

_I could feel the tension in the air build._ "Please don't judge my comprehension just like that,"_ Suzume-chan said tersely. I could tell that she was getting angry._

"It's nothing personal…"_ I sighed. _"Who can truly understand art anyway? It's something open to so much interpretation and it does seem that each person sees it differently, hmm." _I turned my head a little bit to look at her._ "I suppose I feel… very empty. There's nothing for me to get worked up about yet. I love art- that I know. But something's missing… there's something I just haven't grasped yet… I need to find _my_ art. Until I do, there's not a lot that can interest me. It's like there's a special place that's reserved in my heart, and when it's filled up, I'll truly begin to live."

_Suzume-chan grunted in acknowledgment. I wasn't sure what was racing through her mind at that point. She hugged herself, rubbing her bare arms to try to regain some warmth in them._

"You know… I wish I could say that for myself," _she said slowly._ "Not the emptiness, I mean… but having some sort of feeling of purpose, and a final belonging that ultimately will take you somewhere. It probably seems really immature and stupid to you when I get excited over every little thing… But I guess that I find everything so fresh and wonderful… or so horrible and disgusting that I can't contain my emotions. My soul is beginning to feel like some kind of salve… being distributed everywhere, trying to heal every problem.

"I want to have that one thing that you'll get someday… I know you'll get it, too. You can't live your whole life so passively. I can tell that there is so much more to you inside then you let on," _she swallowed._ "That's why I sometimes feel really dumb when I'm around you… you remind me that I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve… And that's the only time I feel… I mean, know, that I am exposed."

_I frowned over at her._ "You know… people are different like that. Taking life the way you do is much healthier than the way I'm going about it." _I grinned. _"Someday… I won't be able to contain it either, and then… I'll just explode."

_Suzume-chan laughed quietly,_ "I hope that you won't forget about me when you do find that passion."

**I'll just explode.**

**I'll just explode.**

**I'll just explode.**

_Don't forget about me._

**.x.X.X.x.**

I opened my cerulean eyes to stare into my cupped hands. My palm-mouths stuck their tongues out, waggling them around as though mocking me. I sat numbly, with my knees up against my chest, and my arms propped on my thighs. My back was tucked into the corner between a battered satchel and the cold, steel wall of another warehouse… and another time.

It had been a week since Tetsuo's disorganised disaster had unfolded. He was still bedridden and unresponsive. Yasu had assumed the role of Madam-Dictator in his absence (well, that's what I called her) and had led all the ragtag terrorists to a new location situated among the Land of Grass' rolling hills and dense forests. I hated the place; it reminded me of Zetsu… and what he had told me… I had wanted to forget that with all my heart.

But some things still refused to die… some recollections sputtered like a flame on a wick, almost gone, but still burning incessantly.

The memories of my past life still clung to me like rust that hadn't yet been polished off with a good dose of fire. I didn't want them to continue dredging up guilt, yet I didn't want to betray_ her_ wishes.

Such feelings of _remorse_ didn't reach my conscious mind easily. They were always locked away and discarded before they could take root and flourish. I truly had cleansed my inner self of almost all that I had once cherished. Like some all-consuming drug or addiction, the 'BANG' had shuffled all my values and interests into a different order, sending some of my former self so far back in the line of importance… that I couldn't even see it anymore.

But there was art. If there was anything left to cling to, it was the fact that there was nothing to hold on to; that everything was unstable and changing. I knew that was how I'd spend my entire life, and that I'd always find comfort in turmoil. I'd never settle down.

Unable to sit idle for one more moment, I got to my feet, my joints protesting loudly.

I exited my small, boring room, tightening the scarlet belt on my new green and white kimono. I figured it was about time to get another shot of the antidote Yasu had made to the poison the Amegakure kunoichi had implanted in me. I could always tell when the venom was making a comeback; the mouth in my chest would awaken quite violently. And now its restless stirring had drawn me out of my trance.

Yasu had said, somewhat haughtily, that the poison Chiharu had used on me seemed to retain an independent will, and would continue to come back unless treated for several weeks with a countering poison that held her own chakra signature. So every time I felt the pain return, I'd get another measure of Yasu's remedy… which wasn't a walk in the park, either.

I ambled down the polished corridors of steel, watching my reflection pass over the riveted panels. I looked quite a good deal older than I had before leaving Iwagakure. I certainly wasn't the young, reasonable academy student who had once debated with that stunning, independent girl.

I had killed again, and again, and again… Taking life was second nature now.

I grinned at my image, and it leered back at me. My wild eyes were almost entirely hidden now behind my thick, tangled hair. My headband was still missing, and I had lost Kaede's Sand hitai-ate a long time ago. There was nothing to keep the long, matted locks under control, just the natural part of my hair that allowed my right eye to observe the world through its cynical gaze.

"Get out of the way!" Someone shoved past me aggressively. I had been drifting out into the middle of the hall when a group of ragged medics came stumbling out of the room at the end of the corridor. I watched the one who had rammed into me, giving his retreating back an icy glower. I was sure that I recognized him from before…

Loud curses and obscenities drifted from behind the mighty door ahead. It sounded like Kaede and Yasu were at it again…

"Hold the probe there… not in that place, baka!"

"If you hadn't scared off your little groupies, then you wouldn't be in this position, would you?"

"Let go of his hand… you have no respect. Stop disturbing the skin grafts!"

WHAM!

The thick door burst open and Kaede stormed out of the chambers within, her hair a seething mass about her slender shoulders. She passed me with hardly a glance. I shook my head, allowing my dirty bangs to fall over my exposed eye. I smiled beneath their cover, rejoicing in the dilemma unfolding for the terrorists. Having Tetsuo in such a vulnerable position just after his leadership brought the demise of over half the company put his authority in a very delicate position, indeed. Everything was falling to pieces around me and I didn't mind it in the least.

I trailed through the still open port into a sinister room that shone with medical monitors and equipment. There were dangerous looking instruments hung up all over the walls and furniture. The place gave the impression of having been a dining room that became a lab. Some of the putrid green upholstery brought back horrible memories of lunch with Tetsuo.

And there he was… the man himself. Tetsuo lay prone on a dull, metal slab coated in chakra retaining plastic. Wires were entwined beneath the skin that was visible; the rest of him was covered in pasty gauze. All I could see of his face was his mouth, curved into a charred frown.

Despite all the precautions, Yasu never seemed to mind my presence for short periods of time. There was clearly a lack of hygiene control if I was allowed in the same room as someone missing nearly all of their skin.

Without acknowledging me, Yasu began to rummage in one of the drawers behind a sickly green counter that looked as though it had once housed forks and knives. She extracted a long, thin syringe and removed its protective wrapping. Moving across the room, she took a vile off the shelf and poked the needle through its cap. She drew the liquid up the needle and held it away from herself, squirting some of the poison onto the floor. Yasu then slashed her own thumb with a small scalpel and strode towards me.

"Sit," she commanded, kicking a chair at me. I plopped down, trying to relax.

Scowling beneath her mask, Yasu undid the front of my kimono just enough to expose the chest-mouth. It bared its teeth in response to the sudden cold, shifting restlessly. I narrowed my eyes, fighting to subdue it. My heart was picking up its tempo, matching the agitated mouth's unease.

Yasu plunged the needle between my ribs, just above the strange symbols adorning the mouth. I shuddered as the icy liquid forced its way into my heart. It took her a long time to inject it all and take the stinging spike away.

Yasu quickly put her bleeding finger to the rim of the mouth and withdrew it, leaving a smear of blood behind. The chest-mouth eagerly lapped it up, then went still.

"Feh… the only time that thing is useful," Yasu commented dryly. "It certainly makes administering the antidote much more effective. You won't need my chakra or poison again. You're useless if you don't recover after all this treatment already." Yasu healed the small cut on her thumb with a burst of green energy.

"Get out of here, already…" she said quietly. Her dark bangs shadowed her lustreless eyes.

"Tetsuo hasn't responded yet?" I asked, pretending not to hear her.

"No, he's still in a coma. And he ought to stay that way until I finish regenerating the lost and damaged neurons he fried… and when the donor's skin adheres." By 'donor', I knew she was referring to a badly injured subordinate that Kaede had murdered in order to steal skin for Tetsuo.

"When do you think he'll wake up?" I questioned.

"Go away," Yasu snapped. "Go train somewhere... get your blood flowing. Things will happen when they choose to."

I rolled my eyes. _Oh, they certainly will…_

The door quaked on its hinges again as I left.

Feeling thoroughly bored, I meandered back out into the hallway. The flimsy flip-flops clinging to my feet slapped quietly against the light tiles.

I passed my room near the makeshift infirmary, continuing on to an abrupt bend in the corridor. I turned left into a small tunnel lit with dim halogen bulbs. Upon reaching the end of the passageway, I was faced with a tall door made of tough mesh. Making a lazy decision, I chose to go up the winding staircase tucked away to my right.

I climbed the steps slowly now, hardly making a sound. I had not wanted to enter the arena through a participants' gate.

My toes drifted over the last ledge and I found myself standing behind a cluster of folding chairs on a balcony overlooking the huge, plated dome of a room.

I had hardly had a moment to wonder why someone would set up a viewing box for watching training, when a sharp "clang" caused me to involuntarily duck down amongst the seats. Feeling slightly irked, I crawled between the chairs' legs and over to a banister hardly higher than three feet.

Peering between the rigid steel bars, I was able to see a solitary figure poised almost exactly in the center of the arena. Even with her back to me, I recognized the dark coveralls, lank mousy hair… and my stolen forehead protector.

Kaede was crouched on one leg, her other knee raised up to her chest. Her arms were wrapped tightly around her lithe form, almost as though comforting herself.

Kaede lifted her head slowly, tilting it so far back that I could see her closed eyelids… then in a graceful sweeping motion, she released herself and spread her arms apart to unleash fistfuls of grit into the air. Kaede's arms remained extended, but her fingers moved into one-handed seals. The sand flying through the air shot along on currents of wind and weapons materialized from the grains. Seven sandy knives planted themselves within the dead center of seven already punctured targets. The new weapons had driven cleanly through the last perfectly aimed assault, leaving sand pouring from the targets' wounds, like desiccated blood.

Kaede straightened herself, gazing all around at the goals she had nailed.

I watched her impassively for a moment before the gears in my mind started turning. I began to move.

When I was sure I had situated myself in Kaede's blind spot, I got to my feet again and slowly sat in one of the flimsy chairs. I watched Kaede take out a few more rounds on the practice target before she summoned a long sack stuffed with steel wool and promptly proceeded to kick the crap out of it.

I leaned over the railing.

"You certainly have an interesting jutsu," I said conversationally, my voice echoing obnoxiously off the walls. Kaede paused, letting her hooded eyes wander up to me. She looked somewhat upset and bemused.

"I couldn't have imagined what dirt would accomplish," I drawled.

"Look who's talking," Kaede shot back. "You use mud and try to pass it off as art, whatever that is. I can do more than just play in a sandbox." Her words had come out more bitterly then she seemed to intend, because her tone grew lighter afterward.

I shrugged off her slight on my art. She wasn't even on the same level of thinking as me.

"All of Sunagakure can do nothing compared to the Kazekage's brat. He knows things about sand that no one else does… The last time I saw him was…" she broke off, her eyes unfocussed. I didn't bother interrogating her on the matter- it was all small talk. I was subconsciously setting up a plan.

Stretching ostentatiously, I threw myself over the banister, landing in a crouch some feet from Kaede. I sauntered over to the sack she had been attacking, making a point to stay away from her. She disgusted me.

I touched the back of my hand to the canvas-like bag, feeling the steel wool prick my skin through it.

"You know what we did in Iwagakure?" I asked her, taking my hand away in a conceited motion. She stared past me, her eyes glazed. There was obviously something that had been bothering her before my arrival, and I was pretty sure what it was.

I raised my eyebrows. "We practiced taijutsu against the _rocks_. We had to break them all, every last one of them in the great training grounds after a windstorm… with no ninjutsu. Ha, well… there were a scarce few of us who even knew how to use ninjutsu at that age.

"There were hundreds and hundreds of rocks… and we smashed them all, day after day until our knuckles broke and our heels could no longer bear our weight." I chuckled darkly. "That was my first training post, hmm."

Kaede blinked. She hesitated for a moment, then seemed to regain some of her bearing.

"What do you take me for?" she asked harshly. All of her honeyed tones had evaporated. "I hail from Sunagakure no Sato- I was raised at the mercy of the desert and on the pinnacle of cruelty!" her voice broke.

I breathed a long, dramatic sigh.

"If that is so… then why are you still wearing my hitai-ate?" I asked sweetly.

She ignored me.

"I'm sooo sure that bashing boulders around was a hardship," Kaede intoned sarcastically.

"You still haven't answered my question, hmm."

"That's it… I don't have time for this!" Kaede shouted suddenly, breaking the easy conversation. She hadn't made direct eye contact, not once during our exchange.

My hear beat faster, but the chest-mouth was still silent; thoroughly drugged.

_It was perfect… the perfect moment… No. There wasn't an escape plan yet… It was happening too fast._

Kaede strode away from me, heading for the main doors. The sound of her footfalls was magnified in the panelled steel dome. She was going to check on Tetsuo… I knew it…

I bent my knees, crouching on the tips of my toes. My hands delved into my clay pouch, gobbling up the restocked clay. My fingers lovingly caressed and squeezed the thick, cold material.

I lunged at her.

The moment my feet left the floor, Kaede's shinobi instinct kicked in and she wheeled about, creating a seal just as I unleashed a storm of earthen wings. A violent gust of wind ploughed into the two birds, but they only swooped lower, unfazed. I had made them out of a heavier and denser type of compressed clay.

My left hand took Kaede's moment of confusion to dig for clay again, while my right one pulled a kunai knife out from underneath my kimono. The palm clenching the knife twisted into a seal around it.

"Katsu!" I cried when the birds tore into range.

Kaede screamed an oath and fired herself backwards off the fringe of the explosion. The kunoichi's body bent in midair, her legs coming up over her head before she landed on her hands and flipped into an upright position, facing me on the icy floor. She yanked the sleeves of her coverall back in a fluid motion, revealing bare skin up to her elbows. Her fingertips found the bottom of each of her forearms and she touched two spots above her wrists, each with a slight nudge.

"Coming out of another explosion with hardly a mark to show for it," I commented, hitting the floor about twenty feet from Kaede. I observed the tiny holes in her suit, and the superficial burns; gleaming raw welts on her pale skin. My fist tightened around the knife I gripped. "You've got to wonder when that luck will run out…"

Kaede gave the pouch where my left hand had disappeared into a bleak look. The second she took to fixate her eyes, I steered the remaining bird I had hid in its partner's smoky death into a nook… For indeed, there had been only one explosion; the ruse which beneath I could set my backup plan. I would have to wait, though… wait for Kaede's guard to lower, wait until she was distracted enough before I set my pawn in motion.

Wait for that moment of art.

Kaede's arms lashed out in a whip-like motion, throwing sand from some hidden mechanism into a current of wind she had forced into being. With a curving arc of her fingertips, Kaede made the air thrash in sudden pulses, then spin in a circle. A twister spawned from the vortex, and within it, lances of condensed sand formed. Almost faster than I could blink, Kaede's hand shot down to her belt and unsheathed the wicked, hooked knife I has seen plunge through my best friend's chest.

_Calm… calmly…_

I exhaled slowly, feeling the festering pit within my gut begin to boil.

In a practiced motion, Kaede threw the deadly instrument high above her head and started forming a sequence of several complicated seals.

My left palm-mouth had finally finished its work. I lifted my hand to eyelevel, watching the clay snake slip out of the mouth's gaping orifice. The serpent reared upright, coiling around my wrist. Eyeballing the velocity and trajectory at which Kaede's blade fell, I hurled my kunai knife at it. The tip of my knife scraped along the edge of Kaede's before it threw it off course, sending it clattering to the floor.

Seemingly unconcerned, Kaede finished signing and redirected her energy towards the tunnel of wind she had created.

I narrowed my eyes as I studied its approach. The twister seemed to be getting bigger… and the weapons within it were warping into different forms…

And then it hit me.

Faces. I could see faces within the tempest of sand. Gritty, distorted faces writhing in disembodied pain. Some of the visages looked more beast than human… and others were strangely familiar.

A shot of adrenaline ran down my spine as I honed in on one misshapen face. My brow furrowed as I watched the silently screaming countenance thrash about, its long, rusty hair dissolving into the streams of dust.

"Who's screwing with me?" I yelled hoarsely into the vortex's consuming depths.

Kaede had disappeared…

The monstrous creation scrutinized me with its many blank eyes. Voices suddenly filled my head, reverberating off the walls of my skull.

_You didn't have the bravery to claim what was yours._

_He stole your pride, and gave his respect to no one._

_You never amounted to what your parents were and you can never rise to their level. You are a disappointment._

_You're weak. You couldn't save a soul._

_What a follower… you let them tame you._

_I hate you. You left me to die._

_You killed me._

_It's too late._

_Deluded._

_Ignorant._

_SELFISH._

Did nothing belong to me anymore? My tools of art- my hands… were those not my own? Was my body no longer a safe place to reside? Did I have no sanctuary within my mind? Was I ever by myself?! That was all I wanted; to be alone and… to burn those feelings! Those memories, those anchors weighing me down… I was now willing to do anything… to tie the past to a bomb and fly it far from me before I destroyed it… forever. There was no going back; that was the truth of transient.

My head had ended up in my hand without my knowing so. Slowly, I lifted it, feeling strands of hair catch in the free palm-mouth's gnashing teeth.

A wide, arrogant grin began to spread across my face. It seemed like I was smiling from the inside out.

The worst thing had been the indecision, the uncertainty as to what path I should take next. But it didn't matter now. I didn't care. I was going to obliterate all that remained in the physical world to remind me of what had transpired.

I sent a burst of chakra straight to my brain, and the voices chiding me about my shortcomings shattered, dispersing in fragments of skewed energy. The demented, livid faces looming over me faded with the genjutsu I had broken. There was now only a wind tunnel and Kaede standing behind it, panting.

"I guess I'll never know how you got to presume so much about me," I remarked, leering at Kaede. The snake on my arm weaved its head impatiently. "I guess I'll never understand those petty feelings again."

Kaede gritted her teeth, fury flashing in her eyes. Her fingers slipped into seals, and I finally noticed the formidable weapon that had been materializing within the twister during my hindrance.

My smirk shattered in an instant. "Who do you think you're dealing with here?!" I screeched. The earthen serpent wrapped around my outstretched limb shot onto the floor and slithered fluidly towards the cage of wind.

"C3."

I coolly analyzed the positioning of my snake before I established control again over the bird I had created at the beginning of the fight. I steered it through Kaede's blind spot and brought it just close enough to the vortex's base before…

"Katsu!"

BANG!

While I revelled in my art's death, I forced the snake to tunnel below the weakened flooring. Kaede didn't realize that this was the second time I was hiding an explosive with an explosion.

She was angered by my apparent attempt to destroy her developing weapon. With a command from her fingertips, the twister untangled itself and swept the massive nunchaku she had been forming straight into her hands. The abrupt movement of air disturbed some of the soot and by-products of the bird's explosion. The dirt covered the hole my serpent had made.

I blinked a few times, my eyes rolling up into the back of my head with every bat of my dark lashes. The urge to detonate the bomb, which I knew was rapidly reproducing underneath the tiles… so near to Kaede… was almost irresistible.

No… I had to finish her like art.

Kaede leapt towards me, dodging from side to side and moving her feet in deceptive patterns. I jumped forward to counter her movements with another kunai knife. Kaede whipped her creation about with a practiced hand. A side of the nunchaku erupted beside my left ear as she continued her incensed fighting. Bending at the waist, I lodged the knife I was holding into Kaede's sand weapon and hopped away. My hands met in a seal.

"Katsu!" The discreetly hidden explosive tag on the blade's handle went off a few milliseconds after Kaede had discarded the nunchaku.

She turned tail and pelted back a few metres, bringing a gleaming object up from the floor. I tagged a few shuriken, preparing myself for the next step.

"We both want this over with, right?" Kaede said breathlessly. The bloodthirsty inflection we both used so often had re-entered her words. "I told you that I could do more than play with sand.

"I suppose you remember her?" Kaede brought the dagger she had retrieved higher into the light. "This is Susumu-Takara. As most good weapons do, she too has a name. Susumu-Takara has helped me defeat many a foe. What'll make you any different from the hundreds of other nameless faces I've destroyed?"

"I have a name to you, do I not?" I queried tauntingly.

Kaede toyed listlessly with the knife in her hands, running her slender fingers up and down its black hilt and along the edge of its hooked blade. She paused over the jagged mark my initial kunai attack had made.

"I knew what you were going to do from the start. I always knew where your allegiances lay." Kaede shook her head slowly. "But I could never stop myself from playing with my prey." The corners of her mouth stretched. "Your determination was admirable, even after we picked you up, half dead; you still tried to kill me. Your motives are purely egocentric now, still I can't help but marvel at your amazing resolve. You see… I was never in love with you. You're a self-centered, traitorous brat who I knew would betray us. I am solely in love with your power."

Kaede's muscular body fell into a fighting stance. She wrapped her fingers around the knife, putting her other palm against the butt of the pommel.

"You're using me to feed your interests, to help progress your treasure's death toll. That's Susumu-Takara's name, after all." I stated. "It's time you repaid me, hmm. I am an artist… I must constantly seek new heights and enlightenment; I need inspiration."

"If that's all it takes, then we can both be artists," Kaede whispered.

I launched the shuriken I had been holding at her, bringing them in to their target on an angle. Susumu-Takara moved like a bolt of lightning in Kaede's hands. It deflected all of the throwing stars just before they exploded, blocking the shrapnel raining down with another swift slice of the air.

Kaede was suddenly in my face again. She slashed at me with her blade, cutting a sizable chunk of hair from my bangs as I ducked to avoid her attack. My foot came up and caught her in the stomach, throwing her back a pace. I had just a moment to get one of my own flimsy kunai knives out before Kaede was back on the assault.

I countered another rapid blow with my weapon. Kaede moved Susumu-Takara in an arc, allowing my blade to scrape down its hilt. We stood crouched at close quarters, our arms entwined in a deadly embrace. Each of us used both hands to hold our knives. My hitai-ate glinted in front of my eyes, still tied around Kaede's sweaty forehead. The pungent tang of her scent filled my nostrils.

"You lost my headband, eh?" Kaede managed to choke out, her face very close to mine. She must have just noticed her Suna headband's absence.

"You still owe me my own!" I screamed.

I pushed harder against her, smashing my head into the front of the plate guarding her brow. She cried out, but held fast, not moving at inch.

The hitai-ate sitting over Kaede's eyebrows had been knocked askew. The knot binding my headband was coming undone, and the forehead protector was slipping downwards. For one moment of panic, it was obscuring her vision.

The double rock insignia fell loosely around Kaede's neck, coming to rest above her collarbone.

She glared at me, her hold tightening on Susumu-Takara. I furrowed my brow, concentrating.

Before she could react, I released my hold on the kunai knife and caught Kaede's wrists as they came carrying a delayed blow from Susumu-Takara. I clenched my wiry fingers down over her skin, boosting their power with extra chakra, listening to the crack of bone beneath their grasp. My palm mouths bit into her, tasting metallic blood. An angry shout broke from Kaede's lips as her weapon clattered to the floor from her slackened grip.

She grunted in pain, "_Shakuho!_"

A horrible ripping noise tore through the muffled sounds of heavy breathing and cartilage creaking. Blood hit my face as the bottom of Kaede's arms split into long red lines. A pair of dark, red, steel pipes had sprouted from her forearms. I stared at them in shock before sand burst from the tubes, hitting me in the eyes and causing me to flinch back. Kaede pulled away from me as I lost my focus, her progress slicked by the blood.

Desperately trying to keep the upper hand, I reached out for anything I could grab in order to stop Kaede from retrieving her weapon. My fingers closed around something hard and rectangular. My hitai-ate.

My eyes opened fully, catching her malicious gaze in slow-motion, the exact position of her body, how close she was… Grains of sand fell from the corners of my eyes like tears.

I yanked Kaede towards me by the headband, then I threw my own momentum into hers, slamming one of the sharp metal corners straight into her jugular vein.

Kaede's neck spewed blood from the gaping wound I had created. The hitai-ate came off in my palm as she staggered backwards, trying to stem the flow of crimson fluid with broken hands. Her mouth moved, but the only sound that escaped her throat was a congealed gurgling. She collapsed to her knees in front of me, making clutching motions towards her fallen knife.

I backed off, holding my retrieved headband close to me. My brain could still feel the threads attaching me to the bomb that had multiplied beneath my feet.

I knew I was far enough away. Close enough to feel the flames, but not to be destroyed.

I held my bloody hand in front of me, gazing at it calmly. My fingers formed an earth seal.

I had won.

My art had won.

"Katsu!"

Kaede's distraught expression was the last I ever saw of her before the ground beneath her exploded and she disintegrated in a wave of fire.

BANG!

I couldn't remember what colour her eyes were. I couldn't even recall the hue of Suzume's eyes. Who had these people been to me?

All I saw was red.

I laughed.

* * *

**AN:**

Susumu-Takara – Progressing Treasure

Shakuho – to release (as in a prisoner)

Yasu has the talent to alter a donor's skin cells in order to have them be accepted by the recipient. I think that's pretty cool…

Sorry for the wait. Real life happened. Ahahaha… I don't like real life…

Thank you for all of your reviews and support! Huge thanks to greenteamoose, XxHunter The One and OnlyxX, and ShadowSight101 for the feedback!

See you next time!

And don't forget… Marth will be the king of the Super Smash Brothers world, so don't you dare take out your training on him!


	24. Derision's Sake

**Derision's Sake**

The heat and light scorched my skin in powerful waves, blowing my hair back in matted, bloody chunks. I welcomed the pain as it coursed up my body. The intense brightness of the explosion gave way to a dark cloud of acerbic smoke that hovered around me, heralding the scent of burning hair and flesh.

I walked through the darkness, shaking from exertion and the rush of adrenaline. I slipped slightly in a filmy pool of scarlet, kicking a solid, meaty thing aside with my foot. The haze parted and I saw that I had happened upon an arm, complete with metal rigging still attached to its bone.

"Deidara?!" I whirled around, ready for a fight again. My fingers reached out, seeking clay.

The silhouette of a muscular body shivered behind the rippling screen. Yasu came charging out of the smoke, a set of pre-bloodied scalpels pinched between her fingers. Her clothing was stained crimson, and her hair was plastered to her cheeks with sweat.

"You couldn't have waited one more day! This is not what I meant by 'get your blood flowing'!" she shrieked, losing her calm in a split second.

I stared at her, confounded. Why wasn't she attacking me? I had just killed a comrade… just killed Tetsuo's favourite. Tetsuo… the one laying prone on a table not too far away. The one laying defenseless.

"You couldn't have waited to kill the hag…" I backed away warily, watching Yasu mutter to herself. Her eyes slid back and forth underneath her mascara lashes. She seemed unable to drink in enough of the gore. Her gaze suddenly snapped up. She trained her sight on my bruised face and the hitai-ate clutched to my heart.

"What are you waiting for?" she asked urgently, her eyes widening. "This is your chance. You can leave now; I killed him."

"You killed… _him_?" I repeated slowly, hardly believing my ears. I knew she was coldhearted, but disloyal…?

"Tetsuo's dead. This is it… there will be no more straying from the cause, no more of these flippant fancies he took to individuals. He was a weak leader and he strayed from the path.

"Antinationalism will finally be represented with dignity and unity again. I am the way of discipline! The uprising is **my** tide of change. And you were nothing more than one of _his_ whimsical hopes. I have no need for your errant ways and twisted beliefs. You won't be able to find us again. You are free to go."

"I was never bound!" I yelled hoarsely. "I chose, hmm!" I brandished my Iwagakure headband, looking deranged.

Yasu observed me coolly. "I'm sure you did," she said, glaring at the hitai-ate.

Rage boiled up inside of me. Too many feelings were flooding my mind… I couldn't take in all the sensations I was experiencing. I was furious, triumphant, proud, and filled with an overwhelming power I could feel inside my very soul. I had created true art and I was the victor. By my skill… my ideals, my beliefs- they had won.

Strands of my tarnished hair drifted past my eyes, riding the warm currents filling the room's expanse. The light from the massive explosion was still burned into my retinas. The smoke was only the waking remainder of my dream. The undulating plumes and wavering scents told my senses the tale of my triumph. The dregs of my chakra wove through the air, gently following the ripples of heat… straight into oblivion.

And of Kaede… there was nothing. There wasn't even darkness. Only physical remnants laying in bloody pools betrayed the fact that such a twisted being had once walked the earth.

"Go. Leave." Yasu's stoic voice brought me out of my reverie.

I stared at her blankly, gritting my teeth. My hands, as though to counter the expression that had crept onto my face, relaxed and swung at my sides; free of clay.

"Well… hmm…" I muttered, rubbing my right temple. I turned away from Yasu, splashing a little more of the congealed blood onto my pants.

"If you send anyone after me… I'll kill them. Don't keep track of me." I waved an arm in an abrasive fashion. My eyelids twitched slightly as I ambled towards the participants' exit.

I pushed the mesh doors aside to be greeted by a blast of cool air that chilled my sweat-drenched kimono. I hated the cold… I loathed it. Leaving the 'BANG's work was like tearing off a bandage… it had to be quick and clean.

My eyes slid downwards to stare at the ground moving swiftly beneath my toes. The pristine tiles flashing below me shone in their unfriendly cleanliness. I was about to look up again and orient myself when the floor abruptly lost its spotless glimmer.

The next few feet of tiles were blemished with a certain mottled red hue I had grown all too familiar with in my career as a shinobi. I raised my head, pivoting it to gaze at the bend in the corridor where the trail disappeared down. Straight ahead of me, I saw the door guarding Tetsuo's infirmary hanging off one of its hinges at a crooked angle. The drag marks started from its broken entrance.

I stared at the revolting smear, weighing my options. I knew the nearest exit was right down the same branch in the hall that the blood forked off into. I blinked.

I found my feet moving without any conscious decision on my part. I walked over the streak of blood, not bothering to spare myself from any less contamination. As I rounded the corner, a slight prickling sensation erupted along the back of my neck. I rested a hand atop my clay pouch, rubbing the jagged teeth of the zipper with a cautious finger. My escape was clearly within sight. All I had to do was take a few more paces… walk under the dark steel arch, and push those double doors aside.

I halted a couple of meters away from the looming curve over my head, attempting to peer around the shadowy corners. I took a breath and held it in my chest, clenching my fists as I caught sight of the body leaning against the wall behind the arch's base. The corpse-like shape staggered forward, tipping under the lights' glare. I saw a figure cloaked with the horror of a nightmare, wrapped in blood-soaked bandages, white cloth soiled with puss flowing in filthy folds.

A single bloodshot eye, tinged in yellow fixed me within its intense, lidless gaze. A pair of bony fingers reached up with agonizing difficulty, peeling aside some of the gauze to reveal a thin, raw line for a mouth.

The man took a harsh intake of air. A rattling sound reverberated deep in his throat. I finally noticed the scalpel sticking out of his windpipe, jutting from the bandages like a malignant growth.

Tetsuo raised his two ravaged digits, forming a seal. I sped backwards just as a surge of electricity flashed across the archway, turning the steel black under its energy. A metallic stink added itself to the reek of rotting flesh.

"Ha ha ha… right on, you little punk," Tetsuo's laugh came out as a scratchy wheezing sound. His knees began to tremble violently. I eyed the darkening stains soaked into the front of his wrappings. My pupils contracted drastically.

"I killed her, hmm," I stated blankly, seeking a reaction from the half-dead man swaying before me.

Tetsuo raised his eyes to the ceiling, focusing his gaze somewhere past the roof.

"I thought so," he said quietly. A smile touched his scarred lips and his eye rolled into the back of his head. Tetsuo's body crumpled and slid to the floor. His skull hit the tiles with a dense thud.

I stared at the terrorists' fallen leader. Had he not heard me correctly? Why was this… this inferior mind so unconcerned by what I had done to his favourite subordinate?

In my frustration I threw a kunai knife at the wall above Tetsuo's corpse. A zing of electricity glinted across the frame; a last attempt at taking my life. Had that infuriating man dragged his disgusting carcass all the way to the exit just to mock me before he died? He wasn't cognizant… how could he have known that Yasu had directed me to Kaede? How could that last residue of life remaining in his battered body have gone unnoticed by his would-be assassin?

I strode past Tetsuo's cadaver, deciding to give it no more notice. I was almost out now… almost gone. No longer would I have to contend with the ridiculous ties and convoluted alliances that threaded themselves within this antinationalist group.

My fingertips found the thick doors' levers. I thrust my weight into the steel, plunging through the exit into a chilly, starless night.

My breath condensed in the stillness, then disappeared.

**.x.X.X.x.**

The next few weeks blurred into months. I was detached from time; apart from the world. My body drifted from place to place while my heart dwelled constantly on art and what it was. There was nothing to sate my appetite, nothing to peak my interest during this itinerant phase. I'd spent hours with my back against some dingy wall in the slums, trying to discover art's true purpose, experimenting with my clay. I took any and every opportunity I could to exercise the power of art. But even that was wearing… Alone, I could only spill so much of imagination's paints before someone else slipped in them and called the authorities. I was chased by ANBU, nin-hunters, and mercenaries alike. Ah, and how they fueled my pride as I wiped them off the canvas of life.

Sometimes I saw my face gazing back at me amongst the many other rogue shinobi splattered across the wanted posters near the Land of Earth. But that no longer bothered me.

However, there came a time when I couldn't run anymore. I suppose… that like a starving dog returns to its vomit, so I too went back to standing in the shadows of more prominent men and women. My hunger took me back. If they could give me what I wanted… if they could hand me my inspiration and take the scorn dealt out by lesser minds, then I'd stick around. I was not being forced to stay and my growing reputation secured me a sure place amongst the next terrorist cell.

**.x.X.X.x.**

My palms swept subtly over a lump of clay in my lap, forming it to perfection. Powerful winds grabbed my loose hair, flailing it about my shoulders and neck. The massive bird beneath me pitched from side to side on the current, flapping long and elegant wings. The earth, far below me, was a pit of spiked roofs and towers clawing at the sky.

I tossed my head, flipping my bangs aside and running the fingers of my free hand through them. The mask obscuring my face was uncomfortably warm and tight. It had been sculpted to fit perfectly over my features. Though… it hadn't been made to contain a grin of my proportions. It had been created to express nothing. I pried my fingers under the chin of my mask, peeling it away from my face. The breeze hit me full in the face, blowing sweat droplets out of my eyes.

I could see people in the streets now. They scurried like cockroaches under a flashlight, disappearing into their earthy dwellings. I hocked a wad of spit over the side of my stead. I had been hoping they'd stick around outside out of curiosity. Now I wouldn't be able to see their faces when they died. The expressions they could conjure up were one of the best parts of the 'BANG'.

I remembered vaguely that someone had told me not to destroy the daiymo's tower… that I was to await an order and by all means, NOT kill him.

I closed my eyes, smiling serenely. I had a conveniently bad memory… whenever it suited me. No… C3 wouldn't be overkill… not at all.

I halted the flow of chakra I had been feeding my eyes, allowing my vision to return to normal. My left hand held up the sculpture sitting snugly in my palm. I took in its pleasing curves and smooth design, enjoying my work. This version of C3 was tall and thin, with gnarled limbs that looked like branches. A trio of gaping craters formed its sightless eyes and ravenous jaws.

With a practiced hand, I tossed the clay bomb into the air, wheeling my mount around in mid-flight to circle over the launch site. My fingers slid into a seal, and C3 expanded in a cloud of steam.

I watched anxiously as the explosive spiraled to the ground. It was moving too quickly… I would have to alter the design next time, give it more resistance to the air.

"Iwa 67, what're you doing?" A man riding on a massive wave pulled up beside me, balancing on the surging water. "Our orders are to shoot down all enemy shinobi on the watchtowers and to contain the perimeter…"

Whatever else he wanted to ask me was drowned out by a low rumbling sound that had started in the village below. Funneling all of my attention on that single void C3 had disappeared into, I gazed intently on the ravaging destruction about to unfold.

A flash of intensely bright light, almost like magnesium, flared outwards, engulfing the city in its burning embrace. Arms of ravenous fire crushed the buildings under their insatiable longing for fuel. A wall of air barraged me, buffeting my bird, raising it higher from my masterpiece. The shock waves hit me one after the other as the radiance consumed all signs of life below. Like a wondrous blanket woven from the fabric of the sun, the explosion smothered the entire village.

**BANG!**

The thrilling scream of dying art reached me, resonating as music in my ears. I soared above the carnage, standing straight up on the back of my creation, my arms spread. There was nothing but me and my art.

I paid no heed to the screaming voices around me. Were they praising my works? Or perhaps… they might've been begging me to stop.

**.x.X.X.x.**

I bounced my wooden mask up and down, catching it on the tips of my fingers in a monotonous rhythm. I paused to flip the thin piece of oak right side up, examining it critically. It looked like a rotting death head, sporting long, thin slashes and burn marks that truly appeared to have been carved into flesh. Painted over the sickly pale background was a large "67" inscribed on the forehead.

The heat of the others' forge beat against the back of my head, seeming to cook my brains. My fellow terrorists were back at work again, creating katana in the age-old traditional way. This was the forth night of vigilant feeding and caring for the deep, underground fires which would be used to produce the signature steel of a katana's blade. I turned around slightly, kneeling on the stone bench and craning my neck to get a look out the window I sat against. I could feel my eyes drying out just from looking at the great furnaces. They were astounding…

"And to think… clay plays a huge part in making these forges and katana." I thought smugly. I could certainly appreciate this form of art.

"Hey, Deidara!"

My neck popped as I snapped it around. Number 33 was addressing me. I struggled to put a name to the mask… This person wasn't taking his off. It looked like goats' cheese… or maybe the moon. How was I supposed to know who he was? It was rude of him not to reveal his personal identity. Did he think I had time to waste on memorizing meaningless appearances?

"I want to have another word about what happened on the raid yesterday…" the deep voice said firmly. "Would you care to follow me into the lounge?"

"Mff…" I grunted, heaving myself to my feet. I tucked the mask I had been toying with behind my back under my scarlet belt. I found myself trailing behind the older shinobi into a room filled with battered couches and an old, boxy television screen.

I sat down across from the man, my elbows on my legs, face in my hands. He had plunked himself down and was stretching his legs luxuriously over the coffee table.

"You certainly have become quite famous…" Almost immediately after he started speaking I began to filter his words, ignoring all the small talk that would lead to the inevitable reprimanding. Instead, I focused on my recent breakthrough; the art of colour in explosives.

_It's not practical… and obviously doesn't work on such large scales as C3. Maybe if I compromise some of-_

My focus became lucid, whipping back to attention as that dreaded tone came across the other's speech. His voice had risen by an octave.

"I've been wondering, after all the hell you've put us through, if we should still hold onto you. As I was saying, you're becoming a nuisance to hide, what with all the ostentatious fighting displays we get from you on a daily basis…

"That brings me to the main reason I pulled you aside tonight," he paused, inhaling sharply. "You disobeyed a _direct_ order. Did I not strictly tell the long-range offensive assault to cease fire? Did I not forbid any harm whatsoever to come to the daimyo? Deidara…?"

I had been absentmindedly plucking at my exposed toes, lifting them up one after the other. "Hmm…" I paused for a moment, trying to buy time. "It wasn't you who told me to do _anything_. I don't know who you are, hmm."

There was silence. "I'm your captain, Deidara. Sector Four of long-range tactics… does that ring a bell?"

"I don't do names," I grumbled. "Show me your… face, and maybe I'll remember." I rolled my eyes, sitting up straighter on the sagging cushion. I could feel myself sinking farther into its comfortably beaten confines. I would have given a few firecrackers to just be able to disappear into the sofa, but that wasn't going to work out too well… I found that avoiding confrontations only made the situations worse when they caught you. The idea amused me…

"I'm afraid I can't do that. As you should know, your superiors never reveal their identities to unworthy underlings."

I crossed my arms, pulling my knees up to my chest. My eyes narrowed in contempt.

_Ungrateful sleazebag._

"How old are you?" the hateful man asked, genuinely curious.

"Old enough to have killed, young enough to continue doing so," I said coolly.

"You don't want to tell me?" the elder shinobi asked, a nuance of chagrin in his tone. He seemed content with my answer, though, as he didn't pursue the subject.

"How long have you been out of…Iwagakure?" He leaned over slightly to catch a glimpse of the hitai-ate fastened around my forehead.

I shrugged. "Months… A year, maybe?" The man stared at me through the round eyeholes of his mask. "What's the day?" I inquired forcibly.

"April the 25th," the other said, shaking his head.

"Hmm… not a year, then," I muttered.

"Listen, kid… I really don't want to lose you, but that stunt you pulled over Kingyobachigakure was just… over the top."

I was grinning internally. He didn't want to lose me. That meant I was valued and could do whatever I wanted for a while longer before I became a thorn in his side. Those words he had spoken were my ticket to liberty, and as far as I was concerned, they allowed me to bully him. He had as good as announced his vulnerability to me.

"You seem like a real zealous little guy, but you don't have any concept of boundaries."

"Hmm…" I grunted uninterestedly.

"Look at me."

"What, hmm?" I snapped irritably.

The pitch at which I'd responded earned me a sharp smack to the jaw. I resisted the urge to reach up and press my hand over the side of my face that'd been hit.

"Do you want to hear me out in this comfortable lounge, or would you rather I had you gagged and bound in the cellar to await the next time I need to take you off the shelf?"

I held still.

"I thought it might interest you to know where we're heading out for the next raid." I wanted desperately to make a smart retort. "Since this concerns your behavior, I believe you'll find it of the utmost value to pay attention.

"We're going to Iwagakure." I hardly blinked. "There's a pretty fine on your head right now, and you ought to remember that for the next time you go blowing up our hostage… and half his village."

My lips pursed together into a long, thin line.

"I don't care how old you look. You're bloodthirsty. Try to keep your compulsions in check for the future."

I had a feeling that the other man was leering at me from behind his mask. Just the way the corners of his eyes were curved… Everything about this person made me want to destroy his whole criminal family and everyone associated with them. It reawakened my insufferable pride and the feelings of captivity brought on by being a pawn for some pointless, "higher" purpose. I wouldn't regret the sacrifices I had made in order to pursue art… but my dignity only allowed me to go so far on some matters. If I was pushed farther than I ascertained my cover's worth… I'd blow it. I'd blow it all up.

"How many antinationalist groups have you put yourself under hire for? I forgot." My enemy was staring me down, a strange glint in his eyes.

"Pfft… you could hardly count the first as me being 'hired'. Please, I was practically drafted into that one." It wasn't a complete lie. "Counting that cell, though… this is the fourth terrorist organization I've been involved in. And you can bet your shiny can that I wouldn't be here right now if you didn't pay me, hmm."

_In more ways than one…_

"Ah… interesting," the shinobi said quietly. "I should wonder why this is your fourth chance." He glared at me. "And don't call them 'terrorist' organizations…" He had winced at the word during my initial explanation. I found it funny how all of these phonies were so touchy about what you called them. There hadn't been a single cell I'd worked under that had been content to acknowledge what it blatantly was.

**.x.X.X.x.**

I twisted the knob beneath the showerhead, listening to the guttural rumbling coming through the pipes behind the wall. I yelped slightly as a stream of icy water hit my back. I hadn't been expecting it to come so quickly. Shivering, I seized a bar of used soap off the counter beside me and proceeded with scrubbing away the dirt that had caked itself onto my arms and legs. I watched the salty water entwine itself with the liquid filth coming off my body as they flowed down the drain.

I rubbed the soap over the soles of my feet, keeping it poised at the tips of my fingers; just out of reach of my palm-mouths. I allowed my mind to wander as I blocked out my physical discomfort.

Thinking of going back to Iwagakure brought bile up into my throat. I knew what that man I'd spoken to was playing at. I had miscalculated at first… but after a few hours spent wandering the base in contemplation, I'd come to the conclusion that he wasn't actually going to let me walk all over him… or, at least the higher-ups wouldn't allow it. They'd know. As soon as I came to Iwagakure to do what _I _wanted, I'd be overpowered by my own ranks, and given back to the village I hated more than… more than almost anything else. He was trying to lead me to these false notions. Or maybe I was just thinking things through too much… Doing stuff like that gave me headaches; it was pointless. I'd deal with whatever came. But I wasn't going to naively dive into the situation. I was going to ease myself out of this cell on my own… I had my reasons to go back to Iwagakure for a _visit._ My clay supply was running dangerously low. I had had to compensate with a homemade compound created from my surroundings, but it just wasn't the same. The other clay almost seemed to be made for me… it retained chakra perfectly, was dense, yet light, and beautifully malleable. The next time I went back to Iwa… I'd restock and leave a memento to my dear acquaintances. I wondered if it would be more satisfying to somehow alert the villagers to the impending raid and have my entire old cell rounded up on my account… or to just blow the lot of them up.

Hunched over in the shower, the idea made the corners of my mouth stretch.

Maybe, if I was lucky, I might see a couple other old _pals_ of mine…

With a few ragged sputters, the faucet overhead choked out its last spray of translucent water before it became still. A steady dripping filled my ears. The sound seemed to bounce hollowly around the inside of my skull. It quickly lost its tempo, though, fading to a quiet and constant background noise. I unstuck the bangs plastered to my face, noticing that they smelt like… hair again. My blond mop had carried the aroma of smoke around on it for so long, that it was no longer a foreign odor. Smoke always clung to my clothing, my hair, it even sank into my pores.

I stepped out of the shower stall, snatching a towel off of one of the hooks hanging along the tiled walls and discarding my diminished piece of soap. I wrapped it around my waist, grabbing my old clothing off of a stool as I made my exit. I hugged the bundle against my chest, feeling it brush along the mouth in my chest. The great maw had been tranquil for the last few months. I wondered if it was the calm before the storm. Maybe Yasu had really screwed around with it that last time she'd administered the antidote…

I sauntered through the open, windowed mud corridors of the base, rolling my shoulders to get the kinks out of them as I walked.

I strode over to one of the katana forges, enjoying its rapturous heat. I sat a couple of yards away from it, pulling my clothes on under the dense cover of a slightly wilted bush. My mind wandered to a scenario I had experienced earlier last evening.

_They were shooting wide-eyed glances at me every time I turned my gaze back to the black and white television set. The other terrorists were very uncomfortable. I saw some of them clasping their hands and shifting nervously. One of them was fiddling with a piece of string hanging off her pants._

"…these kinds of automatic mines were first used during the Second Great Shinobi War in order to…" _A program about bombs had come on. I stared blankly at the screen, watching my fellows from my peripheral vision. Only a few people were genuinely interested. The others were searching me for some reaction._

_I shifted suddenly, crossing my legs. A middle-aged man stretched across a sofa started out of his light slumber._

_Some random guy bolted to his feet; I had been anticipating this. _"Get… OUT!"_ he yelled, his voice strained. He seemed to feel that he needed no reason for my dismissal._

"Keep it down, hmm? We're trying to enjoy a show here," _I said, flashing him a dazzling smile_. _How could he refuse me?_

"Tch! Why are you all encouraging him?!" _the shinobi questioned the room at large, his arms raised above his head, fingers kneading his scalp..._

"…the original name for the ocean mine was kept under the utmost secrecy. It has been rumored that the signature for-" _the T.V. prattled on, oblivious to the tension building in the lounge._

"Shut UP!"_ I bellowed irritably._

"You want peace? You want me to be quiet? Let's wrap this up, then!" _The instigator was brandishing big, clumsy fists in my direction. I saw one lash out at me from the corner of my eye. I jerked away from it, bending my body just out of range. My hands shot to my clay pouch. My fingers curved into tightened claws, reaching for clay that wasn't there._

_The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I never went anywhere without it… where was my clay stock?!_

_I flew from my seat, launching myself onto the back of one of the vacant sofas. I crouched atop it, my face twisting into its own ugly mask of rage._

"Don't underestimate me!"_ I screeched, drawing several kunai knives._

"Drive him out, drive him out! He'll butcher us all like he butchered the village of Kingyobachi!" _the man was prancing about like an electrocuted lamb in spring. I was going to start agreeing with his bold accusation if he didn't stop. I was more than happy to prove him right on that count._

"BREAK IT UP!" _a booming voice punctured my foe's enthusiasm faster than a deft kunai can collapse a lung_.

_A huge pair of shoulders broke through the absurd beaded curtain separating the lounge from the mess room. The newcomer had to stoop in order to stand among us. He was definitely someone with the authority to 'break it up'. His face was obscured by what appeared to be some large animal's pelvis fashioned into a mask. Parts of the bone rose above his sparse hair, twisting like hollowed out horns. I could see a pair of hard, keen eyes gazing through the round breaks in the bone's smooth curvature._

_As terribly clever and resourceful as the mask was… I couldn't help but be amused by it. I mean, he was wearing a… well, a… an animal's lower half on his face…_

"Clear out… all of you. Get a move on." _The man gestured imperiously, his movements made threatening by his sheer size. The jerk that had been harassing me left with the rest of the terrorists, his angry, flushed gaze turned away._

My clay pouch had been returned, and I remembered having eaten alone that night… well, alone except for the huge, silent man who'd shushed the rest out. He hadn't made a big stink over the Kingyobachi mission's disaster. He'd just sat there, letting me finish my program about bombs, staring at me all the while in a way that would have been unnerving to anyone but a starving artist. It was only later, I'd realized, that the other shinobi, the one with the moon mask, had come at me with all those irksome questions. And what had given _him_ the right to interrogate me, when this… clearly intimidating man hadn't? Or had pelvis-man been watching me to gather some kind of conviction?

Shutting my eyes, I attempted to focus. I might have just been over thinking the whole situation. But I couldn't afford not to… not when I had so many new enemies within the masked bandits.

It occurred to me, along with all of my other suspicions, that the moon-masked man who'd last threatened me with solitary confinement might've been one of the dissenters who wanted me dead… It would be all too easy for him to don some normal mask and go about pretending to be of a higher rank than he actually was. I wrinkled my nose disdainfully at the thought.

I was heading to a sure and steady demise. My welcome was wearing itself out and things were getting to that complicated emotional level that I'd been forced to endure during my first stay with an antinationalist organization. In all my transient years, I would never have the time to deal with that crap.

Taking my pouch and cinching my new leather belt up a few notches, I got to my knees and crept away through the bushes.

_I won't be crawling for long._

* * *

**AN:**

Kingyobachigakure - Village hidden in a fish bowl.

Yup, this was a jumpy chapter. My transitional phase had to happen. Please bear with me.

It's mosquito season here. They're eating me alive. I look back now and scoff at the times I allowed that fancy that seems to come across every insect-plagued kid at some point. Most of us allowed one of those little bloodsuckers to attach themselves to our arm… so we could _watch_ them. I did it out of pity one time (poor mosquitoes must be so hard done by). Well, if that one mosquito was getting something as good as my delicious blood, then how could I expect the others to hold off while she finished eating me? PFFT! That merciful whim was extinguished quite quickly.

Splat.

Reviews are appreciated- I know it took awhile to get this chapter out. (Procrastinator). Happy Canada Day, and happy Independence Day when that comes!


	25. Rocket to Oblivion

**Rocket to Oblivion**

My toes clipped the tips of the grassy blades as I tore through the night like an arrow. I was itching to cross the exposed expanse of lawn that had been mowed to prevent forge fires. I was painfully aware of every footstep and pounding beat of my heart. This was already a particularly active spot during the evening hours, but nonetheless, I felt as though my intentions were emanating through the air in invisible yet clearly distinct vibes.

_Escape… Escape…_

I could sense the other people lurking within the shadows. They were out and about training, preparing, making deals… I was also sure that some of them spied for the higher ups. It couldn't be possible that some sort of border control wasn't being enacted. There had to be something…

I slowed down, taking aimless strides as soon as I had reached the perimeter of the clearing. Stalks of grass higher than my head formed an imposing wall before me. The wilds of Kusagakure were not far from our camp. We were practically on the border between Takigakure and Kusagakure. The nights were warmer here than anywhere else I'd been to in awhile. I needed nothing other than my usual clothing and satchel for my escape. All of my belongings could fit inside of the near-empty clay pouch I constantly packed around.

I sighed in a nonchalant fashion, releasing my expired oxygen. It felt as though a giant rock was moving through my intestines at that moment.

"Hey, hey! Deidara, is that you?" I winced as someone called my name out of the darkness. I cursed quietly between my teeth.

"I can hear you, you know. You're such a drama queen, I could recognize that sigh anywhere." A tall, thin boy a couple years older than me materialized silently from amongst the grass. "Hahaha… I almost got stuck in there, but then I kinda saw you coming this way- and you know you're a morale booster, after all." The other laughed ecstatically. I had the feeling he was on a drug high. His pointed face was scrunched up with amusement, and his greasy black braid was escaping everywhere in unruly tufts. His vividly blue eyes were dilating and contracting at random intervals.

I struggled to remember his name. This was the kid who followed me around whenever he was bored or something. From my few encounters with him in the company of others, I gleaned that he was more than just a little bit feared by the terrorists. He was received with similar reactions to my own when he entered a room. I knew that he was a frequent user of soldier pills. Well… he was continually downing them. Every time I saw him he was powering back drugs. The others were afraid of him, but somehow he never got quite the attention that was given to me. I don't know… maybe he just wasn't the outwardly rebellious type. I was sure that, like me, the only reason he stuck around was to get gratification for his addiction.

Ah, Ryota was his name. Great pain in the-

"How're you feeling, Dei…dara?" he asked in a somewhat concerned tone. I squinted at him, despite how difficult it already was to see.

"What do you want, hmm?" I asked peevishly.

"I would like to show you something real special, my friend."

"And that would be…?"

"Well, you'll just have to come and find out, won't you?" He reached for my forearm but missed it. "Can't see a… thing!" he exclaimed.

My eyebrows shot up beneath my forehead protector. "Why do you want me?"

"Pfft… just come on!" Ryota finally found my arm and grasped it tight. His fingers felt like barbed wire. They had a strange, gnarly texture to them. He began to half-drag me into the grass.

I allowed myself to be pulled along, grinning smugly. His pestilence could turn out to be a boon. After all, whoever might be watching this had nothing against Ryota… or so I hoped. If he had some reason to be out of the borders of camp, then why would it be strange if I came along at his request? Everything was weird about Ryota… what was one more bizarre excursion? If I got lucky, I thought that I might be able to slip away or do him in during an off guard moment. By the time anyone was the wiser to my absence, I'd be long gone.

"So, so…" Ryota's voice rose subtly over the quiet, scratchy sounds of blades of grass rubbing against each other. "I hear you've got a few people's panties in a knot, of late." I could hear the smile in his tone.

"Yeaaah…" I said, drawing out the single syllable. "I guess these guys will never understand art, hmm."

"Art, you say?" Ryota repeated. "That's an interesting take on killing."

"You want to get me started?" I chuckled quietly. "Killing is not the actual art, though. I'd call it, the perfect representation or medium for it, hmm."

"How's that?" he asked.

I could feel my heart beginning to beat faster. "Life is fleeting, and life is art in itself. We are but insects that leave tiny and insignificant accomplishments within the minds of other worthless beings. You can pass along and treasure those memories, but they will die. Some may say, slowly and surely they will fade away, but it takes a long time. That's when I ask them… what is a thousand years added to our world's lifespan? Nothing, nothing at all. You see, it's all transient in the big picture." I lifted my gaze to the overcast sky. "Binding life to my sculptures, which could be an embodiment of that essence… that's art, hmm."

"I never gave that much though to life. I didn't really get all that, but it sounded pretty plausible," Ryota laughed blithely.

I ignored him. I had initially been pleased by his curiosity, but now that he had revealed his ignorance on the matter I was only irritated. It was almost as though I was searching for some opposition. I wanted someone to be insightful and bold enough to challenge me on an artistic level.

"We're just about there…" Ryota murmured.

"What is the-"

"Can you see those two old fence posts?" Ryota grabbed my shoulders and spun me about.

"Where…? What am I supposed to be looking at?"

"Aw, geez… I forgot that you're short. You want me to give you a boost?"

"Not a chance!" I wasn't sure if Ryota had been able to catch the mutinous glance I'd thrown at him.

"Well… geez, there's a post about twenty metres northeast, and to our left there's another one thirty metres westward. Those are the unnamed boundary markers for camp."

"How do you know that?" I asked skeptically.

"Some people don't spend their time holed up lounging in front of the TV, trying to get their jollies by scarring the peons and pissing off superiors," he replied curtly.

"Touché," I said sarcastically.

"But, hey… no joke, I always got a laugh out of hearing your latest scandal."

"Hmm?" I raised my eyebrows, slightly irked.

"You can't honestly want to hang around there, though." Ryota was taking much smaller steps now. He was hunched over so that he could talk to me at eyelevel.

"What… what are you saying?" My heart gave a small flutter. "You don't mean to say…" I could feel perspiration beginning to prickle on my brow.

"Eh?" Ryota gave me a quizzical look.

"No… continue what you were saying, hmm." That was the first time in awhile I'd found myself suggesting someone else should speak.

"I found the wickedest sort of marsh ever. There's something really weird about it… I dunno. I suggested bringing you along to analyze it when I brought my discovery to the admins. Funnily enough… they agreed. They agreed that you were probably one of the only shinobi here who's got an education and some pristine chakra control."

Now I really broke out into a sweat. They _knew_ they were giving me an opportunity to escape. I didn't doubt for a second that I would be able to defeat Ryota in battle, but there must have been a backup plan… if indeed they did intend to cash in my bounty when we reached Iwagakure. I couldn't be sure that an escape would be wise at this time. I was being backed into a corner… I was running out of time and _had_ to make my exit now. Maybe Ryota wasn't in on the plan (whatever that was), but I wasn't able to take chances on his trustworthiness or ignorance.

"What's… strange about the marsh?" I asked in an even tone.

"You've got to tell me. I can feel power coming from it… Does that make any sense?"

"Uh…" I froze in my tracks, breathing heavily. A sharp pain had erupted along the left half of my body. It had come and gone in a flash, leaving a numb sensation in its wake. I suddenly fell to my knees, all strength gone from my legs. I pitched over and vomited in the grass, gasping and coughing until there were only dry heaves left. The chest-mouth awoke in an explosive fit, gnashing its teeth and reaching around the border of my kimono with its tongue, trying to devour all within reach.

"Hey, what's wrong, man?!" Ryota dropped down beside me, putting a hand on my shoulder. I lashed out at him, crawling away like a wounded animal.

"Don't… touch me!" I hissed through gritted teeth.

"What _is_ that?!" Ryota reached for one of my pant legs and caught it, dragging me back with surprising strength. I thrashed around weakly, seeking my clay pouch, but he flipped me around none too gently, revealing the gaping chest-mouth's fight. "What is it?" Ryota repeated.

"Let go…!" I kicked him feebly, and he released me. "It's… just another of these." I waved a palm-mouth around in the air in front of him.

"Right, right. That's why you can barely stand and you're barfing up last night's miso and dumplings, which were delicious, by the way…"

"Don't talk about food right now, hmm!" I groaned, averting my gaze from my last meal.

"HA HA HA! That's right, off to the bog we go!" said Ryota, hauling me to my feet by the scruff of my kimono. I was not fond of being touched… not at all, but there was little I could do to resist in my lethargic state. A massive amount of chakra had just been absorbed again by the mouth. I hoped that I'd be able to regain enough energy to hold my own against Ryota by the time we reached his discovery.

I felt like I had a ticking time bomb inside my chest, one that wouldn't just go out with a bang, but instead stole my life little by little, chronically wasting me away. There was never a good time for an attack, and they usually came whenever I was in an aggravated or heightened emotional state. I had dared to hope that I'd gotten over them. It was not so. Hoping was a pointless effort; things either worked or they didn't. There was no ambiguous grey area… it was only a matter of time before the line was revealed.

"Moving on…" Ryota gripped my shoulders firmly. I couldn't tell if he did it to keep me going in the desired direction, or if he was afraid I'd make a break for it.

I slipped through the grass in silence, hardly stirring the thick blades. An air of urgency hung over Ryota, and I vaguely wondered if he sensed the same desperate cloud emanating from me. My movements were forced, mechanically graceful. I was running on empty, but I felt as though I had to maintain the façade of endless vigour.

"Slow down," Ryota cautioned. His warning had been needless; the underbrush had become so thick that it gradually hampered my progress.

The ground had abruptly turned to peat. My feet were already coated in a pasty mud. A forest of bulrushes surrounded Ryota and me, obstructing our view of the border we had left behind, and also hiding us from wary eyes.

I wrinkled my brow; I had begun to discern an ominous chakra in the air. It had the mute, yet clearly sentient feel of nature. Like foliage or primitive animals… but there was something slightly sinister to the power. There was too much of it. It was stiff and unchanging, but still complicated enough to be a human's chakra. I found myself getting absorbed in its intricate web, letting my mind wander up the thick waves and spirals of energy. I sank to my knees in the mire, crawling between the stubbornly rooted plants.

"Heh…" Ryota chuckled. I heard a faint _splick_ as he slid down into the muck. "I see you don't mind getting up close and personal with the dirt."

"I was raised in the dirt," I muttered scornfully. Ryota fumbled with a pill bottle somewhere behind me, swearing as he spilled a few of the soldier pills into the swamp.

I stopped the trek when my path was suddenly overtaken by a plant-less void in the murk. A jagged expanse of shallow water broke through the vegetation to stand stagnant and solitary amongst the bulrushes. The chakra was most concentrated in this area; it was where all the disembodied power stemmed from. The energy hung in such dense layers that it had smothered any other living things' chakra. There was a familiar nuance within the frozen rays, one that distinguished them as… earth chakra. I sank a palm-mouth into the depths, drawing the immobile power into my chakra network, tasting its characteristic tang and raw strength, but keeping it from spreading further.

"What do you think…?" Ryota asked me after some hesitation. "You can feel it, right?"

"Better than you can." I frowned. "Maybe…" I had almost completely forgotten about the tremendous risk I was still taking in being outside of the camp… almost neglected the fact that I was surely being sent out on a _leash._ This amazing force I had come in contact with absorbed my attention.

"Crazy crap, isn't it?" Ryota said in an undertone.

"Hmm…" My submerged fingers twitched convulsively.

"Wouldn't it be something fine if we could harvest it?" Ryota smiled thoughtfully.

I leered back at him. "You're not compatible. This is earth chakra. You must feel weaker here, being a water type." My face stretched still wider, my mind drawing conclusions from the statement.

"How'd you know…?" he asked, a hint of suspicion behind his words. It was the first time I'd heard him genuinely worried.

"You manhandled me a lot back there. I got plenty of time to register your chakra type at such close range. I'm _very_ good at manipulating and recognizing chakra, hmm." I didn't bother to cloak my boast under some pretence of humility. "…And it just so happens that I _am_ perfectly suited to this chakra."

Well, maybe not precisely attuned to it… it was strange, no matter how I tried to look at it. Weird, _half dead_ chakra.

"You don't say, huh…" Ryota popped another soldier pill into his mouth, rolling it around on his tongue. I tried to ignore him for the time being. I focussed on the swamp's chakra I still held in my palm-mouth. I had had enough of just probing it. Now I really wanted to absorb it; let it flow through me!

I put both hands on the surface of the tranquil water. "What do you think you'll accomplish by fighting me? Honestly…?" Ryota queried casually. I lost my concentration, allowing my palm-mouths to break beneath the translucent filth. My hands hit the bottom of the pool, sinking into silt and condensed mud.

"What?" I snapped rudely. "What do you think I'm trying to do, hmm?"

"You want to get away, right?" Ryota said nonchalantly. He didn't seem the least bit concerned by the idea. "You think I have some part in a grand scheme to use you against your will?"

"Do you?" I asked bluntly. A belligerent expression was marring my features. "Let's cut to the chase, shall we? I took you for an imbecile, but I'm having my doubts."

"I'm crushed!" Ryota threw his grimy hands up to his face in mock disbelief. His neon irises were still doing a mad dance around his eye sockets. It struck me how collected and coherent he remained, even while clearly inebriated with drugs. His easygoing attitude didn't hide that he was alert and very much in control of himself.

"Deidara, I'm just doing the math here. I'm not the only one who knows how high the bounty on your head is, and I'm certainly not one of the people keenest on cashing it in."

"Shut your mouth right now!" I hissed. My stomach contracted.

A soft sloshing sound had reached my ears, masked at first behind Ryota's voice, but becoming clearer by the moment.

I attempted to get up as quietly as possible, but Ryota knocked me back into the muck. My fingers dug into the thick filth, instinctively tearing chunks of viscous swamp from the pool's bottom. Before I had time to think about what I was doing, my palm-mouths were furiously processing the earthy substance. I vaguely registered that it had a very similar feel to the clay I usually used. I tried to direct a slight amount of chakra into the material, but found myself absorbing the ambient chakra already contained in the mud. I had forgotten to tweak the tenketsu in my palm-mouths back to "export" and had accidentally left them at "import".

I flinched as the malevolent chakra invaded my system. I attempted to drive it back out with a barrage of my own energy, but my chakra was too depleted to have much effect. This wasn't what I had been anticipating. I had only wanted to test a little of the chakra in a controlled environment, but here it was overtaking me while I was almost positive that we were being surrounded by other shinobi. I remained frozen in a crouch, grasping the… clay? That's what it must have been…

I was paralyzed while the foreign chakra invaded my body. I felt its penetrating tendrils searching my keirakukei, burning through the network's tubes, seeping into my sinews and bones. It was alive.

"Sorry, didn't mean to bump you… Come on- get up! I think the guys are checking in on us." Ryota grabbed me by my kimono.

"Tch!" I gasped. The alien chakra was wrapping its way around my organs, surrounding them in loops of barbed wire. Every muscle in my body was taut as a board; my spine a steel rod. Strands of crimson saliva clung between my parted lips.

"Twenty-four…" a bass male voice addressed Ryota.

I mustered all of my remaining strength to fight back, gathering my chakra into a concentrated mass at my core. The limbs I had robbed of chakra went limp. I fell face first into the marsh. My nostrils began to fill with water. Ryota leapt away; I heard the sucking sound made by liquid filling the void left by his feet. My eyes saw nothing, my ears went deaf. There was only a terrible suffocating darkness.

My reinforced chakra surrounded the delicate strands of fire, then wrapped around them in coarse bands. I constricted my chakra into even more concerted rings, and with a sudden spasmodic burst, I severed the horrible chakra's hold. The filaments of power whipped around the inside of my body like a firestorm, disconnected from their source. They were still violent, but they no longer held that probing or intelligent feeling.

I released my chakra, allowing it to flood through my entire being once more. It mingled blindly with the smouldering chakra. The two entwined themselves into a single entity: a new chakra.

My eyes were suddenly flooded with light and my eardrums were being bombarded by a series of rapid vibrations. All of my senses tingled. I expelled a fountain of water from my lungs, sucking air in with greedy gulps.

"What _is_ it?!" a voice broke very near my ear. Ryota had his arms around my chest, supporting me from behind. At first I thought he was asking what had been wrong with me, but it didn't take me long to realize what he had really been talking about. I peered at the source of the commotion from between clumps of dripping hair.

"MY CHAKRA!" wailed a keening voice. A slender, dark figure was rising from within an oscillating vortex in the middle of the marsh. The pull of the swamp beneath us had Ryota hopping backwards, trying to lug me with him. I squirmed free of his grasp, surprised this time by how easy it had been to break his grip.

"_Doton: Ganjo Ikizumaru!_" I shouted, recklessly forming seals. I slapped my hands down onto the churning water's surface. Immediately there was an ear-splitting crack and the swirling mire's vicious pull died down. The water level sank as quickly as if someone had pulled the plug on the whole thing. The ground became visible beneath our feet; firm and cracked, sucking the fluid deep into its crevices.

"Very nice…" the older boy said in a reverent tone. A profound energy had wrapped its coils over every nerve ending in my body. The ethereal life-force billowed outwards from my form. I stood with my shoulders squared and my feet firmly planted. I felt a hot ribbon of moisture creeping down my chin. Paid it no heed.

"INSOLENT MORTAL! I WILL TEAR THE LIFE OUT OF YOU!" the spectre yowled, demanding attention from all those assembled.

"Twenty-four, what's going on here?" The source of the deep male voice assumed itself to be that of a newcomer. A great, broad ox of a man stood a little way back from Ryota, and behind that man was Number 33 in his moon mask, and behind him… loomed the pelvis-man. It was clearly Pelvis-face who had spoken.

"I… I don't know," Ryota stammered, clearly shaken by the unfolding of unexpected events.

"It's a mutiny!" hissed Cheese-man, jabbing two fingers aggressively at the pair of us. The angle at which his head was tilted threw hundreds of tiny shadows onto his porous mask. "Didn't I tell you the Iwagakurian wasn't to be trusted?!" His voice had taken on a hysterical note. He reminded me of the man who had stood up in the lounge and insisted I be driven away. Maybe he was that guy.

Was "Iwagakurian" even a word?

"Keep your trap shut, 33," the other huge man commanded. He continued in a hoarse whisper, "You were lucky to escape with your life today. And, further more, you are fortunate to be included in our filter program… underling!"

These words seemed to take the curb off of Cheese-man's agitation.

"YOU!" The ghostly apparition appeared completely oblivious to the four other men milling around its domain. It had fixed a glazed eye in my direction and its whole body was leaning in towards me. An oily black substance flowed freely from the being's pores, coating its leathery skin in a slimy sheet. I was hardly ten feet away from the monster.

"Why have you disturbed the Guardian, 24?" Pelvis-face said gruffly.

"What guardian?" asked Ryota, dumbfounded. I might have been the only one to notice the hint of suspicion that had now crept into his voice. "You sent me to investigate this place with Number 67." He paused to half glance at me. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"I gave you no such orders," Pelvis-face sneered behind his mask.

"Permission!" Ryota started to snarl, but he was interrupted. Pelvis-face cut him off curtly.

"Neither permission."

"That's a crock of crap!" Ryota yelled indignantly, his temper flaring up.

"They're obviously framing me, hmm," I finally spoke up. My voice was barely higher than a whisper. "_Us_…" I corrected myself.

"Like hell they are!" barked Ryota. "Not if I can help it."

"Let's calm down, boys," Pelvis-face said, as though he was an academy teacher breaking up a disturbance between two disreputable school children.

"Let's not," said Ryota, bending into a fighting stance. I couldn't agree more with him.

"You've disturbed the ancient Guardian and strayed from camp. For what purpose? It doesn't matter. No one gave you the authority to leave camp; no one is _ever_ permitted to leave camp."

_Well, he's lying, of course…_ I thought to myself. I had seen people come and go as they pleased plenty of times before now. What he really meant was that no one with a _bounty_ on their head was ever permitted to leave camp. Goodness knows, someone else could cash it in.

I had been keeping half of my concentration centered on the fiend of the marsh, and now I found my vigilance paying off. The creature, whatever it was, had grown impatient with the namby-pamby accusations and bickering. I ducked and less than a nanosecond later a tentacle-like arm had shot into the space my head had vacated.

My hands balled up into fists as I somersaulted away from the ghoul… towards the ill-boding men. I was momentarily surprised when I felt my weight mash the sticky, warm clay still jammed within my palm-mouths. A snap of intuition flashed across my mind as I dodged a blow.

The monster sent another attack my way, and I stepped swiftly out of its line of fire. The beast's sinewy arm came raging in uncontrollable spasms towards the three men. Pelvis-face and the Ox easily evaded the misdirected assault, but Cheese-man didn't get so lucky. Haven't stood a little behind Pelvis-face, he hadn't seen exactly where the creature's arm had came from. Though, he certainly did now. A powerful limb, brimming with unseen chakra had bore straight through Cheese-man's abdomen and come blossoming out of the back of his vest like some grisly, parasitic flower.

Realization took a few seconds to hit Cheese-man, but we all knew when it had. The screaming started. It began at a muted pitch, as though he didn't quite believe that the pain was real, that he had failed to block such a blunt attack. His mask hung askew off his twisted features, of which only tufts of sandy hair and bloodshot eyes were visible.

"Was no better than he deserved." I could hear the sneer in Pelvis-face's voice.

Cheese-man's wails reached an unbearable crescendo, then abruptly died off. A deep hum resonated from within the monster's chest, vibrating down its arm, causing the lifeless corpse hanging off its arm to tremble violently. I noticed with a slight shock that Cheese-man's cadaver was now completely emaciated, sucked dry of all moisture and chakra.

Then, so quickly that I barely perceived it, the creature's arm whipped to the side, Number 33's body slipping off the end of its tentacle. The shrivelled remains hit the Ox with enough force to send him reeling several hundred feet out of the field of reeds.

"NOW THAT'S THE STUFF!" boomed the spectre. It made an odd gurgling noise, then turned back to me. "YOU TOOK WHAT WAS NOT YOUR OWN. THERE IS ALWAYS A PRICE."

"Certainly is…" I murmured, taking a step towards the thing. The borrowed power within me bubbled to the surface of my conscience. I grasped it tightly with a mental fist, finished moulding it like the clay within my palms. I had as much of a right to steal chakra from the monster, as the thing had to rob other shinobi of their energy.

All is fair in… something… and war? I couldn't remember the rest of the saying.

_Here goes…_

* * *

**AN:**

Doton: Ganjo Ikizumaru_ - _Earth Release: Sturdy Standstill

Wow… I have so not updated in months. I'm REAL sorry 'bout that. I could say that life's been insane, and I wouldn't be lying. And I could say that I'll have another chapter out really soon, but then I'd be lying. –grins- I hope you enjoy anywho.


	26. Emergence

**Emergence**

Oh, that's right… it was, all's fair in _love_ and war. But I could really do without the 'love' part. A clichéd expression, wasn't it? And an overrated emotion.

In a reckless gesture, I released a clay duo from my palm-mouths, leaping thirty feet into the air above the monster. A torpedo like bird shot from my right hand, while a bloated spider came crawling from my left. I willed the earthy arachnid to cling to my clothing as I fell.

My winged creation doubled back on itself, zooming in pursuit of my descent. The creature below me narrowed its tiny, dead eyes, preparing itself with a sick sort of glee to impale my own thin body on one of its limbs.

I felt a giddy rush of joy, which to some, may seem odd as they are spiralling to what would appear to be a most unpleasant demise. No, that wouldn't be the case. I would never go out that way. I was _invincible_!

Pelvis-face swore viciously, readying himself in a deadly fighting stance. The trajectory of my jump had made it look as though I was aiming to attack him, but at the last minute I grabbed the wing of my small bird and pulled myself to the side, altering my velocity. My work of art proved to be just as practical as it was aesthetically pleasing. It held up far better than my usual clay; it was stronger. I grabbed the blunt tail feathers of the bird, forcing my creation to tow me after it into a steep nosedive, straight for the spectre's putrid trunk.

Ryota must have had an inkling of what was about to happen, because he abruptly went about making himself scarce, diving through the bulrushes before Pelvis-face could stop him.

"AHAHAHAHAAA!" I screamed as I fell. Saliva flew past my lips in copious amounts, but I couldn't stop myself. I was just _so_ damn happy.

The ghoulish thing glared at me accusingly. I dared it to attack me.

_Go ahead… do it!_

An arm clad in wiry ligaments made a beeline for my midriff. It surely wanted to plunge its great rotting flesh into my own; it wanted the chakra back that I had stolen, furious with the irony of the situation. I would take from the taker as I pleased.

No one could win me or my services any longer. The need to move on was overpowering, it drove away the reason I had remained.

_Will you be sorry about this later, hmm?_ I asked myself vaguely. _No,_ I said with a plain retort.

I was now in range. Deftly, my bird pulled me to the side of the approaching arm. I moved past the mighty limb as if in slow-motion. This had happened to me before, as though in one split second I could see everything all at once and freeze it permanently within my mind. It was a strange sensation, to turn my head slightly and watch the fabric on the sleeve of my kimono move in sluggish ripples against the wind. My clothing flapped dully in the throws of descent, fighting its own battle against the rushing air. The near-empty pouch at my side hit me repetitively, as though trying to remind me of its hunger for more clay. My hair was flashing behind my head like a yellow comet tail.

Closing my eyes against the bird's slipstream, I stretched out the arm with my spider on it. Blindly, I let my fingertips run down the side of the monster's slimy limb as I fell. Thicker than a decent sized sapling… I extended my reach with a thread of concentrated chakra, feeling sinew breach beneath my touch. The creature roared, but the sound meant nothing to me.

I could almost _hear_ how close the ground had become to me.

I easily dodged the whistle of another approaching tentacle, tracing my way around to the base of the spectre's arm. It was then that I bid the clay spider to leave my hand. I gave a particularly fierce jab into the skin, parting muscles like waves. I plunged my closed fist to the beast's bone, depositing my spider there at the base of a joint.

My eyes were still firmly shut.

I opened them at the same moment I hit the ground, executing several quick hand signs.

"_Doton-_" I began, but the rest of my words were drowned out by the effect my seals had triggered. There was a colossal crashing noise as the cracked ground beneath me was ripped into a small fissure. I followed my bird through the rift, diving headlong, deep into the earth, as though it were no thicker than gelatine. The crumbling ground above me sealed itself over my head.

I grinned to myself within the enfolding darkness. There was a tumultuous commotion going on above me. The wounded monster was thoroughly pissed. I could feel the tremors from its tantrum vibrating through the soil.

I put my hands together.

"Katsu!" I hissed reverently.

**BANG!**

The explosion that followed must have rocked the earth to its very foundation! I regretted not being able to see it. Was thankful that I could at least feel it. Some of that beautiful new chakra died along with me up there. And, oh, the colours! They must have been vibrant, beyond the mind's comprehension. New hues that man had never laid eyes on before, and would never again. For there was no one left. The night had once again swallowed up the 'BANG' and everyone else.

I had relinquished my hold on the bird that tunnelled with me underground. It hopped to stand beside me, cocking its head to inspect my twisted expression with an empty eye socket. I could only see it when I focussed chakra to my eyes; such was the darkness we were consumed by. I gazed steadily at it, disturbed by the reprieve from action.

My fingers flipped through a few more seals, which caused the bird to shiver violently.

In a sudden blast it expanded outwards, shattering the bedrock around us. I hadn't been expecting it to grow so large so quickly, and was nearly crushed beneath the imploding landscape. I attached myself to one of its swelling legs, shielded by the massive body, and standing on a thick talon to steady myself against the shifting earth. A mighty pair of wings enfolded me as the bird forced its way to the surface.

Finally my creation spread its wings to their full span; over forty feet. Boulders slid off the finely sculpted feathers as though they were only crumbs. I choked on the putrid scent of burnt flesh when it rushed in all around me. As I climbed up the haunch of my bird, I saw the scenery around me for the first time since my art had taken hold. There weren't even pieces of a corpse or two to indicate the monster's or Pelvis-face's existence. There was only that powerful, oily odour.

It was fortunate that I'd taken the extra step and burrowed to the rock. I had never made a clay spider that powerful before. In fact, I had never had to inject so little chakra into any clay before to get this result. Total, glorious carnage.

From my new position astride the behemoth, I saw just how unscrupulously I had devastated the landscape. There was no longer a swamp of any kind. The retched grass seemed to go on for infinity, but at least now I could see over it. I had cleared away an easy two thirds of it, just like that.

We stood in a crater; a deep one that I knew would still mar the earth long after I had left this place. The idea pleased me.

I heard yelling and saw small lights threading through the underbrush in my direction. I scowled at them, tempted to circle over the base and drop a present on it. Though, the call of my freedom won out against the bloodlust, and I turned my resentful stare away. The unknown beckoned to me with a silver voice of fire.

I raised my head to scent a fresh breeze of air. A storm was on its way. And I hated being wet.

Having no desire to remain and soak up any evaporated cadaver fat into my pores, I commanded the great bird to take off.

The clay bunched huge sheets of cold muscle beneath it, heaving itself into the sky with a flow of thick movement.

I glanced at the ground one more time before I ascended above the clouds. I could see no trace of Ryota. I didn't think he was dead, no, far from it. Something about him told me that he'd live on. We were both survivors.

_Well, well… unemployed again, Deidara,_ I thought wryly. _We've really got to get into a self-owned business, hmm._

**~.x.X.X.x.~**

During the next week I passed over the rugged mountains flanking Iwagakure. I had taken the difficult route along the Taki-Kusa border, moving northwest with the land.

At first, the reentrance into my homeland had brought a vague amusement and anticipation with it, but as the days wore on, and I could still find no suitable place to rest, I became irritated. A burning rage ate away at me from the pit of my stomach. I wasn't even entirely sure why I felt so angry. Though, the reasons meant little to me anymore.

I killed anyone who saw me, or who might have sensed my presence. I would afford no complications in this matter. My clay pouch was nearly empty now. I was displeased when I unzipped it on the third day to find only a yawing void within. Meticulously, I had scraped out what was left and balled it into a small lump. I was in desperate need of more clay, and only one solution to this burning necessity kept presenting itself to me.

_The quarry…_

My training grounds; my stash. And all that went with it.

I would have to be careful… _so stealthy_ to go back there. I had to expect that my latest bunch of fellow henchmen would be making a raid in Iwagakure soon. I doubted that they'd succeed in whatever they were attempting. If there was one thing I was familiar with, it was the resilience and coldhearted order of my old village's shinobi.

Nonetheless, I didn't want to chafe sides with the terrorists again, and I knew that I'd have to crap or get off the pot about this whole business before it was too late. Going back to Iwagakure with such a high bounty on my head was probably one of the last things I was expected to do, but maybe everyone knew by now that the unexpected had become a customary quality of mine. Were I to wait until the terrorists made their inevitable move… Well, it'd be nigh impossible to penetrate the village in the aftermath.

I shivered as my stead passed through a cloud, heavily laden with moisture. All this rain… hmm. I thought that used to excite me.

I circled the area surrounding Iwagakure about five times before I decided to come back later. I landed my creation on the flat top of a tall rock formation a good ten miles from Iwa. It was a cliff that had probably once been a part of something far greater, but had eventually eroded beneath the onslaught of time and violent windstorms. It was even likely that parts of the rock had been carried over the hills and down into the canyon nestling Iwagakure within its protective base. The village was like an oyster- with a hard shell that hid a vulnerable, fleshy body within...

…_And maybe a pearl or two._

The thought had me falling off of my bird, instead of gracefully sliding down. Where had that come from? I was furious at the internal slip. What had I meant by _that_, hmm?

I kicked a protruding boulder, knocking it clean off the platform of slate. I wanted to see art again. I wanted it _so_ badly that it hurt inside. That addiction… I had to remember that I was 'self-employed' now. It would be harder to cover gratuitous killing if it wasn't under the guise of an assassination order.

My artistic detours along the way to Iwagakure had been necessary. Not in the least bit regrettable, though.

I sighed, exhaling a broken stream of air that misted on the afternoon's crisp folds. Quite a chilly spring day.

_Do something…_ I urged myself.

I glanced at the bird still standing obediently behind me.

_Aha._

I crossed over to it, sinking onto a huge talon. With a gentle internal tug, I prompted the great creature to untuck its wings and bring them in front of it, to shelter me beneath their massive expanse. I curled myself up on top of the bird's feet, trying to settle myself in for some sleep. I had an idea of what I was going to do when I woke up. I'd wait for nightfall and then head out to Iwagakure. This time I wouldn't shy away. It was my own turf I'd be traversing after all; I could say nothing like that about the other places that I'd successfully infiltrated.

Sleep didn't come easily to me. I knew there'd be no strong winds at this time of year, but something wasn't in place…

Perhaps it was just that right now… clay seemed far colder than rock.

**~.x.X.X.x.~**

I was awoken by a dull crack. When I opened my eyes, they were immediately clouded with a barrage of steam. The fog quickly passed away; driven back by a slight breeze. I'd fallen on the ground around the same time that the noise had roused me from my light doze.

A part of me had died again.

My monstrous creation was no more. Its supply of chakra had apparently expired. And though I should have felt grateful that the thing had lasted as long as it did, I was only enraged. It had been my only significant means of transportation. And besides… it was frickin' magnificent, hmm!

I looked up at the starry sky, trying to blink away another violent urge. I was so tired, yet _incensed_ at the same moment.

Not much of a plan, and not a whole lot of energy left. My body could only keep up with so much of what my rabid desire wanted to do. The chakra I had robbed the specter of was almost gone. It had left me like a drained vessel.

I leaned over the side of the cliff, shaking my head irately. Well, the bird would have been way too ostentatious for my entrance. Though… it would have been useful to call in for my escape were things to go awry.

"Pfft…" I casually stepped out into the open air, falling over fifty feet before I caught myself against the ground, using my entire body to absorb the force of impact. My chakra dispelled the momentum within me, breaking the energy down into manageable portions.

I gave my surroundings a cursive glance before breaking into a light run.

Stones. Nothing more, nothing less. Yet, they all seemed recognizable to me… I must have been imagining their familiarity. I couldn't even remember having been in this area. Though, I could reminisce about other things… memories I'd buried within these barren soils.

In an attempt to block the entourage of backed up recollections, I focused on the jutsu I'd need to quietly slip into Iwagakure. Yes… I'd go in silently… then I'd be out with a BANG!

I figured that I'd use a henge for the duration of my stay. I wasn't particularly adept at the technique, however it was a fundamental skill, and I was confident that I could still pull off something satisfactory. A nameless face kept reappearing in the forefront of my mind. Silvery hair, bronzed skin, muscular arms. And that face… he was still screaming in my head, as a knife dealt deeply with his once handsome features. I had stripped the tormented mask of its identity, but a label for all that personified rage rose to the surface of my mind.

_Hisoka._

I screamed with laughter at the irony. Yes… it would be his tragic face that I'd wear. I was sure that would piss him off if he knew. Assuming… he was even still alive. I couldn't be sure that he'd survived his fateful encounter with Tetsuo. But… if I still understood him, he'd live, just to spite me.

Deep down, I knew that I was vilifying him. But the things, people, and ideals that I had once held as upright and noble were no longer in place. I looked for a face to blame and had found it. I sought a name to curse and swore against it.

It wasn't difficult to don Hisoka's appearance. He hardly left my mind during the sprint across the rugged terrain. I entered a dark gorge near the back of Iwagakure as Deidara, and crawled out of it as Hisoka's scarred double, complete with one of those obscene, tight outfits he had seemed to love.

I slowed myself as I approached the area where the back of the village sank its tail into the earth. Below my toes stretched the jagged precipice that hid Iwagakure. As I gazed off into the distance, I could see where the village raised itself out of the canyon to sit slightly above sea level. From this height, the topography of the Iwagakure somewhat resembled a broken slide.

My stream wasn't far away. I could vaguely make it out under the night's cover. It shimmered tantalizingly, clearly swollen with the winter's rain that I had missed.

I raised a hand, shockingly devoid of a palm-mouth, up to eyelevel. I triggered a slightly greater flow of chakra from my hands and feet; more than I was constantly exerting from the rest of me to keep my disguise in place.

I picked out a dark crag, untouched by the moon's light, to begin my descent into the village. There wouldn't be guards patrolling this far out… that was one of the reasons I had chosen such a place to conduct my experiments. There might have been shinobi on the watch here, right after I denounced Iwagakure as my home. They may have waited weeks, maybe even months for me to come back, either to steal supplies or surrender my services to the village once again.

Though there really wasn't any good reason for someone to be out there, I had to be cautious. Appearing as Hisoka was hardly practical, nor would it be convincing to someone who knew him well. But I didn't plan on meeting up with anyone, and it was all I could think about in terms of precautions. Maybe, if someone saw me from afar, I'd be lucky enough to pass off as Hisoka from a distance. Better a stranger impersonating Hisoka, than Deidara the traitor returned to wreak havoc. It would be so much more satisfying were I to save the surprise until the last minute. A transient victory- all the sweeter!

Awkwardly, I climbed down the side of the cliff face, feeling like some vampiric suction cup. I would have liked wings at that moment.

Ten feet from the ground, I landed quietly beside the thin ribbon of water twining its way into the wall of rock. Cautiously, I took a few steps forward. The ground was caked in mud, soft to the touch, and beneath the dirt, rock. But no garbage… That was odd. There was usually a colossal amount of refuse and trash piled at the end of the slope, and because no one went beyond my training ground, the genin and academy kids did not clear rubbish this far back.

_Hmm…_ This couldn't be a fortuitous sign, no.

I crept silently along the stream's side, following it farther up the trail as it thickened into a mighty rope.

I located my clay hole, immersed as it was beneath several feet of murky water and silt. Gritting my teeth, I plunged an arm into the reservoir, soaking the ugly suit I had fabricated. I could hardly remember the last time I had done this… kneeling at the earth's edge and begging art from it.

But this time, I was given nothing.

My fingernails scraped the bottom, feeling only the unpleasant hardness of stone and sediments.

_Gone? Why's it gone, hmm?_

I withdrew the offended limb, beginning to shake with that chronic feeling of rage.

There was only one alternative, because I'd be damned if I made the trip for nothing! It would take more than a great deal of effort to pull the infiltration off smoothly, and I'd have to find another source of clay eventually… but that wasn't the point!

Her house.

_That girl_.

Enshrouded in a swirling cloud of thick, reddish locks, her features were no longer discernable in my mind's eye. I only remembered the vague stirrings of emotion that I had wasted on her. And, absurd as it may seem, I had forgotten the name. Our conversations were now censored; the kunoichi no longer had a face or identity to accompany her influence.

"…"

Love… I never wanted to experience that emotion for a single person, not ever again. It was a pointless, ridiculous thing that made human beings into trembling lumps of besotted meat. There was no dignity in _love_. Not an ounce.

I'd lavish all of my devotion on my art; it couldn't reject me. I was the master of my craft and it was my adoring lover, who gave back to me again and again… _without fail._

And who could actually do that for me, besides that sublimely submissive clay. No one, I had said.

Sighing, I waved my arm wearily. Water droplets flecked the night, forming a shining halo in the moon's light.

I stood frozen on the cusp of another misadventure. I knew it wouldn't be pleasant… not until the very end.

In that girl's house, I still had something left that was of great value…

_Clay._

A stone clattered suddenly, deafeningly, through the minefield of rocks slanting up and away to Iwagakure.

"Hisoka-kun?" a sharp female voice cut across the expanse. I looked up, forgetting for just a second that _I_ was now him.

The silhouette of a girl with short, curly hair flickered dramatically on the crest of a mountain of rocks which I knew led to my training grounds. The light hit her face oddly as she descended, reflecting off two pieces of shining glass in front of her eyes. Brown locks glinted wildly in the moon's glow. Her expression was stony, unyielding and heavy with hard times, but I abruptly recognized her dominant air. Though she now seemed to have taken up wearing glasses, it was Toshi who had found me. She, who was Hisoka's and the deceased Shin's old genin cell member.

She who was sure to know that I was not Hisoka.

* * *

**AN:**

Henge no Jutsu – Art of Transformation

Yay, I can't believe that I actually updated! It's really hard to continue this story what with Deidara having died so long ago now and all his profile info coming out AFTERWARDS. Bah… Well, I shall persevere despite.

Thanks for reading, reviewing, faving, etc. I always appreciate it and will continue to leave updates on my profile concerning how far I have gotten in the next chapter.


	27. I Am, I Was

**I Am, I Was**

Toshi's silver tank top flashed brightly as the wane light slithered across her shining form. She moved with an almost deliberate slowness, as though trying to make her approach as substantial as possible. Her presence was commanding as always, but now it seemed mature, rather than bossy and obnoxious. Besides that and the glasses, she seemed unchanged. I noticed that she even wore the same colour of capris that I'd always seen her in.

"I told you to give me the heads up when you do this… it's ridiculous," Toshi said, coming to stand beside me. She didn't even look at me. Fortunate.

I chose, most wisely, to remain silent.

"Fine. Giving me the cold shoulder again, are we?" she huffed, crossing her arms. She gazed down the path I had come from, seeming to think for a moment. Perhaps she wondered if she'd been a little insensitive, because her next words seemed more subdued. "They're not coming back."

I finally decided to glance at her. Her expression was pensive and strained. "Shin-kun would return if things got too rough… I know he would…" she muttered distractedly.

I threw caution to the winds. "We already talked about this…" I said, speaking in Hisoka's sullen voice.

"I know!" Toshi responded emphatically. "I know… he's probably dead by now. And Deidara-san… well…"

I glared at her, trying to muster up the fierce kind of anger that must have been building in Hisoka. It wasn't hard, because my own artistic frustration was still in ready supply.

"I'll be waiting for him." I almost added a 'hmm' onto the end of my sentence, but caught myself at the last possible moment.

"Yeah," she said blankly, avoiding my look. I was definitely pushing my luck with all the muttering and misery I was putting on display. Somehow, a part of me was feeling vaguely amused at how easy it was to read the nature of Hisoka's conversations- exchanges that I had never been exposed to.

What a simpleton. A pathetic, predictable bleeding heart.

Employing my most firm, false voice, I said quietly, "I will take my leave, then. I have some unfinished business to attend to."

"Already?" Toshi asked, surprised.

And I was tempted to say, "Oh, but alas, I fear it is so!" I didn't do that, but it certainly appealed to my sarcastic side. I was already tired of pretending to be a goody two shoes. It was disconcerting to know that I remembered how to play the part…

"Yes, I have a lot on my mind right now…" I muttered.

"Don't you always?" Toshi responded sadly. "Ah… well, I won't disturb you. Me- I think I'm going to stay out a little longer. I miss the silence…" She frowned.

_Did you ever think that you'd be depriving me of that selfsame silence, you twit?_ I grumbled mentally.

I ambled away, taking the pile of rocks up to Iwagakure at a leisurely pace. There was no need to hurry anymore… I could almost safely assume that Hisoka was asleep, or, with hope, somewhere far away.

My arena from so many months ago came into view as I breached the mountain of stones. They had seemed to settle and grow complacent in my absence. The thrill of danger was no longer there while I climbed, and I wasn't sure if that could be entirely accredited to the landscape. Maybe I had changed.

Yet again, I was surprised to see no garbage. The place where Toshi and Shin had once set up a bonfire was now blackened and scattered across the clearing. I gazed upon it with hardly a flicker of emotion. The desecration was now meaningless. Everything was nothing here. Iwagakure was no more my home than the terrorist cells I moved between so frequently. All that had happened might as well have been a dream, or something I had fashioned within my mind to amuse myself with.

The reality only kicked in after I had squeezed myself between the two guarding sentinels outside my training ground.

The village stood to attention, rigid and bleak in the moonlight. The heart of Iwagakure lay further up the main road, but there were a few buildings planted here on the outskirts. The angry geezers' homes, some of the retirees, and… the place I was looking for. It was more convenient now than ever before that my former best friend's (that was who she had been to me, right?) house was closest to my training grounds.

The dead kunoichi's dwelling place was covered in a fine layer of dust, which indicated that there hadn't been a wind storm for quite some time. A few more of the stone-cut steps had fallen thirty feet off of the cliff face and crumbled uselessly in a pile. These stairs led to the disused porch, which was currently barred off by a folding wind barrier. The steel was rusting at its hinges and looked easy enough to break. I should have considered myself fortunate that no one had moved into _her_ house after she had no more of a need for it. By my reckoning, the building was no longer hospitable because of how close it had drifted to the ledge. Precarious in the best of times, the house had crept (or been washed away) to a point where the entire façade of the porch was hanging out into open space.

The hairs on the back of my neck rose slightly, and I did my best to appear causal as I tilted my head skywards to regard the canyon walls flanking Iwagakure high above me.

_One… Two… Three… Four…_ I counted the guards off in my mind, flicking my eyes from side to side. What to do about them…? Would it appear odd if Hisoka suddenly decided to break into his ex-lover's home?

_Would it…?_

A feeling, almost instinctual in its certainty, gripped me. He probably had been visiting the house. Maybe he hadn't, maybe it brought up those (_oh_, so painful) bad memories rather than the happy ones. But I felt sure that he wouldn't have been able to help himself.

_Now here's to hoping he didn't find the clay… _I thought tensely. I tried to push the sleeves of my kimono up to my elbows, but realized that this might have looked odd considering that my henge made me appear to be wearing a skintight outfit. My fingers twitched at my sides, and I remembered the small lump of clay I had left in my concealed pouch.

_Later,_ I told myself as I paced serenely across the smooth earth, ignoring the sentries. I stood at the base of the eroding cliff beneath _her_ house, warring with myself. I was only assuming that all of this would be natural for Hisoka to do. Only trusting my capricious gut.

Impatience won out in me, and I vaulted the gap between the missing stairs and came out onto the third step from the top. A small puff of dust rose into the air and floated peacefully around my sandaled feet. I observed that it was impossible to tell if anyone else had made a journey up this same pathway. That put me on edge; the weeds I had fed upon previously were rising up my throat in a clump of acid.

I passed the screened porch, edging around the side of the house. Just like I thought, the back end had dragged itself across the stone and left a considerable amount of space between the canyon wall and the old wind barrier.

_Aha, hmm…_

There was a pair of folding screens that protected most houses from wind. They locked together at two points, and one was usually in front of your main entranceway. In this case, the other opening was at the back of _her_ home. And… it was open. The padlock that had once held it closed from the inside was now a corroded mess strewn across the measly backyard.

I was glad that this wasn't one of the buildings in the old district of Iwagakure. They were constructed of rock, rather than imported wood and metal shingles, and grew like cancerous termite mounds in the canyon's sides. The tall windows and turreted roofs were not to my taste, but they would have made infiltration easier… However, the sheer number of people living in that area was not desirable.

I slid a tentative hand through the gap, pushing one of the screens aside gently, trying to create as little noise as possible. The grate protested shrilly, squealing angrily on its track. I cringed slightly and crept through the entrance into the covered balcony-like porch that surrounded the house. I didn't bother to close the wind barrier behind me. That might have been a mistake.

Moving in a surreal way, I rounded the house's familiar corners, taking care not to trip on the abandoned lawn chairs and other assorted plastic furniture. Wavering bars of white moonlight slid through the closed shutters at the building's front, revealing the open doorway and tiled hall beyond. A strange pang shot through me at the sight of hot chocolate rings that had cemented themselves onto the floorboards. I could vaguely recall sitting down here, so many months ago, and drinking from the very same glass that had left those unsightly marks. (_"Geez, and I just washed it, too…"_)

What had I been doing…?

_Fleeing?_

What changed?

I staggered into the hallway, passing the mat designated for shoes. I turned into the kitchen, pausing in the archway. A blue table made of marble was leaning crookedly against the fading walls. I could see each vein in the stone, despite the low lighting. My eyes roved over the countertops, hardly stopping to observe the moldy pots and plates. I finally spied the sink from beneath its massive burden of filthy dishes. (_She_ never would have let things get this way for long.)

I slowly got to my knees and pried open the cupboard beneath the basin. It reeked of mildew and expired drain cleaner. The darkness was so complete here that I had to put my hands out before me and grope blindly through the supplies. My fingertips passed over plastic caps and the textured bottom of a pair of rubber gloves. They roved over an untouched landscape of forgotten products and unopened goods. I found the bottom of a pipe and followed it into the back of the wall. Every nerve in my body was as taught as a bowstring when I first touched upon the cold plastic container balanced on the top of the U-bend. I drew it out greedily, raising the thing above my head with the worshipful air of a zealot adoring his pagan idol.

It was… smaller than I had remembered it being, but nonetheless, this vessel housed prime material! I peeled back the container's lid, driving my fingers into the clay; it was as soft as the day it had been harvested, the day I had hidden it here for an instance just such as this. I was on the verge of raving lunacy as I shoved great gobs of the clay into my pouch, which I had now pulled from within the layers of my disguise. I felt my palm-mouths grind their teeth in consternation at this denial. They couldn't be allowed to run rampant- not yet.

My clay pouch was now nearly full. I stored a handful of clay in each palm as I finished up, returning the container to its previous residence. When I picked myself up from the tiled floor, I was that much more powerful than when I had crouched before the sink.

Just as I was about to make my retreat from the entrance hallway, I halted in my tracks, gazing through the open doorway opposite me. I found myself walking through it in a dreamlike state. Despite contrary belief, I had never set foot in _her _bedroom before now. I was interested in anything but the large mat on the floor with its neatly folded blankets. My eyes instantly sought out the pale glow emanating from in front of the sheet of black glass that made up a windowpane. The object, sitting innocently on the sill, was like a jolt of electricity to the brain.

_Her name was Suzume._

Unconsciously, I moved across the room, towards the desiccated hunk of clay I had gifted her with. This was the last useless piece of art I had ever created. A static, degenerating _thing_. The owl had wasted away until it was nothing but a cracked mockery of art. This was not transience. This was a diseased death, and it brought a chill shuddering all down my spine.

I lashed out at it, shattering the dying clay with one blow. I couldn't bear to look at it any longer.

"Hisoka…?" someone said from very close behind me. I let out a very un-Hisoka-like shriek and flinched around. The tone of this voice was all wrong. It was condescending, it was unbelieving- it was _harsh_. A sense of deja vu gripped me.

I leapt, but not quickly enough, to avoid a punch which caught me upside my right cheek. My vision flashed white, and I stumbled back, blinking furiously. My chakra, now upset and churning within my network, faltered briefly, and I lost the illusion I had cloaked myself in. But that didn't matter.

A sullen, pallid face, scarred beyond all recognition of its former beauty, was hovering in the air just inches from me. I went down hard on my backside, scrabbling for purchase on the grimy floor.

The real Hisoka's hair shone silver in the wane light, and had grown so long that it nearly reached the floor, but I recognized his proud stance. And in my mind, I made the connection between my error and his appearance here. I had screwed up on that damn hair… and the scars. His face was positively ravaged- worse than it had seemed when Tetsuo first took the knife to those ruggedly handsome features. And Toshi would have recognized this, of course.

"If there was going to be a next time, I'd tell you to do your research before you barge into Iwagakure. Who the hell do you think we are here?" Hisoka said quietly, his words fired with searing hatred. "Toshi-chan's a good actor, huh? What do you think, Deidara?"

I peered out at him from beneath my curtain of blond hair, attempting to meld his faltering outline back together. I was a little too stunned to come up with a witty response to his interrogation. My head was still pounding with every beat of my heart.

He loomed closer and closer to me, until his traditional Iwagakure chunin vest blocked all else from view. I felt his hands close around my shoulders, and this somehow spurred my palm-mouths into action without any decision on my part. They began to mash the clay I had stuffed into them, working furiously as Hisoka hefted me upwards. The tips of my toes brushed the floor briefly before I was chucked into the ceiling.

I gasped as the top of my cranium made contact with the open latticework of steel bars. My bangs flew around me in stringy strands, casting my vision into a tempest of golden light. I hit the floor, thoroughly winded. When my breath returned, I was laying on my side, blowing hair out of my mouth.

A strange fire, perhaps the residual effects of the monster chakra I had stolen, began to pulse through my limbs. It seemed to start at my churning palm-mouths and work its way up to my torso.

I rolled onto my back and coiled my legs beneath me, arching my spine. I kicked off of the ground, landing on my feet, sandals slapping. My face became almost as twisted as Hisoka's. I regarded him blearily.

"Time hasn't been kind to you, hmm." I stated tonelessly. "Been practicing hard, like a good little boy, I suppose."

"Of course! I knew it would only be a matter of time before you showed your hateful face again, traitor!" Hisoka spat.

"No you DIDN'T!" I shrieked suddenly. (My cover was already blown, anyway…) "You just hoped, you just _wished_ I'd come back!" I swept my sheet of hair aside, holding myself erect in an aggressive stance. "I don't need you artless swine! I don't need your… your organization and controlling security! I need _NO_ security!"

"Then why are you here?" Hisoka threw up his hands exasperatedly. "Why come back? Did your first antinationalist venture not go well? I hear you've gotten around since our last meeting. How many have you killed?" he paused. "_WHO_ did you kill?"

"Who are you interested in knowing about, hmm?" I asked sweetly, almost hysterically. "Your girl, huh? Well, I didn't kill her."

Hisoka's face scrunched up even more than I'd have thought possible.

"_Suzume…_" I said, tasting the name on my tongue. It had been so long since I'd acknowledged her.

"Don't you deny it, you bastard!" Hisoka whispered. His lips were trembling.

"You never blamed me. Are you confused? That was… uh… Isamu, right?" I leered at him. "I did kill his girlfriend, for sure. I'd do it again, too."

"_Stop it_!" Hisoka positively wailed. "This isn't who you are!"

"Who am I, hmm?" I asked coldly. "Compassionate? Naïve? Ignorant, perhaps? Yes. Maybe I was. But I've learned now… all things change, hmm."

"You destroyed Suzume's heart. You broke her at the last moment, before she... You as good as killed her!" Hisoka cried.

"No. Her concern killed her. Not me. It was love," I told him solemnly. "Would it ease your mind to know that I avenged her death? It wasn't done with that in mind, but is that what you would like to believe?"

Hisoka seemed indecisive for a moment. He hadn't been expecting this- I could tell.

"That barely gladdens my heart," he said slowly. "It won't bring her back." He made perfect eye contact with me now. "I'm beginning to understand that want you appear to have. Immediate gratification. Personal fulfillment."

"Oh, really, hmm?"

"Yes… I can't wait to kill you," he said blandly. "You were right. I have been training hard since you skived off." He moved slightly to the side, and I finally caught sight of the symbol tattooed onto his left arm.

"An ANBU already, hmm?" I asked, feeling slightly surprised, but not impressed. I had killed a few of Kusagakure's ANBU squad. The name had once been daunting, but once you broke down all the mystique and secrecy, they weren't anything special. "Very nice, Hisoka," I said sardonically. "Nice if you like little classes like that. What do they call me these days? An 'A' Rank criminal, right?" I laughed shrilly. "It's so easy to progress up the ranks, hmm? Next thing you know, I'll be an 'S' Rank and you'll be Tsuchikage!"

"Your time is up, Deidara," Hisoka said simply.

And then… I was flying through a shattering pane of glass. I couldn't believe how fast Hisoka was moving! I told myself that I was just a little tipsy from the two incidents involving my head, but that didn't change the seething rage that now infused me. (WHAT, WHAT, WHAT was I letting happen?)

I corrected my fall just as I sailed through the window frame (the very same one upon which my ancient sculpture had roosted). I flipped around so that my feet squarely hit the metal wind barrier on the outside porch. I ricocheted off of the panels, hitting the wall beside the lesion in the window. Hisoka leapt out of the broken frame, his figure compressing gracefully to fit.

My palm-mouths finished their projects and set them to the air. I directed one small bird down the porch hall, away from the scuffle. The other I sent straight for Hisoka. His progress had slowed considerably in my mind. He was still recovering his balance from the jump; I observed his knees bending sluggishly, and I saw the way the light glinted off of the vulnerable, pink flesh at the corners of his eyes.

Then I turned and fled after the bird I had dismissed, simultaneously raising my hands in a seal and barking, "Katsu!"

Heat rippled at my back, singing the yellow comet tail that was my hair. The force of the blast propelled me forward, and I saw the finale of the other synchronized explosion flare from behind the next corner. There was an earsplitting 'BANG' and the shrill din of steel tearing into steel. I vaulted through the gaping wound my bomb had rent into the wind barrier.

The rush of cold air was a sudden shock, and as fortifying to the senses as any good dose of soldier pills.

_The canyon… the canyon…_ I thought desperately. I would have to scale the sheer face behind the house if I was to escape. I decided that there wasn't time for me to sprint to my training grounds. _I want him to come after me… can't fly that way, then, hmm…_

Because, oh, yes… We would have closure in this matter. Hisoka would die, and this life's last true remainder would be blotted out.

I sent chakra to my hands and feet, hastily clenching the palm-mouths' teeth (and I could feel the chest-mouth follow suit in its own disturbing way). I scrambled up the wall, messily displacing loose boulders and desert shrubs with my flailing fingers.

Rocks clinked together about twenty meters below me, and when I looked down I saw Hisoka beginning his climb in pursuit of me. Completely unscathed.

_How'd he pull that one off…?_ I wondered. But he wouldn't have left himself so open to my attacks if he didn't have some method of defense; that was obvious.

Me on the other hand… I had been plain old stupid.

"Why the hurry, Deidara? You're not going anywhere," Hisoka called after me.

I ignored him (for the time being) and scrabbled faster. Ahead of me, I saw a sturdy outcropping of thick rock- an interruption in the otherwise pristine complexion of the canyon wall. It was off to my right, at least seven meters away. I found myself regretting the absence of an airborne ride, but it was too late now to do anything about it. My hands were tied, so to speak.

"Hey, there," someone said above me. My heart stung me inside of my chest; it jolted painfully. I pinched my neck at an uncomfortable angle, gazing upwards, squinting against a corona of moonlight. A human silhouette was outlined above me, sitting on the lip of Iwagakure's oyster shell. I watched in a fascinated sort of horror as the newcomer swung his dangling legs in a nonchalant fashion. I recognized his voice right away, because like it or not, this fellow had once, oh so long ago, been part of my genin cell along with that girl (_Suzume_).

"Kazuki? Hayashi, Kazuki?" I asked, displaying my mossy teeth in a feral grin.

"The one and only," he responded emotionlessly. Then he called over my head, "The sentries have been neutralized, Hisoka-san."

There was a murmur of ascent from below me. "Thank you…"

_Teaming up? What the hell…? _

I continued my climb, moving faster than ever before. If I could just get to the ledge before someone plucked me off of the wall…

Behind me, Hisoka's progress was marked by the scattered clacking of loose shale, and the occasional fervent curse. He wasn't too close yet. I couldn't see Kazuki while I moved with such haste, but I would hear him as soon as he decided to head me off. And…!

My fingers wrapped desperately around the ledge of the outcropping. I heaved myself up by my elbows, panting through my mouth.

The first thing I observed about this elevated platform was that it was far larger than it had seemed from my previous vantage point. This wasn't just a little spur of rock… it was a regular plain. I crawled over a small mound of stones, sighing involuntarily when I saw the yawning cavern that had eroded into the cliff face before me.

"_Kuchiyose no Jutsu_," I heard Kazuki say calmly. I glanced over at his position. Two scarlet orbs leaked languidly from his punctured thumb; I saw them shining in the night's light. He put a palm to the smooth ground, and a mass of thick smoke enveloped his form momentarily. When the cloud dispersed, I saw the outline of something horned and hairy standing at Kazuki's side.

I spared the strange duo no more of my attention. Hisoka's pursuit was a little more pressing, as far as I was concerned; he sounded close now.

The cave was beckoning to my needs… but I knew with startling clarity how likely it was that it housed a trap. I'd almost certainly be ensnared if I entered, and that was probably Hisoka's and Kazuki's intentions… But who did they think they were cornering? Even with my back to a wall and a ceiling of solid mountain overhead, there'd be no stopping me. I was _born_ of stone, adopted by sky. I'd blast myself a damned escape route if need be.

My feet scampered swiftly over the uneven terrain, hesitating for the briefest of moments before taking me into the darkness. As soon as I hit the shadows, Hisoka crested the rocky horizon and came tearing after me. His lithe gait was nearly silent, even at that speedy clip. I spun on my heel, whipping my hands into my clay pouch.

"Too slow!" Hisoka yelled triumphantly, sending a lethal kick my way. I blocked it easily; it would seem that he was more adept at fist fighting. I made a mental note. The heel of his palm came at my chin, but I knocked it askew with a vicious jab of my left elbow.

At that moment, Kazuki appeared in the mouth of the cave. I was allowed one opening to observe his long dreadlocks and swarthy hide before Hisoka was on my back again. I saw enough in that second to read the way those lines had scrunched up beside Kazuki's dark eyes. They were unfocused on me.

"Ha!" I screeched, lobbing a clay spider behind myself just in time. I heard Toshi's silent approach go to waste as she fled my explosive. "The same trick won't work twice on me, hmm!"

Three, though… Three versus me. It was nice to see that someone appreciated the danger I could pose.

"Katsu!" I formed a seal with my empty hand, hopping into the stagnant air just as the bomb went off.

BANG!

I rode on the fringe of the minor explosion, sailing over the roiling fireball (almost flying high enough to touch the roof of the cave). I executed a flip that brought me to my feet on the other side of my artsy demonstration. Dust and debris rained down upon me, but nothing massive gave; I had carefully gauged the power of this blast. There was no sense in burying myself alive before the fun had even begun.

I caught sight of Toshi in the fleeting illumination of the BANG. I released another spider –behind me now—and set it to its own devices, detaching my chakra and leaving it with the clear volatility that needed only a hair's disturbance in order to set it off. _You just try and gang up on me, hmm!_

Toshi, caught in the midst of her sneak attack, was now pelting away down the tunnel. I hastened after her, thoroughly enjoying the change in situation. And how I felt alive! My whole body surged with glorious chakra, and I didn't care whether the sensation of power was strictly fictional! It's all in the eye of the beholder, perhaps.

"You just keep running!" I screamed after Toshi. Her tank top shone intermittent, silver bursts in the low lighting. Once or twice, the pair of glass plates she used to amplify her vision glared back at me with baleful intensity. Somewhere farther behind us, the fury of the BANG resounded in all its glory. I barked a harsh chorus of maniacal laughter to accompany the music.

A greenish glow emanated from the apparent dead-end ahead of my prey. The sickly light was blocked momentarily when Toshi jammed herself through a minute crevice. I casually flicked a clay centipede at the wall. The earthy invertebrate immediately dove through the stone, almost seeming to give chase.

"Katsu!" I commanded, putting a forearm across my eyes to protect them from the light showering of pebbles that ensued.

Cackling in a deranged sort of fashion, I stormed through the opening I had created, and…

…dove feet first into a pool of black water. The liquid stole all of the warmth from my body, immediately casting me into a dark haze of baffling numbness. I bobbed to the surface, sputtering obscenities with my first breath of icy air.

"For the love of kami, you needed that…" Toshi hissed through chattering teeth. "When was the last time you took a bath?" She floated a mere ten or so meters from me, when the underground pool (had to be one, really) we drifted in might have had a diameter over a hundred meters wide. It was hard to tell because the strange, luminescent stalactites that bristled from the high ceiling had taken the liberty to grow in fairly small, scattered clumps. I'm sure that if the water had been transparent, we would have seen the stalagmites that bared their matching points beneath us. It made me shiver even more to consider how deep this concealed lake probably was. Fortunate, though. Otherwise, I might have found myself skewered like a shish kabob on some frigid, underwater spit.

Toshi's glasses were misted with steam and dewdrops. She spared not a moment to clear the lenses; Toshi swam swiftly and with a type of skill I had never attributed to humans. Was this girl a fish?

"Months!" I yelled hoarsely. "It's been months since I bathed, hmm!" My palm-mouths moved sluggishly beneath the water. Oh, how my teeth stung! My right hand spat out a warped dud bomb that sank bleakly to the oblivion below. "Damnit!" I cursed. Then, my left hand successfully yielded a piece of clay molded into the shape of a sturgeon-like fish. I formed a clumsy hand sign, and watched as my creation (only a blurred white blob beneath the bleary water) expanded before me. I reached for its long dorsal fin and spurred the fish onwards.

A chilly spray kicked up on either side of me as my work picked up velocity. My blunt form cut a wide wake behind me, and it was only through sheer willpower that I managed to hold on and ram my way through the water. Toshi's unruly, cropped curls dipped up and down in front of me as she surged onwards. Where did she think she was going, anyway? We were like a pair of bacteria, drifting through diseased saliva that pooled up between the fangs of some behemoth.

_You're not going to reach that shore before me. _Wherever it was.

I eased my speed slightly, just enough so that I could release one hand from my death grip on the sturgeon's fin. My fingers ducked beneath the surface to the waiting pouch (which was also making an attempt to float away on me). My palm-mouth's tongue drew the clay in gently, then mashed it with no reservation. I smiled eagerly as I watched the newest fish swim tentatively from the sly maw. I put it to work right away, sending it after Toshi's thrashing form.

"Katsu!" I proclaimed, extending the first two fingers of my empty fist.

I heard only a subdued, disappointing sort of BANG, then the water ahead of me churned violently and flew upwards in a boiling geyser. Toshi weaved a few indecipherable hand signs, but not fast enough. Whatever jutsu she had been planning to block my attack with came far too late. She was swept up on the edge of the colossal disturbance, and in less than a millisecond, I saw her collide with one of the pulsing stalactites on the ceiling. A crimson streak appeared to smear itself across the glowing projection, and Toshi's limp body hit the black water with a heavy slap.

"Now!" I heard Hisoka from across the expanse. He was standing on a ledge (one that I had apparently carved with my explosive) beneath the gash I had rent through the rock. _Still not dead, _I thought peevishly. Though, that also excited me.

Before I had more time to reflect on this, a massive, brown _thing _flew through the entranceway and dove beneath the rippling water. Kazuki appeared behind it, sitting astride some sort of shaggy, white mountain goat. The beast had three sets of thick, curling horns that wrapped around its head and jaws like a keratin helmet. Its button-like eyes surveyed me coldly.

"Is this the so-called _famous_ Deidara-san?" the ruminant asked haughtily in a bleating voice. Kazuki crossed his naked, marked arms. Though he had nothing on Hisoka now, Kazuki's pale battle scars were legendary.

"That's him," Kazuki replied.

"Doesn't look like much," the goat said dismissively, pawing the ground with his sharp hooves. "Gullible, if not idiotic."

The portly creature with brown fur had resurfaced and was now ferrying the assumedly unconscious Toshi to the nearest shore. Not that I could see said shore, but I steered the fish I was riding after Toshi's rescuer.

A curse echoed through the cavern, and Hisoka shouted, "_Doton: One Josho!_"

The miry water began to undulate and jump erratically. Large waves crisscrossed each other, jostling for space as great pikes of stone thrust out of the agitated pool. I had to swerve drastically to avoid one of the growing pillars. I lost sight of Toshi.

"Let's go, Shiroi!" Kazuki spurred the ram on. The beast let out a powerful cry and launched itself from the opening. I twisted around so fast that I put a kink in my neck. I threw a hand into my pouch once more, and as I watched, the conceited goat leapt nimbly from one raised stalagmite to the next.

_NO! _my mind screamed. I was vulnerable down there in the water. With both of my remaining opponents moving above me, I wouldn't have much of a chance to ambush or overpower them. Not floating, at any rate! The bank was too far… too far away.

Unless…

I bared all of my teeth in concentration, willing the clay sturgeon beneath me to _dive_. I allowed myself to be towed beneath the surface, down through the black water. I closed my eyes, leaving the path up to that innate sense of direction I had been born with. The sense that was freezing within my chilled skull. It was so hard to think… so hard to care about anything but escaping the cold and that darkness. The pressure mounted steadily against my temples, and I wondered vaguely if I'd simply drown down here before I found…

But then I finally hit bottom. I felt a jarring impact run through my bones when the sturgeon smashed itself headlong into the floor of the lake, and I counted my lucky stars that it hadn't exploded. Or impaled me on a stalagmite. But my brain- it was going to implode!

My fingertips scraped desperately against the ground, plunging into deep silt. _Doton: Ganjo Ikizumaru! _I thought vehemently, forming the appropriate seals. And praying that this old jutsu wouldn't fail me.

Blind and alone in the darkness, meandering shakily beneath several tons of water, I felt the first true glimmer of terror. It was such a complete sense of paralyzing panic that I hardly noticed the pull that began dragging me back to the muck. Instead of realizing what that tugging meant, I fought fervidly against it. Fought for my _life_. There was unfinished business to attend to! I _had_ to kill Hisoka!

As the last of my oxygen departed from me, I opened my eyes and saw illumination through the gloom.

Then… nothing.

Consciousness returned to me in a burst of cave air and pallid light. I pushed my sopping hair away from my eyes and got to my feet, staggering slightly when a procession of white dots blinked over my vision. The black water was only up to my ankles now, and with one last plaintive sucking sound, the rest of it disappeared into the cracked earth.

Awareness was coming back in jagged increments. I glanced this way and that, taking in the vast basin of sharp cones that I now stood within. My chin started to sag to my collarbone; I jerked it up before I could lose sight of my foe.

Kazuki and his mount had paused on the nearest of Hisoka's pillars. They gazed at me with something akin to surprise. "Fool!" the mountain goat exclaimed.

I dug into my clay pouch with both hands, grimacing up at the two of them. Before either opponent could react, I was firing off my fastest design of sculptures. The double-winged birds zipped through the stalagmites, seeking out Hisoka's artificial enhancements.

"Katsu!" I sneered. Kazuki's swearing was lost amongst the flurry of explosions and crashing pillars. I reached for my clay once again, meaning to create another means of transportation more fitting for the new circumstances, when I saw him from the corner of my eye. Hisoka, holding himself in that odd stance, his fingers making a window through which to frame me.

"_Tera's Wrath: Tesaki-ato-chi-tsuchi-shibousha!_" he roared, releasing the odd seal and making a sweeping motion with his right arm. Almost as though they were magnetized, the rubble I had created from Hisoka's pillars hovered off of the ground, following the arc of his arm. There was only enough time for me to raise my arms and cross them over face and upper body; the fragments came at me with startling speed. I was pelted mercilessly. I felt one of my ribs snap beneath a small boulder. My wet kimono and short pants did little to protect me; they were getting ripped to shreds beneath the onslaught. Finally… the first rain of debris mercifully stopped.

His stolen jutsu had improved…

"Kazuki-san!" Hisoka yelled. He didn't note that I was no longer occupied by an attack.

"What are you worried about?" I said snidely. "You'll still be uglier than him. He's not going to outdo you just because I knocked him off the pedestal." Yeah, I was petty. But I hardly wanted Hisoka to notice the way my hand had slid down my hip and into the clay pouch again.

"You're really grasping at straws now, aren't you?" Hisoka pitched a kunai at me offhandedly. I caught it deftly, swung the blade around, and returned it with its own momentum. Hisoka plucked the knife out of the air and put it back into his spring-loaded holster.

"What can I say? The conditions warrant it, hmm?" I rocked forward, feinting a lunge. Hisoka bought my body language and backpedaled furiously out of reach, repeating a familiar set of seals. I released my rushed creation, formed the seal for 'ram', and leapt into the cloud of steam I had initiated. My flip-flops gave a muffled 'slap' when I hit the clay. Before I had even finished anchoring myself with chakra, I bid the eagle to take off. The bird launched itself skywards without further ado. Obedient, unquestioning. Unfortunately, my haste was nearly my undoing.

The earthy raptor was almost at the peak of its flight path when my chest gave an alarming throb. I felt the blood vessels around my neck seize up, and my hands curled into unwilling fists. Every tendon in my body had been pulled tight. I could feel myself losing control, and I knew what would happen next.

My chakra, already exhausted from my previous effort, wavered drastically, and my knees gave out as the life-force was robbed from them. The chest-mouth opened its jaws wide, blaringly loud in its silent triumph. _Got you this time, chump!_

I slid helplessly from my artwork's back.

In a last ditch effort to provide myself with backup, I sent all of my willpower into my creation's last command.

_Hide… and wait._

**

* * *

**

AN:

Kuchiyose no Jutsu – Art of Summoning

Doton: One Josho – Earth Release: Ridge Rise

Shiroi – lacking colour (white)

Doton: Ganjo Ikizumaru – Earth Release: Sturdy Standstill

Transient has a problem with… remembering things? I made you wait a long time, so this chapter is the longest I've ever posted (approx. 6,747 words).

All reviews are greatly appreciated. And now it's back to purgatory for me!


	28. All Shadows Casting Light

**All Shadows Casting Light**

My limber, incapacitated body hit the ground at an odd angle. I rolled over twice before coming to a stop on the flat plain that was the former underground lake's shore. The lack of control I had over my muscles probably saved me from tensing up and breaking more ribs than Hisoka already had.

I finally got a good look at the thing that had come to save Toshi: a giant platypus wearing an Iwagakure hitai-ate around its broad neck. The creature hissed vaguely through its bill, but I couldn't be bothered with it at that moment; I was currently consuming myself!

I clawed at the front of my kimono, pulling back the folds to reveal the chest-mouth's leering countenance. I cursed the thing for getting aggravated now. It had been ever so calm after I made my escape from the last terrorist cell. Typical of it to wait for another inconvenient time for an attack… The thing seemed to want my submission. Maybe I was giving it a little too much credit, but the chest-mouth appeared _eager_ to finish its masterpiece. Well, _my_ masterpiece. I had an idea of what would happen if I allowed this maw too much more of my chakra. And that would only occur when _I _wanted it. Only when this level of existence had yielded all it could offer.

Kazuki's dreadlocked scalp rose slowly from beneath the line of the embankment. His head was bowed slightly, and a trickle of something _red_ was oozing down his throat. The mountain goat he rode on looked a little worse for the wear. He (Shiroi) bounded the rest of the way up the slope. His ovine face was twisted into a cantankerous expression. One of his six horns had been cracked along the seam that fused it to his skull.

"That went well," he spat irritably, favouring his left front leg. "You're utterly useless, Kazuki!"

"That's enough, Shiroi…" Kazuki muttered. "We were getting there, weren't we?"

I heard a smattering of cracks and thumps- something that sounded similar to the initiation of a landslide. I assumed that was Hisoka's misfired jutsu. The one intended for me before I made my impromptu (and unsuccessful) getaway.

"What happened to the plan, bah?!" Shiroi snapped. "That was poor. What kind of ANBU is your Hisoka supposed to be?"

"Enough!" Kazuki repeated. I guessed that he didn't have a good answer to that. He hadn't done anything to hinder me, after all. Bopping around like that had been a tad distracting, but that was about the extent of his obstruction.

"You sure sank to new depths, hmm," I grunted.

"All to prevent you from going deeper." Kazuki replied without batting an eyelid. "Though, this isn't so much for you… but him." He jerked a thumb behind himself. "I respect Hisoka-san. That he was able to continue living after all that he sustained… Bygones are bygones between us now."

"So I noticed, hmm…" I said with as much scorn as I could muster. I attempted to sit up, at least to get myself off of the ground. This proved futile, however. The chest-mouth took advantage of my exertion, sapping all of the energy I tried to provide my muscles with. I could only twitch. A roar of frustration escaped from between my teeth. "RGGHHH!

"You've got it all wrong!" I said shrilly. "Hisoka is not a hero for bearing his pain! What kind of world is this, anyway? Shinobi are not supposed to _feel_! There shouldn't have been any grief- that's life, and that's the profession. _You can't make human beings into shinobi_. Don't you _dare_ admire him for being weak!"

Kazuki only stared at me. "You really can't know what you're missing out on. You used to be so sensible. And you should have waited, Deidara; the right person would have come along."

"Time's a-wasting, hmm!" I cackled, choosing to ignore the last comment. Though… deep down it made me madder than hell. I didn't need these bleeding hearts ordaining the path of my life. As if _I_ would have chosen to follow the mundane pattern that their lives would inevitably take.

Once again, I attempted to heave myself up. Every tendon in my body screamed for mercy. I ignored my fleshly protests and forced myself up by sheer willpower. The chest-mouth was placated for that moment… I could almost see it parting its ugly lips and leering at me. I must have imagined that, though…

The mountain goat snorted in alarm when he caught sight of the parasitic thing settled over my heart. "What is it?!" His fellow summoning animal, the platypus, only raised its flat head higher, standing protectively between me and Toshi's limp body.

"That, Shiroi, is the real reason this fellow was so dearly missed in Iwagakure."

"It's an artificial kekkei genkai." Hisoka rasped from behind me. I twisted my neck – too quickly _again_- and watched his approach warily. I should have been trying to come up with a way to escape this predicament, but my mind kept drawing a blank. The way these two shinobi were treating me… it was like they believed that they had already won. As if they could now take their time and do as they pleased with me. Hell, no. It wasn't going to end that way. As soon as I got a little more… just a little more chakra… A spasm of anticipation ran through my fingers.

"What's this, hmm?" I spat, trying to buy more time. _Let's get them on a real monologue… and hit those worms when they're still midstride._ Worms. Midstride? I chuckled a little, and that in and of itself brought another generous delay.

"Do you think this is funny? Grace us with your artistic, avant-garde thoughts," Hisoka sneered slightly.

I almost told him exactly what was so amusing, but instead I repeated my original question. Just to throw him off a bit. "What're you talking about, hmm? I'd love to be enlightened."

"You really are an ignoramus, aren't you?" Hisoka shook his head skeptically. Kazuki remained silent. This seemed to be something he didn't want to soil himself with. Even Shiroi didn't say a word.

"You are the living legacy of old man Takumi-sama. Remember that guy? He was your grandfather, in case you forgot."

"Hmm… I do seem to recall that distasteful man." I clenched my fists, feeling the vibrancy of life return to them. Very good.

"You're proof that an artificial kekkei genkai can be created. Takumi-sama as good as made you. Pah! He was more of an artist than you'll ever be!"

I stared at Hisoka for a full thirty seconds. Nobody spoke during our facedown.

Then that tiny drop of nitroglycerin hit the floor of my mind.

(BANG!)

"_Takumi! Takumi!_" I screamed dementedly. "_Takumi…!_ He never had a vision like this! In my position, what would you have done? You'd have done nothing! Moped and sulked and cried and screamed!" (I was doing that myself at the moment.) "None but I could have gone so far! I made art out of this! **I'll show you art!** Only I can make art from this growth, this mess! You're all idiots, hmm!"

(ART! ART! ART!)

My hands shot to my clay pouch, bringing forth my glorious medium!

Kazuki finally reacted. Before I had even begun to finish the initial mashing, his heel made contact with my stomach. A 'whoosh' of air rushed from my lungs, forced out by my assaulted diaphragm. I fell onto my back, hitting the smooth stone hard enough to jar the insides of my skull into another momentary stupor. Despite the sharp jabbing of my broken ribs, I was ready to fly up and throttle the living hell out of whoever was near enough. My hands continued to process the clay in earnest. Hisoka loomed over me, blocking my view of the glowing ceiling. A halo of green light spun itself around his sleek outline.

I was struck silly by the next blow, which flipped me all the way around and threw my aching cadaver at least two meters. I slid the final length of my propulsion across the cold floor.

Facedown on the icy, hard earth, you begin to reassess just what sort of unexpected developments brought you there.

My hands lay palms up on either side of me, staring baldly at the stalactites. I gasped, flinching uncontrollably as a pair of merciless sandals came down on my palm-mouths. Then Hisoka dug his feet in, twisting them around until my lips felt torn and my teeth were throbbing to be broken- if only to release the pressure from my nerves! The clay was still barricaded within my palm-mouths, but the shapes I had been forming were now pulverized.

Fairness was not a concept that I was well accustomed to. I did not deal in it and I certainly did not expect it from any facet of life. But one had to wonder who would keep such a stupid word around if it had passed out of realistic existence. And I couldn't help but think of that word when I was in such a contradictory situation.

"You could always kill me by detonating those." Hisoka murmured calmly from above me. I couldn't actually see him, but I imagined his expression: either smug beyond reasonability, or devoid of emotion. As it was, I never did find out what he looked like at that moment. I felt the pressure on my hands increase slightly.

"But you won't. You wouldn't sacrifice your damn arms. Despite what everyone says about you, you won't give up your precious hands. You wouldn't know what to do with yourself if that happened. Look here! I'm willing to let you blow my legs off, at the very least! _Do it!_"

"You really think I'll do that because you _tell_ me to? More than a few screws are loose if you can even entertain that idea," I hissed, baring my teeth at the floor. My drying lips cracked as I pulled them taut across my jaws

"You're only afraid. You have no real reason for existing, and if I take your hands, then you won't even have an illusion of purpose." I could feel Hisoka's stance relaxing. "While you're being such a good trooper, I'll share a little story with you."

_Here comes the monologue I could have done with earlier…_

"When I came home, when I was spirited back to the village after our slight altercation… I was regarded as a hero."

_Oh, good for you, champ, hmm._

"I worked harder than I had ever done before. And I mean that whatever you saw me do previously… it was nothing. I alienated myself from all but the other victims of that sick atrocity."

"'A' for effort, then. And my ass!" I screeched distractingly. My mind scrabbled at the inside of my skull, searching for nonexistent options. Was my brain swelling? It sure felt like it then. My staggering intellect was suddenly suffocating underneath someone's feet. _My arms, my arms… MY HANDS!_

Hisoka didn't even spare me his disgust. "At first, all I could do was sit still. I remained in a near-catatonic state as my injuries healed, but the stillness in my body gave way to a powerful mechanism within my thoughts." He paused. "What do you think it was?"

I pretended to ignore him, but in truth, I hung on his words. Not because they were interesting, no… I was hoping to find some way to exploit the weaknesses he was baring to me.

Hisoka's heels pivoted on my palms. Goading. "What do you think it was?" he repeated.

"Revenge!" I snapped.

"No! Wrong answer!" He didn't retaliate with his feet. That's what I expected…

I refused to feel gratitude. I would not sink to that degradation.

"You know… if I am to be honest, I was quite angry at first. But that leaves, as you must know. Only a fool will hold onto his rage; there is no way to temper or train it on a target. It is all-consuming and futile in the end- there is no sating vengeance. There is only justice. Only that am I willing to extract from you."

"Then you are sorely mistaken, hmm!" I rasped.

"No. You may yet be of some use to us. I mentioned your… gifted anomaly, did I not?" He waited patiently for me to play the game, but I held my burning tongue. "The artificial kekkei genkai… well, it was I who saw the apparent worth in it." I was sure he must be smiling now. Smug bastard!

"Sssshhhssss…" A whistle of air escaped from between my teeth.

"The other shinobi searched long and hard for your trail, but they didn't find it, obviously. You and Shin became regular nukenin… but it was never that way for me. And obsession is what scared others away from me, and it holds true to you, too. It's not healthy, is it? Who knows…? I may even be willing to accept that one day we'd have ended up on the same side of the line. You've ensured that that will never happen now. You should have run. Your arrogance will be your undoing."

"And you would know of that, wouldn't you?" My legs stirred weakly, but I found myself unable to draw them into a useful position.

"Yes, I would. I do, and I don't deny it. I was blinded by my initial rage, and I overestimated my abilities on that day…"

"You underestimated me, hmm."

"Yes. I did not realize that you could be that selfish."

"I am selfish, yeah." I turned my head uncomfortably, almost to the breaking point, just so that I could steal a glare at Hisoka from the corner of my eye. "But so are you. I can hardly remember why you hate me so."

"But I don't anymore," he said with mock surprise.

"You hunger to kill me, hmm. Do you not feel the bloodlust even now? You _told _me that you can't wait to do away with me!" A flurry of pleasant memories caressed me, despite the implication of my words. Bloodlust spoke of searing warmth and bright colours, light that scoured the eyes.

"Of course! But there's nothing lustful about it anymore. It's justice."

"There _is_ _no_ justice. There is only bloodshed! Explosions! Art!" my voice broke apart like glass. I became silent.

"Going back to the point of this… old man Takumi-sama is dead. He was just as selfish as you. The secret of his jutsu died with him, but the results still live in you. And you have proven to be formidable. If your given talents could be duplicated…"

I started to pant, to hyperventilate. Mimicry?! Miming?! Replication?! Copies?! He spoke of artistic blasphemy.

"Well, even if the particulars of your condition are not useful, then the principle behind them could prove most beneficial. Then… only then I will put you down."

"NO!" I screamed piercingly. I would never make a sound like that again.

"THEN DO IT!" Hisoka cried back. "BLOW YOUR DAMNED ARMS OFF!"

I gasped like a beached trout. Dry, tearless convulsions. My chest shuddered with the unspoken agony. I felt as though my very soulless being was being torn into a million scraps.

Wormfood.

I wanted to writhe in the dust, to feel the realness of gritty dirt down the back of my kimono. I wanted to run with sharp pebbles in my sandals. I needed to stand under a hail of rocks and feel them nestle in my hair and bite into my naked flesh. I wanted my eyes to burn in the light.

"Hisoka-san…!" Kazuki sounded alarmed. "Look!" I had to assume that he pointed off somewhere. Hisoka's weight shifted. It shifted just enough.

He was wrong about rage. It could be directed. Rage was the fuel of gods.

With all of my remaining strength, and all of my wrath, I peeled my torso from the floor. My arms groaned in their sockets, the ligaments within my wrists stretched, the decimated sculptures dropped from my mouths, and Hisoka lost his footing almost immediately. _Still arrogant, still off his guard! _The back of my skull made forceful contact with his groin, and he stumbled away from me, doubled over.

"Ho, Deidara!" a familiar voice called from afar. I scrambled to my feet and almost collapsed. Adrenaline coursed through my veins in strong fury, but I could feel the weariness behind it, the energy that came from nothing but ire.

"Ryota?!" I roared back into the surrounding darkness. A shape pattered through the lakebed, dodging stalagmites and taking on a greenish pallor beneath the stalactites. It _was_ him. And what impeccable timing… (_I would not feel gratitude!_)

Ryota's pointed face came into detail. He ran as swiftly as the wind, greasy black braid bouncing around his shoulders. His bright blue eyes were fixed ahead of him- neon points in the dim light.

Kazuki shouted in surprise. Shiroi, the ram, bellowed and took off down the embankment, picking up momentum in a charge.

"No, wait! Wait, Shiroi!" Kazuki called after him. He swore and began to weave seals, while at the same time, Ryota also formed a sign.

"_Supido…_" The skin around Ryota's eyes began to move. The pulsing ran down from his cheekbones, giving him the look of a melting candle. It had spread all over his body. The bare tissue uncovered by his kimono seethed like boiling water.

_Genjutsu? _I wondered.

Ryota began to laugh. He stretched his arms out and leapt at the storming mountain goat. Shiroi also jumped, springing powerfully from the mucky ground. They met mid-flight, and I saw an amazing thing… Ryota's skin stopped its frenzied surging and, all at once, a shining substance was expelled from his pores. Shiroi twisted through the air meeting Ryota's ribcage with his curling horns. Instead of breaking beneath the blow, Ryota grabbed the ram's head and slid himself over the beast's back, leaving a silvery trail of the liquid. What should have broken Ryota's spine only glanced off of him, almost as though the stuff coming out of him was an armor of sorts.

Ryota hit the lakebed like a two-thousand-pound rag doll. There was an audible 'clunk' when he impacted the stone.

I was finding it difficult to focus, but I forced my adrenaline into chakra -apparently it could be done- and I reached out, searching for the eagle I had created before I inadvertently fell. _Come back,_ I bid it.

Hisoka was still engaged in his helpless squatting dance, and Kazuki was already in the process of summoning another creature. I took a mental photograph of Hisoka and tossed it into the screaming, hysterical void where my humor dwelled. The ecstasy burst forth in waves of relieved and maniacal hilarity.

I threw myself at Kazuki, content for the time being to let Hisoka jig the pain away from beneath his mane of hair.

I clawed at Kazuki, went for his eyes. There was something very satisfying about digging my fingers into the vulnerable jelly, and he had no time to react, caught as he was in the process of a complicated summoning ritual. Agonized sounds came from between his lips, and he threw me off with one arm, breaking the seal he had been holding. Kazuki drew an impossibly long sword from a very small sheath on the back of his Iwagakure chunin vest. His pupils glared balefully out at me from behind masses of extracted meat. He leveled his sword against me. I saw how the green illumination reflected upon its intricate hilt, and the serrated teeth of the blade.

Shiroi let out an agonized moan, but I only glanced in his direction in time to see the animal collapse onto its knobby knees. Ryota stood before it, glistening with that quicksilver. "That's it! I've had it with your ineptitude, Kazuki! You can figure this one out on your own, you petty humans!" the mountain goat bleated. His quavering form disappeared within a cloud of white smoke.

Ryota burst out from the shadows, and came leaping up onto the dry lakeshore. He was covered in a cracking layer of muck (which I had also donned without realizing it). Flakes of filth fell from his clothing, and some of it stuck to the liquid coursing across his skin. His eyes were huge and livid within his flesh.

The summoned platypus, forgotten up until this point, let out a dangerous hiss. It seemed to brace itself for a fight now, but still it held its ground before Toshi's fallen body.

"Take her away! Get her out of here," Kazuki ordered it. "Forget about… the plan…" His words petered away. The platypus obeyed, however. It gathered the limp girl into its forepaws, or flippers… whatever those things were. Another passing drift of smoke ensued, and then all was silent.

"This evens things up a little, eh? You sure are an unfair lot," Ryota said, and I think that all the teasing had passed out of his voice by now. I took advantage of the distraction to reach into my clay pouch. _Good boy, Ryota._

"Who _are_ you?" Hisoka groaned. He had at least managed to right himself by now.

"Just another wandering guy, looking out for another. Gory, didn't you hear old Deidara call my name? Shame on you for your inattention. Though, I see that the family jewels may have been a bit higher on your priorities at that moment." Ryota grinned coldly at Hisoka, clearly pleased with his own glibness.

"This one's a Kirigakure rogue. I recognize him from the roster," Kazuki commented bleakly.

"Do you fellows memorize that thing? Wait. Stupid question, right?" Ryota chuckled, reaching behind him for a small baggie on his belt. The two remaining Iwagakure shinobi grew visibly tense, but Ryota only pulled out a small bottle. He casually downed a couple more soldier pills, then stowed his rations away.

"These two are more uptight than an acrobat in a straightjacket." Ryota's eyes narrowed and the evil malice crept into them once more. I remembered this kind of anger; he'd shown it when the last terrorist cell betrayed him. Well, both of us, actually… but I had been expecting it.

"You think you're better than us, but you'd go to the same dirty means as this scoundrel here." He jabbed a finger in my direction… which succeeded in pissing me off even more, because I had been working on an explosive. Hisoka and Kazuki suddenly noticed this. They bolted.

"Get up, hmm!" I cried, lobbing an undefined, clay invertebrate at them.

_BANG!_

A great breeze buffeted my frail being to the ground as the bomb showed its ferocity, and at the same time, my earthy mount landed behind me, wings stiffly outstretched.

Ryota _did_ need to be told twice. "Get up!" I shouted again. He hesitated.

"No- look at them!" he told me. I did. Kazuki had been knocked to the ground, but he was getting up again and coming right back at us. Hisoka was climbing out from behind a shield of stone that he had pulled from the ground.

I understood. They were not running… and I would not flee. I had made too many exits in this fashion.

I spun around, going inexorably for Hisoka. Ryota took to Kazuki, flying at him like a magnetized filing. I briefly observed the way that Kazuki's precise swordsmanship glanced off of Ryota's silvery skin…

Then Hisoka was engaging me in combat… for the last time. I came at him without a clear plan. I was simply going to test how far this adrenaline would carry me. The chest-mouth couldn't take it away, and my ecstasy was building up with the surety of victory.

"Here, hmm!" I pivoted on the balls of my feet, hopping halfway through my stride, bringing my sandaled toes up and forcing Hisoka to counter. He caught my heel and yanked it to the side, pulling me to the dust beside him. I took that moment to rake my fingers down the side of his vest, smearing him with Kazuki's blood. Miniscule, lice-like bombs sputtered from my palm-mouths and burrowed into his clothing. He noticed this and tightened his grip on me, refusing to let me gain ground. His face was a warped mask of thick, unreadable scar tissue, as he hefted me around, lifting me completely off of the ground. I hung upside-down before him.

"Again, I say: _Then do it_," Hisoka whispered.

"Very well!" I choked, forming a seal. "Katsu!"

_BANG! _

I was thrown from Hisoka by the force of the blast. I curled myself into a flexible coil, allowing my body to be vaulted carelessly off the lakeshore. I let go of my knees at some point, probably while I was still in the air. The stagnant air whipped past my raw cheeks, biting into the burns that now covered my body.

Red. The explosion had taken on the most impossible tint of scarlet to it. It seemed to last forever, this adrenaline-fueled fire. The 'bang' was so glorious… so bright. I guessed that that was what happened when you fed it nothing but your very life force: chemicals and instincts!

The shockwaves carried me into the spiked basin… I didn't have time to cushion my fall or contemplate the stalagmites I was heading towards. It was by shear luck that I missed the pointed top of the nearest projection. I hit its base, instead- which knocked the wind out of me, not for the first time that day. I slid down the gentle angle, feeling my kimono ride up my back, and finally disintegrate away. My mesh shirt was frayed and prickly against my sensitive skin. At that point, I wasn't even sure if I was still wearing pants or not. My stinking hair had formed a veil that eclipsed my vision. It was so tempting just to lay here and feel that cool stone on my flaming flesh… let it lull me off to… nothing…

_What?_

_Not darkness… surely not darkness…_

"_Don't close them!_" I bellowed, jolting myself out of unconsciousness. My eyes snapped open again, and a surge of new adrenaline got my heart pumping. Somewhere, miles away, the chest-mouth howled in frustration.

I sprung forwards, climbing the embankment feverishly.

There lay Kazuki, bleeding out from a thousand small wounds, his swarthy complexion getting paler by the second. His sword was a discarded memory, and he had very nearly died upon it.

And here was Hisoka. A charred thing of the past. Still breathing. And who was that standing over him? Not…

"No, Ryota!" But my mouth stopped pouring out sound. I couldn't speak anymore.

My work… my work was about to be finished by someone else.

Ryota was cloaked in a coat of mercury spikes. One very large, deadly barb protruded from each palm. I felt insulted by them.

In and out, in and out… the daggers worked their way through Hisoka's prone body, puncturing every square inch of skin, rupturing all of his vital organs. I lay on the hard shore, too weak to stand now. The power was draining away… there was only horror now.

The other shinobi finally looked up. His form was drenched in shining blood; it floated above the mercury, coalescing in strange patterns. His feral sneer mirrored some expression that I had once contorted my facial muscles into.

"Get the bird," he said.

I was too numb, too weakened to do anything but just that. It alighted heavily beside me. I was going to crawl up its leg, but Ryota came to me. He put his hands beneath my armpits and leapt with me onto the eagle's back. I was allowed to slump against its icy feathers. "Deidara? Are you okay?"

_Stupid question._

"Hey, man… you've got to get us out of here. The peace won't last forever."

_No, it won't. I'll explode when this hits._

Silently, I directed my creation skywards. The clay raptor took wing, soaring upwards in the ghastly chamber.

"What of the other…? What of Kazuki?" I croaked.

"He's got mercury poisoning. That one won't last long even if he makes a couple days without blood," Ryota replied. His tone was scornful. "Now, please… Let's leave!"

I sank the teeth of my skull into my stead, too weary to reach for more from the pouch. Ryota had finally sensed the level of my distress; he said no more. I mashed down on the bitter clay.

Chewed. Chewed. Chewed.

Then, leaning over the shoulder of my eagle, I vomited a shapeless paste onto the floor of the cave. When I was finished, I commanded the bird through the original entranceway, now so many meters above the prickly ground. The opening I had rent was more than large enough to allow us through, wings and all.

The rocky path zoomed by beneath me. I didn't both to wipe away the thick spittle that still pooled ceaselessly from my mouth. I formed the appropriate seal with my hands beneath my belly. "Katsu…"

The resulting _BANG_ seemed to shake the very particles of oxygen around us. Bright and beautiful light spilled from behind us. Growing and glowing…

The mountains trembled, then convulsed. We rushed out of the crevice, propelled along by a plume of flame. The heat was almost unbearable to my epidermis, but it provided something comforting to my aching mind. Somehow, I still wasn't sure if I had wanted to instantly extinguish Kazuki's life… and incinerate Hisoka's body. It might have been more fitting to let them rot, fester, and fade. But it was done now. I had made art this one last time here.

"Kami…" Ryota breathed. I turned painfully and watched my spectacle unfold. Iwagakure was growing smaller, but the mouth of that cave still spewed its radiant judgment on the village. A monstrous 'crack' resounded off of the walls of the canyon.

At first, it appeared that nothing more was going to happen… but then a great rift began to crawl up the cliff's side. It originated at the spewing cleft, and then boomed up and down the face of the rock, pouring forth more of that eternal fire. The earth pulsed, and suddenly a great slab of stone wrenched itself away from its solid foundation. With a colossal rumbling, it went down, caving in on itself and bringing great waves of fine dust down upon my former allegiance. Smoldering boulders of a gargantuan size rode the air like fireflies. Still… the wall came down.

I have to assume that thousands died beneath it.

* * *

**AN:**

Kekkei genkai – bloodline limit

Supido – dispel (speed)

It will finally be time for the illustrious Akatsuki organization to make its comeback in Deidara's life. Next chapter… I think we can count on it.

Thank you for the reviews and favs! Every single one of them is greatly appreciated.


	29. Akatsuki: The First Act

**Akatsuki: The First Act**

Ryota's breathing was even and calm. So unsuspecting, so innocent… He trusted me with something parallel to childishness. But a child, after all, _has_ to live with the creatures that spawned it… or the things that took it into their possession. And while still young and naïve, it must depend upon its guardians. It knows nothing else, and has no understanding of the cruel forces that conspire against it outside of its den. These children are even more helpless against the evil within their homes.

So it came… that Ryota lived beside me as an unassuming child. And I had murder in my heart every day that I spent with him.

I sat by him, watching his serene sleep. He drifted marvelously between violence and longing; I could see the way his face changed when he dreamed. Currently, the corners of his mouth were raised slightly. He pulled the rags of an old blanket tighter around himself, trying to wrap out the cold of the night.

I knew now that if his body temperature were to go down too far, the mercury inside of him would solidify, and that… would most likely be the end of Ryota. He told me everything. How his technique worked- no, it was no kekkei genkai, he said. He had learned some of the secret art of Doku Mahi (which reminded me forcefully of my Amegakure experience) and used it in his own clever way, combining the deadly mercury with water, which he cooled to solidify his armor when outside the body, and heated for storage within himself.

Ryota informed me that he had been following me ever since I abandoned the terrorist cell we worked in together. The reason: he found me fascinating.

But that wasn't enough to spare his existence. He had taken Hisoka's life- stolen the kill from me. It was something that I had needed to do, and it had been selfishly snatched right out from beneath my nose.

I stood over or sat beside him every night. He always slept so much…

Something stayed my hand each time the vast rage coursed through my blood. I refused to think of it as _gratitude_. I was… just waiting. Waiting for the most satisfying moment. I had to see the life leave his eyes, and I wanted to enjoy blowing him apart… bit by bit. I wanted to hear him scream, and I longed for him to writhe before me, to personify all the dismay within me.

**~.x.X.X.x.~**

Some weeks had passed since we'd left the crumbling ruins of Iwagakure. Ryota and I took up residence within one of the many temples speckling the Land of Earth. The decadent, cabalistic gods and ornate demons watched over us while we slept. They bore silent witness to my nightly exploits.

Limbs, limbs, limbs… the occasional torso. I stole body parts. Most had come from the monks who once visited this spiritual palace, but I'd eventually run out of spares. I never experimented on living humans; something about that left a sour taste in my mouth. I refused to even attempt to give them the _gift_ while there was still a possibility that they could use it. Doing such a thing… would remind me of Hisoka's conclusion. _If your given talents could be duplicated…_

Well, I supposed that they could be recreated. I was intent on finding out how. No longer would the source of my art be a mystery to me. I could truly make the origin mine. There would be more…

Dead flesh. Stagnant chakra…? Heh, no matter.

Hell, it was something to pass the time with, at the very least. Ryota expressed no ambitions to move on, and neither did I, for the time being. All of my manic energy had temporarily abandoned me after Hisoka's death. I'd move when the itch came back, but it hadn't yet…

Meanwhile, I lived vicariously through Ryota. He foraged for our food (and by that, I mean that he usually stole groceries, or used a henge to go scavenging). Sometimes I brought the supplies back.

Now… no one but the occasional pilgrim approached our domain, and we more often than not let them pass through unharmed if they displayed no shinobi training. The ninja, on the other hand… we masked our presence or eliminated them. This style of living could not go on for too much longer; we both knew that it would be only a matter of time before an important someone on a known mission went missing in our area… and then Iwagakure would become involved again.

**~.x.X.X.x.~**

The wind tousled my recently cleaned hair out from in front of my eyes. I had loosely tied the bulk of it behind my head, but my uneven bangs still refused to submit. I was clothed in the same pair of cutoff pants that I'd been wearing for longer than I cared to remember. Ryota, in another show of generosity, had quite literally given me the shirt off his back; he had rustled up another net top and lent me his green kimono- the one trimmed with thick, white fabric. He'd found a chain for me to anchor my pouch to the belt I now wore (I had no desire to be rendered null in the middle of battle).

My standard of hygiene had improved exponentially. That came with staying in one place for a while, I supposed. There was a crisp little waterfall that wended into a river not far from our temple; I bathed there whenever the fancy struck me. Sometimes I heated the water by new and increasingly risky means. One time, after I had planted a low-grade explosive at the bottom of a small pool, several massive fish had been blown clear out of the water. Ryota had been absolutely charmed. Positively _tickled_.

Sighing, I strode past the neighboring temple (ours and the one next to us rarely saw use these days). Its roof sagged from a little more than architectural intention, and a few of the clay shingles had abandoned both buildings. The two structures were complementary to each other, but I wasn't entirely sure how. I didn't even know who the stony figures that adorned these places were supposed to be. Parts of some old, shabby religion forgotten amongst the hills; its last keepers had been fodder for my addiction.

I passed the unkempt shrubs at the temple's entrance, withdrawing into the darkness of its interior. I turned back once, on a whim, just to briefly survey the mountaintops visible off in the distance. Winter's icy grip had released the lofty peaks. The greenery had come back into its own, but I felt the suspense of fall around me.

Our place of refuge was falling into disrepair. There was no door to bar the thieves or vagrants, nor the elements which ate up far more detail than any human had so far. By consequence, the plaster on the walls was crumbling and cracking to reveal a wire framework beneath. The floorboards were rotten in places. A serious of wrinkled paper lanterns swung lazily overhead, at the mercy of every breeze. A tarnished banister corralled the statues along each wall, save for at the end of the rectangular building. There were four figures (very similar to the other ones) positioned here. Gazing at the temple's interior from its entrance, one could imagine that it might have been impressive at some point, when people had still looked after it or monks had lived near.

All of the monuments held their hands before their chests in the same seal: tora. Their faces ranged in expression- some seemed malicious, others merely stern, and a few had their fanged mouths open in rage. Each shinobi creature had a steel nimbus behind its head; these interested me the most. I found something unpleasantly familiar about them. There was a ghastly aura around the statues' static, eroding forms. Their engraved armor and fabrics became fuzzier with the years.

Ryota was sprawled across the floor, using one of our scrounged blankets as a membrane between him and the damp boards.

"Hiya," he murmured, not bothering to look up from the perverted book he had stolen.

I had no patience for automatic formalities, so I ignored him.

"How's the water today?" he asked offhandedly.

"Frigid," I said curtly.

He chose not to acknowledge my frosty attitude. He was always that way, pretending not to notice the animosity I held towards him.

Ryota ran his gnarly fingers through his oily hair, pausing to scrub them furiously against his scalp. Little white flakes clung stubbornly to his dark tresses. His braid had disintegrated into a matted clump that bobbed around at the base of his skull. I felt another surge of anger. It infuriated me to be wearing identical clothing, to be living in the same building as him…

"Say… Deidara…" he began, hesitant now. My internal defenses locked themselves into place.

"What, hmm?" I watched him sit up slowly. His expression was troubled; his eyebrows were canted at a slight angle, and his mouth was turned down.

"I've noticed something different lately. I was wondering if you did… By any chance…"

"I notice many different things, Ryota. The seasons are changing, the arms are running out, and why haven't you brought me any fresh eggs?" I demanded.

"That's not what I mean," he said. He rolled his eyes, though not intentionally. A little too many soldier pills today, perhaps.

"Then get to the point, hmm." I wandered over to the nearest statue, settling myself to lean irreverently on it.

Ryota put his novel aside carelessly. "There's been this chakra… I've sensed it for a little over a day now. I thought at first that I might've been imagining it. Now I'm not so sure."

"What does it feel like?" I asked him, leaving my tone skeptical.

"Huge. And kind of… familiar," he said nervously. I noticed that he had started to fidget with the edge of the blanket.

"…And that means?" I watched him warily, already not believing this fantastical story.

"Well… there was this bloke back in Kirigakure… He was a member of our most feared group of shinobi, and he had the most extraordinary chakra… I'd never felt anything like it before -never did since, either- and it just used to _hang_ over the whole village. Even a little whelp like myself knew when he had defected. That horrible presence just disappeared one day."

"You think it's here, right now?" I smirked slightly. "And… you believe that I wouldn't have felt it, hmm?"

"I don't know." Ryota frowned. "I found the swamp, remember? I'm good with this kind of stuff."

"Even if this person was suppressing his chakra, from the sounds of it, I should've sensed it," I said petulantly. He was really starting to get me fired up.

"I was around this chakra for longer than you." Ryota's voice had gone up an octave. "I _know_ it!"

"What do you propose I do, then?" I threw my hands into the air. "Are you afraid? Do you want to run away?"

Ryota surprised me by saying, "Oh, hell, yes! Let's go. I know when I'm outclassed, and I don't want to be around here when this guy arrives. He might even be watching us right now…"

I glared at him and actually bared my teeth. "Flee! Get out of my sight! You disgust me!"

"Don't be unreasonable, Deidara." Ryota smiled wryly at me. "You aren't a fool."

"How do you know that?! What I am to you matters not to me, hmm! You don't understand me."

"Fine. Help me to understand you. Do you want to talk about art?" Ryota taunted. "'_Art is transient, a fading thing, blah, blah, blah...'_" he imitated me scornfully. "Get your head out of the clouds, man. This is life or death we're talking about here."

"Art is life _and_ death!" I yelled back. "If you don't get away from me, I will destroy you!" My itchy hands had already buried themselves in my clay pouch.

Ryota got up. He gathered his blanket and book, then walked calmly, deliberately, around me. I hopped over the banister, positioning myself between him and the only visible exit.

"You said that you wanted me to go. That is what I'm doing," he said reasonably.

Several conniving ideas passed through my mind, and I stepped aside. My hands dropped down to my sides again. Now they were full of clay.

I observed Ryota's unhurried retreat for a couple of seconds, then I began to follow him out. He glanced behind himself, looking a little pleased.

My hunger carried me past the other temple and a good kilometer down the road that led away. I trailed behind Ryota until he turned around bemusedly, discomfort written on every line of his face. He must have just realized that he wasn't being followed.

He was being stalked.

I spoke up. "Did you think that you could pester me for your entertainment?" My tone had gone flat. It rose with my emotion. "Did you think that I'd endure your company for the rest of my days? Did you think that you'd 'figure me out'?" I paused to suck in air. "DID YOU THINK THAT I'D LET YOU GET AWAY WITH TAKING MY KILL FROM ME?!" I roared.

Ryota turned tail. I pelted after him, throwing four C2 birds in pursuit. I let my palm-mouths concoct more bombs. His reaction had only fueled my bloodlust to new heights. Some ancient instinct within me took after him like the prey that he was.

**~.x.X.X.x.~**

I had driven Ryota down the mountainside, bombarding him with minor attacks that only blasted him a few feet forward at a time. I worried his every step, delightedly drawing out his suffering and waiting for the perfect, precise moment when I'd take him down with my final vengeance. But that never happened.

I was in the midst of creating a particularly nasty sculpture when it came to my attention that… he had vanished. I searched the area of the most recent explosion, wondering if I might have missed his body- maybe strewn across a few trees, or caught in the bushes. I found nothing. Ryota must have used a substitution jutsu… or maybe he'd hidden his chakra from me. Brave bastard that he was, he'd come at the Iwagakure shinobi armed only with his mercury and susceptible water type chakra. Now he'd fled from an earth-user just as easily as he'd dispatched several.

By the time I gave up the chase, the sun had almost descended below the craggy horizon, and the sky was fading from clear blue to rusty pinks and oranges. As I climbed the slant, I took the time to enjoy the bright colours. They were so much more… friendly than the day, more vivid than the night. I felt the chill of the approaching darkness, but the warm hues seemed to keep it at bay. It was like someone had spilled layers of chemical fire into an immense, suspended ocean overhead.

My steps took me past the first temple and carried me all the way up to the entrance of my makeshift home.

I halted.

Something did not feel right. Was it that small clod of disturbed earth? Maybe more leaves than before were lying on the ground, parted from their shrubby branches. Was the dust freshly churned here?

Or it was that massive power undulating through the building…

"Who's there?" I called impulsively. Instead of waiting for an answer, I bolted through the entrance, intent on finding the culprit while they were still gathering their thoughts.

I skidded and stopped several meters away from the people who stood serenely within my sanctuary. I had to blink rapidly to adjust my vision to the darkness inside of the temple. My mad dash would have thrown me right upon my visitors, but I had felt the terrible chakra before I'd seen the shinobi, and I allowed myself to go no closer.

"Deidara, is it? We've been waiting for you," said the tallest man. And he was monstrous. Easily six feet tall, this ninja's skin was pale, fleshy, and blue… I immediately took note of the gill-like structures that rested over his cheekbones, and his tiny, humorous eyes. His voice had a quavery quality to it, which sounded odd coming out of such a large man. The bandaged sword (or at least, I assumed it was one) which was tied to his back seemed even longer than he was. It rested at an angle, so as not drag when he walked. He wore a Kirigakure hitai ate…

None of my shock at seeing him or his companions translated to my face. I glared at his cohorts.

The fish man stood between two other people. To his right was an ordinary sort of fellow who I dismissed right away. He had long, black hair, and despite his apparent youth, there were deep lines that ran down from the hollows of his coal-like eyes, and the bridge of his common nose. This one had a Konoha headband.

On the other side of the speaker was something I was not quite sure what to make of… It had a head like a man, albeit with a very unfortunate choice in hairstyle. The streaks of dark hair (punctuated by bald strips) stood up at the back, giving it the look of a belligerent rooster. Its miniature, mad pupils only solidified my impression. The lower half of the creature's face was shielded from view by a triangular scarf. Its body was rounded; the thing jutted from the floor like a stumpy little hill. I wondered how it would move… were it to come after me.

The two forehead protectors that I could see were defaced; the symbol of each village had been marked through with a jagged scratch. All three of the shinobi were garbed in black cloaks with high collars, collars that reached past their chins. Some dim, faraway part of me was staggered by the design on their cloaks. Red clouds, outlined in white… Recognition began to seep unpleasantly through the folds of my brain.

"Do you remember a certain person you worked with a while ago? Zetsu-san? I believe he informed you about Akatsuki's intentions regarding you." I saw the flash of sharp, deadly teeth when the fish man spoke.

"Akatsuki, you say?" I glared at him. "As if I care about that! Don't interfere with my enjoyment of art!" What did that mean to me? (_Don't bother my experiments, don't get involved in my freedom, don't make me have to uproot just yet.)_ I had a feeling that this wouldn't end easily…

"So I really have to make this brat my partner…" muttered the masked thing. Its voice was low and gravelly, but I could identify it as male. "He's got spunk, but he's the kind that ends up getting himself killed before you know it…" His thin brows seemed perpetually pinched, and as I regarded him, the humped creature's eyes moved to my own. It was unnerving to see them just… spin, unbound in their sockets. His brownish skin wasn't pliant in the least. He stared woodenly at me, and I broke eye contact.

"It's the Leader's orders. His abilities will serve our cause," said the most unremarkable man of the trio. His deep tones were clipped slightly, and he spoke as though I wasn't even present.

"You know about my abilities already?" I thought that I might know why, too… The recent display involving Ryota had hardly been subtle. "Who are you, anyway?" I barked.

They didn't answer my question. Instead, the talkative fish man affirmed, "You have been involved in antinationalist terrorist cells in surrounding countries, causing a number of explosions, correct?" He paused, offering me what was supposed to be a friendly grin. "For what reason would a rogue ninja like yourself do such things?"

"Reason…?" I said blankly. "Why would I need one of those? I merely took on contracts to blow things up… With my art, that is, hmm!" I couldn't help the last bit from slipping out. It made the rest seem valid.

"Your art?" the humped figure asked. And something… something in the way he pitched that question immediately piqued my interest in him. He hit number one on my priority list. I had heard curiosity in his voice, and more than that… recognition. It goaded me on more than anything else.

I reached into my clay pouch. None of the shinobi assembled took concern, which made me feel all the more weary. My hand processed the clay I fed it, divulging a plump spider the size of my palm. I held it before my chest like an offering that I wasn't quite willing to give away.

"Well? Isn't it something? The product of pursuing refined line work, mated to two-dimensional deformation, hmm! Now this is art!" I proclaimed… My words grew louder as the tirade began. "But my art doesn't end here… None of my works are static. While they have physical form, they are little more than models, hmm!" I leered dementedly at the small group before me. "But this explodes!" I said with excitement, spitting slightly.

The fish man held his silence. His gaunt features were slack with confusion.

"And with that explosion, its essence is propelled to greatness, at that moment becoming the true work of art I intended! True art lives only in that fleeting moment of grandeur, hmm!" I was yelling at this point- mouth wide and happy. I threw my free hand into the air, too caught up to notice or care what the others' reactions might be to the lolling tongue protruding from it.

There was a moment of nothing. Then…

"Damn… he's annoying…" rumbled the humped one.

"Is he done now…?" the fish added awkwardly.

"Who knows…" the dark-haired man said softly. "Doesn't matter, though… I'll take care of this." He moved away from his companions, and my gaze turned hungrily to him. I felt a thrill course through me when I looked into his vacant eyes… They changed! His irises became crimson, and three more tailed pupils had materialized in a ring around each of the originals. This unknown quantity watched me through thick lashes, his strange eyes quiet and cold.

_What are these…?_ "You wanna fight me?" I asked tauntingly, leaning forward with a threat in my body language… and longing.

"If I defeat you, then you'll come with us," he stated, keeping his entire composure placid.

"Don't underestimate me… or my art!" I sneered. The spider changed hands, and my left palm-mouth dove for clay. "My ninjutsu is the very pinnacle of artistic accomplishment, hmm!" A centipede took form within my left hand, while I lobbed my arachnid creation at the impassive bastard.

He hurtled backwards, away from the bomb, into the wall behind the four important statues. The explosive followed him in an arc, and I drew the fingers of my right hand into the seal. _Katsu!_

_BANG!_

In the resulting turmoil (the hail of plaster and the flying shrapnel), my clay centipede slithered lithely down my leg and burrowed into the floor, quick as an eel. I put a foot over the slim hole it had rent in the boards.

My opponent skidded out of the dusty blast, pausing to regard me once more. I should have realized something was wrong when he did that, but I put his lapse in concentration down to arrogance. My mouth stretched smugly as he looked down, finally noticing the stealthy invertebrate's progress. It had scuttled beneath the floor and gnawed a gash through the wood. By this point it was too late for him. The centipede had shuttled up his leg and wrapped its many segments around his body, pinning his arms to his sides.

"Is that all you've got?" I asked him, impertinent with victory's bloody charm. _End of the line for you…_ I thought, forming my killing seal.

"You should take a closer look at yourself first," he deadpanned.

"…!"

A veil moved away from my senses, and I suddenly felt the constricting pressure that bound my arms to my midriff. I glanced downwards at myself, and a nasty shock ran through my spine. The centipede was around _me_. It was ready to blast _me_ into oblivion.

"That was close. You were just about to blow yourself up," the fish man chortled.

"Like I said, he's going to get himself killed in no time…" remarked the humped figure, sounding resigned.

"Genjutsu…?!" I choked. "When did you manage to…?"

"From the very beginning. You were bound by the illusion from the moment that you looked into Itachi-san's eyes," offered the fish man.

I glanced back at the far corner where the dark-haired man had last been, but his image had vanished. As the cloud of filthy powder dissipated, a bright light shone in my eyes, and I squinted, struggling to see the silhouette that remained immobile in the opening my explosion had torn apart.

The waning sun was at his shoulder, and it spilled past him, reflecting dull, sanguine tinges onto the halos of the effigies. Those scarlet orbs smoldered in the gloom, and I realized that the nimbuses on either side of him… by kami… they were also his eyes?!

They were… beautiful! The most powerful, moving thing that I'd ever seen! The presentation was spectacular!

_This… __**is art**__…! _My stunned mind gasped. I could feel myself breaking out in a cold sweat.

My mouth opened, and I nearly said something that I'd regret… then I abruptly regained my poise. The rapture was extinguished. A furious, burning fuse lit up inside my head.

I grunted audibly, "Tch!" The centipede dropped limply off of my body. Dead now.

_How could I be taken in by someone else's abilities like this…?! You're telling me this is art?! _I asked myself. _That ocular jutsu… it was not art! Spare me! I will not acknowledge it… EVER!_

My right hand had the lower half of my skull in a death grip. I could only close my eyes and hold my head very still. Then I jerked my face upwards, peering maliciously at this man, _Itachi_, from between my curled fingers. I showed him my teeth, unwilling and unable to hide my anger and indignation.

"You've lost," said the god.

I lost.

_I lost._

**I LOST?**

The word began to seem more and more nonsensical with every pass through my consciousness. I could not lose. That was impossible. I had writhed my way out of every undesirable situation that had ever confronted me. Was I really trapped?

"Time to leave now, Itachi-san?" The fish man sounded unsure, and in that moment I knew who was wearing the pants between them. And speaking of pants… they were all clad in the same dark blue ones, coupled with those white leggings that wrapped beneath the arch of their identical sandals. Conformity was a standard here? I squirmed internally, wondering what they might ask me to do or wear.

Well, they could try. Oh, they could try all they wanted. Half of my mind was already preparing to make escape plans, while the other part… it was devising cruel and humiliating deaths for this Itachi.

Itachi had given a nod of assent, and the fish man beamed, taking me in fully now.

"I am Hoshigaki Kisame. Pleased to make your acquaintance." The huge guy inclined his head politely. Nice manners for one so intimidating… It was his chakra I was feeling, for sure. "You've already met Itachi-san, personal enough. Now it's time to leave, Deidara. We have many things to do. You lost, after all."

"Stop… saying… that!" I snarled, taking an unconscious step backwards as he approached me.

"You don't want to make this any more difficult, do you?" Kisame crooned. I could hear a hint of violence in his shaky voice, and I had a feeling that it trembled not from fear, but something akin to suppressed bloodlust or ecstasy. He leaned forward and swiftly took my upper arm in a viselike grip. "You're of more use to Akatsuki with all limbs intact. Don't you agree?" My heart skipped a beat as my private fear was laid bare.

"Come along, brat. You're embarrassing yourself," grumbled the humped man… who still hadn't been introduced. That nameless thing was to work with me?!

"So that's it?" I cried. "I join another of the hundreds of petty farces seeking personal fame, glory… overall control- in other words, world domination? Is that what you would have me become? One of you?!"

"I think you should shut up, brat," said the humped man. "You don't know why you're here or what you will be doing."

"Yeah, that's the point! What makes this organization better than the others? What makes you think that you won't fall into mediocrity as easily as everyone else, hmm? You can't have a better reason for assembling like this!" I struggled against Kisame's grasp until the pressure he exerted threatened to break bone.

"You can't know a pair of shoes until you've walked in them. Though I admire your lack of resignation, hold your impudent tongue until you can give an educated opinion on these matters," rasped the humped man.

Impatient with the proceedings, he began to shuffle past Kisame and me. He moved like an anxious slug, hasty yet deliberate, sliding forward a little at a time in rapid increments, stopping only to reposition whatever appendages he had under that cloak.

I glanced around my temple, probably for the last time. Took in the decimation. When my eyes strayed to the hole, I saw that Itachi had already disappeared.

"What's that ugly fellow's name, hmm?" I asked Kisame. Despite his menacing appearance, he appeared to be the most reasonable of the three. He gave me another toothy grin.

"That's Sasori-san. You're to be his new partner," Kisame announced. I gazed up at him cynically, then down at his hand, still wrapped around my arm.

"Nail polish…?" I asked him, eyeing the midnight-blue paint on his nails. He grimaced slightly, then hid the expression just as quickly as it had come.

"Later, later…" he said offhandedly, beginning to drag me out through the entrance. He seemed unwilling to release me, so I made a point of digging my heels in whenever it was possible. My efforts didn't hinder him much; he pulled me along like I was no more than an obstinate child. I wanted to fight back, but my better judgment informed me that I'd be seriously outmatched against two opponents who knew my technique, and one who had already defeated it.

"Where are we going?" I questioned Kisame. My heels slid across the slick floor, but I was forced to walk when we hit the dirt outside. I would have fallen onto my face had I kept the routine up, and I was certain that the fish man wouldn't have stopped for me.

"One of our temporary bases," he said, content with indulging me.

"Do you ever stop running that mouth of yours?" grumbled the thing I now knew was Sasori. We had caught up with his edgy pace. Itachi now strolled beside him, taking the way down the hill with the leisure of one who didn't need to be watching his back.

"Not if I don't get answers," I shot back at him. "You better…" I broke off, distracted by the pain that had bloomed up the left side of my chest. I suppressed a shudder.

None of the Akatsuki members acknowledged my response. But the feeling of watchfulness didn't leave… Nothing was escaping their attention.

We went all the way down the path on the hill, until I reached the bottom and could no longer stave off the agony that was spreading through my veins. I seized up suddenly and was tugged over before Kisame halted.

Sasori rotated on the spot, his mean little eyes narrowing plastically.

"The problem is in his chest," Itachi said serenely, not bothering to turn. "It's a chakra inhibitor. Chronic and not an immediate concern. It can be dealt with."

I gagged, struggling to keep the chest-mouth in check, but the more I panicked, the faster it overtook me. "No…" I said weakly. Kisame bent over me, but I hardly noticed his probing fingers. "No…!" I said louder.

"Kisame…" growled Sasori. I couldn't see him from beneath the fish man's bulk, but I heard a menacing rattle.

"Yes, I know. You don't like to wait." Kisame laughed eerily. "Have a care, would you? This is going to be your backup," he sniggered.

"The brat isn't worth my time if he can't make it to the base. Now let's continue… I grow weary of these delays." Sasori moved away.

The attack was aggressive this time, and my vision began to fade and fuse shapes together. It hurt to breathe. Though I couldn't obtain any coherent images, my hearing had somehow grown more acute. There was the rustling of fabric, and I felt the earth drop away as a pair of muscular arms encircled me.

"Who did this to you?" inquired Kisame's voice, close to my ear.

"No one. Now put me down, hmm!"

* * *

**AN:**

Doku Mahi – Poison Paralysis

The next chapter will probably not be so quick to come, but it will be here eventually. This one came out in record time, considering how inactive I've been of late. Finally, I get to use the material I've been saving for almost four years, ahahaha!


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